Starting chemo January 2009?

mnmom

ktym

Jess---yyyeeeaaahhhhh!!!!!!

Jilly G, how did it go?

mnmom

?

I had forgotten my pill Tomoxifin the other night so I switched to taking it mornings..

I was awake almost all last night. Can that cause insomnia??

ktym

mnmom, I've heard more complain about sleepiness then insomnia, but, everyone is a little different and maybe more complain about sleepiness and insomnia we attribute to other things.

Birthday today.  I'm going to celebrate by having an Onc visit and then heading to work, can I party or what.

mnmom

kmmd Happy bday

I think it may have been helping me sleep as I have had sleeping issues since my surgeries. Hope you have a good day.

jrgolomb

kmmd--lol.  and Happy Birthday!!!

I can't sleep lately because I have many hot flashes through the night.  Wakes me up.  Plus, dh has a sore shoulder and he tosses and turns which wakes me up! Oh well. 

jillyG

Hi Jewels, I had that transvaginal ultrasound and now the doctors office called and the lady said my doc wants me to come in first thing Monday morning.  Then she said the doc said to tell me not to stress over the weekend, and don't worry too much.  I said "well, I'm a little worried as there is obviously something to discuss" and she said 'yes, they found something' and that was pretty much the end.  What is the something?  A cyst?  thick uterine lining?  or some kind of growth?  So, now I'm worried, but being on Tamox I know it's common to have a biopsy as a followup because they often see things.  Why can't this be over?  I'm glad I am getting tested for things but it really is stressful. 

ktym

JillyG, so sorry to hear they're keeping you waiting over the weekend.  At least they said don't stress and not to worry, I have to think that means along the lines of what you are thinking, something to look into further maybe but he's not too worried?

That realization that its never over is kind of sinking in with me, sucks 

PLUTZ

   

Hi ladies, Hope everyone is doing good. Next week, have an appt. with plastic surgeon. Can't believe 1yr is coming up. Cancer Free!  I can't wait for my reconstruction.  

   Happy B-Day kmmd.

   JillyG- I'll be praying for you. Don't worry too much. It may be nothing. I have a couple of weeks before my CT scan  to check my lung. I try not to think about it.

    mnmom- Glad you joined our thread. Everyone has been a blessing, through our good and bad days.

mnmom

jillyG,

 if I may...I had an ovarian cyst in Oct trans vag ultra sound too was waiting for other test results at the time but did get a biopsy/type thing it was a small scaping of the lining that got tested only a bit uncomfortable & very breif. I did imagine the worst too always thinking Tamox was going to get me. Astounded by all the followup testing & procedures too. Better safe than sorry I guess.

Too bad you have to wait til Monday waiting stinks!

Thanks Plutz!

kmmd, Hope you had some fun on your bday too. Hope that your onc apt went well.

jillyG

I emailed my surgeons secretary (he was the one who ordered the test) and told her my family doc got the results so I assume my surgeon has them too and was wondering if someone could call me and discuss the results.  Waiting to hear back.  I would hate to wait until Monday to get the results. 

Phyllis, I can't wait for reconstruction too!  My expander surgery is June 23rd, so excited for that! 

mnmom, I am hoping that it is just a cyst or something.  I think it'll be fine, I really can't imagine having something serious wrong, the only fear I have is the Tamox is doing something to my uterus and that they'll want me to stop the Tamox.  I would really really not want to stop my Tamox, it would have to be something pretty major for me to stop taking Tamox.

mnmom

 I had the same fears about what it might do to my uterus...That & my cyst & 1 distant relative had OC + other issues I opted for a total hysterectomy in Feb 2010. I still take tamox because your adrenal glands can still produce estrogen or a component that is turned into it anyhow. I have 1 more year of Tamox....than a diff med for 3 more scheduled.

Of course I too hope that it is nothing. Hope they do not make you wait too.

There was no issues with my uterine biopsy.

After the surgery I was so relieved that the chances of there ever being anything were reduced greatly. It was a bigger concern 'subconciously' than I had realized.  A huge weight off my shoulders ...that & no C was found in pathology after. (I am only saying it was right for me!)

Renrel

JillyG- Until hearing otherwise I would assume that if there something serious to discuss they would not put you off till Monday.  That they would tell you over the phone if necessary. So stop thinking about it and enjoy the weekend. Worrying never accomplished anything anyway. 

 I have my 6 mth appt next week, with a lung screening and a follow up with my PS.  I still need to schedule nipple work.  I am not expecting any bad news but it will be really bad timing if there is any bad news.  Next weekend is my Mom's 70th and we are all getting together at a resort.  I would not want to put a damper on the festivities nor would I want to keep a big secret.  

I am thinking of taking May 26 off to celebrate in some way, maybe do the mikva again, maybe have DH and DS play hooky with me and to the the beach or something.  I will be one year from having completed chemo and I feel much more like celebrating this year than I did last year.  Last year I was just to tired to get excited.  And you know what, just these last 2 weeks I have finally really been starting to feel more like myself. I find it strange how I can start feeling even better when I did not even realize I was not feeling fully well.  I even was the initator in bed the other night.  DH was pleasantly suprised.  

ktym

Renrel, so happy to hear you're starting to feel better

Renrel

Today was busy busy busy. DS and DH had soccer in the morning.  DH is assistant coach this season.  Then they went to Home Depo for a kids project.  While they did that I went bathing suit shopping.  Unfortunately it is more than just my bust that is bigger.  The mircle suit seems to do a good job and making me look a bit thinner but costs an arm and a leg.  I bought about $300 worth of suits but plan to return most of them.  Figure DH and help me decide if the $150 set is really that much better than the $75 set.  While I was there I picked up a pair of jeans, some pants and a skirt.  Now I have to decided if they are needed.  I stopped by the libary and picked up Eclipse that I had on request.  So I now have a audiobook I am hooked on, a book club book I am dragging through, a book in the bathroom that I am just starting to get into, and now Eclipes is going to get me hooked.  On the way back I found DH and DS playing tennis.  DS was doing well and not getting upset when a shot went badly.  DH was doing great as coach.  I became the ball fetcher and a target for DS to aim at.  When we got home we took a very short bike ride and then DH raised the training wheels on DS bike and we went out again.  But DS got all moppy because his big thing right now is rideing up and then down a hill near our house as fast as he can.  This is a big deal because it took him two year to get up the courage to even get back on his bike after taking a spill turning out going down a street ramp.  So DH is concerned that the way DS turns the training wheels will make him more likely to fall and told him to take it slow.  Which ruined the whole thing for DS.  sign.  Then DS and I had played a game of "life" and DH took off for NY where he his doing a 45 mile bike ride with his brothers.  Then he called me to tell me he just heard on the news that there was a water main break. So now I have to boil my water before I use it to cook, drink or brush teeth.  Thank goodness I am not still on chemo and immune supressed.  Then I might not be able to shower either.  Tomorrow I am taking DS to a movie in the morning and we have a playdate with good friends from his old preschool in the afternoon.  So I have not time to worry about my chest scan or blood work coming up this week. 

ktym

Renrel, you still manage to pack more in a day then I do a week I swear.  I'll keep my fingers crossed for you on the chest scan and bloodwork.  Please let us know how it goes.

PLUTZ

  Hi ladies.  Well I had my CT scan this morning. Hopefully its nothing. If I don't hear from my doctor, I should assume everythings ok. Sat. I took my dog for a visit to a kennel. The girls said she can't be boarded. She's too temperamental with the other dogs. She is a Silky Terrier. A little dog and she is so aggressive with dogs. I was given the alternative to have an in home sitter when I go on vacation. I think my dog will be much happier. I have my appt. Thurs. with the plastic surgeon. Can't wait to see what my options are regarding reconstruction.

ktym

Plutz, let us know

Jilly G, hear anything yet?

ladyjane54

Hi ladies:  JillyG any results yet?  Glad to see we are all doing well and surviving post cancer meds. etc.  It is that time again when the dreaded mammo is due.  I saw Onco dr. last week.  He found nothing to be concerned with.  Haven't heard about blood work so I assume it was fine.  Have to schedule mammo now for July or August.  Bone scan in Sept.  I was taken off Boniva a while back and my jaw pain went away so Dr. decided not  to put me back on it.  Will start a nasal spray that is suppose to also prevent bone loss.  Anyone ever heard of this?  Don't have it yet so not sure of the name.  Doesn't sound like something I look forward to doing every day.  I do not like nasal sprays.

Going to schedule an appt. with PS as he told me I needed to wait at least 6 to 9 months after the surgery for the infection before I could do next surgery and that was in Sept. of last year so about 8 months have passed now.  Not looking forward to more surgery so really dragging my feet.

I have been feeling so good.  Aches and pains in the joints have gone away with the change of meds. Back at gym workingo out and have lost 17 lbs. Most of what I gained during treatment.

Just got back from Hawaii visiting my son who is stationed at Pearl Harbor and it was so much fun.  This time last year I was still so sick I was not sure I'd ever see him again ( I haven't seen him in three years) because of the cancer I was unable to travel there.  Had a great time.

Gotta go to take DS to school now and then off to work.  Just wanted to drop in.  I read all the time but post little.  Welcome to mnmom.  HI tol all.  Patti

p.s.  Can you believe Granbaby just turned a year old!!!! What a blessing she has been.

ktym

Patti, no, can't believe she's a year old, but sure brings back memories of how sick you were last year right before she was born.  What a difference a year makes.  Happy to hear you are so well

jillyG

Hi ladies!  Well, here's the results.  I have a 2cm complex cystic mass on my left ovary.  The doctor said to biopsy would be under general anesthesia and she thinks we should wait 5 weeks and see if it is still there and has changed at all.  She said if it's still there, we will biopsy and she will refer to a gynecologist (she's my family doctor).  So, I go back in June 9th to have another look.  From what I understand, this is different than a simple or "functional' cyst that comes and goes and doesn't really give you much trouble and is very common.  Mine is 'complex' but that still doesn't mean it's cancer.  I have read that 95% of masses are benign.  You'd think that would calm me down right?  But when you consider I was diagnosed at 33 years old with breast cancer with no family history of any cancer at all, I kind of beat the odds a little, so I am nervous.  I wish I had my genetic test results back to see if I am BRCA +. 

have any of the jewels had a 'complex cyst' before???? 

Ladyjane, happy birthday to your grandbaby! I love Hawaii!!  I've been to Maui and it was paradise, still one of my favorite places. 

Phyllis, we're in the same place right now, the stress of routine tests and the joy of finally getting reconstruction.  Due to a freak snowstorm I had to reschedule my plastic surgery appt until June 9th, but my surgery is still June 23rd.   My June 9th will be to discuss the details of the surgery, I can't wait

ktym

Jilly G, can't imagine how tough its going to be to keep your mind off of that the next 5 weeks.  I haven't, but have had 2 friends with complex cysts that were benign on biopsy.  Hugs to you

KM47

Hello  January Jewells. I can't believe how long it has been since I've been on these boards. Life has got in the way but I think of you all often and wonder how everyone is doing.

I came on to "research" some stuff and thought I'd also check out this thread while I was logged in, which was so valuable to me during my treatment. Once I got here I was interested to read the recent posts on Tamoxifen and its side effects. The research I'm looking for is on women's experience of bleeding while on Tamoxifen since it's something that's just started to happen to me after a year of no periods. Anyone else experienced that? My doctor has referred me for a scan (of my uterus) next week which I'm terrifed about. I say to myself how unlikely it is to be anything but like you JillyG I also beat the odds a little in getting breast cancer at 37 so understand what you mean about feeling anxious.  I really hope you get good news!!! Five weeks is a long time but you'll get there.

I certainly find the waiting the hardest part and it's only a three-week wait for me. I'd forgotten how awful waiting is. It just seems so unfair that we go through one set of tests, illness and treatment, only to have them cause us to worry about another set of potential problems. 

Love to you all.

K.

PS -PLUTZ - hope you get good scan news.

jrgolomb

Hey fec buddy.  So good to hear from you.  Oh, the waiting is so tough.  I don't quite understand why the wait is so long. 

kmmd-so, where are you in the get together pic?  Any hints?  I am sad I didn't make it to the gathering.  Dd had a huge mix up and didn't get to prom; it was a disaster in teen proportions and so I spent most of the night keeping her busy and assuring her it wasn't her fault. She had planned on attending another school's prom because she knows the kids there better and her friend didn't get the proper passes through in time so she couldn't go.  It was a long night, but I am glad to say she is over the trauma to a large extent mainly because she is busy studying for exams, is in a musical and has to work. 

So, I had a great report with a clear mri as I said a bit ago, and yet today I feel so blue and pessimistic.  Anybody go through such bouts?  For the first time in quite a while, I woke up in the middle of the night in a panic and  felt the horrible pit in the stomach or deep wave of fear like I did when I was told I had cancer.  I was very surprised because I thought I had a " I am gonna live my life in spite of ....."  attitude that was good enough to help me function, have fun everyday and simply put continue on.  It's odd, I feel all of a sudden everything has come to an abrupt standstill.  Anybody?

Renrel

No time to chat, but realized I should let you all know my check went fine so you would not worry about the silence.  The blood work was still cooking when I left but I have not heard anything. There was nothing on the chest scan.  Funny thing was the scan was over about 11:30 the report was actually read and in the computer by the time I saw my onc before noon.  He was shocked and checked again to make sure he was not reading the old one.  He commented that I must have some special energy going for me because it usually take a couple of days to get the report.  I had spent the half hour before the exam in the healing garden doing reiki on myself.  Can't say it was the reiki, but it was a nice coincience.  OK I need to get to bed.  Night all

KM47

Hey FEC buddy!

I know exactly what you mean about the bouts of panic. Sometimes it's related to  a specific thing (like the upcoming scan) but other times it's just a sense of foreboding for no reason at all at 3am. I don't have it constantly, but often enough to be frustrating. Like you it surprises me since I also thought my positive grab-life atittude would be to the fore.... I wondered to a woman who had breast cancer long before me if it will ever go away and she said it lessened her her over time which made me feel better. I  suspect it's because (other than the Tamoxifen and 6-monthly checkups) the formal treatment has stopped. Whereas with the surgery, then the chemo, then the radiotherapy and then the Herceptin I was at the hospital regularly now I'm largely left to my own devices. Knowing the fear is normal helps a bit I think. 

Renrel, pleased to see you had good results. I feel so happy when I read such posts.

Hugs to you all.

K.

ktym

Renrel, thanks for letting us know the scans all went well.

Jess, disaster of teen proportions is right.  sorry to hear that.  I didn't make it so I'm not in the picture.  So disappointed.  I was in the ED all Friday night and most of Saturday.  Fellow BC survivor with NO family support. I didn't get out of there until the get together was starting, add in Pres Obama traffic that day and there was no way I was getting to Willimaston until long after everyone was gone.  So disappointed.  My friends home from the hospital now and doing ok.  I'll just have to make the next one.  Guess we're talking Imlay City?  Never never been there

PLUTZ

        hi ladies. Well had my consult with the plastic surgeon yesterday. I had 2 options. So I decided to go for the latissimus flap versus the diep flap. Its less surgery. I have enough scars on my body. Has anyone done this one and how did it go and how long is recovery? I really wanted the tummy tuck but the doctor said I would have to go through tests and MRI and whatever else. I don't want to go through all that. Oh and I'm getting a breast reduction at least 2 sizes.

        Did  a bunch of you get together?  didn't know about it but I wouldn't have been able to go at this time. Hopefully next time. I have a very busy summer. My family is going to Albuquerque in June and I'm having a 50th birthday party for my DH and   my niece is getting married in July. Reconstruction in Aug., recovery, and I was hoping to walk in the race for the cure in Sept., but I'll have to see how I'm recouping. Have a great weekend. Its supposed to be rainy and cold here.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

ktym

Phyllis, exciting to hear reconstruction is in the works.  Jess and I had planned on meeting with the Michigan survivors group last weekend.  However, Jess's daughter had a prom crisis and I ended up in the ER with a friend going through surgical complications.  Hopefully next time is right.

BerkeleyKim

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!!!

I'm trying to finish up my credential portfolio so that I can go out to a mother's day dinner!!! My middle child sent me the cutest card--it was from a photo service (you send photos in and they format), and I almost recycled it because it looked like an ad and her name wasn't on the cover. A lot of the pictures were from the last year and showed me with various "hairstyles." What a year. May 15 marks my last chemo tx. Amazing.

 I had a conference last week with my principal and almost started crying, thinking about what a challenge this year has been in so many ways. It was really hard for me to go back to work full time and school. Glad I did it, lots of rewards but hard to find a good balance and focus on family and my health. I'm glad summer is just a few weeks away. 

My youngest just got her learner's permit to drive. I took her driving a couple times now, and I have to say I'm much less nervous than I was with the other two. She is so independent, and is applying for a lifeguard position up in the Sierra's at the Berkeley Echo Lake camp. They've offered her the job, but she's worried that she won't get it when they find out she's not 16.

Jillly--thinking positive thoughts. Cysts are pretty common, and it sounds like that's what it is

Phyllis--good news on the recon, and sending good wishes for good news on the scans. And great you have the recon date.

Patti-that grandbaby is a year already! Interesting about the boniva, and now you have relief from the pain. I have different muscle/bone pain, and I wonder if it's from that. I hate to go off the trial. So far Advil helps.

Jess-you know I understand about the anxiety attacks. Mine are more like stomach punches of dread. Less frequent now, but they do hit me unexpectedly. Sorry about your dd's prom crisis. Motherhood...!!

km47-good to hear from you. Hope you find out soon about the bleeding.

Renrel--great news on the good check up!

kmmd-hope you're friend is doing well. How great that she has you.