Wishes for Slonedeb

1111214161770

Comments

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2008



    Lots of prayers said for you, Slonedeb, these last few days. I awaken and you cross my mind, so take a quiet moment to connect.



    May you be in limited pain, surrounded by caring people, and home as soon as safely possible.



    Tender

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    slonedeb: prayers for you this morning. i'm wondering how you're holding up and hope someone in the family can come in and make a report on your behalf.

    know that there are many united in praying for your strength.

    freedom from pain and fear -- that is my prayer for you today.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    faith my dear sweet sister i am home and the news isnt good at all there was cancer in the fluid in the lining of my brain i dont know if anything can be done but i am so scared all i am doing is shaking i dont wnt to leave my family faith  what am i going to do please give me spme advice tell everyone i love them  deb from ky

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    slone. my dear deb. that news is shell-shocking. of course you're shaking friend. the thought of leaving your family before you're ready is sad, discouraging, frustrating, overwhelming.

    know that i am not wise enough to have any insight into this suffering on your shoulders -- in your heart.

    know that i am just wise enough to encourage you to speak the words in your heart, to all who will listen. write letters to your grandchildren..... letters for their future. How about a birthday card box that they can open years from now and read of your great love for them. Imagine them growing into caring and capable adults.

    assure your loved ones of your trust in Jesus. He will carry you home when you are ready, when you've had enough and are ready to join our sisters already in heaven. i can only imagine what you and CTG will do when you're reunited.

    breathe deeply. take this news into your heart. and then move forward with the moments that you have available to make them meaningful.

    be as graceful in this coming chapter, as you've been in the previous

    you are an example to us all. share your fears here and your love with your loved ones.

    a sweet hug, deb.

    xx00xx00xx00xx

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    FAITH WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME I TRY TO LIVE RIGHT AND BE A GOOD PERSON I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND IAM AFRAID ILL LOOSE MY FAITH AND THAT SCARES ME  FAITH THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR KIN PRAYERS AND WORDS TELL TENDER AN BUG AND DEBC I LOVE THEM AND WILL NEVER FORGET THEM  DEB FROM KY

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    my sweet, deb. this is happening to you because you live on an imperfect planet, where things go wrong, where misery comes periodically despite all of our efforts to live a good life.

    my own faith believes that our Creator only wants the good for us.... only wanting goodness in our lives. i don't know why some prayers are seemingly answered and others languish with unresolved agonies. i don't know why their is injustice.

    in my little world, i would want to reward "good" people with all "good" outcomes..... yet we know this is not the way of this world.

    in my work, i see young children all the time with afflictions and handicaps for a lifetime and i struggle with the question "why???" obviously they've done nothing 'wrong' in their infancy to have this hardship visited upon them, for a lifetime. so i've long wrestled with the seeming unfairness that's all around.

    i don't want to sound callous, deb. now, more than ever is the time to reflect on what is and has been important. as you watch the sands fall thru the hourglass, you are now aware that there really, genuinely is a limit to your days.

    a long time ago i remember hearing a sermon that suggested we not dwell on "why" but on the question: "now what?" now that you know that the cancer is in your fluid, in your brain, what do you want to "DO" with these remaining days? while you are still capable -- what do you want to say to your family?

    i think just as soon as you can steer your brain away from the 'why' question -- there may be some measure of peace for you.

    we will always remember you deb. we treasure your friendship and will know that you're guiding us in our days to come, just as you have guided us to this point.

    my hugs.

    faith

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

  • kbugmom
    kbugmom Member Posts: 15,189
    edited June 2008

    Deb it was so good to talk to you this afternoon. Remember what I said. Do not give up till GOD says to. I am so proud you are my friend and I know how you love the LORD. Remember he loves us all and is always by our side. GOD bless.

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    bug it was so good to hear your voice guess who else called me steph from the boards she also has brain mets we talked for about 5 minutes you girls are great i dont feel as down as i did today bug i know the lord loves me but its hard to believe when you get this kind of news but i will fight on and try my best to get these brain mets stable if its possible god bless love deb from ky

  • sue_blue
    sue_blue Member Posts: 416
    edited June 2008

    Deb, I was really struggling with the "whys" of this disease, and still do, but I recently read a book by Randy Alcorn called Heaven that really gave me some perspective. I know you can get it in CD format also so you could just listen to it, or maybe you could read it together with some of your family. I truly believe it would be a comfort to all of you. I was so excited about some aspects of heaven after reading this book. I am so sorry it is this way for you, and know that you have been in my prayers for peace and healing.

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    slonedeb: i'm so glad that our dear kbug was able to speak directly into your heart -- offering you strength and support..... it takes all of us together

    'where two or more are gathered...........'

    we will continue to walk beside you, dear friend -- holding you up as we are able

    i'm asking for compassion to shine into your cells

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    hello my sweet prayer warriors i am sittting here fighting a really bad headache i have decided to go on with tx i dont know if it will help but ive turned it all oer to god and told him he could have it i didnt want it i am sitting tryin to get up enough nerve to start making my funeral plans and how to pay for it before i leave this world the funeral home is suppose to call me back about a payment plan i dont want to have to make my family go through the agony of making plans after i have died is this wrong for me to do this  well needed to vent a little  god bless and thanks for all your love and support   deb from ky

  • kbugmom
    kbugmom Member Posts: 15,189
    edited June 2008

    Deb our families need to know our wishes. My mom in law passed earlier this year and we only knew some of her wishes. I am so proud of you .I think about making my wishes known to my family and put it off. You are not wrong in this and vent as often as you need we are here for you. I send hugs prayers and love to you .GOD bless...

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    i completely agree with kbug, slonedeb..... i think you're taking an immensely responsible path -- and making what will be an eventual inevitability into an extreme act of kindness.... the act of a gracious, caring and giving individual.....

    whatever you can do to help your family.........

    i'm so glad that you've turned this all over to God. that's where it needs to be. as long as your doctors are able to learn about this disease from your willingness to let them explore further treatment -- you are advancing the understanding into this beast, for other women who will be following in your footsteps. slonedeb, that is an immense contribution, perhaps part of the role that you can play in the big picture..... God knows.

    I will pray that Jacky and the kids can all rally to support you in the time ahead.

    Go ahead and vent all ya want..... you certainly deserve it.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

  • DFW
    DFW Member Posts: 120
    edited June 2008

    Deb

    I have been reading back and catching up, I have been having isp problem's and unable to get online.

    Deb, hold tight to your faith, Jesus never leaves us, we are the ones that leave him. He didn't come to earth for physical problems but for spiritual ones. I know you are so scared right now, but think about the most beautiful place you have ever been to, it cannot compare to Heaven. Just the thought of being able to approach my Father in Heaven makes me homesick.

    Deb as you know I lost my Bob 30 months ago.  Bob and I had talked about this and we both decided to go with cremation, it is low cost compared to a traditional funeral especially if there is no showing or memorial and neither of us wanted that. Anyway, that is what Bob's final arrangements were. I said my "goodbye" to him the morning he died as I left for Florida that day at 6:30am. Five hours down the road I got the call to come  back home that Bob had passed, so our hugs and kisses that morning are my comfort.

    Like I said, each of us feel differently but cremation is an option and far less $$$$$$

    Doris_IN

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2008



    I looked around some at quotes on faith, and Richard Niebuhr's well known quote seemed to me to fit one of the best, so I hope you don't mind I post it below:



    “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

    Reinhold Niebuhr quotes (American theologian, 1892-1971)



    You already have said you've put yourself in Gods hands, so now you can put your energy into human deeds that may need your attention which only you might now best.



    I am proud of your courage Deb, of your faith, and of your willingness to share it with us.



    Tender

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    tender that is one of my favorite passages in the bible i just readit yesterday i read my bible when my eyesight will let me my eyesight has gotten so bad lately  tender i dont believe in cremation my brother was cremated and it still feels like he isnt gone i guess because i didnt get to see him  before he died by the time i got there the funeral home had already taken him away and by the time i got to the funeral home they had already sent him to another city to be cremated i miss him so bad we were only 13 months apart and they said he was asking for me right before he passed he has ben gone 2 and a half years he was my only brother tender i have decicded to try this chemo and if it works then maybe it will help someone down the road abd i will do anything to help someone else not have to go through what i am going through i watched my mother die of brain mets in 1994 and i wont go through what she did so ill try but when it starts getting bad i will quit and ask god to take me home thanks tender for being my friend thanks to all you women for being my friends  god bless all of you  deb from ky

    l

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    slonedeb: you are making a contribution to the understanding of this beast and it's being conquered in the future -- by your courage and willingness to be a guinea pig for your future sisters benefit.

    And yes. when you've had enough you & God together will decide when to leave us and head for Heaven and the great family reunion being planned already by your mom and brother. we're simple in our understanding and would like to keep you here with us for a long time to come, but you're the one to know when you've had enough.

    Keep your hope in your heart. Much has unfolded since you lost your own mom to this beast. Much has been learned. Much progress has been made. You are here because of the bravery of your own mom in her treatment..... there is progress.

    Praying for a cure. Praying for a cure. Praying for a cure.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

    faith

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    slonedeb: this thought just arrived in my inbox as the quote of the day.

    hope that you agree:

    I am convinced that the world is not a mere bog in which men and
    women trample themselves and die. Something magnificent is taking place here amidst the cruelties and tragedies, and the supreme challenge to intelligence is that of making the noblest and best in our curious heritage prevail.

    -- C.A. Beard

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2008



    You were awake early this morning, Deb, I see. Sometimes the peace of the morning sunrise, the cooler breeze which waves by our face prior to the heat of the day and the calm in the neighborhood is the best part of the day. Perhaps your gentleman neighbor will drop by this weekend and yarn you a fishing story.



    I'm sorry about your brother Deb. Thirteen months apart from one another is very close; like twins almost (some say Irish twins). Brothers can be the ones who stick up for you, help show you new adventures in life, and lend you a shoulder or big bear hug when needed. I'm sure his calling for you was his way of affirming his love for you Deb. Reviewing the good times he had with you. Cremation is not for everyone, and if it makes you feel like you will not rest, then it's a good reason to spell out that it's not what you desire. It's good you're able to make plans, deb. So often people cannot deal with the future.



    Faith said it well about how things have change in cancer treatment since the 1994. Very big changes, deb. It may be good to talk with your oncologist some about what you recall and fear over your mom's situation, so she may talk with you about how management is today.



    You're giving a lasting gift to fellow breast cancer patients with the new chemotherapy. Thank you, Deb, and my wish is you receive stability in return.



    Thinking of you and yours,

    Tender

  • Calif-Sherry
    Calif-Sherry Member Posts: 124
    edited June 2008

    Slonedeb, we may not be posting, but we're following your journey.  Not just me, but hundreds, of us are here with our hearts and prayers here for you.  And what great cyber friends you have.... Faith, you have touched me, too.  I'm going to stop asking why, but what now.  Thanks

  • faithandfifty
    faithandfifty Member Posts: 10,007
    edited June 2008

    My dear Slonedeb..... today we finish packing for our adventure. This time tomorrow we'll be winging our way to ARUBA!! I will be gone for an entire week. I will return to posting my thoughts and prayers for you next Sunday, if all goes according to plan.

    I feel like a fortunate fairy princess about to board a flying carpet. This is the first time in my life to get to go off to a tropical island and soak up the beauty. It's going to be so hard to leave these babies, but it will be a good lesson for all of us -- my daughter that she can manage, and myself to learn a bit more about boundaries. I'm so grateful to my hubby for dreaming up this second honeymoon for the two of us.

    As I walk along the beach I will be sending you healing energy. As I feel the ocean breeze I will be sending you peace. As I see the majestic sunset I will be sending you compassion. As I frolic in the waters I'll be sending you calm.

    Know that I care deeply about you and will ask the angels to watch over you till I "return." I will trust that your other dear friends will continue to pray and post their support here for you to 'see & feel.'

    Do all in your power to rise up against this beast, taking care of yourself, following the suggestions of those who know what may benefit you.

    When in doubt, softly hum:

    "Jesus loves me, this I know..... for the Bible tells me so.

    Little ones to him belong, they are weak, but he is strong.

    YES, Jesus loves me. YES, Jesus loves me. YES, Jesus loves me.

    The Bible tells me so."

    If you decide to leave for heaven, before I get back here -- please go knowing that you were the very first person in the chatroom here to speak of your faith-in-this-journey to me. Deb from KY you shone a light into that very dark place -- at that very dark time, for me, when I needed it. I will ALWAYS remember that. I will ALWAYS remember you. I will ALWAYS remember your faith. You have blessed me and I'm grateful for our friendship.

    xx00xx00xx00xx00xx00xx00xx00xx

    faith

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2008





    Wishing a peaceful night's sleep for you Slonedeb. I think of you often, and will continue to do so.



    Wishing Faith a wonderful trip to Aruba; may she bring a pocketful of blue ocean, white crystal sand, and cool breeze home to you and me both, deb.



    All my best,

    Tender

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    faith and tender tears are running down my face right now i love you girls so much you all  keep me going faith i hope i dont leave this old world this week but if i do goobye to you wonderful ladies and yes faith jesus does love me and you and tender well girs i am crying to hard to continue so goodnight and may god hold you in the palm of his hands and shower you with good helth and love    deb from ky   kbug are you alright faith have a safe trip and enjoy yourself while on those beaches

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2008



    Ah, Deb, I mist up for you too, when I sit back and realize all you've gone through these last months and how tough you've been at dueling with the beast. Thank you for your lovely words, deb, I don't think anyone has ever said anything quite so touching as you did above.



    Faithandfifty will be back before you know it, so me and the others will keep you company in the meantime. I think you're waiting to hear more from your oncologist as to her suggestion for treatment. I hope she gives her advise this week so you can consider and move forward as you wish.



    I hope you're not having pain, deb, headaches etc. I see your question about the size (the tumor is small on the imaging scan in the fluid) well, that sounds better than a large tumor anywhere so push for some response from your doctor.



    Take care tonight, deb, and may tomorrow bring us all a beautiful morning light.



    Tender

  • kbugmom
    kbugmom Member Posts: 15,189
    edited June 2008

    Deb my dear friend thinking only good thoughts for you. Close your eyes and think of all your blessings.We stand firm on GODs word by his stripes we were healed. Not maybe we were. Also laugh no matter laugh. A merry heart doeth good like a medicine. My step brother has been battling cancer for a long while and has out lived drs prognosis. But he is living as long as the good LORD planned for him. He is one to laugh at the stupidest stuff like the three stooges. It works for him. Hard at times to laugh but we need to. I am praying you are not having any pain . I love you my dear friend and bc has brought us together for a reason. Hang in there......

  • sam408
    sam408 Member Posts: 1,099
    edited June 2008

    Slonedeb, I'm just reading through all these posts and want to add my prayers and good wishes for you and your family. May God bring you comfort during these rough times.

    Big hugs

  • slonedeb
    slonedeb Member Posts: 562
    edited July 2008

    yes bug this stupid disease has brought me together with so many wonderful women like you tender faith sam shopmama and many others i really love all you ladies and thank you for being here for me bug i am trying to laugh its hard but i am trying i am up at this ungodly hour because i am so sick to my stomach i hope it isnt my liver shutting down i am afraid that is what it is so please bug keep praying that it is not my liver  god bless and my the good lord keep you in the palm of his hands   deb from ky

  • kbugmom
    kbugmom Member Posts: 15,189
    edited June 2008

    Deb I am sorry you are not feeling well. We all need to learn a big lesson that every pain or problem is not always the cancer.I have to learn that to. Watch a silly movie that will help. If you get a chance and feel up to it come into chat. Now that can make you laugh because someone always says something to make us lol. Remember claim your healing even when feel not so good. Deb I face tough days and I do my best to pick myself back up and start growing my faith again. Remember faith as big as a mustard seed. I know I know sometimes that seems big. So get out on the porch or sit in the yard and listen for the birds. The days getting out always make me feel so much better. You may have felt sick with the stress and all you have been under that may have been the problem. Or just being run down. I wish I lived close then I would come visit. But we are able to touch base here and that is good. So enjoy this day and all the many ones to come. I love you and GOD bless.....

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited June 2008



    Morning Deb,



    The heat finally broke here in the middle of the NE, so I'm hoping it has in Kentucky, and as Bug so wisely councils,you might get outside and smell of the new day if possible. I love to walk in my yard, which my DH has turned into a naturalist reserve, complete with tall grass for ticks, duh and small waterpond where he placed salamander eggs and toad eggs which are now little toads and salamanders. They eat the mosquitoes. Of course, I keep warning him there are bigger things that come by and eat them. Oh well, he's trying an experiment of nature.



    I hope you get to the chat room, maybe Friday, I hear it's a hoot. That sounds like fun too.



    Just wanted to drop by and say hello. All my best to you,

    Tender

  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited June 2008

    {{{Dearest Deb}}}  You probably don't know me, but I've kept you in my heart while I've read.  NEver felt I should I post, b/c we've never really talked before.  Just read your post and walked along your journey through them, praying for you all along.

    I hadn't realized that Faith was gone till today, so I'm offerning one more boost of good will and prayers in her absence.  You two and the others are such an overwhelming support for one another, I've not been able to post.  I just felt like I was stepping on something wonderful I knew nothing about.  Now I find I want to let you know that I've been keeping you in my thoughts and prayers these last few months and hope you are resting well and doing okay with these treatments.  I'm sorry you were ill this morning and hope that has resolved also?

    Deb, you are such a strong woman.  Sharing all your going through is more than I can understand.  You are teaching us all, whether we in this fight or others who are assisting someone going through it.  May your days be filled with peace dear Deb.   Very soon, Faith will return and with it, her wonderfully inspiring words and prayers to keep you.

    Thank you Deb.  For sharing your life, your journey, your thoughts and your fears.  You are a beautiful woman!

Categories