I'm bitchy, I moan, I groan.....anyway.

BooBee

I'm here Navy.  I have figured out how to position my laptop on my treadmill so I can walk and read at the same time.  Unfortunately, by the time I get finished reading I've forgotten to add my pearls of wisdom to the topics.  I'm recovering from an Oopha so I have more time to chat.  By the way, recovery time is great with an Oopha.  Two days max but I could still get around okay when I got home the day of.

KAK

Sheila & Bonnie, LMAO!!!!!!!

My other foob story is from when I first started back to work & was feeling like total crap.  Well, as you all know, I'm sure, everyone who hasn't had breast cancer thinks that we all want to hear about every @#$%%^&*$@ pink-themed fundraising event within a thousand mile radius for the rest of our lives.  So, one day, I go to work & someone came up to me and asked me why I wasn't wearing pink.  Not, "Hi, how are you?"  Not, "how ya feeling?"  Just "why aren't you wearing pink?" like I wasn't being a good breast cancer survivor or something.  So, I said I didn't look that good in pink, and then was told that there was some kind of pink awareness day at one of the local grammar schools.  So, okay, great, but I do not have kids or grandkids in grammar school and I don't live in that particular town, so why would I give a rodent's derriere???  Anyway, after about the 6th person came up to me and asked me why I wasn't wearing pink that day, I lost it.  So, I whipped out the foob, shook it vehemently, and said, "I am wearing pink -- every day!"  Shut them up.

KAK

Sheila & Bonnie, LMAO!!!!!!!

My other foob story is from when I first started back to work & was feeling like total crap.  Well, as you all know, I'm sure, everyone who hasn't had breast cancer thinks that we all want to hear about every @#$%%^&*$@ pink-themed fundraising event within a thousand mile radius for the rest of our lives.  So, one day, I go to work & someone came up to me and asked me why I wasn't wearing pink.  Not, "Hi, how are you?"  Not, "how ya feeling?"  Just "why aren't you wearing pink?" like I wasn't being a good breast cancer survivor or something.  So, I said I didn't look that good in pink, and then was told that there was some kind of pink awareness day at one of the local grammar schools.  So, okay, great, but I do not have kids or grandkids in grammar school and I don't live in that particular town, so why would I give a rodent's derriere???  Anyway, after about the 6th person came up to me and asked me why I wasn't wearing pink that day, I lost it.  So, I whipped out the foob, shook it vehemently, and said, "I am wearing pink -- every day!"  Shut them up.

(((((((Jane))))))))

EWB

LOVE IT!!!

pk0199

Kathi, ROFLMAO! We need to meet in person some day!

Got no bad issues today. One good one, hubby snagged tickets for Saturday night for Jeff Dunham, so excited told all the girls at work, their reply "Who is Jeff Dunham?" Put a damper on my excitement.

Best of luck to those waiting for tests and results and for those going through stuff!

sdavis

LOVE Jeff Dunham. have a great laugh for me.

saint

Ok--I can't be the only other one here who is outta the loop-who is jeff dunham? LOL

idaho

I am jealous you get to go to Jeff Dunham!!!  Tell Peanut HI!!!! Tami

navygirl

OMG I would LOVE to see him!!! You all probably know who he is by face or voice you just don't know the name...he's the comedian who uses the dummies (ventriloquist) for his routine! He is the funniest Fn thing on two feet!!! I am JEALOUS! I almost p'd my pants listening to him talk about his powder blue prius!

Ahhh, I feel a google coming on!

No IOS's I'm speaking of outloud...just one SOI that I am focusing on...my dear friend Deb has a daughter...I've know Deb since we were roommates in 1985. The daughter is getting married this weekend...and the dp and I are traveling down to Chesapeake, Va. for the wedding. I'm very excited...to get away, to see them, to go to the wedding...I'm just so glad my treatments are over and I'm going to be able to relax and enjoy it...Yay...

See you all afterwards...be well!

barbe1958

Is Jeff the one with the terroist? "I'm going to keeeeeeeeeeeel you!"

Good one Kathi. Have a blast navy! Glad you're up to it.

Hugz to all, no SOI yet...

GramE

nice weekend plans, Bonnie.   Enjoy, relax, have fun.  IOS is more rain, but that is the way it is.   I may need hip boots to take my walk.   HUGS for all.

lvtwoqlt

Barbe, Yes one of Jeff Dunham's alter egos is the terrorist! My husband and son love him. My husband listens to one of the comedy channels on his XM radio and loves to listen to him. After my husband mentioned the Jeff and the terrorist, my son looked him up on youTube because he hadn't seen the terrorist dummy but knew about Peanut and the halipino pepper (I don't remember the name) alter ego. We sat in my son's bedroom one night for about 30 minutes watching Jeff Dunham on YouTube.

Sheila

barbe1958

My DH actually giggles when we watch him on YouTube. Giggles. Like a child. Too cute!

Hey PK that means he's in Canada! Send him over to Ontario and have him look me up. 

saint

I really need to bitch! Everyone always says how rads are a "walk in the park"......it simply isn't true----at least not with mets! I am bloated beyond fitting into ANYTHING---I am farting noxious fumes that could clear an entire gym....I am in pain & diarrhea will keep me home now until it abates. I have 3 more rads to go so it's gonna get worse b4 it gets better. I am taking the drugs, but not helping-my body tends to over react to stuff so I'm worried about how much to increase etc.This AM I left the hospital & cried al the way home.......son was up & wanted to know what was wrong-----The UTTER IRONY---it occurred to me in the middle of tx--I never thought I'd live long enough to see him graduate & now I'll probably be sitting at home on the throne when he walks!!! I am so incredulous! Guess he's no less graduated whether I'm there to witness it or not............send a few prayers up for me---I hate when I feel defeated.

barbe1958

Oh Saint! GREAT rant!

You get my prayers AND my love!

Gentle hugs (don't wanna squeeze nothin' out!)

konakat

Oh Saint -- I'm sorry that I cracked up reading your rant, at least the farts and throne bit -- I can almost feel your frustration, no wait, that's my stomach roiling... 

Maybe you can be enthroned where his ceremony is, have someone call you when it's getting close to him walking, watch him and then run back to the bathroom?  Take tons of imodium before and worry about the consequences after?  I hope you don't miss it.  If you do, have a nice garden party afterwards and enjoy his success.  And, congratulations on raising a good son -- it's your success too! 

Elizabeth

EWB

Hugs Saint.

Makratz

Saint, I hope you can make it to your sons graduation. I like the Immodium idea.  I hope you are feeling better soon.  Only 3 more to go!!  So close! 

Jane_M

Saint - I'd tell you to put a cork in it, but you'd probably fart it out!

I'm not trying to minimize your frustration - just trying to cheer you up.  Hope it helps.

Maybe this will help

pk0199

Saint- I wish I could say something to make things better. The rad tx itself , laying on the table is easy, but I agree, everything else that happens after just sucks!  Make sure you touch the kitty, I am positive he will help you! Sending big hugs to you.

Barbe-I may not get to see him afterall. DH bid on two sets of tickets, one we have in our hot little hands. The other set, the lady hasn't called back to let us know where to pick them up. Since it is Father's day coming up, and he is truely a wonderful dad and the kid is stressed about exams, I have resigned myself to not going but letting the 2 go off by themselves. sniff sniff. But they were my "rocks" in Sept and the following months so...they deserve it.

dreamwriter

Saint - I am so sorry.  I told you it would be a walk in the park.  If the symptoms are too much, talk to the radiologist.  DOnt sit in agony - literally.  Maybe they can help the symptoms.  Please please know I am so so sorry that you are going through this.  I did try to call you - hubby did good protecting your shut eye.  Sleep well - chin up and mouth open.

BooBee

Saint.....I let one go in your honor.  If I could take the runs away too I would.  I'll be thinking about you during your sons graduation hoping for a solid dry day.

Big hugs

KAK

(((((((((((Saint)))))))))))))    Saint, tell you what?  A LOT of women on this forum would agree with you that RADS SUCK!!  I still get miffed when I think about how my rad onc downplayed the whole thing.  I ended up getting sick while I was getting them, came down with a mother of a cold, had to go on antibiotics, felt like dog doo.  And I'm still tired months later.  Jeesh.  I can't imagine how lousy you feel with all the other symptoms you are having.  Not fair.  Rant anytime.  Hang in there.

Rachel_BC

My RAD ONC decided to get a piece of me on the last appt.  I had just been bandaged up the day before correctly after ripping off my skin for several days, practically blind with pain and painkillers that were completely unneccessary if they had bandaged me properly before- not to mention being unable to get up to stop my kid from pulling a table down on himself and playing with the glass and cans in the recycling bin.  She had the nurses take off my nice bandages, leaving me naked and unable to move, behind a curtain- she never even looked at me, and started giving me shit.  I said, do you think you could have your nurses put me back together before you start asking me questions?  

I asked about what kind of care I should use after RADS ended, she said "Who are you asking, me or the nurse?"

I said uh, would the answer be different?

I said, "Do I have to take extra precautions when I go out in the sun?" She said I should wear a hat or sunscreen on my face and the general stuff we all know about going in the sun.  I kept trying to narrow the question so she would answer it, finally saying, If I went to France and was bathing topless, would I have to do anything special to protect this boob that's been radiated?  She said "Let me know before you go to France, make an appointment."  She wouldn't answer ANYTHING. 

She was totally playing games. I didn't even comprehend that until I got home, I was so out of it. I was asking about aftercare and skin creams, do I have to keep doing the creams.  She kept evading.  I said well what would you do if you were me?  She said "I wouldn't use anything at all".  Now I am thinking she meant that like- she didn't do RADS, so she didn't need creams and doesn't give a rat's ass what happens to me.

Then after the last RADS 3 days later they said "You have to see the doctor before you leave" or the nurse or whatever the hell they I HAD to do. In my gown.  I said, I'll meet you over there after I get my things from the locker.  Yeah right.  Fugetaboutit. I HAD to go see her again? Oh really?  What are ya gonna do if I don't?  Take your radiation back??? 

She thinks I'm coming in for the  1 month after appointment.  I don' thin so Lucy.  I decided I'd only come back if I had a recurrence (I know the ropes now) or if she'd agree to replay that last appointment with herself playing my role and me playing her.  She wouldn't have to have the pain, or the pain meds, (or the cancer and the terror) but she'd definitely have to be naked from the waist up behind a curtain while I give her a rash of shit she'd not soon forget.

I also went back to the Radiation Oncology department to hang out with a friend finishing up her RADS.  The looks on all the nurses and techs faces when they saw me were pretty much terror.  They aint so bold when you have your clothes on and no gown.

Lettin one rip for ya now Saint.  I have to admit, I come from a family of farters so, it's nothing unusual here....

I hope you make it to your son's granulation babe.  But then- you already have  

. 

Rachel_BC

post to add to favorites- oops

Anonymous

(This is the closest I come to comfortable public speaking.)

Ahem.  Thank you.  Thank you for that warm introduction.

Being told you have cancer is more of an odyssey than a journey.  You never know if there's a troll under the next bridge or if Glinda the Good is in that bubble coming right at you.  Face it, you neither want Disney doing your life in CG animation, MGM in Technicolor, Sondheim in song, or the Brother's Grim with a timely moral for the middle ages.  [Do NOT go into the woods unarmed and carrying food for yourself or anyone else.  Thank you.] 

Mastectomy.  Wow.  I needed a while to say goodbye to my left breas.  I told it that I would miss it, I wondered how the surgeon was going to remove it, and I laughed my head off when I read on community.breastcancer.org that a woman said her breast had gone to 'boob heaven.'  You had to have been in my shoes at the time.  It was funny imagining a part of me in heaven before the other parts - just waiting for me to catch up after an extended stay on earth.  There it would sit, waiting patiently, sending me a phantom itch every once in a while like a hug.  Fred is gone, but Ginger breast is still with me.

The surgeon talked to me about expanders, extra recuperative time, etc., and it did not sound funny at all.  What would my reconstructed breast look like?  They take the fat from where?  The new nipple is what?  I had heard enough.  I was also personally afraid that if I got a new breast, they might have to remove it later to get to something - and I was (am am) very tired of hospital stays - thank you very much.

Yes.  I was wary about reconstructive surgery, y'all, so I got a foob job.  If you've ever been fitted for a foob, you'll never forget it.  It's like bein' in a room with mannequin part foobs, and THEN you gots to try on foob brassieres with your foob and look at your chest like you never have before.  I can't imagine some of the other prosthetic items and the fitting sessions for them.  At times I think I'm curious, but on my good days, I know that I am not.  Only if I was going to work in the business of refitting parts would I want to know more about replacement fixtures.

You should not put off getting your mammograms because you hate the machine.  You should get your yearly mammograms because we ALL hate the machine.  Don't count yourself out of the sisterhood!  The earlier the detection, with you diligently doing exams and feeling out your body's health-o-meter (use your inner voice/instinct/gut, ladies), the sooner you can be given options, choices, and time to re-think what the color pink means to you.

Cancer has been the pink elephant in the room, and no one had been drinking.  The cure used to be to overload you with medication until either the treatment or the disease killed you along with other health ailments.  You don't want to know how many death certificates have cancer as a "secondary" or "third" cause of death.  Trust me, it was number one.  That darn treatment for cancer triggered the heart attack in my mother in 1988.  I haven't been to medical school, but when I fell off the turnip truck into town, I landed on my butt - not my head.  I got up, dusted myself off, and came right here to speak to you today.

You have to be aware!  You have to read.  You gotta study!  You have to be ready to fight in words, on paper, and for what is best for you.  Every day that we get up we take a "chance" that we will not see that pillow or bed again.  Something could happen that we do not foresee.  We take that bet - subconsciously or in denial, we take that bet.

Don't gamble on things that you can improve the odds upon by doing some homework.  You are worth it.  Yes, you are.

I'd show you my foob, but it's in my prosthetic brassiere in it's little protective cover.  If there are any celebrities in the audience, come backstage, and I might let you sign it with a permanent marker.  Most of my pre-mastectomy bras dont' safely hold a foob.  They need some additional sewing  ( a pocket kind of sleeve) to hold the foob securely.  It's best to buckle in your foob, then, there's less to worry about when you rock and roll, shake and shimmy, and take your beautiful act on the road.

God be with you, and may you be aware than He is.

-sessna1

Rachel_BC

Sessna wrote: "You should not put off getting your mammograms because you hate the machine.  You should get your yearly mammograms because we ALL hate the machine"

I think that's gonna be my new sig line.   

GramE

Anyone else tired of "lectures" from others?   IF you had done this, IF you had done that, IF you had NOT done this or that... I am 63 years old and "got cancer" at age 62.  How the heck can I remember what all I did or did not do.  Yes, I did monthly self exam and had mammograms from age 32 onwards, when I discovered my first (benign) lump.  I had biopsies, aspirations, and ultrasound.  My mom had bi lat mast back in 1962, so I was considered high risk. Knowing this, I feared each and every mammogram, but I did it.   

Don't put me into the category of only cancer patient, survivor, warrior. I am much, much more than that. I am a mother, a wife (widow), a sister, an aunt, a mom in law, a sis in law, a college graduate, a senior citizen, a bridge player, an excellent cook (when I feel like doing it), a registered voter, etc, and I am left handed.  Did any or all of these make me more likely to get BC?   Who knows.   What I DO know is I had it, I am treating for prevention and I sometimes want to discuss OTHER things.   

OK, that is my rant of the morning.  Here's to NO IOS today or this weekend.   Rain is coming again, but I will look for a rainbow when it stops.   Happy thoughts, smilies, and LOVE,   Nancy 

KAK

Fabulous rants, ladies.  ((((((((((Rachel))))))))))), ((((((((((((Sessna))))))))))), (((((((((((Saint))))))))))), ((((((((((Nancy))))))))))). 

I blog about this sort of thing a lot.  I have oft described cancer treatment as the "scorched-earth" approach, or the slash/burn/poison protocol.   I'm also really fond of how some surgeries are referred to as "breast-sparing."  If they were going to spare the breast, they wouldn't be doing surgery in the first place.  I went in for a lumpectomy, and the wire localization procedure was done so miserably, they made me pass out, then come to and throw up.  Then, my surgeon ended up removing about half of my right breast tissue, down to the chest wall.  Some lump!!  So, did I know this beforehand??  Oh, no.  Never got to talk about other options, nothing.  All last minute, occurred when I got to the hospital for surgery.  Day surgery, as it happens.  And they called this "breast-sparing surgery" because, why?  Because I got to keep my skin, which is now marked with divits & stuck to adhesions underneath, and I kept my nipple, which is puckered and scarred and tender??   Oh, yeah.  

I am alive to complain about it, and that's good.

KAK

Oh, and one of my artist friends has lung cancer & has to have a big hunk of his lung removed in a few weeks.

Poop.