Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

IowaCindy

I was with my daughter at a Hobby Lobby store, wandering around in my scarf. This very hoity-toity woman about my age, soon to be 50, just glared at me.

We passed her several times as we moved about the store and each time she just leveled such an awful look at me. I don't know if I reminded her of someone or I scared her. Definitely not supportive of a sister, though. Even my daughter noticed her attitude.

I'd much rather respond to the sweet smiles of some women that seem to indicate to me that they've got a clue about what I might be going through.

Cindy

t4t

Nancy - agree with you on the miseries of Taxol. Tae and I went to see the onc today for a serious discussion of those miseries. End result? Switch over to taxotere! I told him that many of the Canadian ladies on this web site take taxotere and he said it is the standard of care in Europe and Canada, but not yet in the U.S. I know some folks get taxotere in Calif and New Jersey and other states, but it is less common. Well we talked for some time about the difference in side effects and he finally 'fessed up that he thought taxotere was better. So Tae and I are looking at each other with the same thought in mind..."Why the hell did we go through that misery if it could have been avoided????"
Of course there are some side effects with taxotere, but generally he said they will be less than the Taxol. The downside is that it will be three weeks between these last two sessions so Tae will drop back to May 11th for a finish date. I know I read someone's post that they are on a two week taxotere schedule, but that's okay. Now she will get off the Neulasta shots and that will be less bone pain. He also blamed the fever and stomach cramps on Taxol, so we hope to avoid them as well. Coincidentally, the sun was shining this afternoon making a beautiful day after that storm we had. That last was figurative as well as factual. Have a peaceful night all.

Terry 4 Tae

meliaanne

Joni,

Good for you!!!! I hope you are celebrating. I am so happy for you.

My blood counts were fine today so first taxol is Wed, last one (hopefully) is July 5. Seems like a long road but certainly doable.

Stay strong all,
Melia

Ovrtrainbo

Well, I've had 4 of Adymycin now I'll be having my third Taxol this Wednesday with one left of Taxol and then I have four of Cytoxin and them I'm done with Chemo and move on to Rads. I am having alot of numbness in my legs since beginning T and it's truly effectived my left leg greatly. I also have some frustration as my fingers are very numb (the fingertips specifically) can anyone give me suggetions before Wed when i see Onc again?

Rebecca

Carol,

It is my understanding that a bit of neuropathy is rather expected on the taxanes. Make sure he gives you a full neurological exam just to make sure that your reaction is "within expectation". I am personally concerned that your reaction is assymetrical, but I do not know what that means, if anything. My onc, and others, have said that Taxotere is a bit less toxic than Taxol, so maybe you might discuss switching over. I hope this helps....Good luck, and keep us posted!

Rebecca

Cindy,

Ugh that woman glaring at you really makes me MAAAADDDD. What nerve. I wonder what was up her butt? It would almost have been worth stopping and politely inquiring if you could help her. I have to imagine that it was innocuous or I will go off the deep end, and have to come out to Iowa to defend my sweet Cindy (yeah right....hobble, hobble)

Well, I definately overdid it yesterday. By 4PM I was practically in tears from fatigue and nausea, but my day was FAAAR from over and I had to plow on. It was one of those days with constant activity (all three kids home, had to teach, entertain them with playdate feed them, keep them getting along etc then gymnastics and the supermarket)...nothing strenuous, just continuous, and requiring attention. Finally got Matt from the train by about 7:30, and headed right for the couch when we walked in the door. I think I got up one time to go to the bathroom, but I could not even summon enough energy to speak to him. He asked me where something was at some point but my chemo fog was so bad that all I could manage was "it is in the thing in that room". To his credit, he left it at that . It was awful...and I could not sleep, and could not even cry even though I wanted to. Took a Percocet, and that took care of that problem

Today is not looking much better, and I am dreading it. I have Dr appointment at 9:15, followed by class, then I have to go to Elementary school to hear my daughter read poetry (with Owen in tow, of course) Then home for 45 mins, and then back out to gymnastics....home then possibly back out to pick up from gymnastics. At some point I have to get dog food today or my dogs will starve. sigh. normally this kidn of day would be nothing to me but just typing it out makes me want to cry today. And then to add insult to injury my tastebuds took their official turn south this morning and my coffee tastes absolutely FOUL even with my (normally) yummy cinnimon (nice spelling huh?) hazelnut creamer. oh...AND Matt told me in the car this morning on the way to the station that he has to work late on Wed! AAAACCCCKKKKKK

Ok...enough whining from me this morning. I have to grade papers before the kids get up. Love to all, wish me luck today conquering what used to be my normal schedule!

meliaanne

Rebecca,
I raised three kids (all born within 3 1/2 years) and I found those days exhausting without cancer!!!! You poor baby, I wish I could help. All the running around and the need to be cheerful is a lot when you are 100%. Just think of the next step, not the whole day ...I will be thinking of you.
Melia

Dar1

Rebecca (and all those with children at home) - that sounds exhausting! My kids are 28 and 30 and my heart goes out to those going through this who still have family responsibilities. Please ask for help. Could a friend or neighbour pick up the dog food? I would if I was there!

I was finding my memory impaired a year ago already - I called it "mentalpause". I don't know if it's any worse now, but when you're going through chemo, all bets are off.

Yesterday I spoke to my claim manager about going back to work. I'm planning on going back May 9th, 3 hours/day 4 days/week. My job is doing tax research/planning etc., and I'm apprehensive because I haven't given it much of a thought for nearly 7 months, including the month before diagnosis when I was worried sick buy trying to be "positive". I don't really remember what I do there! I told the claims manager that I feel pretty good physically, but that I don't have a physical job - it's mentally demanding - and I still have a lot to process and recover from mentally and emotionally. She agreed(!) and thought that 12 hours/week sounded like a good idea. I think I may have the most reasonable insurance co. in the country. I guess they can see that I'm making progress so they won't push. Also, she told me I won't be penalized financially for working - I had thought that my gross pay would be deducted from my benefits rather than the net - so I can work up gradually to a full day. I don't intend to push myself - as has been said, we have been through a trauma - poked, squeezed, cut, poisoned and scared. Our bodies know this, even when our minds try to avoid it. Maybe that's where the tears come from - they still seem to arrive a few times a day. When I look back to myself bc, I feel that I have always pushed myself and taken on too much worry and stress. I may not change any of the outward parts of my life, but that has to change.

Hair is somewhere between 1/4 and 1/2 inch and is starting to cover my head. I am hair-obsessed and check it several times per day. I can't wait to ditch the wig and have started going topless around the yard, front yard too. As the weather gets warmer I'm less concerned about how it looks and other people's reactions - a wig, warm weather and hot flashes are too much!

Have a good day everyone - you are all amazing!

Dar1

And I know that all of you know that "topless" means without the wig or hat!

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Terry & Tae, Taxotere definitely is the drug of choice I think. Had it not been for my multo-infections, I would have thought I was on a placebo..of course, Lynn would beg to differ I think, she's gone a lot longer than I did. So are you switching to taxotere...hey Nancy and you other Taxol girls, maybe the rest of you can switch too!!!! It's just more expensive, but heck, you don't have to pay for it!!!!

I feel so bad about your girls still whirling around in your chemo fog, and I'm done for over a month. You know, I don't even remember it much; it's history, gone, zappo. I feel like me again. I hope you're all in the same place soon.

Amera, you gave me and dh a huge belly laugh with your "book, the one with the food and how to make it." Rebecca, I really don't know HOW you manage with a job and kids and chemo and everything else. You put the rest of us easygoers to shame.

Melia...you're really going all the way to July!!! Yikes!!!

I had my 5th zap yesterday. Found out I'm going for 35 treatments, so I probably won't be done until around June. Met a lady who was diagnosed same time as me, same age by a year, with the same size lump, in the same breast, operated on by the same surgeon, on the same chemo & rads schedule, with the same onc etc., etc., except that I am a few weeks behind her because I had a second surgery. Her hair is black and thicker looking, so it gives me an idea of where I might be three weeks from now.

The usual sleepiness & fatigue hit me but I think now it was just your typical 4 o'clock low, because I felt great after dinner. DH & I grabbed our bikes and headed for the trail, making it to the river just about dusk. We had to race back to get home before dark, but it was a beautiful time of day. Seven miles total...felt great. I think biking (fast) is the best aerobic activity there is. I am now sleeping as late as possible every morning; this is very good for healing and I recommend lots of sleep to anybody who can. Rebecca, you need a break!!!

Cindy, your booklet is on its way. I wish I could share it with *EVERYBODY*.....

Mizsissy xxxooo

PS...for those of you get-together people who didn't VOTE on a date, take a look back for the poll I posted yesterday.!!!

skyedivine

Carol, like you I had 4 AC and am now on the Taxol cycle, although I had the cytoxin along with the AC already. Since you've only had two Taxols maybe you, like Tae, still have time to switch so I would definitely ask the onc about it. Too late for me with only one left of Taxol, I'll just have to grit my teeth and hope it isn't even worse. On my third Taxol the neuropathy was definitely worse; I had numbness of everything below the waist, including insides. It started the third day and lasted through day six, along with joint and bone pains. In addition I had what seemed like a mild cold but I've now learned was Herceptin reaction. I guess at this point I feel like I got through it so I can do one more, but I am definitely going to ask my onc about stronger pain relief. As for the neuropathy, I'm taking glutamine for days 2-5 of the Taxol as recommended by the onc's office in hopes of lessening any lasting neuropathy.

By the way, for anyone else on Herceptin, I've learned there are more symptoms and ses than I'd believed, and happen to about ten percent of those taking it. Yesterday after my second infusion I got home and felt like the skin on both legs was burning and discovered I had some raised, red rashy areas on my shins. I've also been having chest pains since the first infusion which is of some concern since Herceptin can cause heart failure. And yet, Herceptin (trastuzumab) is the magic bullet for HER2 so I'm trying to stay optimistic that I will be able to continue it.

But do let us know what you learn from your onc. And Tae and Terry, I hope the milder taxotere works for you too. Looks like I'll be the only one in this group to have gritted it through four, 2-week rounds of Taxol, a dubious distinction indeed! - Skye

sharon56

terry / Tae
i am on taxotere but here in Canada they still use taxol , with the AC i believe . I am getting taxotere because i am stage 3 with lymph node involvement and triple negative .
So no hormones for me just chemo and rads .
I am also going to ask for a copy of my pathology reports. I have an appointment with my GP on the 30th to go over what happens to me after the rads are done .
Tae the taxotere was easy for me much easier than FEC no nausea , BUT you will still have a bit of muscle pain ,get tired too , you will have to take steroids for allergic reactions and they do keep you hopping for a few days after. I am managing on it and eating better ..... I cannot lose anymore weight .
mizsissy i voted Do you have any hair growing yet ?
Amera too funny a loss for the simplest of words ..... i call my girls 2 names at once over and over they think its pretty funny if I keep rubbing my bad head anymore imay not get any hair coming back
Rebecca .... hope your energy levels can keep you up and ok eat well and make sure you get enough protein and carbs.
Joni : Are you doing rads ? Enjoy your Calgary sunshine we are just getting out of the big storm and are supposed to gt some warmer weather ,I want to get my gardens cleaned up , our daffodils are not even blooming and my crocus are just blooming now , watch next I will be complaining its too hot !
Common sunshine warm up my back !

Lynn12

Greetings Ladies,

Mizsissy, it's so nice to hear about you and others that are done and actually feel like normal. It gives us hope and something to really look forward to.

As for me, I usually get back to work on Tuesday after tx but no can do today. Emailed my boss I need another day due to continuing toxic fog. And yes, Taxotere is kicking my butt! And I can offically say 'I have no taste buds left'. DH made me bacon and french toast and I can't even taste bacon at all...blech! Ok, enough whining.

Rebecca, please ask for help. Remember in the beginning when you were diagnosed and all those people said 'let me know what I can do to help' CALL THEM!

My list of snail mails is growing VERY VERY slowly. Come on ladies, I only have 14 names and I KNOW there are more than 14 of us. Below is the list of everyone who has sent me their address, for those Jan. ladies who haven't please send me your address to lynnjm@charter.net, I have something I would like to send everyone.

Caya
TLC
nancy
Tina
Shorti
Viddie
Jan
Joni
Mizsissy
Skye
Rebecca
Cindy
Amera
Robertin

Well, I'm happy to report that the Emend worked pretty well. I was quite nauseas the first night but haven't been since. But today I'm crashing from finally getting off the steroids, so time for a nap, I'll check inllater.

Amera

I'm listening to "On Point" with Dr. Winer the head of Dana Farber breast oncology program, and Dr. Healy, a brain cancer survivor.

Dr. Winer said he tells his patients that if you are finding that, aside from your immediate family, you are having to comfort folks about your cancer, then you should look elsewhere for support.

Dr. Healy keeps stressing that the patient has to chose how to live with cancer. How most people are really ignorant about cancer and its treatments. She calls these people "back seat doomsday drivers. " I thought that was so apt. She even got really pissy with the interviewer asked what her prognosis was. She said it didn't matter to her. She was living her life as she wanted and didn't want to dwell on things that may or may not happen to her. She also has an etiquette of cancer. Finally!

She wrote a book which I haven't yet checked out but she sounds pretty with it: "Living Time: Faith and Facts to Transform Your Cancer Journey"

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Quote:

---

Rebecca, please ask for help. Remember in the beginning when you were diagnosed and all those people said 'let me know what I can do to help' CALL THEM!

---

I couldn't agree more!!! You need to focus on healing now, not being Super Woman!!!!

Mizsissy

Anonymous

Because I cannot turn on the radio or TV or watch a movie without some mention of cancer I heard about this blog on NPR yesterday. Thought you all might be interested:
http://www.npr.org/blogs/mycancer/

More bad news this week. My aunt - who I have mentioned here before, she was recently dx with acute leukemia and has been hospitalized ever since - has had several setbacks. Most recently she became confused and they suspected an infection had spread to her brain. Then she had a stroke. Now she is in a coma-like state and no one expects that she will recover from it. Most of my aunts and uncles are flying in to Toronto today to make some hard decisions. She is not expected to live much longer and won't regain consciousness. This just a few weeks after one of my uncle's died of a sudden heart attack. Another uncle is seriously ill from a long term illness also. But in my aunt's case this is so sudden. She was healthy and active just a few months ago.

My 6 year old daughter is very close to this aunt (who visits us at least twice a year for 2 weeks at a time). I can't bear the thought of having to try to explain this to her. We were all together in October for my brother's wedding.

Lynn12

Oh Jan, big hugs! Gee, that's a lot to bear on top of bc. We're here for you!

Caya

Jan - so sorry to hear about your aunt. It really is hard to take at any time, never mind now.
Rebecca - I agree with the other ladies. Don't be shy about accepting any offers of help - People seem to really mean it. Various old friends and many family members have called with offers to do whatever - pick up groceries, make a meal etc. - and I have often taken them up on their offers, especially to make a meal. Members of my choir group have been taking turns dropping off a meal. The other day a friend called me up and said she was making a batch of boneless chicken breasts, and did I want any - her husband was here within 3 hours with a large pan of the chicken along with a plate of homemade shortbread cookies - I just put this stuff into the freezer. I find that when I feel good, I like to cook, and save these "volunteer" dinners for the days when I have no energy etc. People really do mean to help, don't be afraid to ask.
I really applaud both of you - My girls are 18 and 21, I don't know how you and anyone else on this board with such young children do it - you girls are terrific - don't ever forget it.
hugs to all
Caya

Rebecca

Jan I am so sorry to hear about your aunt

Thank you for all of your encouragement guys...it was so nice to finally get home and have all those posts to read. You will all be pleased to know that I spent a bunch of time today on the phone lining up the reinforcements. Matt is on his way home so I do not have to do childcare tonight, and Frances has rides to and from gymnastics. I had to endure my rough morning, but the rest of the evening is looking better. I also managed to get someone to come and help me tomorrow afternoon, and am actively seeking help for Thursday and Friday to round out the week. This really caught me off guard...normally I would have bounced back a bit by now, but I am really very sick today. I did yesterday on pure adrenaline, and today I have NOTHING left. Thank goodness I was able to pull together something to take some of the weight off. I do have to say (if I may whine a bit more) going and gathering the help is often as exhausting or MORE exhausting than doing my stuff myself. I tried to get my semi-retired father to come for Thursday/Friday, but apparently some appointment with his car is more important and he can not make it. I am waiting a callback from my sister, and I think I might be able to get my mom for Friday so all is not lost. I have not been afraid to ask for help, but unfortunately for me the thing that I need most is time and help during the week which is the thing that most people can not give me....it takes me getting violently ill and incapacitated to motivate people to get over here. sad, really. I am sure I am being ungrateful to a certain degree, after all they ARE coming so I should just relax and enjoy it. No wait...I have to get the kids from school. sigh. I think when DH comes home I am going to go to bed. sorry to be such a downer....love to all my sisters.

Anonymous

Rebecca - you are not a downer. I'm so glad you have some reinforcements lined up. I skipped out of work today for an hour to go pick up meals from super suppers. Yeah - no cooking for me for next couple of weeks. Love that place. It is interesting to see how people have been willing to help. I agree that getting help during a weekday is nearly impossible. I have a friend that drives the kids for me, but other than that everyone is at work. Just having my kids at home after school until my husband gets home from work can completely exhaust me.

Go straight to bed when your husband comes home and get some sleep. With enough rest maybe tomorrow will be a better day.

Robbin65

I am only 41 and I only did 4 rounds of AC.

I hope it didn't kick me into menopause!!!!!!!! I have been having the most intense hot flashes during the day and more at night. Sheesh...

My period didn't stop until my 3rd dose so it obviously did something to my overies.
I'M NOT READY FOR MENOPAUSE!!!

Today I went to Barnes and Noble and got this book:

Dr. Susan Love's Menopause and Hormone Book.

Gonna' study, study, study....

Also been studing about Tamoxifen too for us ER and PR Positive gals.

I sure hope my period comes back soon.

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Robbin Jaye,

Don't worry yourself crazy about menopause. I've been through it naturally, and it is not that bad, in fact it's not bad at all (except for the flashes). No more periods. No more estrogen weight gain. And my sex life is great, and I get just as turned on as I did when I was your age, emotionally, physically, and every other way. There's really nothing to fear. You will still turn men's heads...!!!

Menopause positives: did you know that women who go through menopause can have a creative and spiritual regeneration? Studies have shown that girls are at their highest level of creativity and self-confidence right before puberty. Then the hormones come on and they lose their self-confidence and worry about their looks, their friends, and their popularity. Everything is about reproduction for the next 40 odd years.

Then you get it all back at menopause--self confidence, creativity. The secret is to stay healthy, stay active, and stay in shape. Keep up those aerobics and strength training exercises. This can really be the best part of your life.

This is a time for rebirth & new beginnings!!!

Mizsissy

PS: Effexor is very good for hot flashes and can be taken with tamoxifen. I'm starting Effexor next week.

luckymel

"We really are all sort of lost in our closets in a way, but it helps to stick together."

Skye, what a cool thing to say! One of the reasons I love you guys - you have such wonderful ways of expressing yourselves. My DH was charmed by that - he totally gets it. He came home at lunch today and told me he had been lost in his closet at work!

I managed to drag myself over to the hospital where I work today to pick up my short term disability papers. As I feared, until all the papers are filed, they don't start the countdown of six weeks until I actually get disability pay. I had been calling for over a week to get an appointment with HR to get started, but nobody every answered the phone or called me back. Meanwhile, what little sick leave I have is evaporating.

Jan, I'm so sorry about your aunt. Sorry for you, and for your little girl also. I just found out today that a friend of mine died - he was an anesthesiologist, andsuch a great guy - I just loved him to death. The last few years he has been battling ALS - that is truly the cruelest disease, I think. Anyway, am trying to muster the energy to go to the visitation or to the funeral, and wondering what I can wear with ankles swollen to the size of tree trunks.

Mizsissy, I wish I had somewhere to ride my bike. I used to be a serious biker for years, but since we moved to Houston I've been afraid to ride. It isn't safe for bicycles here at all. My husband is doing a two day, almost 200 mile ride this weekend for MS. I'd love to be going along - maybe next year.

Tomorrow is my last Taxol, and I'm scared to death. I feel so bad now, and never really got better since last week's treatment - I can't imagine how I'm going to feel after this last one, and for how long, but I'm expecting the worst. At least it's my last chemo - I'll have to concentrate on that I guess. Time to celebrate, if I had the energy....
Hugs to you all
Mel

NOLONGERREADINGORPOSTING

Jan, I am sorry I didn't say anything about your aunt...just saw it. I am sad for you and your little girl...but don't give up hope. People can come back from the most hopeless situations. But if it must be her time, I hope the transition is peaceful for her, you, and your family.

Rebecca...get some rest. Sleep as much as you can.

Good luck on your *LAST* taxol tomorrow Mel!!!

Mizsissy

viddie

Hi all,

Jan, Sorry to hear about your aunt. My heart and prayers are with you.
Thanks for the blog. It was very interesting and it hit home.

Rebecca,
I am glad to hear that you can get some help for the rest of the week. Sorry you had such a tough day. Maybe you can take a warm bath before bed tonight.

Melia,
Good luck tomorrow with your first taxol.

Skye,
Only one more taxol left!! You might want to mention to your onc about the chest pain. I know it was rough, but it is almost over!! Hopefully just herceptin every 3 weeks will be easier.

Lynn.
I hope you feel better soon. By the way, I was able to get an appointment with Dr. Lee on May 11 for a consultation. I will love to hear what you think of him.

Mel,
Congratulations on your last treatment tomorrow!!! Good luck tomorrow. When you feel better you can celebrate. That is something to look forward to. I am sorry you had such a hard time with the taxol. Did they test your blood every week? Did you ever have to miss a treatment due to low blood counts? I am starting my taxol/herceptin treatments(12 weeks) on Thursday. I thought 12 weekly infusions might be easier than 4 DD. Have you been feeling bad all 12 weeks? I hope this last treatment is easier on you.

Mizsissy,
I will be on taxol/herceptin until July 5- like Melia. I will continue Herceptin until April 2008. All of us on Herceptin get to do chemo for another year- every 3 weeks. Aren't we special!!

Viddie

TPPJ

Had my onco. visit today. Very casual..didn't even draw any blood. I felt like a non-patient! He could feel the swollen node under my jaw but wasn't concerned...assumes it was part of my recent sinus woes.

Kind of tired now...went to the wig/hat shop afterward and picked up a few things for spring...then to Chili's w/Jaclyn for a 2 pm lunch..found what appeared to be an animal hair in our chicken fajita platter. They didn't charge us. From there to Justice for a b'day gift for her friend and then home. Went out at 10 am this am and the whole day was just gone. My son got in at 4 pm from school, they both then had friends over and now he's badgering me to go to the school talent show (2+ hours tonight). I'm like sorry, NO. I'm not going to feel bad either. I am a little queasy and I think it's due to low carbing. (I ate no tortillas at lunch...just the chicken and vegetables.) Hot flash coming on... ick. Speaking of which, my dr. wrote my rx for Tamoxifen and said I could begin in a few weeks. It was funny...he kind of left it up to me as to when I'd like to start. Odd. I do my big dose of Herceptin next Wed. and I'll have 40 more of them. (I thought the 12 I already did was part of that 40.)

Jan, sorry about your aunt. My kids haven't experienced anyone close going yet, thank God, and I dread the day... I was really spared that until I was much older.

Mizsissy, glad your spirits are better.

Sunny and warm here today...supposed to reach the 70's by Sunday.

Laughed at someones comment about saying "can I help you" at Hobby Lobby. The witch probably would have come back with "oh, can you get that piece of furniture off that top shelf for me????"

luckymel

Viddie, I didn't have trouble all along with Taxol, no. I did great, for the most part - didn't miss a day of work until after #10, I think it was. It was easy - really no noticeable side effects until about #7, when I began to feel the beginnings of neuropathy in my hands and feet, and some leg aching. It was just about two or three weeks ago that it hit me, and it was like all the side effects I should have had all through AC and Taxol were just saved up and hit me all at once. Even now, it's not like I'm miserable, I just can't do anything without this extreme fatigue and weakness stopping me. They did check my blood counts every weak, and I did ok with those. Never needed Neulasta or Neupogen, and I got Aranesp every two or three weeks (I forget which) for mild anemia (Hgb never went below 10, so not too bad). I don't know why I've reacted like this, but that's just my experience, and doesn't seem to be that common. Don't worry - I'm sure you'll do fine with it. I guess you can't expect to have no side effects at all, but most people say Taxol is easier, so here's hoping it will be for you.
Hugs,
Mel

skyedivine

Hey Ladies,
Viddie said everything so well, dittos to Jan on prayers and to Rebecca cheers on the help. I have such a hard time asking people but I think it's stupid of me to be that way. But if you have young kids at home, help has got to be mandatory!
Mel, that closet metaphor came from you, really. The image struck such a chord with me. And I know what you mean about being afraid before the last Taxol. My last one hit so hard that it's hard to contemplate going through that again. But I'm going to rag on my onc a bit over not giving me the choice of having lesser doses. I will not be so compliant over Herceptin doses.

Melia, congrats on the last one! The worst has got to be over now.

Viddie and Caya, I joined the HER2 site today. I feel like a cheating spouse or perhaps a bigamist, but I promise to stay faithful to this group as well. I'm much more emotionally anchored here, but Herceptin is kind of a minor concern here with such a minority of us on it and I hate to take up too much space about it. I did find out that se's are more common than the lit would have us believe.

Lynn, feeling any better?

As for me, I had my first semi-normal day since last Taxol. The chest pains stopped, the rash diminished, and I was able to go to the P.O. AND the grocery store, as well as take a short walk. Mizsissy, you sound like a dynamo on your bike, I don't think I could pedal ten feet. But a 15-minute walk felt darn good. I even had energy to make homemade beef soup. NOW I'm beat.

Viddie, yeah, we are special all right, LOL! We'll finish the Herceptin at the same time. THEN I'm gonna celebrate. - Skye
PS I just realized there is a whole page of posts I haven't read so this message may suffer from severe time lag

mer1957

I'm back from Houston - hey Mel I could have visited. I was there to visit my son. Although we had a good time with him and my DH and I got to spend quality time together, it was a mixed bag. I am proud of my son but there are things about him that drives me nuts. Guess it's good for now that we are apart. Rebecca and all others with little ones, I don't know how you do it with bc.
RobinJaye- I just got a partial period this month along with hot flashes. Isn't that wonderful?
Lynn and Tae, I hope you feel better.
For those on Taxol, the last one #4 was not as bad as #3 for some reason for me. I do still have numbness in two of my toes but it has only been two weeks since my last chemo. Joni - congrats on your last chemo
Who was it that was excited to be getting underarm hair? I hope that is not wear my hair starts growing first. It did not grow at all during Taxol and now two weeks later, still nothing. In fact, I think my eyelashes got thinner on Taxol.

Mizsissy, I'm done with chemo, mastectomy 5/1 and then rads and Tamoxifen.

Jan, I am so sorry to hear about your aunt. My BIL has decided not to do any more chemo for his Stage IV lung cancer (nonsmoker, age 47). He figures anymore would be the end. He thinks he has a couple of more weeks of being able to get around and then ... It is very sad because he is such a fighter.

Joni -- sorry RED WINGS RULE!

Wow, there were a lot of posts to read while I was gone! You girls are busy. I look forward every day to see what is going on in your lives. Mizsissy, I didn't vote because I am still not sure, yes I want to get together but not sure how it will work out, with work and finances. I'll just have to play it as it goes.

I am still confused that my plastic surgeon called me after I had decided not to do the reconstruction because of the rads, or until after the rads. I think I am going to call my surgeon who is doing the mastectomy and tell her (since she referred him to me) that this guy is confusing me. Is he looking out for my best interests or his pocketbook? If he said I would have a better chance for a good result by waiting, why is he now calling and say, maybe we can expand fast? My chemo brain can't figure him out -- other than I don't really like him.

Caya

Good evening ladies -
I had a pretty good day - I did a brisk walk for 30 minutes on my treadmill, showered, had a nice lunch, did some work in my home office in the afternoon, made a salad, marinated some chicken breasts in garlic and low sodium soya sauce - almost sounds like my old BBC life - then by about 4:30 I gravitated to my couch and dozed until nearly 6:00 - chemo fatigue - hits out of nowhere!!
Rebecca - I certainly hope you got your rest and had a peaceful evening.
Mel - congrats tomorrow on your last Taxol and celebrate!
Viddie - yes we're special... us her2neu+ gals - it looks like you, Tina, Skye and I and I think RobbinJaye will be on Herceptin - but luckily we are able to have it, as Skye says it is "the magic bullet". I'm going to ask my onc. exactly when I'll be starting it - I go for Taxotere #2 on Thursday, and then my final one (yes!!) is May 10th - so I'm guessing end of May, early June.
Skye - I'm also on the Her2 neu website as "caya" - there are some great women there, some who are long term survivors, with alot of information and good advice to share. However I also feel more emotionally attached to this board, probably because many of us post daily, or at least every few days. I'm glad your s/es have diminished.
Lynn - out of the chemo fog yet? hope so.
Mary - if you're not that thrilled with this plastic surgeon, ask around for another one - you really need to love your ps -
caya.