Making do with less

bluewillow

Shokk, Yes, I can relate to everything you said about going too far the other way. And I often wonder about what our ancestors did and if they had clutter problems, and I realize that they probably didn't because there just wasn't that much stuff manufactured "way back then"! What do you think?

When I was a kid, I also remember going to friends' homes and not being allowed to touch anything and we had to sit on one certain sofa, be only in the den, etc., but I also vividly remember going to a friend's house (which was definitely "lived in") for a birthday party and she let her poodle lick the ice cream bowls before putting them into the dishwasher, and I had lots more fun in her house than anyone else's!

I have two aunts-- one with a Better Homes & Gardens type home, and the other with one that makes mine look like a  BH&G home (yep, that bad!),and I can tell you which house all my cousins ganged up at and played at the most when we were kids... the messy one!  

MJ 

paige-allyson

Mary Jo-

I can totally relate to the house clutter issue and to regrets over some other choices as well. I never quite made the grade as far as my life reflecting certain values that were truly important to me. I know that there are ways in which I've disappointed other people and myself- we've all done this. Still, what good is regret going to do? I have adult kids like you and I know from talking with them that there are things that they care about way more than my housekeeping abilities. I definitely don't want to be memorialized (regardless of what I die from) with people saying "She kept a really tidy house." I'd rather be remembered for being kind and for loving them unconditionally. That said, I'm really into having a clean house and I am glad to be learning new habits that allow me to pull this off. My advice is to focus the energy on what you can give your kids now, grown as they are. This life is way to precious to spend on beating yourself up. Now let's go throw some stuff away!!!!

Sending the antidote to guilt your way. Allyson

badboob67

I haven't posted on this thread for quite a while, but just had to brag about my recent progress. When my boys were home from school for Christmas vacation, we tackled the "game room" that had become the junk room filled from floor to ceiling. We filled several boxes for the Salvation Army and my oldest son drove them over for donation.

I have made great dents in my bedroom and kitchen. It feels so good! At Christmas our boys each got fewer than 5 gifts total from us and grandparents. It is so nice to be able to see the floors again and not have to step over the junk!

My house has been a disaster since my dx, but my boys tell me it's super-tidy compared to their friends homes. I find that hard to believe, but am glad to hear it!

(((HUGS)))
Diane

iodine

Bluewillow, about not keeping a neat home: do you think your kids would rather have had you or a neat home?

When I was cleaning one Sat 30 years ago, and had loads of wash going, my dh wanted to go do something fun.  Well, we saw little of him since he worked 7am to 8pm, including most weekends.  I said I had to clean---it sounded really lame to me and I decided right then and there, family would come first.

We were at a party, in a nice home, of a female state congress rep.  I went to the potty and on the bathroom door was a huge hand print.  I also decided that I wanted to be that sure of MYSELF that I would care more about visiting with my friends than worrying about how my house looked.

I don't think kids remember much from one day to the next about stuff like that.  What they DO remember is how many hugs they got and who listened to them when they needed to talk about a rough day they had.

"Boring women have clean houses" (notice, I didn't say HOMES)

I'm all for decluttering, esp. since I Hate to dust.  But my bathroom and kitchen are clean and that's my most important objective.

All the rest is just extra.

For Christmas, I gave my dd a cleaning lady once a month.  Thought she'd enjoy comming home from work to a nice clean house at least once in a while.  You might consider giving youself the same gift.

I was always too ashamed of my homemaker skills to ask for help, but then I got to working so many hours I had to have help.

It was a lifesaver, besides I couldn't afford to pay myself as much as I was making at work, to clean house.  I hope that doesn't sound snooty, but I really needed the time with my kids and dh and the vaccuming just wasn't that important to me.

paige-allyson

Diane- congratulations on your de-junking progress and also on the moderate Christmas gifting with your boys. We cut back on Christmas too. It turned out to be one of the best gifts that we could give to ourselves and to others- no stress, no overspending, less mess, more time to enjoy just being together, it was great.

Iodine- I hear you re: the cleaning lady issue. Part of the reason things were a mess before my dx was that I sometimes worked 12 hour days and genuinely didn't have time to keep up. My mom arranged for me to have someone come weekly during my chemo and rads- it totally saved us.

Fitztwins

Hi Ladies, I have been absent from this thread for a while, but it is still near and dear to my heart.  Over the past three months I have given away a ton of stuff to Goodwill.

this past summer I went through all of my dishes, kitchen gadgets, pots and pans, storage containers and got rid of everything I never use or haven't used in a year.

I weed out my closet 2-3 times a year..

They say if you put stuff in a box and don't see it for a year, get rid of it.

I don't keep many books..or magazines. I give them away to reuse.

I have been know to get of stuff too soon!

My mom thinks I over do it.

My last conquest? I went thru all of my holiday decorations and weeded out the stuff I didn't like anymore..gave it away!

J

abbadoodles

Mary Jo, you are funny.  Answer the door or not?  HeeHee.  Gee, didn't you learn to keep the "first room" neat?  Then, not let anyone past that?

Re: guilt.  No point to feeling guilty.  Just move on.  Guilt does not change the past but you do have control over your future actions.  If a neat home is important to you, you will find ways to keep it that way.  You CAN do it, but don't get bogged down with the past!

Tina

pconn03

Hi Ladies:

I haven't posted for awhile either but am still "fighting the good fight."  I think a little each day is the best way to go and now that the New Year is here, I'm even more ready to move forward.  I'm tackling the basement right now and we have metal shelves down there that are holding gobs of "stuff."  So much stuff that the shelves are "bowed" and held together with bungy cords - so my next project is to get rid of as much of that "stuff" as I can and then hire a handy man to put up new shelves for me.  My hubby could do it but he works hard and is very busy so the handy man is the way to go for me.  Any ideas out there on good type of storage shelves??

Thanks,

Pat

bluewillow

Good Saturday afternoon, ladies!

Hey everyone, guess where I went early this morning?  To Goodwill......to SHOP!!    I found two very nice corduroy shirts that I can really use in this cold weather... and then I promptly came back home and started in on my de-cluttering project!

You all have helped me so much!  I have really enjoyed your advice to let go of the guilt-- yes, I will definitely work on that.  I truly have been very busy today cleaning and putting stuff in boxes labeled "Goodwill", so I'm actually making progress and it feels great!  I am going to do this, because it is very important to my mental state right now.  In looking back, I suppose a clean house wasn't that important, or I would have found some way to accomplish it.  I know that my two kids and I "loafered" a lot when we should have been cleaning, and I'm just hoping they will always remember and appreciate the fun we had in doing so...  One more thing I want to add: both my daughter (she's 27) and my son (he's 25) married neat/clean freaks!  My son-in-law helps my daughter w/the housework on a regular basis, does laundry etc., and their house is always spotless.  My daughter-in-law is almost obsessive with their cleanliness and my son helps her out too.  So, maybe there is some good that came from my messiness:  their goals to be neat-niks!  My son and his wife have no kids, and my daughter and SIL are expecting their first this month... and things may soon change in the Clean Department!

Thanks again and take care, everyone, and I look forward to reading more on this wonderful thread!

Mary Jo

livesstrong

Hi Ladies,

I see things have been quite busy around here, that's great. 

Well, last week I went an bought an armoire to replace my huge entertainment center.  The only problem is I still have the old one!!!  Now I have 2 pieces in my living room!!  I couldn't pass on the armoire, it was a great deal and I all ready put the old one on craiglists and have an offer on it.  NOW the problem is - what to do with all the stuff in the old one.   It was the kind that held a record player and cd player and VHS tapes. Oh yea, and all my old albums!!  I found a guy on freecycle that takes albums, maybe he'll take the record player as well. I wanted the smaller armoire so I could get rid of all this junk - I sure hope it works!!! 

 Good news - DH is going to help me go thru his books next weekend!!! YIPPEE!!  Hope he keeps his word!!

Well ladies, keep on keepin on...........

Valerie 

paige-allyson

Mary Jo - excellent re: the Goodwill boxes! I'm not there yet but my sink is clean and the downstairs is picked up except for one scary room. Sounds like you put the guilt in a box too. I'm sure you won't miss it! My kids (25, 29) are almost the same ages as yours- we loafed a lot too and I think it was good for us. We sure did read a lot and take a lot of walks. My daughter has grown up to be very neat and I've been inspired to follow in her footsteps. My son is becoming neat after years of being quite possibly the messiest boy in the world. Allyson

livesstrong

Well ladies you would be proud of me  - I clean the top shelf in my bedropm closet this weekend that housed all my paperwork from last year. You know, receipts, credit card stuff, any kinda paper that I figured I'd just have to keep. I wound up with 3 plastic bags full!!!   I managed to shred a bags worth and threw a bags worth out.  I got so tired I couldn't finish the last one!!!  But I'm getting there- I can see the shelf now!!!  YIPPEE!!

Valerie 

livesstrong

bumping up!!

paige-allyson

Our bedroom is now the neatest it has even been and I've been keeping it up- ditto the kitchen and bathroom. The progress has been slow but steady. My husband has gotten on board. I was tired last night after teaching my class and he did the dishes and shined the sink- said the flylady told him he should- excellent!

The paper piles are slowly shrinking. A few drawers that were disasters now are not. Allyson

juanita63

Those of you who have grandchildren, what do you do with toys and clothes they have for use at your house?  I've got a toy box and a dresser.  Went through the toy box today and got rid of 2 big trash bags.

snowyday

Blue Willow:  Shawnee is good and expensive stuff, before you sell check out Rubylane.com its a bunch of Istores but good quality, don't sell on ebay it's the equivalent of a garage sale everyone wants quality for nothing. The reason I said Rubylane is you can get an idea of what its worth on that site and then maybe offer it to a seller there. I love Rubylane, I collect good pottery, bakelite and Early American Pressed Glass and old Purses, jeeze when I think about I collect alot, vintage jewelry and beads have been a favorite for years and I've got a bakelite necklace and bracelet my sister said the she saw for sale for over 3k but I can't part with it, I love it to much and want to give to one of my sons.  So I hope you check it out RL, and make your decision from there.  I'm also using alot of my collectibles on a daily basis, and I can't believe how nice it is using it. And I finally fiquired out I deserve it. OH cookie jars are the most expensive items for sale so be careful when selling. You can get a really good price for Shawnee. Pearl49

abbadoodles

Is it allowable to have a SWAP thread on these boards?

Tina

lv2cmp

No idea Tina but an excellent idea.  I read this thread often but just dont type on it. 

Amy

livesstrong

Tina - only way to find out is if you pm Tammy or Melissa.

Great idea!!

Valerie

bluewillow

Hi Snowy,

Thanks very much for the advice about Ruby Lane! I have actually looked at that website often (it is great!) and considered selling my Shawnee Pig and blue willow pieces there.  I agree that it would be much better than eBay.  I sell occasionally (and buy more often) on eBay, and I am just about fed up with the selling part.  The fees are getting ridiculous and I hate to say this, but in selling, I have dealt with some real jerks and they all happen to be men!  I will chalk that up to coincidence though, in fairness to the "weaker" sex   LOL!

Tina, the swap thread is a GREAT idea!

Take care, everyone!

Mary Jo

livesstrong

Hey Ladies-

Good news - my local library is having a book sale and they are asking for donations.  I'll be able to get rid of the 2 boxes my DH is willing to part with!!!

Plus I finally got my butt in gear and started putting stuff back on Ebay.  Sure hope it sells, I want to get rid of this junk!!!

Keep it up ladies,

Valerie 

paige-allyson

The swap thread is a great idea. We have a great thing here- don't know if others out there have similar or not. Our transfer station has a "take and/or leave" shed where you can put stuff that you don't want or take stuff that others didn't want. The transfer station in my former town had a shed solely for books, aka the "dump library." Both are great. My neighbor got a jogging stroller for her baby there. I got one and tried it out for our older dog but the seat was too slanted so I ended up putting it back.

Friday I FINALLY brought a big pile of clothes to the local consignment shop. Also have a bag in my car of clothes to go to the Salvation Army. It's getting better and better looking around here- really satisfying to look around and see order where chaos used to rule. Allyson

shokk

Good morning de-cluttering challenged ladies..............haven't stopped by in a while.......I always feel guilty about posting on the weekends when I have de-cluttering chores to do.........ok I do have a question for you guys..........who was the Peanuts character that always had dirt around him.....PigPen?..........does anyone else find that its hard to keep their car clean not on the outside but keeping the clutter out of the inside of your car and also if you work outside of the home your work area as well????????  Do some of us rationalize buying more stuff not for the home but say for our office........for example do we buy "Shorebirds" to decorate our desk at work but that's ok because it's not more stuff for our "home".....any thoughts say LiveStrong.....yes Valerie I'm asking you...................no really my car is a constant struggle to keep clean and my desk at work.........why are some people so neat and others aren't...........just wondering........Shokk

abbadoodles

shokk, it's always a struggle with me.  My dh calls my car the French Fry mobile.

Hey, guys, I have written to the admins. about starting a swap thread and hope to hear back from them soon.  I'll let you know what they say.

I loved Pig Pen.

Tina

paige-allyson

Shokk- not too bad with the inside of my car- well, except for some magazines scattered in the truck that I was going to donate about 3 months ago- they were in a bag but it ripped- probably from age. My car is always worse in the winter because I hate the cold so don't want to do things like vacuuming it. Not much trouble with food related mess. I pretty much never buy anything to eat or drink in the car- not even coffee. I have my own travel mug I use all the time. When I eat in the car it's usually apples- the core can go right out the window and it's not littering- it's composting or feeding animals or planting seeds- depending .  Saves money and keeps the car neater. I do need a routine for car washing- it's way overdue for one as usual- ditto on the oil change. My other main trouble is piles of paper but the flylady is helping me to get a handle on that.

Allyson

livesstrong

Shokk - - leave my shorebirds out of this!!!! lol. 

If you must know, My cubicle at work is VERY neat & organized. lol. I need to know where everything is or I go nuts!!  My "beach theme" doesn't get in the way at all.  My SUV on the other hand, is another story.  My DH says it looks like the truck from that show "Sanford & son". lol.  I keep all the crap in it that I want to sell at my annual yard sale.  You see my biggest problem is I have no storage areas.  I live in a townhome with no garage and no basement.  So I use my truck to store stuff.  No food wrappers or anything like that are in there, just boxes of crap I want to sell.

I think this weekend I going to sort thru my paperwork to get ready for tax season.  Hopefully I'll have a stack or two to shred.  I'll keep you posted!!!

Valerie 

iodine

When i was on the road, I lived in my car 10-20 hrs a day some days.

I carried a "bib" to cover my chest and lap to eat on the road and keep my suit blouse clean.  LOL

I did keep the inside of my car clean, just couldn't take a mess for that long every day.  Had a little cigg lighter vaccum to pick up small stuff and kept a Pledge dust rag in the car along with a wet rag in a baggie for the sticky stuff.

When I' was stuck in traffic and not on the phone, I'd clean my dash and what i could reach and still keep my seat belt on.

Oh, well, whatever floats your boat.

Now that my dh has retired and only works part time, he has what was my office at home.  I kept it up all the time and had an Active office when here.  I'm pretty organized at work, keep me sane.

But OMG, he brought his office to home-------------I cannot stand to go into the room.  I cannot sit at the desk, he barely has room for his lap top (roll top desk) every inch is covered on it as well as surrounding the whole thing.

When he started laying stuff on the dining room table, I just couldn't take anymore and said he'd have to learn to start filing--even offered to help.  Nope, but he did take stuff out of the dining room.

Anonymous

Awesome thread! Count me in! I'm tired of the maintenance of maintaining a lifestyle that has me maintaining it!! HA!

abbadoodles

Folks, I have not yet heard back from Tammy/Melissa about the possibility of a swap thread.  Just wanted to update you.

Had a friend over last week and we had our "Christmas" as we hadn't seen each other for months.  What a pile of stuff!  My husband said we were at the unwrapping for three hours.  We were drinking wine.  I lost count of time, but he could be right!

Anyway, when all was said and done, we had two, enormous bags full of tissue paper of all varieties.  Did I throw it out?  No.  I have a neighbor who loves to iron it and recycle.............Boy, was she happy when I "gifted" her with all that stuff.

Tina

abbadoodles

Oprah alert!

Today's show will be another clutterbug expose!  Peter Walsh is back with a show entitled "Does Clutter Make You Fat?"  Should be a good one.

Tina