please help

geebung

Nancy, good luck at the onc appointment. I hope he is switched on and has a supportive and kind manner.

Hugs,

Jane 

lvtwoqlt

Penelope is considered a large breed but she is so short height. She is now about 7 yrs old and getting very white on her ears. She is not a very active dog. I always put her on a leash because the breed does have a tendancy to roam if they get a scent. She had been raised as a house dog before we got her. The lady we got her from called the number on the tag and the original owner had raised her from a pup but was unable to take care of her any more and given her to another family close to the lady we got her from. She said that the family she was given to, moved away and left her alone. She has been a great addition to my family. Jane I will give her a hug and an extra treat from you. If I was getting another dog, I would check out the animal shelters, my friend works at the local one and she says that some really great animals are dropped off and waiting for a forever home.

Sheila

sueps

Jules!!! I have gained so much from this site ..cybermum big sister Aunt E Ub ..laods a sisters a net nanny and now I am going to get a cyberdog !!! LOLOL...OH MY.... how is Brewster today...I wish he wound throw himself in my lap...lol....they make me laugh when they do this...AE had a really good pic...of her dog doing this LOLLOL

I hope you are having a lovely day at work xxx

Sheila ...You and Penelope have such a big bond!! I love hearing about her beauty trips!!! She's a real ladeeeee  XXX

I so want a dog !!!!!  One day!!!!!  Jane you will adore a dog in that area full of good walks...You new house sounds idyilic ..... wont you miss your ...oh god ...next door animals ...what where they....I know what they where but the chemo oh ladies its so affecting my mempry and my word and spelling ...Jane help me out...cos I have cockroaches on the tip of my tongue!!!! No not literally...or were they pigs 

HELP ME SISTERS  IS THIS MEMEORY A PERMANTENT THING!!!

I am feeling really irritated and bad tempered for the first time ever with chemo....I can see flashing lights and I am hallucinating..I am back at work in a day...FRICKING HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE lol

I am sick as a dog...again ...

Ok let me get my head together...I have spent the whole day spring cleaning...   to this room to that room to this room upstairs down stairs ...bathroom toilet ...STREODS  I mean steroids.

Get lost bootface

I LOVE YOU ALL ...

Oh and I have menopauuuuussssssssssssssee did I tell ya !!!

Oh yeah and nasty big nurse shoved the cannula in sharp yday and I was in tears...ahe kept tugging on it during tx and I swear my vein was ripping...she was getting crosss and threatening to take it out and shove it somewhere in another vein...oh god did I SWEAR...SWEAR SWEAR SWEAR

Oh on the bright side if it its they have awarded my disability benefit ...I can have it on top of my salary ..dont know how much til tomws mail..but I promised my dad I would sit down and accept his help remember...but what have I actually been doing for 8 days!!! Where am I ....lol

pardon my spelling sisters ...it is not me it is her xxx

geebung

Sheila, I always check out the latest dogs and cats on the net at the local animal shelter. I have always started off with puppies and kittens but this time, I think I would like a slightly older dog so I don't have to go through that rather difficult (though very cute!) puppy stage. Also, I would love to rescue a dog from death row.

Sue - how are you my love? I've been praying that you will have strength to prevail over this latest treatment. Big hugs to you, you gorgeous girl.

Ulla, we would all love to hear from you - are you ok? Big loves to you too.

Love to all my beautiful sisters here.

Hugs,

gb 

sueps

AND I AM ON THE VERGE OF A BIG CRY....IT IS TOO MUCH ...WAY TOO MUCH ...SO BAD ...SO SAD..SO CROSS... SO ILL ...SO LOST ..SO OLD .... SO SORE...SO OVER THE EDGE...SO LONELY INSIDE ... SO CHEMO DRUGGED AND SO NOT WITH IT

sueps

Jane xxxx it is so nice to see you online at the same time ..what time is it in Aussie Land...it is 907pm here xxx

geebung

Sue - we were posting at the same time! So sorry you are feeling so horrible. How quickly this week has gone! I wish you had month off. I am so glad you disability payment will be through soon. I hope you get the maximum amount. I am thrilled that you have decided to let your dear dad help you (what a precious man he is!). Could you continue to work but have more days off? That would be a good compromise - you would have the distraction of work but, if you wake up feeling like a dog's dinner, you could take the day off? Would that be possible?

xxx 

geebung

It's almost 8.15 am Sue. Poor darling - maybe a good cry would help. I wish I was there to hug you and dry your tears. (((((())))))

xxxxxx 

sueps

Yes Jane thats what I want to do ...xxx you are so good at thinking...I want to have the pressure off financially if Tom decides not to pay me sick...he has been over payimg me at the moment ...dont know why...but he owes me loads of bonuses..so I am not gonna ask. But that is what I want to do...I need distraction I need to burn of the energy XXXbut I need to crash more before I burn out...

I dont want to die ... I dont want to live ....I dont know what to do...this chemo is melting me up and I am ANGRY ANGRY ANGRY

and sad and lost ....and in a dark dark place

SORRY.... IT HAS BEEN SO HARSH ...AND SO AGGRESSIVE

sueps

What were the animals you have next door Jane ...rooster and bulldogs ..oh god lol I know they werent bulldogs lololol what were they..

Good morning to you xxxx

geebung

Tom has been overpaying you?! Well, so he should be! He should be doubling every pay! Perhaps the voodoo made him feel guilty...

geebung

Oh - the animals next door! Well, the roosters have disappeared - maybe they  ate them! She told me once that there are so many dead animals buried in their back yard that she wouldn't know where to dig to bury another one! Poor dear creatures. I have repeatedly rung the RSPCA and they have done nothing as far as I know. Perhaps they rescued the roosters? They still have about 6 dogs and huge numbers of cats. Yes - you were spot on about cockroaches - I have to bomb my house regularly to keep them at bay and don't start me on the rats!! I often have to put half-eaten rats in my garbage bin - legacy of the cats' midnight dining! You will understand that I can't wait to get away from here. It's quite a nice suburb but the whole area knows about my neighbours! A girl was coming by to visit my son knew where to come because of the distictive "landmark" of next door!! They also have a small horse and numerous other creatures but most of them die or disappear.

sueps

Gosh Jane what abismal animal owners....!!!!!

I hate animal cruelty ...why the hell do people like that have to get animals and not be compos mentis with the care of them....xxx

TOM has over payed me last two pays.....he owes me some bonuses ...I hope I am able to call in sick with disability ben...I am so not up to going and I so dont like all this time to myself...so I am pretty damn lost and decapitated ..or is it incapcitated ..oh god ...my ed my ed xxx

portiasproudmom

Here's something I thought I'd share with you all because you are my sisters in all the important ways.

Sisters

A young wife sat on a sofa on a hot humid day,

drinking iced tea and visiting with her Mother. As

they talked about life, about marriage, about the

responsibilities of life and the obligations of

adulthood, the mother clinked the ice cubes in her

glass thoughtfully and turned a clear, sober glance

upon her daughter.

'Don't forget your Sisters,' she advised, swirling

the tea leaves to the bottom of her glass. 'They'll

be more important as you get older. No matter how

much you love your husband, no matter how much you

love the children you may have, you are still going

to need Sisters. Remember to go places with them now

and then; do things with them.'

'Remember that 'Sisters' means ALL the women...

your girlfriends, your daughters, and all your other

women relatives too. 'You'll need other women. Women

always do.'

What a funny piece of advice!' the young woman

thought. Haven't I just gotten married?

Haven't I just joined the couple-world? I'm now a

married woman, for goodness sake! A grownup! Surely

my husband and the family we may start will be all I

need to make my life worthwhile!'

But she listened to her Mother. She kept contact

with her Sisters and made more women friends each

year. As the years tumbled by, one after another,

she gradually came to understand that her Mom really

knew what she was talking about. As time and nature

work their changes and their mysteries upon a woman,

Sisters are the mainstays of her life.

After more than 50 years of living in this world,

here is what I've learned:

THIS SAYS IT ALL:

Time passes.

Life happens.

Distance separates.

Children grow up...

Jobs come and go.

Love waxes and wanes.

Men don't do what they're supposed to do.

Hearts break.

Parents die.

Colleagues forget favors.

Careers end.

BUT........

Sisters are there, no matter how much time and how

many miles are

between you. A girl friend is never farther away

than needing her can reach.

When you have to walk that lonesome valley and you

have to walk it by yourself, the women in your life

will be on the valley's rim, cheering you on,

praying for you, pulling for you, intervening on

your behalf, and waiting with open arms at the

valley's end.

Sometimes, they will even break the rules and walk

beside you...Or come in and carry you out.

Girlfriends, daughters, granddaughters,

daughters-in-law, sisters, sisters-in-law, Mothers,

Grandmothers, aunties, nieces, cousins, and extended

family, all bless our life!

The world wouldn't be the same without women, and

neither would I. When we began this adventure called

womanhood, we had no idea of the incredible joys or

sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we

would need each other.

Every day, we need each other still. Pass this on

to all the women who help make your life meaningful.

I just did.

Hugs,

Karen

 

---

geebung

That's so beautiful and true, Karen! Thank you for posting it.

honeygirl

Hi Sue! Sorry you're feeling horrible. ROTTEN BOOTFACE! But Sue we are counting them down with you. Remember , you are down to one hand ! You are gonna make it! I'm so glad you got your disability. And your dad is gonna help. You take time off work if you need it. No one in there right mind would hold that against you. You have been through so much Sue. Listen to your body. If it says , " I don't want to go to work  , I'm tired , sick and I don't want to fricken go!" Listen to it. I love you Sue.xxxx How is Zippy doing today? Maybe he needs a yogurt lid.

Oh Sheila , I had tears in my eyes thinking of how that family left poor Penelope! I don't know how people can just up and move , leaving their pets behind. So sad. But I'm so glad she found a very loving and caring family in you. Treasures in heaven for you Sheila.xxxx

Jane , who in the world lives next door to you!?! Gosh , how creepy. Reminds me of "The hills have Eyes" people! I hope you get to move real soon. My best friend had some awful neighbors. Their yard looked like a junk yard and they fought all the time. They finally had to move. Thank goodness. Its very stressful and makes you not want to go outside at all. Will you have neighbors close by in the mountains? If so , I hope they are normal!lol xxxxx

Ulla , Mia , Lisa , Wren , where are you ladies? Please stop by and say hey when you can. We miss you. Lisa , you need to let us know you are OK. I know you are feeling down , but please stop by and just say hi. Love you honey.xxxxx

Hi Jule , didyougetlibbyyetdidyougetlibbyyetdidyougetlibbyyet??? No pressure!xxxx Mel

portiasproudmom

Hi Jane!  It really is true, isn't it?  Sometimes I think that good girlfriends are more like sisters than your actual biological siblings.  Look at Sue--her sis is a piece of work!  I would LOVE to have a sister like Sue.  She is such a sweetheart.  All of you are!

I just caught up on the posts from today.  I can't believe those neighbors of yours.  I'd be in tears all the time just thinking about the negligence and abuse.  How can people sleep at night knowing that their animals are suffering or that they've inflicted harm on poor, defenseless animals?  Horrible!!!

Sue, I'm sorry you're feeling so poorly again.  I hope you can get disability benefits.  Working full time during this very aggressive chemo is just too much for you!

Sheila, I loved your story about how you ended up with Penelope.  She's so cute!  My son calls her breed "basket" hounds.  Did those people just leave her in the home when they moved?  Why didn't they find her a home if they couldn't take her with them?  That's so sad.  Poor Penelope.  She must have felt totally abandoned.

I'm thinking about Ulla and Lisa and hoping they're doing okay.  Please check in girls.

Hugs to all,

Karen

honeygirl

Aw , Karen thank you sister. I love it.xxxx

sueps

HA HA HA  Melody ...lol....yey five to go ...can't wait til its two fingers!!! I love your pics....and you just reminded me of that film Amytville horror...but I cnat remember what it was about!!! A family moving to a house of horrors with a bunch load of spiders...

xxxxxx I am not with it tonight...iy is the first day after chemo I havent worked ..so maybe that is why xxx

Yes LISA  LISA .....please come and say hello xxx ...tell us your fears....we love you..tell us how you are doing...what can we do to lift you...xxxx WE LOVE YOU LISA...I just been telling my David you work in an airport...hows the weather now...we all need some of them rays ...we really do ...everyone is feeling humph in the UK...it is so miserable and tiring for everyone....it is Easter next week and the weather is bad...can you believe it the boys are off school AGAIN for the next two weeks!!!!!

holeedaysss yahoo LOL  xxx

sueps

Karen xxx I love you...I am going to print that out and put it in my work folder..do you know ..I miss you all when I am at work ...and it makes me sad....

I would give my right arm to be near you all....5 chemos to go....21 rads...and then I really need to put a plan in...xxx

xxxx

portiasproudmom

I just re-read your post, Sue.  It's for certain that you'll be getting disability?  That's wonderful!!!  Sorry, I thought it was still up in the air.  See, you're not the only one who still has chemo brain!!!

Regarding your dear dad, I'm glad you're accepting his help.  My mom was telling me the other day that she's so happy that I still need her help.  If I didn't, she said, she'd feel totally useless.  They really do enjoy helping us.

Love and hugs,

Karen

Wren

Karen. that was beautiful. I have tears. So much heart and emotion, so much truth.

I am so glad we have 'sisters' here. I wouldn't make it.

I also have two birth sisters and one daughter--and I am still lucky enough that my mother is alive. I would be lost without them too.

I have friends and former colleagues and neighbors and I am grateful that any of them have supported me so much.

I wish there was something I could do for all these people to let them know how much I appreciate them.

I am going to copy this and send it to my mom, daughter, and sisters though. Thank you.

Sue, I am so sorry your mouth hurts again and that the steroids have made you so wound up again. You are such a trooper! Thank you for sharing your rant here too when you were sreaming at bootface.  I am so glad you put a holler in there for me too.  I need to rant more sometimes... only I'm not so good at it... "darn bootface, I hate it" That's my rant... LOL, you do it so much better. Please rant away. I love how you do it... and I'm glad you were cussing when that mean nurse was poking and pulling at you--what a nasty nurse... you'd think they'd have training to be kinder...

Ulla, where are you??? 

Everyone else--I read your posts every day but seriously, by the time I am ready to post my mind is mixed up and I can't remember it all... I'd have to take notes! LOL... I didn't have chemo, but I think all the meds I take for pain and muscles do affect my memory--that and the mixed up sleep...

I am dreaming.... I would love a personal assistant right now--or just a buddy with free time to come sit with me and help me with some boring chores, like spring cleaning or organizing my closet...

I would love to shop for new clothes but my body is still changing so much from this that I dare not... I have no idea what my finished boobies will be like so I am just trying to make do with what I have. Plus, I'd be too tired to shop much... however, my mom did buy me some cute Ked's sneakers (all patchwork print in spring colors) and I got a new tote bag for spring so I'm not complaining, just missing my old body a bit. Darn bootface. I gained weight so I know none of my spring pants will fit either--I think I will live in stretch pants or skirts until I get the weight off...

Well, I had a great lymphedema massage yesterday by my new physical therapist and she helped stretch a muscle in my left armpt that has been really painful so I am feeling better. She did myofascial (sp?) release... ahhh... I get to go weekly or twice weekly if I want. The good news is she thinks once my reconstruction is done and all the cutting/stretching is done on my chest that the mild lymphedema will go away! Yay! My left arm is only a cm larger than the right so that is good news. Thank God!

Tomorrow I see the dentist for a toothache--why is it that bootface seems to make our teeth weak? I have had no cavities for years and years and now I have a zinger up there hurting...

OK, I've rambled enough.  I love you all sisters... You are in my thoughts and prayers.

~Wren

sueps

I became  a six month bc survivor yesterday is this right girls....I had a biopsy and I knew ...a week later I got the results and its seems like yday xxx

Where is my aunty EM ...ub has treatment tomorrow xxx (((UB AND AE)))  We love you xxx

honeygirl

Sue , the pics is of all of us after you get done with tx and we have our get-together! I think we were at the beautiful beach all day and now we are going out for drinks , dinner and lots of laughs! Always Believe...

honeygirl

I'm the one in the green with the big butt!lololol

portiasproudmom

Hi Wren!  It's good to see you here.  I know what you mean about the weight gain.  I'm afraid to try on any of my spring and summer clothes.  I've been wearing mainly loose fitting clothes and sweats lately.  I refuse to buy a new wardrobe.  It may take a while, but I'm determined to get back to my pre-bc weight!

Hugs,

Karen

sueps

Oh Melody...I feel like I have known you all for longer than six months...that pic is us all joined together by a journet that has changed us and brought out the best in us.... have you noticed xxxwe are genuinely happy ladeesss regardless xxx

         

Can you see the loveheart on the water..that is for you all xxx

sueps

I will vocalise a rant at boot face for you any time wren...I will do a special one for you  in my car going to work on Friday xxxxx

portiasproudmom

I love the heart on the water!

I can't wait for us all to meet.  We have to do it!  It really does feel like we've known eachother for longer than six months, doesn't it? 

Where is Auntie Em today?  I hope she and UB are okay.

geebung

((((((((((Lisa)))))))))) - I am thinking of you and sending you huge, gentle hugs and lots of love. Please come and rant to us - if you feel like it. If you don't feel like it, just know that we love you and care about you.

Wren - I can really relate to how you are feeling. I didn't have chemo either but I have put on weight. My mastectomy sent me into instant menopause (well probably more like perimenopause) and, even though I have been going to the gym I can't seem to lose it. I think I have been a bit depressed on and off since dx as I have no 'get up and go' and have to really force myself to clean the house (last time I did some serious cleaning, it sent my le into an acute phase & am still trying to get the swelling down!). There is so much to be done before I can move...where to begin? We should try to give each other incentives to achieve a certain amount each day! I wish I could come to your place and help you - I find cleaning other people's houses so much easier than cleaning mine! My boys have left a lot of their stuff here so I am just going to put it all in one room for them to sort out.

Sue - 6 months already! That is the first of many milestones. Pretty soon it will be a year and then two years and beyond! I loved Mel's pic of the hand - how great to be able to count those tx down on one hand - still very hard for you but you are whittling them away. The rads will make you tired but it should be a lot easier.