Prayer request...unusual perhaps

mrsjck

I am asking prayer for myself...for some difficult decisions to make...some regarding bc and bone mets treatment options...which lead to life choices...husband retires this week and wants to relocate to the southwest...we had dreamed of this opportunity for years...but now, since January's dx, I'm feeling a mite scared...of change..of finding new medical facilities, doctors, support...yet, there is a Spiritual calling in my heart that this is a good thing...to start anew in another area...our 5 kids are grown and out...on their own. I guess my request is that I find peace with the decision...to step out in faith and wait for guidance on the more practical issues...I seem to be heading in that direction with all the things I am doing/preparing...yet, somewhere inside I also feel that I am preparing to have my affairs in order...in case....ya know??? I'm not feelin much like a warrior with this...more of that scared little child...hard to get excited about this...want to...need to...husband doesn't seem to understand my fears...how could he? Most of the time I forge ahead and step out in faith on lots of issues...and always grew through them...and I want that with this...truly I do...I guess I can sum it up like this: I want to BE in the southwest...I don't want to GO to the southwest...it's the process that scares me...the how to's and where's of it all...sooooooooooooo ask God to speak clearly to me...to calm the child...through the storm...thanks.

Sierra

Hi Jan:

I hear what you are saying
and seems your heart
is in the Southwest
but all the inbetween
parts that trouble you

I send an abundance of
good thoughts and healing
your way

May your dreams in this area
come true
May your changes not be
as burdens but come easily


May our Higher Power watch
over you

((((Jan))))


Gentle Hugs

Anonymous

Praying with you Jan,that you find peace with your decision. Follow your heart.

cowgirl

Praying for you Jan! God will send you the answer!

suzie14

Praying for you, Jan, that you find peace in your decision.

Hugs,
suzie

csp

Jan sending up prayers that the Lord will help you
in making the right decision for you.

Hugs,
Carrie

mrsjck

My heartfelt thanks to all of you for your anticipated prayers...starts tomorrow with my onc appointment and more questions about treatment possibilities...and hopefully some medical answers...meanwhile, we are plugging along...had several affirmations that this is the right decision for us...to relocate...we are tentatively planning a flight in September to El Paso followed by a drive to Las Cruces NM and then on to Tucson area...we've been to other parts of AZ in the past 4 years to scout around...this is a more focused trip and then will return here to MA to close up shop...our dreams were before bone mets dx...that put a crimp in some of our plans...but not a chasm....not yet anyway...sooooooooooo if any of you caring ladies would care to share if you are geographically in those areas I would appreciate it...like maybe names of hospitals, clinics, etc...personally thanks to Wildflowers for her input on some of that...anyone can PM me if this in inappropriate for this board...many, many thanks and blessings...first to the Lord...and then to all of you...

beachcottage

Jan

Sending you
my thoughts
and prayers

Please keep
us updated

we are here
for you



xoxo
Patti

mrsjck

Hello gals...I am making this intentionally short...I am scared...dealing with results of today's appointment...need some time to sort it all out...kindly continue praying for me and mine....will try to keep in touch soon...not doing too good right now...thank you.

sharon68

Jan,

Take all the time you need to " sort things out"....I will keep you in prayer. There's nothing easy or quick about these decisions.
((((hugs)))) Sharon F

Anonymous

Thinking of you Jan and sending prayers for you as well.

cowgirl

Jan still praying for you as you muddle through all of this!

susanmcm

HI Jan,
I went through something like this recently. I finished my treatments on August 17 and my husband found out he was "being retired" in November. In our case we fixed up our house, sold our house and moved to Southwest Mo in January. I was very worried about changing doctors but so far I am pleased wtht the ones I hve.

Get in touch with new doctors as soon as you can. This should be easy if your insurance is changing. As a new patient it might take a while to get in. i was without an onc or about 3 months and felt totally naked!

Get a notebook and start writing every thing down. Everythig you need in one place. Wherever you can pay people to do work for you, clean out the house, pack household goods, do that. You are not a full strenght right now.

I'd be happy to talk with you if you want to pm me.

of course I will be prayin for you. The Father will calm his children.

God Bless
Susan

csp

Jan I am keeping you in my prayers lighting a candle for you~~~



Hugs,
Carrie

beachcottage

For Jan

xoxo
Patti

beachcottage

you are in my thouhgts
and prayers Jan

xoxo
Patti

mrsjck

Hello ladies, I'm here to gather some hope for myself and my family...last Friday the oncologist told me that the swelling in my lower spine is not due to the bone mets but from radiation damage...and cannot have further rads to that area...which is my most involved location of the mets. Also told me that I need to stay on monthly Zometa and Arimidex as they are my only shot right now at keeping things controlled and in balance between the little suckers eating my bone and the bone loss from drugs and the infusion to keep bones stronger...I understood all that...even accepted it...but when he said extensive involvment of "bone marrow" I nearly dropped off the planet...I had obviously been in denial land with that terminology...never used before in my presence...but has some serious connotations to me and my family personally...we were under the mistaken impression that the cancer cells were attacking from outside to inside and found out, naturally, it is just the opposite...so to simplify my discourse...it is on the inside of the inside...and that's way deep to me...of course, I am a strong Christian and realize nothing is impossible with God...with Christ Who Strengthens Me...it just took us a few days to adjust to the new terminology and what it implies...my husband's first wife died of bc...we've raised our 5 blended kids...4 girls with bc in their family histories...1 son...the words "bone marrow" shake us to the very core because of memories with Suzan...we have all been doing lots of crying and sharing since Friday...probably more than the last 11 years combined...coping is hard...we have taken some major steps to simplify our lives; to live it to the fullest...to find some worthwhile endeavor for both hubby and me...he retired Saturday...so we can have some quality time together...wherever that is...because,quite frankly ladies, this is the proverbial monkey wrench...I realize nothing much has changed pre-Friday to today...other than our perception of it all...if there is a prayer request in all of this rather lengthy epistle...it is this...for the Serenity Prayer to be our focus more than ever...and to remember that God is in control, always and forever...and I am His child willing to follow His lead...wherever it is...until He calls me HOME. Thank you and God Bless You All.

Anonymous

Jan, you and your family remain in my thoughts and in my prayers for serenity, for your spirit and faith, and for your quality of life. Bless you all.

csp

Jan,
I thought like you did that bone mets were from
the outside in.

I too have compared past experience with Cancer
with loved ones, to my sisters dx.
I understand that thought process too well.
And it took me awhile, but I know in my heart that
each and every person is different and responds
different , I learned that from these boards.

I fully expect my sister and you to do well,
I am praying for you Jan and your family
that you will have total response to treatment

For you and all of us ~




God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.

Hugs,
Carrie

cowgirl

Jan,
I am so sad to hear your news, because it shook you so badly. I am so pleased DH retired and you and your family can make every day count. I have complete faith in your faith and the love of the Lord. I will continue to pray for your every need!

rockongal

Jan,
You & your family are in my prayers. As cowgirl says, I also have faith in your faith...the Lord will be with you & your family.
Kim

csp

Prayers and lighting a candle for you Jan ~



Carrie

mrsjck

Hello, and thank you for all the prayers offered on my behalf. I haven't felt much like "talking" lately...my news from 7/6 at onc was a bit distressing...this is what he said to me "you have clusters of tumors in your bone marrow; major areas are spine, hips, pelvis, buttocks, femur with other areas that we haven't told you about". He also said the inflammation in lower spine is damage from the rads in January and I have to live with that and try to manage the pain/swelling. Now I also have LE on right underarm which is not the site of original bc. And then I whacked my shin and got a dandy of a bone bruise; tripped over my own feet and jammed big toe joint to the point of not being able to walk and am now in a hard bottom boot to keep from bending until it heals. So, that has put me in a tailspin...I am hanging onto the fact that the tumor markers are still going down and the MRIs still show improvement. He is trying to keep my bone loss balanced and stable but emphatically stated that the damage has been done (undiagnosed for approx. 2 years in spite of regular exams and mamms). I thank my good Lord for the fact that there is no cancer showing in liver, lungs or reproductive organs. Doesn't mean I'm not scared...but it does mean that Jim and I are no longer talking about going to the southwest...when pressed to talk freely to me, he admitted he would rather be here amongst family and friends should anything go wrong; that we can no longer do the motorcycle together; can no longer go rough camping. He did a lot of private crying and rehashing old memories (first wife died of bc). So, we have decided to fly out to KY to see son and family there rather than camping it; have decided to go see Grand Canyon rather than scout out living arrangements; have decided to "vacation" together and have some allowable fun while we can...and stay living here. That's our plan...and because there is no doubt anymore I believe it is God's plan for us...at this time...for this year...who knows what the future holds except God anyway. This has been a rough year (my only brother died in January of cancer) and then we got my dx...I think time to do some internal adjustments is in order...so, thanks for listening to me, ladies, and I will stay in touch...I love the freedom of being able to pray, ask for prayer, and receive answers...you are a meaningful inspiration and in deep humility, I thank you.

csp

Jan,
You have been in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
I hardly Know what to say but I care.

I love your new plans,and that you both have a plan that is giving you both some Peace of mind.
I am so glad you checked in with us, I will contine to lift
You, Jack and your family in prayer .

Hugs,
Carrie

Anonymous

(((((((((((((((((((((((Jan)))))))))))))))))))) and one for (((((((((((((((((((((((Jim)))))))))))))))))))) for all that you have been coping with and working through these last days.

You lift my heart Jan. You have received crushing news that has thrown you completely and has made you both sit back and re-evaluate where you are in life, what options you have and what choices will be made.

It would be so easy to sit back and say "that's it then" because your plans have been halted. And yet you both did some private soul searching, allowed yourselves to mourn and came together to plan a new future, taking what you love, what you want to do and working it into something that is a better fit.

Bless you both. You inspire in the way you think, feel and move forward. And your love for one another speaks volumes.

Holding you in my heart and in my prayers every day.

PuppyFive

THE RAINBOW IS GODS PROMISE! the rainbow is gods promise of hope for you and me, and though the clouds hang heavy and the sun we cannot see,We know above the dark clouds that fill the stormy sky,Hopes rainbow will come shining through When the clouds have drifted by. FOR YOU JAN AND JIM,debbyfive (BY HELEN STEINER RICE)

cowgirl

Jan,
I am thrilled of your plans, this is a time to change but not abandon having experiences. I am sure this is hard on your DH, but he will enjoy spending precious memories with you!
I am praying for you Jan!

csp

Prayers going up for you and Jim,
Living each day , making happy memories.
You both are an inspriation and I see Gods Love shining through
your words Jan~

PuppyFive

JAN AND JIM, may god give you both a wonderful day,sending a big hug your way. debbyfive

csp

Praying for happy days filled with love for you and your family~



Carrie

csp