Has anyone started a forum for Chemo in Dec 2008?
Comments
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I am day 10- tx4 and I am almost back to normal. I am in full nadir so I am trying to stay away from sick people but it is very hard (I am working full time.) TG tomorrow is Friday and by Monday I should be fine.
I am very happy for all of you who had finished or are close to finish chemo. I am getting really depressed at the though of me just starting 12 weeks of Taxol. I know my doctor wants the best for me but I am having doubts if this is really necessary.
Grancy11
I had Left Mastectomy no reconstruction. I have decided after chemo to go for prophylactic right side mastectomy and I will not have reconstruction. My DH said he is ok with my decision and I am looking forward for life without a bra.
I have not lost all my hair. I am not bold and I am not covering my head. I lost nose hair, private areas, legs and armpit but interesting enough I didn't loose the armpit hair on the surgery side. I was wondering if chemo actually reaches that side or not. But the hair is coming back already.
I had not had my period since Oct 08 ( dx month) and I do have hot flashes day and night. They are coming more often and stronger after each TX.
On a sad side, yesterday we found out that my mother in law has breast cancer, too. She is 70 years old and I am very afraid for her. I feel terrible for my DH. She leaves in Europe so we cannot even be there with her because of my chemo. She didn't have a biopsy yet (next week), but the tumor has ramifications already and it looks like the nodes are involved as well. My DH is my rock and I am very, very sad and upset. I hate this disease!
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Gale,
I had a hard time accepting my last treatment. My problem was and still is that I'm triple negative so there is no further treatment for me. I feel like I should be doing more. A lot of ladies are going on to rads and I just felt I should do more. My doctor told me that we were very aggressive with my treatment and it was time for me to get on with my life. I cried. I had only cried once during this whole process (New Years Eve after 2nd treatment). I feel like I more emotional since ending the chemo. Maybe it's chemo induced menopause?????
I have an appointment with my PS to start reconstruction so I feel like I have something to look forward to. You may have to plan/schedule a vacation or something you would look forward to. I believe we forget to happy and have hope.
There are better days ahead. Just hang in there!
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Updated list:
mimiwhite #4 1-Feb 4xTC
mmliv #4 3-Feb 4xTC
Brenny # 4 4 Feb 4xTC
isasayers #4 6Feb 4xTC
horsercn #1 9 Feb (TH) 4xAC
+12 Taxol+Herceptin ptjen #4 11 feb 4xTC
CindaD #4 12-Feb 4xTC
swest #4 13 Feb 4xTC
iktracey #4 17 Feb 4xTC
apfuentes #4 17 Feb 4xTC
bkokie #4 19 Feb 4xTC
Grancy11 # 4 23 Feb 6xTC
Texas357 T#4 24 Feb 3xFEC
+9xTaxotere LindaBusEd #5 24 Feb 6xTAC
zuffa #5- 25 Feb 6xTAC
Catrenae T1-T12 26 Feb-14 May 4xAC
+12xTaxol Romiles #4 26 Feb
cebula #5 2 March 6xTC
Majanumba1 #5 2 March 6xTCH
Bold #4 2 March 6xTCH
sdavis #5 2 March 6xTC
Texas357 T#5 3 March 3xFEC
+9xTaxotere DrDecker #4 4 March 4xTC
Firni #5 4 March 6xTC
Texas357 T#6 10 March 3xFEC
+9xTaxotere Lainey64 #4T 12 March 4xAC
+4xTaxol simvog T1-T12 13 March-29 May 4xFAC
+12xTaxol LindaBusEd #6 18 March 6xTAC
cebula #6 23 March 6xTC
Majanumba1 #6 23 March 6xTCH
Bold #5 23 March 6xTCH
sdavis #6 23 March 6xTC
Texas357 T#7 24 March 3xFEC
+9xTaxotere Firni #6 25 March 6xTC
Texas357 T#8 31 March 3xFEC
+9xTaxotere Texas357 T#9 4 April 3xFEC
+9xTaxotere Bold #6 13 April 6xTCH
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Swest, thanks for your encouragement. I've been following your posts and feel better in your wake. I think you're right about having something to look forward to. I wasn't going to consider recon, but now I'm beginning to recon the recon. What kind are you having?
Simvog, I am touched by the news of your mother in law. Most of my DH's fam is still in Europe too. Eastern, where the health care is not so good. I hope your MIL fares better. Am dedicating my tears to her.
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Hi Gayle,
I can only speak for myself, but finishing chemo last week was exciting and I felt great afterward and the next day. I went shopping and bought myself a new wig to celebrate the end of chemo. The woman at the wig shop told me that it would be 6-9 months before I have enough hair to style, so a new wig seemed reasonable and I do love it, as wigs go. The feelings of being a little let down or maybe just uncertain started 2-3 days after Tx and still bother me, but now my head is moving on and planning for a "month off" until surgery and then radiation. This whole process is extremely hard on the body, but the emotional and thinking part of us suffers equally and the doubts and fears creep in at odd times when they aren't welcome or expected. I am far from finished with treatment and can't even imagine how equally wonderful and frightening that will feel when it actually happens.
Good luck to you -- give yourself a fun treat or have a little celebration when you finish chemo -- it's a big step!.
I'm glad you decided to join this thread.
~Bonnie
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Simvog, I'm right here with you dreading the taxol. I'm starting on the 13th as well, but have been spending most of my time trying to figure out a really good reason not to do it. Sigh. I'm so sorry to hear the news about your MIL.:-(
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Simvog,
I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I have heard of women in their 70's doing ok through chemo and rads. Your family will be in my prayers.
Keep us posted!
<<<Hugs>>> Sonia
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Bonnie, thanks so much for your reply. I really am looking forward to saying "I'm done!" (with chemo, anyway), and appreciate your words of encouragement. I'm sure I'll feel better once it's really over, and fortunately I already have a wig that I love... even my own sister-in-law couldn't tell it was one, and a stranger in the Ladies' Room at the theater yesterday asked where I'd gotten my hair done... I told here where I'd "bought" it and she was really surprised too! Still, I'll be glad to get my own back... I think that will go a long way toward restoring my spirits. That, and deciding what, if anything, to do about the frontal anatomy. I'm glad & grateful to have this forum and all of you trailblazers to follow. Cheers!?!
Gayle.
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Gayle - finished up my last TC 2+ weeks ago and still getting odd SE's plus just broke down crying today. All these aches and pains and never before having them - not knowing if I've done the right thing or not. I was flatchested before and now have opted for implants - very selfconcious about the whole ordeal. Clothes don't look the same, nothing fits. I thought I would head into #4 feeling elated but instead have this letdown feeling while those all around me are celebrating. I still sleep way too much and get fatigued more than I should and I WANT MY HAIR BACK!! So, this is not the type of encouragement you want or need. Just know that alot of us are going through the same thing with you. Be it hot flashes, those first sprouts of hair, not leaving the house without drawing on those brows, wanting a normal sex life, wig or bald?, good days of feeling powerful and down days of wondering if we chose or were connected to the right treatment plan, wanting, not wanting....crying and laughing. You are with all of us around the country and the world. Stay close.
Bobbi
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Bobbi - You are reading my mind (and heart)! That is exactly the way I feel.
Sonia
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My husband and I were talking last night and I got to counting how long it has been since my dx. It has only been a little over four months. I was shocked. I feel like it has been a year. It is hard to remember some things from before. All my focus and attention has been on this battle and my body feels old and warn out. My husband says that the hardest part for him is how lonely he is. I can understand that since we used to do everything together. We always had a lot of fun even if it was sitting on the couch and watching a movie. Now between work and fighting this battle I don't have much left. He even ends up doing most of the activities with the kids. At least one week out of three I end up in bed by 8:00. With reconstruction and other thigs ahead I wonder when I will ever start to feel normal again. I guess I should add that I have two treatments left so the chemo part is not even finished yet.
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Hang in there Mombos - there will be an end - you just can't see it yet but stay talking to your husband, he needs to know how you are feeling.
hugs, Bobbi
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simvog - edited because I had not seen your message about your mother in law -- we will add her to our prayers. I'm sure it must be difficult for you and your husband being so far away from her at this time. Sorry you are feeling low and still have those additional treatments to face. But you have been so strong for all of us on this board -- I know you will succeed -- and we will be here for you!
TX #6 - 3/18. My last one!!!! #5 was uneventful -- waiting for the next few days of yucky mouth. Lymph node has vanished and the tumor is almost competely gone -- my oncologist thinks there will probably be a complete clinical response after the last two treatments (cannot assess the results of #5 until I go in for #6). After the mastectomy we will have the pathological report and see if the path response has been complete as well. But no matter what, he said the magnitude of response to the chemo was an excellent prognosticator particularly with regard to killing any rougue cells that might have escaped elsewhere -- and given original size of the triple negative beast, that is very good news. Once again, thanks for all of your hard work keeping up the list!
And best wishes to all.
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Yea Zuffa! What good news!!!!!!!!!
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Gayle,
I just wanted to respond to your comment about deciding what, if anything, to do about your frontal anatomy. When I was diagnosed with IDC in my left breast that required mastectomy, it seemed very logical to have immediate reconstruction so both sides would match. I didn't do enough research and the decision to have reconstruction with a tissue expander is the only decision I have second-guessed from the beginning. Again though, it is a very personal decision. If I had known more about the extent of my BC (not possible until after surgery) and the actual process of reconstruction, I would have opted for bilateral mast with no reconstruction, but as they say, hind sight is 20-20. All of my doctors continue to assure me that I will be very happy with the final results and that there was no reason to have both breasts removed. I guess my advice to you would be to do a lot of research so you will be prepared to make the best decision for your individual situation.
~Bonnie
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Hi Divas. I've been sitting here catching up on posts. There has been a lot of activity since my last visit! I had Taxol #3 today... only 1 more to go. Carie and Simvog, do not worry yourself too much about starting the Taxol. So far the worst SE for me has been the body aches and they do get pretty bad (at least for me). But after 2 TXs, I think I know how I will handle it this time. My onc sugguested taking Advil or Motrin right before the pain normally starts and take it around the clock. So for me, that is around day 3. The aches usually last for 3-4 days. I haven't had too many issues with neuropathy. I have some slight numbness in one of my toes and my tingers tingle occasionally. I hope you will notice a great improvement with your taste buds and appetite. I have for sure. And there is no nausea which is great! I started working out again too. So please don't get too stressed out about starting.
I agree with everyone, this cancer and chemo this really sucks. I'm really ready for it to be over too. I think being able to get back into my normal routine is helping me to feel better. It feels good to workout again and to be "in control" of things a bit more.
Zuffa, that is fantastic news! I hope your news just continues to get better and better.
Have a good evening everyone. Elaine
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Elaine - Yea! One more to go!! You can do it!
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Wow...taking me some time to catch up with everything here!
Simvog...I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. I know from experience how hard it is to deal with when there is somebody else in your family who is also going through cancer!
Zuffa...congrats on the good news...it is well deserved.
Mombos...I feel the same way. I was diagnosed in September and it seems like it has been a year! So much to happen in such a short time...diagnosis, bilateral mastectomy with expanders, chemo and now getting ready for my reconstrtuction surgery!
Bobbi...I think we all feel the same way as you at times...wondering if we have made the right decisions. But you know, I do that when it comes to any major life decisions. I think we just need to make our decisions and remember that they are the right ones for us...they may not be right for somebody else, but they are for us.
As far as how I'm feeling since I finished my last treatment...this is day 21 for me...it makes it easier to get back to life. I even forget about the "c" word and it feels like everything is normal again. Because I feel like I took care of the problem. I had cancer...I don't have it any more. So now I'm getting on with life. Of course in three weeks I will have a reminder again when I go through my exchange surgery, but for now, I'm moving on. I can't let this define me.
I am using the experience to help other women. I have started a Team Survivor Affiliate here and am working to get that up and going. But I believe in my heart that the chemo worked and now I can move ahead with my life.
Even before this....I had been doing a lot of reading about the mind and how powerful it is...and I believe that I'm healthy and that I'm going to be around for a very long time...so that I can pester my grandchildren and dance at their weddings!
Be strong and believe for better days!
Hugs
Lisa
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Lisa - You always have a way of lifting my spirits. THANK YOU!
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Bobbi - what a great post. This is exactly how I feel. Isn't it interesting how since chemo started in December we've all been feeling the same way all along! This week has been hard for me, I had a major breakdown last night, actually still iffy about my tears. When I first met with the onc, original plan was 4 TC, then it got switch to 6 TC when oncotype came back so high, but then found out oncotype isn't valid since I'm really triple neg. Right now, I have no idea why I'm doing 6 TC. Going in for #5 on Monday. I think I'm having a hard time thinking about that fact that with plan A, I would be done and I'd be moving with rads. I'm so tired too, not getting enough sleep. I lashed out on my blog last night about everything I'm tired of. I've been bordeline crying for 2 days. This sucks!
zuffa, that's great news
simvog, so sorry about your MIL, must be hard not being able to be with her.
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Caroline - I can only imagine what you are feeling. You may want to speak with the oncologist tomorrow or before your treatment. He may tell you 4 is enough. It's worth a try! Either way you can get your questions answered.
Big hugs to you!
Sonia
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Bobcat(Bobbi) and BKokie(Bonnie): Thanks so much for your replies. It's really very comforting to know that I have company on this trip!
Bobbi, I'm glad to know I'm not alone with my thoughts and emotions. I know I'm not crazy, but sometimes it sure feels that way. Perhaps it's just that, after living with the stress for so long the mind and bod are going through a rough patch trying to adjust to the next phase of treatment or "disease management". I'm gonna try thinking of it that way and see if that helps smooth the bumpy ride any. I feel like the last guy in the chain climbing Dunn's River Falls. Thanks for hanging on to me!
Bonnie, thanks too for your thoughts on a "front end alignment" (as my girlfriend calls it). I'm starting to consider having an mx on the "other" side and then, maybe, recon.... or not... but if I do recon then, I'd have a better chance of a matching set wouldn't I? What good would it do to recon just one side, then find out later the other one's gotta go too... Well, at least I guess I'm making progress if I'm thinking about this rather than chemo, eh? and yes, I'll do much more research yet... I'm sorry you weren't given better choices, but I hope you're satisfied with the result? Double-flat would probably be fine with me too... but I've learned that I can only make one decision at a time, so doing the other mx might be the right next step for me... thanks again for your thoughts, encouragement and "ear"!
~Gayle.
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One thing about this disease -- it's not something we can get past with any urgency. I too am so tired of BC ruling my life. I want my hair back, my stamina back, my taste buds back .. and I don't want BC to be the topic of conversation all the time! Uggh.
I met with my PS this morning. Granted I have much longer to wait for reconstruction than many of you, but she wanted to meet with me before rads begin. She reminded me that my good physical condition enabled me to rebound faster from the original surgery. That gave me the kick in the butt I needed to be more diligent about working out.
We can and we will move forward!
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Gayle,
One thing to possibly consider....Have the mx on both sides, but do check out foobs. I had a rt. mx in Nov. and because I am going back to work in about 6 weeks, I went and got fitted with a silicone breast form, and it is wonderful! The fitter did such a great job that you cannot tell that it is not a real breast! It feels and bounces just like my other breast. It is exactly the same size and probably weight as my other breast. If you are getting both sides done, you can get any size you want. Even the bras with pockets in them are now pretty. I am very happy with my decision NOT to have recon.
I am so anxious to have my hair back that I dreamt last night that I was shampooing my hair and conditioning it. Weird part was that I could not get the cap back on the shampoo and conditioner bottles and the stuff was running down the drain, I was trying to stop it...Then I woke up...
Mombos, it feels like FOREVER that I have been dealing with this *%#*&!@ disease too! I'm just coming up on 6 mos. DH goes on ahead and does things by himself now, because I usually feel like CRAP! How carefree life was 6 months ago compared to now! Those things that i thought were "problems" are nothing compared to this. Will that ever be again? I have always heard people say, "If you have your health, you have everything." How true that is! I will never again take good health for granted! All I know is that I just must get through the next 2 chemo tx's so I can start the rads. I do have an appt with the rad Dr. on 3/11 so it does feel like I am moving forward. Spring needs to get here soon!
I just want my life back!!!!!!!
Carol berrypatch
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It's a windy day here in Northern Virginia. As I'm walking out of a store earlier this morning, a huge gust of wind comes up from under my "hair" and I almost had a mortifying experience. Luckily I reacted quickly and grabbed the top of my wig. Whew. I don't know if it would have actually blown off had I not done that, but thankfully I didn't have to find out. When I got to my car I almost started crying...I want my hair back!!!
Day 11 after TC #4 and I'm finally starting to feel back to my old self...energy is almost all back, taste buds are finally back to normal. Two more weeks until my exchange surgery...hopefully recovery is quick and then it's just a matter of dealing with the SEs of Tamoxifen, which hopefully are next to none.
Lisa - I am interested in hearing more about Team Survivor. I looked at the website and love the idea of starting something like that in my area. I will PM you later today!
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Wow there is so much going on with the beautiful survivors on this board. Simvog My heart just aches for you and your family. It seems so insidious and unfair. I am just sick with it and of it. Find the cure already.! (not you ,you know what I mean)
Celuba:I think because your tumor was 2mm and grade 3 your Dr. are taking and aggressive stance. I would be at peace with it and fight on. you are young and strong. You can do it. There is not to much out there to fight the trip neg so he is doing the best he can with the available chemistry. One of my good friends is trip neg and a survivor for 4 years now. She did a very aggressive chemo too. Have you tried meditation. I would be a mess without it.
Lisa:Good to hear from you sister. I sounds that you are having some good days. You have been through allot and are in my prayers for peace and happiness and most important health. What going on with your adjuvant care?
It seems that emotions are running high. I sure can relate. I too am so anxious for the summer. I want to jump in my pool. (I will no longer have to worry about my hair getting fried in the chlorine) See all the beautiful flowers blooming and hear the laughter of my family.
My biggest challenge post chemo and rads is to loose weight. It is the most important thing that I can do to help with recurrence. I have had a hard time since starting chemo to watch what I eat. It seems that I have used food to some how comfort me. I am meeting with an nutritionist on Monday while I am receiving Chemo. #4 of 6. I hope that she can help although I already no the answer. EAT LESS MOVE MORE!!
I have to hand it to all of you that have continued to work during chemo and then come home to families that need you too. I do not think that I could do it. You are truly amazing. I have a hard time for two of the three weeks just getting exercise.
Hang in there sisters you all have my prayers!
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Simvog,
At your convenience, March 18 #6 TAC
Last one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda
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Just an update to say that I had to see my PCP this morning for symptoms of a UTI. The UTI was confirmed and I'm on Cipro for 5 days. The doctor told me to call if my symptoms get worse this weekend and she will hospitalize me for IV antibiotics. This weekend I'll be hoping for the best, drinking lots of cranberry juice and water and taking my Cipro diligently.
Thinking good thoughts for each and every one of you.
~Bonnie
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Oh Bonnie, I hope you get to feeling better and won't have to go into the hospital! Drinks LOTS of water and take your Cipro like a good girl.
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Bonnie, take care of yourself. Hoping this goes away so that YOU can stay away from the hospital.
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