Making do with less

ocinny414

Wow how inspiring you ladies are.  I've read all the posts on this link.  I moved in July right after starting chemo and did get rid of a lot of stuff.  Problem is: I moved into my moms other house and it still has a lot of her stuff in it.  She moved into her bed and breakfast.  We are slowly going though everything.  I've told her to close her eyes and throw.  I've done the same thing.  I have a long way to go but since I moved I've emptied like 6 tubs of stuff, threw most of it away and consolidated into only one tub.

Another great place to donate books, magazines and even good clothes might be your local veterans hospital.  I know the one here has a gift store the vets (patients) can go "shopping" in, for their families for Christmas.  Mom's ladies axillary group has donated lots of things.  The vets get money so they can buy items in the store.  Not exactly sure how it works but might be worth checking into.

CindyKS

bluewillow

Hi everyone and THANK YOU,  Abbadoodles, for starting this WONDERFUL conversation!!  Ironically, I have been cleaning closets over the Thanksgiving break while hubby is on a hunting trip and already have four boxes ready for Goodwill.  I really have no idea how I ended up finding this conversation, but I just happen to sit down at the computer for a break and found it!  All you ladies have helped me so much!  I just began my 12 weekly Taxol treatments, so I am going a bit slow, but I am actually having fun cleaning out.  I have found it so helpful and comforting to realize that there is "life after cancer" and how you all have just got on with life's regular routines! I agree with Juanita about 'someone has to go through this stuff when I die'-- I have said that for many years even before bc, and I confess to being a lifelong packrat.  There is so much sewing stuff in my spare bedroom that I can't get to my sewing machine to sew!  I have been collecting Blue Willow china since I was in junior high school (I'm 51 now), and I've got to figure out how to part with that too.  "Things" just don't seem to matter to me anymore, but that just naturally comes with age, I think.  Recently I heard of a lady who had received a dx of BC years ago and she immediately assumed she had been given a 'death sentence', so she made a list of 5 things she wanted to do before she died and did them all (that lady is still very well and healthy and alive today!).  Well I took her advice, made my list, and on the top of my list is to have a clutter-free, easy to clean home!  So, here I go!  I will keep checking this thread and reading your hints and helpful advice.  ps- the FlyLady website is GREAT!  Good luck to everyone and hey, if I can de-clutter, anyone can!

Best wishes to all!

Mary Jo

my3girls

Thanks for this thread!!

That is my goal as well.  My house is not cluttered by any means.  But I have a very large basement full of things I do not need, and my 3 daughters things..that I am "holding" for them, and even things the ex left behind!!  It is my goal this spring...when I am feeling 100% after my surgery in January, to de clutter!!  Purge...whatever you want to call it!! I know it will make me feel better in so many different ways!

I like to donate.  I feel like I am wasting if I just throw away, must be that I am the product of depression era parents.

Any tips will be helpfull!

I will actually enjoy going in my basement again.

About the donating to the vets.  I know there is a AMVETS truck.  They will schedule a pick up, and you just put it all on your porch, or wherever, and they pick it up!

Good luck to all

Lisa

bluewillow

I just got back from my trip to Goodwill-- seems as if everyone in town had the same idea-- they have gobs of stuff stacked up in the back rooms!  Hopefully someone will use it all...

Just thought I'd throw this in-- my parents still have some of my toys and stuff from when I was a kid, and the Easter purse that I carried when I was about two.  It is fun looking at all the stuff, but good grief, how do we throw such stuff away?  That is why I'm trying to de-clutter now so I don't have all this to look at in my old age, and my grown kids sure don't want any of it.  Neither of them nor their spouses are packrats-- they throw perfectly good things away and I just wince at the thought!  I guess they don't want to be like mom and grandparents, who keep everything!  Now what do I do with my Barbie doll collection that is in my sewing room closet?

MJ

mke

Here various charitable organizations pick up goods and then sell them to Value Village or something.  Last week Cerebral Palsy called and I told them sure I had some stuff.  We worked all last weekend and got rid of 100's of books, kitchen stuff we no longer use, glassware, canning jars, camping stuff, garbage bags of clothes.   We have quite a ways to go, but it was a start.

juanita63

How do I get dh to quit accumulating?  He's got an extensive collection of dvds that keeps getting larger.  It's taking over my living room.

livesstrong

Juanita - I hear you.  Right now my DH is my biggest problem.  He has such a hard time parting with things. The Cd's and books have taken over an entire room in my place. UGH!!

This weekend we went into the attic for Christmas decorations.  What a nightmare up there. I have my mothers dishes, punch bowl and other assorted items up there. She died when I was 9, I'm 51 now.  There is also this HUGE picture of her when she graduated high school that my father had framed.  It used to hang in their living room after she passed.  I have the same picture in  8 x 10.  How can I possibly throw the big one away????   I have been carrying around that stuff for years. I never use it, but can't part with it.  Any suggestions??

Valerie

abbadoodles

MJ, I know how hard it is to get rid of the things that have such deep emotional attachments.  They can seem almost like a life line or a link to dead parents, etc.  It seems almost sacreligious to get rid of that sort of stuff.

Bottom line is one day you just get tough, or tougher.  One day, you realize those things won't bring back the old days, the dead parents, the lost lovers and friends.  You will be free to release them to the "universe," whether that means throwing them out, giving them away, selling them, or whatever.  The *things* have no magic power and getting rid of them won't make change outcomes.  Probably you don't even look at those things anymore, anyway. 

Hey, I know it's a gradual thing, though.  Hardly anyone wakes up one day and gets rid of it ALL.  But, you can start.  Once you realize the sky doesn't fall in, you will have more heart to continue. 

I'm on that path, too.  Sometimes it makes me sad that I really don't want some things (of my parents') enough to actually USE them, but then I realize I am ME and they were THEM.  I don't have the same tastes and needs as they did.  Frankly, they did not keep all of their own parents' stuff when they died.  (Just enough to pass on to me to make ME crazy.  )

I read a great hint in some book:  Take photographs of some of the big stuff that you don't want to keep but feel an attachment to.  Then, get rid of the actual stuff.  When you want to reminisce (sp?), just whip out the photo.  Takes a lot less space.  And you don't have to dust it.  

I'm so glad so many of you ladies are getting something out of this thread.  I, too, come back here for your reinforcement!  Thanks!!!

Tina

badboob67

Ladies,

I love this thread! Now, if I could just start a fire under my butt and get moving on my clutter.  I DID manage to fill a trash bag full of some kitchen things this past weekend. DH installed new shelving in my pantry/overflow closet (WOOHOO!) and it feels so nice to have at least one thing tidy and organized.

Valerie, I hear you about the photo. I have recently begun doing some genealogy on my husband's side of the family and have been going through some very old photos. It is my goal to scan them all and burn them to a cd (or dvd slide show). Storing the photos digitally means you can always have another printed out if you'd like, but you don't have stacks and stacks of photos. Scanning is a bit time consuming, but I really like the idea. It is especially helpful with the older photos and poloroids because it keeps the images from degrading further. I scan them in with as high a resolution as possible and also adjust their dimensions so there is uniformity. I am trying to get everything at 8x10. Maybe you could do the same with that picture of your mom and you wouldn't feel so bad about throwing it away. Knowing I can replace any of these photos makes it easier to toss 'em! 

I am also looking into how to transfer our old vhs tapes to dvd using my computer. DVDs take up less space and don't degrade the same way that vhs tapes do.

I have a HUGE problem with craft and sewing supplies. I have tried to get rid of things, but it just doesn't work for me. In the past, I have pared things down only to have to repurchase at a much higher price because one of the kids needed a costume or had a project. I used to do "retail therapy" at the thrift stores and mainly purchased sewing and craft items. I really do sew/paint/sculpt/scrapbook/do calligraphy and it is both soothing and rewarding. I have tried several different organization techniques, but haven't found any that really work well. I have absolutely no $$$ to spend on totes/shelving/etc.  Anybody got any ideas how to wrangle the stuff I can't bring myself to get rid of?

With the new year coming up, maybe I'll get brave and resolve to be clutter free by summer.  SEEMS do-able!  LOL

Diane 

abbadoodles

Diane, if it's stuff you actually USE, it's not clutter!

As far as organizing craft stuff, you can ask at stores for their discarded boxes.  Often, too, you will find broken down boxes in back of strip malls waiting to be picked up with the dumpster trash.  You could collect a bunch of similar size boxes for your storage.  You could even make another craft project out of them by covering them with pretty papers or fabrics.  That would get rid of some excess stuff.

Tina

abbadoodles

Happy dance!!!

Yesterday, I cleaned out and re-organized the HUGE entertainment armoire.  Cleared out all those old, self-recorded videotapes (from old TV shows, bad reception, commercials, etc.) and fixed droopy drawers .

I had piles of old stuff my DH recorded and was planning on just putting them into boxes to put in the cellar, lest I be accused of throwing out his stuff, when, lo and behold, DH happened into the room and said, "Why don't you throw out all of that crap?"

Happy dance!

Tina

livesstrong

Tina,

I'm sooo happy for you!!!  Why can't my DH say that???  All I get from him is "Don't touch my stuff."  lol.    He has issues, what can I say.

Is anyone else suffering from way to many Christmas decorations??  I swear when this season is over, I'm going to do a clean sweep of them.

Keep ceaning ladies,

Valerie

Mizsissy

I've seen this thread and thought about it a lot but this is the first time I've posted.

Do any of you remember the last time you went to a historical museum or went through a historical house and saw how small the closets were, the very few different outfits people had, and how all their possessions could be put away or hung on a wall and look quaint?

I am horrified at the amount of stuff my husband and I have accumulated in just about 20 years of marriage.  We started out in a one-bedroom apartment, moved to a two bedroom apartment, then to an 1100 square foot house, and now we live in a 3000 square foot house, and the basement is loaded with all kinds of valuable merchandise...a beautiful restored iron bedstead, antiques, wedding presents we never used (did everyone get a fondue set), mistakes I bought on eBay, about 3 or 4 automatic litterboxes that never worked out (at $200 apiece).  

I keep on saying that I am going to sell this stuff but I don't.  I have gotten burned so many times on eBay that I just don't want to get involved again...I need to have a garage sale, but that gets postponed from one year to the next....HELP!!!

Mizsissy 

Blundin2005

Hey ladies,



Over the summer I clean the closets, bagged sizes never to be seen again....boxed winter and summer for easy access...pushed the envelope of the next size OMG!!!! and bought a few new things to fill the space that I created when I cleaned the closets!!



Tonight I was visited by a policeman with a notice of payment due for a ticket I recieved in town. During one of my less conscious moments, I parked the car in a place that blocked another road....left for awhile...so I assume the people who wanted to get by were a bit upset. Damn I hated those fogged moments. The fog cleared since I began magnesium pidolate...but I don't want to miss a day to take it!



So then I needed to find the receipt of the paid ticket. Yes, I paid it immediately...so I wouldn't forget of course! So THEY lost THEIR receipt! I needed to spend the evening going through every piece of paper on my desk that accummulated over the past three months....a grand pile I can assure you. A pile for the computer upgrade...a pile for the web site update....a pile for the Komen meeting....a pile for the thank you notes...a pile for the airline reservations....a pile for the airline reservation screw up by US Air....a pile for the software and memory upgrade that needed a 00 something or other philips head screw driver that doesn't exist in Italy....!!!



A great occasion to file everything as I put my hand on it....five file boxes later....an ambiguious small pile of paper placed ever so carefully in the only clear spot left on the desk....contained the long sought after receipt! What great relief to find it! I knew it was there somewhere!!!



Now I can waltz into the police station with my receipt in hand and prove that YES, I did pay that ticket. By the way "why did I get the ticket over almost everyone else who parks in the same place??!!" OK, I'll leave that question out of the exercise. After all...I could have disputed the ticket...but that would have taken almost a year...like my friend who fought another parking ticket. It would cost me that much in gas to drive back and forth to court!



The vigile who came to the door was ever so nice...I explained that I paid the ticket and asked why I got it in the first place...he looked to the signature of the officer and said "ahhhhh, she did it" pointing to the signature and with a knowing node.



Sooooooo it feels so good to have a clear desk....ahhhhhhh

snowyday

I to have been looking at my place and dreaming  of no clutter.  I want to box it up and give it away to charity.  I've been so tired and I think not cleaning the I use to is making me feel I've got to much clothing and clutter.  I watched an Ophra show about a horder and the gentleman that convinced to get rid of things recommended each day filling one garbage for garbage and one for charity. I love that idea. So tomorrow I'm going to start.  I  was always so clutter free and spotless my kids would just hate spring and fall cleaning, now I think I've forgotten how to do it. But I wonder how many of us feel this way.  I was looking at all of my novels last night and it's ridiculous. They have to go to a book store (there good reading) but not working and being tired and looking at all the stuff must be normal to feel this way.

abbadoodles

Miz, I know what you mean by the eBay obsession.  I went through that phase where I just kept buying stuff like there was no tomorrow.  Now I have it in closets and I'm thinking it will take so much effort to re-sell it on eBay that maybe I should just box it up and take it to Salvation Army.  If I were to sit and figure how much I could get for it versus how much time I have to waste I think I may convince myself it's more economical to just give it away!

I have had yard/garage sales but they are so much work with set-up and packing away leftovers that I get tired just thinking about it.  Also, I tend to get irritated at all the people who want to get something for nothing.  If you have an item worth $50 and mark it $10, they still want it for $2.  Burns me up. 

Marilyn, I know what you mean by the piles of stuff on the desk.  I am starting to realize most of my clutter problem is really a reluctance-to-file problem.  Luckily, I have a houseguest coming this weekend so I need to take care of business before she arrives and sees my mess.  I don't know why, but this was never a problem for my before my first bc 15 years ago.  Other than the obvious effects, it must have jarred my screws loose!  I consider it a mental illness!  And yet, although I am aware of it, I still struggle.  Any help?

Snowyday, I think maybe my last paragraph indicates we are in the same boat, although I cannot blame my procrastination on fatigue.

Tina

annie06

Funny....I have the same thoughts....too much stuff and not wanting my stuff (that they have to clean out and declutter) to be my legacy. Also time is precious...and I do not want to spend it constantly 'managing' all our things. I have begun my decluttering too! And I yearn for things of lasting value, things of eternity and things of eternal value....not the 'things' of this world which are surely 'passing away'. I am trying to keep my mindset right and bless others with what we have ourselves been blessed with!! Less is more!!!!

Anonymous

bumping for Candie

livesstrong

Hi Ladies,

Well things have been a little slow at my place.  I just bought some new appliances for the kitchen so this past week I got rid of some old pots & pans, things like that.

DH PROMISED after the hoidays to work on "his" room and get rid of some books.  I can't wait.   There is going to be some seroius arguing around here if he doesn't do it.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

? for you all - are any of you still hanging on to all your insurance paperwork from when you were first dx??  Its going on a year for me and I still can't seem to part with it.  WTH???

Gotta run,

Keep Cleaning,

Valerie

abbadoodles

Today, I'd like to make do with less by heaving my computer.  I am supposed to go online to elect health care coverage by tomorrow but the site won't let me get a physician code to complete my enrollment, hence, no enrollment.  I could just spit nickels.

Tina

snowyday

Just wanted to add this there are sites called freecycle and each town has there own site. It's great you can put the stuff on freecycle and usually people come and pick it up you don't even have to leave the house.  I've saved and hired someone to come in and help me declutter and clean and I will email freecycle and have people come pick up the stuff I'm getting rid of. Makes me feel good as well a year ago a women on my freecycle went from a size 22 to a size 6. Well I bagged up tons of stuff for her and she picked them up. I just left them on the porch. She was so happy, so the stuff I thought was old and unwanted made her day.  Just an idea.  And Blue Willow please don't get rid of your blue willow. I collect it and blue nordic and it's worth alot, just start using it instead of just letting it sit. Pearl

juanita63

I'm hoping to do some more cleaning over Christmas vacation.  I also have to do a scrapbook that was a graduation present for my nephew who graduated almost 2 years ago.  I used to be so organized, but since cancer I'm lucky to keep my house cleaned up.  I've gotten rid of a lot of stuff lately, but I'm thinking it's time for a lot more to go.  But like I said before my dh has a huge collection of dvds that is taking over my living room.  How do I convince him to get rid of some?  And my son and daughter-in-law live with me.  Adds a whole other mess to what I want to get rid of. 

iodine

Well, I cleaned out a lot of places this past week.  All you have to do is misplace a Christmas gift you bought last summer!  Closets are much neater and some of the cabinets have lost nonworking stuff that dh agreed to throw away!

I've also found stuff that I'd forgotten I had!  That was fun.

and I finally found the gift!

abbadoodles

Today is the day I take #2 box of goodies to my bra/wig lady.  Six mastectomy bras from when I was being expanded and two "shapers" which are types of silicone prostheses which I needed to even me out during the expansion process.  Those little shapers are expensive, about $250 - $350 apiece.  The bras were at least $40 each, hardly worn.  I have good insurance.  (But my dh's employer is changing carriers!  I'm a wreck!!!)  Anyway, I'm sure all this will be going to women who don't have adequate insurance.  The $250 wig, too.  Merry Christmas to them!

Now to fit in time to make a trip to the women's shelter with clothing and another trip to the library with more books.  This is a reverse Christmas for me but it feels GREAT.

Tina

shokk

Hello ladies..............well today I am going to go "buy Christmas gifts"..........I was watching a show (can't remember what it was) but a lady suggested for people that have everything and really what that means is they have too much stuff is buy them a gift which must be consumed or used in one day...........for example a good bottle of wine.......tickets to the theater or movies........something kind of food that is homemade......etc..................I told my two beautiful daughters all I want for Christmas from them is a nice dinner out and to go to the movies...............oldest daughter is in college in WI and we live in Texas..........she won't be home for spring break so when she leaves in January I won't see her again until June.........oh and they both have been helping me declutter  and I just love them so much that to me has been the best present they have ever given me...............Shokk

bluewillow

Shokk, what great ideas for gifts!  I have already told my family that all I want is their time-- a nice dinner out, a game of mini-golf or a movie, etc.  Memories of times spent together are the best gifts of all, and they don't clutter anything!  You are very lucky to have the help in decluttering-- what a great gift that is. Thanks again for sharing the ideas.

Mary Jo 

Nadine1986

This is a great thread.  My biggest thing right now is my refrigerator.  I finally decided to clean it out yesterday and found a package of cream cheese, unopened, with an expiration date of 2005.  How bad is that?

bluewillow

Emma, I've done that too, so don't feel alone. I found unopened bottles of salad dressing and low-carb ketchup the other day from 2005, when I tried the low-carb diet thing.  I always feel guilty when I waste food like that because someone else could have used it.

Snowyday, I think I will keep my blue willow and use it every day, which is what I should have been doing all along, instead of saving it for what??  I have a Shawnee cookie jar that my grandmother gave me that is worth about $300-400 dollars, but what do I do with it?  It is packed away in a box, not displayed, but I could use the money.  Not sure what I should do.  Anyone with ideas?

Have a great day and happy cleaning!

Mary Jo 

juanita63

Take a picture of it and sell it.  But I'm not good at following my own advice.  I have a small punch bowl thing that was my husband's grandmother's.  We've been married 25 years, together for 26, and I've never used it.

abbadoodles

Had a funny experience yesterday.

I had advertised some of my used clothing in freecycle.  Women's size 4 and 6. 

The woman who responded came to pick up.  At least a size 18 and short.  I did a double-take.  Said, "I see this stuff isn't for you."  Could have kicked myself, but she said, no, for her teenage daughter who was that size. 

Just tape my mouth.

Tina