Lingerie on a first date?
Comments
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Marin!!
Your thinking about lingerie on a first date??
You go girl!
Traci -
Oh no, Traci, this is the all meaningful THIRD DATE actually! We met the first time a few weeks ago for lunch and a trip to Trader Joe's. He bought me chocolate-covered almonds and some yummy pecan mess. I almost fell in love right then & there. Then, last weekend, we spent a long Saturday evening in a sweet little coffeehouse/cafe/blues bar, listening to a terrific blues band (Sonny Maria Rolls...you can google her). Since then, we've emailed constantly, long, delicious emails. We have so much in common from a love for Indian food to a preference for blues and acoustic guitar to both having kids who attended the same college...in the arts. And if you read the MOJO thread, he's also the guy who shaves (and I don't mean his face
). Now there's another commonality! So I have the sexiest, sweetest black silk camisole from VS and lacy black tanga panties....whaddaya think? He is kind of basic, though, so maybe a pastel, cotton cami and matching panties..? I'm just packing these, mind you, and leaving them in my car. I'll be arriving for a walk in his woods and around the lake in my faded Lucky jeans and a winter white angora sweater. Very cozy and proper.
~Marin
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Oh right......It's this Saturday that is a first date!
Sorry girl, your hard to keep up with!!
He shaves???
Sounds like you have it all planned out. Jeez, I'm all excited and I'm not even going!
: ) Traci
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dang Marin......how can he resist!
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Marin the whole outfit sounds soooo hot.
I am there in spirit girl...
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Marin, I'm FASCINATED, absolutely fascinated. So it's the 3rd date and you're expecting something intimate? I was just remembering with my b/f that it was OUR 3rd date when we *ahem* you know...
What is it about 3rd dates?
Anyway, do what makes you feel sexy and strong and confident. I had misconceptions about my own b/f... he's a triathlete so therefore he likes "natural" women... but no, he likes women who are very girly! He loves the whole makeup-hair product-perfume-etc thing so I was wrong about that! Be who you are... whether it's the satiny VS thing or the earthy cottony thing... it's who YOU are that will ultimately attract him.
He he he I hate to say it but let us know!
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Hey Marin,
Can you wear the lacy VS under the comfy sweater and Lucky jeans? I like to have the surprise of the inside way different from the outside! Kind've like a real treat when they check underneath!!
Oh lordy ... poor Mr. Architect!! Have fun this weekend with both your dates!
Bren
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Marin your packing them both right, that way you'll have it fiquired out and can make the choice then. I did that once, wore the calmer one first time and after we got comfie I threw on the second outfit. Man I love beautiful lingerie'. Have a great time Marin. I'm going to have a weird weekend now. I have a friend popping in from Chicago, old fishing buddy, but gorgeous and my damn sister called and just invited herself to stay the weekend, no arguments, so my sex it out this weekend, shit. Oh well next weekend.Pearl49 And yes I know I should have told my sister no but she and I just started getting close again in May and she helped so much with my cancer and her dh and son are driving her nuts so I have to give up my weekend, but there are always others.
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Okay, bear with me here - I love the sound of both the black silk and the pastel little bits. What I want to know is what is it you are going to have under that soft angora and those snug jeans just in case that invigorating walk in his private woods leads an overwhelming desire to uhm, 'experience nature'? Or if your walk by the lake includes a secluded spot where he may have stashed a rolled up fleece spread, a bottle of wine, etc.
Those black silkies still packed back in the car may be relegated to the 4th date.
Looking forward to hearing how it all uhm, comes together!
Lisa
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OMG, we all sure do think alike....do you imagine, for one minute, that I haven't planned the lingerie under the faded jeans and angora sweater? I absolutely have! I have the sheerest, laciest nude bra and matching thong (with double side straps and tiny gold rings) to don underneath. And Brenda, I aadore what you said about the surprise of the inside being so way different from the outside because that is my signature style. I love to wear frilly feminine things with a chain or two or something leather or with one of my tattoos showing. Contrast, IMO, is so sexy!
Sooooooooooooo, I need to update y'all about Country Boy. I had tea with him last evening that turned into a fabulous dinner. He had really worked on accepting what I'd said about needing to date others and even my reference to physical attraction. He's still convinced that we're meant to be and, ya know what, what the hll do I know about what the future will bring....maybe we are meant to be?! Anyway, we communicate in the most intimate, fluid way and I had a great time with him. He invited me to a concert on 1/31 and I'm making him dinner next Sunday. He knows about Architect Guy (not the details, of course) and though he doesn't like it, he says he needs to trust fate that our being together might one day come about. He really is very, very sweet!
Date is on tonight with Cancer Widower. He just seems so nice & smart & very on-target with his advocacy work. I'm excited! It turns out that he's 5'11" so I'm going with the boots or the heels.
Gotta go make my cheesecake to bring to Architect Guy's tomorrow. Oh, BTW, I've already asked him if I should bring my toothbrush...in case the roads turn to black ice by evening
Pearl...I think that you should have done with your sister just what Carrie did when she met up with Big at her book signing in California and had to get Samantha out of the tub in order to get with Big....she just yelled "Please get out...I gotta get laid!!!!" But maybe next weekend...?
~Marin
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Oh Lisa...."coming together" indeed
! I certainly hope so!!!!!~Marin
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Marin, the first time I was "with" the first post cancer boyfriend I was in a nightgown- a very pretty silk one.
we had gone out a couple of times and nothing really happened...but the were definitely moving in that direction!
Then one night he surprised me by coming over unannounced and that is what I was wearing. Thank GOD I was wearing something pretty like that and not in sweats!
(Ok I will say it- it was a pretty sexy nighty and I must have been psychic when I put it on!
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Wait.......o.k. I thought CountryBoy (hereinafter referred to as CB) was wierd, mean, pshyco..whatever?? Did I miss some messages??
What happened last night? Are you even home yet??
Traci
ps So sad about CTG.... : (
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this is getting really interesting haha marin i love it!
i must be such a prude! i held out quite a few dates after the third
i guess becos being naked after my surgery and reconstruction even though it does look damn good was a big deal to me
now marin you are making me jealous ! i only have one guy
i forgot how much fun dating a few can be
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traci- when I got home from designing the ring, thats when I first heard about CTG. It was hard, b/c I was like, while I was doing something so happy, she was leaving us, but I felt eerily calm.
She thought my boyfriend was a great guy, and I know she would have been so excited for me. It was the first time since she's been so weak these last few weeks, that I wasn't overcome with tears and emotion, I just felt this sense of calm, b/c I knew she wasn't hurting anymore.
It is so sad, but what she always said, was that she didn't want people to be sad for her, she wanted them to celebrate her. I believe by living fully, that is the greatest way to honor her.
Scott (her husband) was such a driving force in her happiness. And it's time that you got yourself out there, and find the man that's going to bring that kind of joy to you.
When I read your posts, I can hear how nice, and cool you are. I can tell you have an amazing personality, and from your avatar you've got eyes that any man could get lost in.
I truly believe this is gonna be your year.
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Beth,
Your so sweet. Thank you!
I could have sworn that I posted yesterday that you owe us a story...... : )
Where the hell is Marin???
Happy Monday!
Traci
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Wondering how was Sunday, the weather here is absolutely freezing so just thinking about a walk in the woods, would be enought to make me happy. My weekend was fund with my sister and I'm so glad she came, she's giving up the lease on her vehicle so this was her last chance to come and have a PJ night. And we had a riot and it will work out because she has gone home and my friend is popping in today, so it all worked out (for a change). It's a miracle. Pearl49 Marin CG sounds so nice and I think the world of him for his patience it sort of shows you that he is understanding and willing to take risks and has confidence in himself, I like that. But how was AG and the woods, and ..... and on.Pearl49
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All I can say is that.... I just hope one day I will be able to wonder what lingerie I should wear!
Hugs,
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OK, my girlfriends, I just got home awhile ago and am sore and exhausted and very happily so! I was in bed (and in the shower and on the bathroom vanity and, well, you get the picture!) with awesome Architect Guy since yesterday afternoon and got maybe 2 hours of sleep. And I thought that "old guys" were only good for one, possibly two, go-arounds a night! NOT!!!! But let me go back, first, to Saturday evening with the Widower.
OK, he was absolutely the cutest guy....a tad shy and all sorts of chivalrous and very warm and calm. He seemed to be so well put together, in fact, that I started to think he had been widowed quite a long time ago. No.....7 months actually! His wife had been diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer (wasn't even a smoker) with brain mets in 2006 and lived only 9 months, dying last June. She apparently was amazing and he and his 2 sons (13 and 16 yrs old) have been getting very involved in fund-raising for research and in advocacy work since the beginning. So the date went extremely well and, in fact, we closed the restaurant. The owner even came over and said "You guys are having such a good time, aren't you?" It was true. We had alot to talk about and share. But that was it. I was his very first date since his wife died and they were married for 19 years! So he's kind of ready to get out and check out the scene, but nowhere near ready for anything romantic or intimate. We've agreed to stay in touch, though, and I offered to help him navigate the online dating waters. Very, very nice guy.
And now for....drum roll, please!.....the hot sleepover! Okay....left for AG's house on Sunday afternoon and got there early enough for a walk through his neighborhood along the lake (he lives in a gorgeous golf community...I even had to get a pass at the gate). We got back and set about preparing the rest of th meal he'd fixed....Mulligatawny Soup and Rice Pilaf. I brought the Naan and a spicy nut snack to munch on while we cooked. It was totally one of the best meals I've ever eaten...perfectly seasoned, etc. I had also made a marble cheesecake, but we were too full to eat that and, besides, I didn't wanted a bulge-y, full stomach for...ahem....later on (I KNOW you know what I mean!). Then we sat in front of the fireplace on a big, stuffed laether couch, under a blanket and listened to blues-like music (Bob Dylan, Billie Holiday) and talking and making out for quite awhile! Then the clock struck midnight and before I fainted from sheer physical longing, we finally ascended the stairs for bed. And I gotta tell y'all, as many times as I do maiden voyages (so to speak
), it never gets much easier. I was feeling pretty nervous and awkward and even a little shy. But I forged ahead and put on my jammies (in the bathroom of course) while he set up the CDs and lit candles, etc. And the rest is for your own fantasy and imagination. Suffice it to say that I do believe I have never really been made love to before last night. This man did amazing things to me in an exquisitely slow, liquid, passionate way that I'd never imagined possible. My body even twisted in odd ways that just seemed to naturally flow from our desires. At one point, he even said that he had no idea where he ended and I began. I really almost fainted then! We went through one after another slow dance like that that always ended with some relaese and pleasure, but a distinct desire for more. We rested here & there and even slept some and woke up for an encore over & over. As I said...it was amazing! In the morning, we took a shower and washed one another, had another go at it on the floor and then over the bathroom vanity, and then he made us pancakes. We then went down to a shop he has for one of his hobbies....rebuilding race cars/hot rods. It was very masculine and impressive. Now I'm home. I think I'll see him again, ya know?
~Marin
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Holy s*%!
I feel like I've just read part of a sexy romance novel!!
I'm blushing!!!!!
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WOO-HOO for Marin!
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Marin,
OMG!!! What an absolutely exciting date! Like I had posted yesterday...right now I am living vicariously through you
Denise
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No new exciting 'fun' for me lately but I have to say that plentyoffish is quite the site. Lots of guys there and they're really into IMing, which I'm not. I bet I'll get a date or two but it almost seems too good to be true that there are that many men out there just waiting to meet me. Now all I have to do is find the time to date them!
Until then we can all live vicariously through Marin!
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Marin, I swear to God, if I need to get horny for Matthew, I can read your posts about your dates, and I'm ready to go.
Where he ends, and you begin??> CAN WE SAY oh my god, even I love this guy?
I am so thrilled about your amazing time together.
As for widower, that is so great that you were the first person he went on a date with, b/c you probably made him feel so at ease, and comfortable. If anything, you'll be a good resource and friend for him, so that's awesome.
So when are you seeing architect again?
I love our names for your men. Its like grey's anatomy, Mc steamy, Mcdreamy....lol
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wow ! marin that guy sounds amazing hold onto him!!!!
you have to keep us tuned in ! this is better than my favorite soap opera that i dont have time to watch anymore since i am at work everyday ! I FEEL KIND OF BORING : ) better spice up my act so i keep my guy interested..........
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I went to dinner with the girls tonight, we do that once a month and there was a guy on a motorcycle that got my blood pumping...I wonder if he's on th fish site???
I actually even wore my none baggy jeans and a cool coat. But, I've got to tell you when they each walked up.....Victororia, Lisa, Laura, Heather, Tisa, Kathy...they all commented on how "great" my hair looked and when Marcy sat down and sad something I kind of had a breakdown....loudly....it sucked. I felt bad after but I am so sick of poeple telling me I look great when I look like spike!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry girls, one too many wines but I swear.....I wish people would just not comment on my hair and if they did I wish they would say something truthful like "gawd, you hair is so short!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I know...bad attitude...whatever. When I had beautiful hair, not 1/1millionith people commented. It makes me mad!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow...it was all about me for a second....sorry girls.
Hugs, Traci
ps Marin, I wish I new you in person.
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I meant to say...Marin, so some of your self confidence would rub off on me.
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WOW, Marin....I was having a hot flash there for awhile! I say, DEFINITELY hang with AG.
Traci, I knew how you feel. I hated my hair when it was just coming in. I still felt like it was chemo head. Have you gone in to get it shaped? Mine was a little over and inch and I went in to my regular stylist and said "make it so it's not so chemo-ish". She trimmed some of the soft, baby fine stuff off and then we colored it with a gentle color as it was the dull gray of pencil lead. OMG, I almost cried when I saw myself. Yes, it was still short. But it was a STYLE not chemohead.
Take care,
Bugs
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Ya know, Traci, I gotta tell ya....I certainly was not born with this self-confidence. Come to think of it, though, we are all born with perfect love for ourselves and complete self-confidence and it's our experiences and the negative messages we are barraged with by our significant others, as well as society, that damages us. So I see my cancer event as bringing the most unique opportunity for us to re-discover that self-love through the process of gentle, nurturing self-care. It has given us the chance to become the absolute focus of our own lives, to learn and, hopefully, appreciate our unique needs and even capabilities & strengths. Unfortunately, many of us (I include myself for sure) try to do it all, as woman tend to, and dilute the proper focus on just ourselves in order to please everyone. Then, once treatment is over, we wonder why we're so "post-traumatic" and depressed. Also, we come back to a society that values superficial evidence of individual worth and we don't think we measure up. Boobless, scarred, bald and misshaped, we face the memories of our former selves as well as the unscathed "beautiful people" around us and find ourselves just not measuring up. And we're supposed to have self-confidence? Uh-uh, doesn't happen....at least not without some severe hard work at staying focused on what makes US happy and what makes us totally awesome, despite all environmental messages to dissuade us.
Get a great wig or a great makeover or go tanning, join a gym, pamper your skin, learn to meditate, seek kind counseling, get a few meaningful or funky tattoos or piercings (my fave), some over-the-top sexy lingerie that hides what we choose to hide and highlights what we value.....whatever it takes to gradually lift ourselves out from under the garbage that society feeds us and wants us to digest and, surely, we'll once again feel like a BABE, a prize that ANY MAN should be honored to hook-up with.
This is not easy work, because the odds are against us, but after cancer we do indeed have the strength to say "F*CK YOU!" to society and set about making the rest of our lives full of all of the good things that we absolutely deserve! So, let's get started, y'all!!!
~Marin
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Traci- I HEAR YA LOUD AND CLEAR GIRL!!!
I swear, if ONE more person, said something about how I "had the face for short hair" I wanted to KILL THEM. No, choke them first, then watch them die slowly. But, these were my friends, and I don't know where I would hide all of their bodies....I digress.
This is why I divide my friends into cancer friends, and non cancer friends. The non cancer friends, actually think by saying things like, you look so good with your short spiky hair, or, It must be so fun to style your hair like that, or WOW, I bet it only takes ten minutes to do your hair...okay you get the point... they think they are helping, or saying somethin nice, b/c they don't know what to say.
Everything is such a loaded question.
I get angry when my non cancer friends ask how my appt was at the oncologist. I mean, how the f*ck do they think it was? What do they know about what it's like to do the routine, go to the lab, pray for a vein, watch people file into the treatment room, while you sit and wait for your oncologist for over an hour, getting more anxious with every passing minute.
They know nothing.
So I've learned to try to brush off their dumb comments. Because I truly do love my girlfriends. And it's good that you guys get together and go out once a month, b/c that's what you need right now.
You're going to have emotional outbursts and breakdowns from time to time. SO the hell what? How many times has one of my non cancer friends called me hysterical crying over a bad dye job, or haircut, and her life is ruined b/c of it? lol...
So don't sweat the emotions your having on the inside. TOTALLY NORMAL. (and you thought you weren't normal?)
As far as this self confidence thing, I think if you stick with us gals over here a lil longer, we'll get you in great shape.
If you don't love yourself the best, no one else will. And even beyond that--I'm convinced no one can love me as good as I can.
I'm soooooooooooo worth it.
You are too.
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