anyone starting chemo in Nov 2005

Odalys

Hi ladies.

Well, this is day six of my last AC treatment and I am on pins and needles wondering if I will get that painful side effect on day seven. The whole hand-foot syndrome seems to be better controlled so I’m hoping the overall body pain is related and will not hit me this time around. Life would be so much better without it. But if it does, I have the pain killers and I plan to sleep it off for two days. Bummer…I was hoping to get some house cleaning done this weekend.



Glyn and Val – Welcome! Glad you found us. Glyn, great to hear we were able to provide some support during your 2 surgeries without us knowing. It's amazing how a few kind words and camaraderie can get us through the difficult times. Keep coming back.



Nancy – Thanks. Our family could use some peace right about now. Some days I feel like Dorothy just following the yellow brick road. If I only had some magic slippers!



Anna- I can relate to the effects of decadron (notice my lengthy posts). Some days I can’t stop talking…yikes! As for the puppy situation, we may be looking to adopt a puppy this year too. Our seven year old wants a “real” puppy for 2006. That was his New Year’s resolution. We were stalling with toy ones but I think he caught on. Ay…I just don’t have the energy for a new puppy right now. Plus the whole low immune issue. We will see. BTW- Thanks for the image, sounds lovely. I actually enjoy guided imagery and often drift out to sea (hence my avatar). Now I can picture us all there.



Grace – My AC treatments have actually felt better with less side effects. It could be because the first dose was too high and they had to adjust it. What seems to be getting worse is the energy level. Some days I am wiped out! My legs feel weak, and my mind just wonders. I find myself dosing off if I sit still for a while. As for my emotions…well some days are better than others. There are times when I don’t want to see another “pink’ ribbon around me or hear the word BC. Some days I can't barely get through the day without crying.



Hope I replied to all the post. Take care ladies.

Hugs..

Anonymous

Hi Ladies!
A warm welcome to Glyn-we are glad you found us!

Anna-I loved your image of us all on the beach saying the Serenity Prayer. Did you all know there is more to that prayer than most people know about? I was about to type it up for you, but with our Christmas decorations up, I can't seem to find where we put it, so I am going to try to type it from memory...I'll correct my mistakes when I find it!!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Taking each day at a time,
Taking each moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.

(this is the part I'm fuzzy on...)
Accepting His will as it is,
Not as I would have it.

That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.

I think I missed a verse there....It's an amazing poem, isn't it?

Still freaking out about tomorrow's new medicine...I hope I don't feel to lousy....
Love and prayers to all....Debbie

Anonymous

Ah-ha!!!! I got it!!!!
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.


hee-hee...I totally screwed it up!!!! Debbie

AnnaM

Debbie, thank you for finding the rest of that meaningful prayer. Some of the lines were lost to me. I have printed out your post and will picture all my angels on that beautiful beach, gaining strength, peace and wholeness together for the new year.

Anna

Marcia320

Hi Glyn - glad you joined the group. I just had my 3rd CMF today - the cytoxan really gave me a headache today. Went to Ruby Tuesday's for lunch - hope that wasn't a mistake
My first treatment went so well - thought - hey this isn't bad at all - no problem! Ha! As you may know, each treatment seems to make me a bit more queasy and tired - which reminds me - I need to go take my Kytril when I'm done here. Well, I don't mean to whine - the other ladies have a much more harsher treatments but I'm glad to chat with another CMF gal, too. And good news - my counts have been so good I don't have to do weekly blood work - just have to go 3 wks at my next treatment

Debbie - good luck tomorrow
Odalys - hope you are feeling better - prayers for you and your Mom

Kim & Anna - hope things went well

Kaye - prayers for you also - worried about you

Hmmm... my post is getting long also - could it be the decadron???

And thank you Debbie - I didn't know all of the Serenity Prayer

Again, ladies - thank you all!
take care

mef_rn98

Haven't posted in a while, but have been reading along and keeping you all in my prayers. Debbie, thanks so much for posting the rest of the Serenity Prayer...it is so beautiful, I got a chill reading it. I'm going to print it out and keep it beside my bed.
Welcome to the newcomers! Sorry you had to join this group, but it is a wonderful source of inspiration and support on this difficult journey!
I can definitely relate to the decadron buzz...I get my chemo late in the afternoon on Mondays, and after the Benadryl wears off, the decadron buzz lasts forever. I slept from 11:30pm to 2:30am Monday night, and even though I was exhausted, I just couldn't go back to sleep. I finally took one of my pain pills left over from my port placement so I could sleep last night. I felt so much better today after a good night's sleep!
Kaye--hope you are doing well, I've been sending some special prayers your way!
Oops, dinner is done, gotta go, I'll try to get back online later!
Love to all,
Mary Beth

LizM

Hi Ladies,

Debbie, thanks so much for posting the words to the prayer.

Anna, loved your post. I too become wordy when I'm taking the decadrone (sp). Enjoy the energy while you have it.

Gyn, Welcome. You will definately find support from this group. They are a wonderful bunch of ladies.

I am on day 8 after AC#3. Can't wait to finish the AC next week and move on to Taxol. Who else in this group will be doing 4 Taxol treatments? I am curious to hear from someone who has started them. I am so tired of this bad taste in my mouth and was curious if I will still have it while on Taxol. Seems to be worse this time and just doesn't go away no matter what I eat or chew. I absolute hate water and am drinking less this time. I hope I don't regret it.

WandaG

LizM,
I started Taxol today. I'm doing dose dense. So far so good. Of course this is just the first day. I get the Neulasta shot tomorrow. I'm beginning to think Neulasta is worse than chemo. I always get such achy bones after the shot. I'm so glad I don't have to take the steroids after taxol like with A/C. I was always so weepy for 2-3 days when I came off the steroids. Taxol infusion takes longer, but so far I feel better after this treatment than after A/C. My oncology nurse tells me I'm different. I had an IV of benedryl and never shut an eye for sleep. I'll post later as to the long term effects of this Taxol treatment.

lana17775

Mornin' Ladies-
Just caught up on a couple of days of posting. Welcome to the newcomers - sorry you had to join our group, but glad you found us; you'll find lots of support and good information here.
Had AC #3 last week and cannot believe the fatigue this time - I'm really aggravated - I thought this week would be a good one! Have to pick my activities - went grocery shopping on Monday and that was it for the day. Last AC is next week, then on to Taxol dose dense. I wondered if the Neulasta shots would continue through Taxol, but someone said yes - rats -- had a day of really bad bone aches with the last one. Ugh! What a complainer! I hate this!
In the process of putting in for a leave of absence from work - finding that I'm just not getting in the time that I thought I would! The leave will start the day of my next treatment - next Wednesday; in the meantime, I'm lucky to be able to work from home and not have to expend extra energy getting into the office. Decided that when I have a good day, I don't want to spend it working!
Know that you all continue to be in my prayers for strength, good recovery outcomes as well as gratitude for you all.
Chins up!
Lana
PS -- thanks for the rest of the Serenity Prayer -- its a keeper!

LAT56

Debbie - Thanks so much for the complete Serenity Prayer. It is beautiful. Hope things went well for you today.

MaryBeth - I also am having trouble sleeping. I can't take Benadryl as I take Allergra D for allergies. I was told not to take the sleep medicine for more than 2 nights. I try to keep busy during the day, but my energy level is so low.

Lana - I am on the 12 week Family Leave now but it will end on the 26th of this month. That means I will lose my benefits at work as the COBRA plan is too expensive. (I have optical, dental, life, & diability insurance - my husband carries our health insurance.) It doesn't seem fair that we have to deal with such issues when we are already on a tough enough journey. There is no way that I could work when going thru chemo.

Many of you have written about decadron. Apparently it is partially to blame for the rise in my blood sugar. So now I have to watch my diet. How ironic that the first of the taste buds to come back are the "sweet" ones. Treatment #3 of ACF will be on Monday, hopefully the blood sugar will be lower & the WBC will be higher.

You are all in my thoughts & prayers.
Take care,
LAT56

kim825

Welcome Glyn. I am so glad you found us. You wil find a great bunch of women here. Debbie thanks for the prayer. Love that prayer. Been thinking of Kaye. She hasn't been around lately. Hope your treatment is going well. Anna, how was your treamtment yesterday. My 4 treatment of Taxotere was the same like the first 3. I went to new oncologist. Great doctor and great man. He sees patients before every treatment. Then we went to infusion center and waited over an hour for a room. All infusions room are private which is nice, but the wait could be long.
Went over PET scan results and decided to continue with the Taxotere for 3 more times, do a PET Scan and then decide what to do, where it be surgery or more chemo. I guess a lot depends on the breast mass.

Hope you are all having a great day.

Kim

spirit3kd

Hello Ladies~ I haven't posted in a while, since my treatments can't be continued. I do not want to scare anyone in this group, as you all seem to be doing well and I am so thankful for that. Remember my cancer is a very aggressive type that I originally got back in 1999. Went into remission for awhile and lived a good six more years, and possibly a few more if I am lucky.

I can't take chemo, as you know they pulled me from that as the cancer has now moved into the brain. As far as the whole brain radiation treatment. I have opted out!! I have to have a certain amount of decadron in me for the brain swelling and I can't tolerate that drug, not even a small amount. They still want to take a chance and try, since I am terminal and won't make it without any treatment. But there are significant risks to the whole brain radiation with permanent memory loss and possible stroke.

I have made the decision to live comfortable as long as I can, my doctor is setting me up with Hospice care.

I wish you all the best.....I will continue to post from time to time to let you know how things are going.

Everyone....hang in there and beat this thing......ok?

Hugs....Kaye

MomaJunk

Kaye,
I will be praying for you. We all know this could be us and hope it isn't. Keep your good attitude, it could be helpful and remember miracles happen. Your prognosis doesn't scare me so much as it saddens me.
Nancy

lana17775

Kaye-
You seem very much at peace with your decision against more treatment and I'm glad that you have reached the point of being comfortable with that decision; I'm sure its not been an easy one to make. You've put up a valiant fight, set a fine example to all of us on this thread by doing all that you thought reasonable to fight this horrendous disease.
You will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. You are loved and thought of often.
Take care,
Lana

kim825

Kaye, I am glad you posted. I am always keeping you in my prayers. That must have been a very difficult decision to make.

Lots of hugs and continued prayers for you.

Kim

mef_rn98

Kaye--I deeply admire the strength you have shown in your decision. I'm so sorry you have had to make it. My prayers for continued strength and peace are with you.
Love,
Mary Beth

LAT56

Kaye - You are a true inspiration by showing such strength and courage.
I hope that you find peace in knowing that others care. You are in my thoughts & prayers.
LAT56

LizM

Kaye, you have been in my thoughts and prayers from the first time you posted on this thread and will continue to be. Liz

Anonymous

Oh Kaye, I am so deeply saddened that this horrid disease is claiming another one of us. You are so courageous in your decision-my mom made the same decision when a year of chemo was enough for her, and she wanted to be comfortable for as long as possible. We all honor and respect the choice you made. I will continue to pray for you and your family. We all love you deeply. I'm so glad you posted-I've been wondering about you.
Lots of love, Debbie

grace05

Kaye, keep the good fight of faith, that's right miracles do happen. We will be praying for strength, peace and certainly there is lots of love here.



Someone once said, Life is a draw without an eraser



Blessings!

Grace

AnnaM

Oh Kaye, I will continue to carry you in my heart and to pray for you every day.

Anna

Mary-Lou

Kaye, My love and prayers are with you and your family. I have worked with hospice myself and if you should need an extra shoulder to lean on just email me. It is in my profile.

God bless you...........

Mary-Lou

Debbie, thanks so much for that wonderful poem.

wenblown

Kaye - May you have peace in your life. You have such courage and strength.

wenblown

Lana & Omag:

I start taxol on Thursday. I am very nervous about the reaction my body will have. The A/C has really sucked the life out of me. (complaining-sorry) I have been very weepy this last treatment. I am also finding hard to get up and go to work. I find myself biting people's heads off when they try to say optimistic things like: "You are halfway there, there is light at the end of the tunnel" I am finding it hard to keep a positive attitude. I feel like all I do is complain. On top of that I have gained like 8-10 lbs. around my middle. I look like a umpah lumpah. sounds funny when I say it out loud...

I keep praying, maybe not enough, hoping to find peace. I have said that wonderful prayer that Debbie printed. I really like it.

Anyway, just some random stuff today.

AnnaM

Oh Wendy, I feel the same. I can't believe how weak I have felt since the third A/C, except for that one good week just before #4. The fourth A/C on Tuesday Jan. 3 really knocked my socks off me. I am not exactly short of breath, but I can't get a deep breath at times and I feel that fear of not being able to breathe I remember from my childhood asthma. I have the energy of a 90 year-old. No real appetite. I keep telling myself it will get better, but it feels pretty hopeless right now.

I'm scared of asking my onc. to order a heart test. If it's a MUGA there will be the fight about sticking me in my arm (I had a bilateral with nodes taken on both sides and am deathly afraid of Lymphedema). I know I should ask for an echocardiogram. If they find something going on with my heart that will mean no Herceptin with Taxol on the 21st.

I wish I didn't agonize about all these things. I am so trying to fill my head with positives. I am so lucky to have my dear husband here to help me and my daughter is visiting through the 12th and I love that. I should be up and dancing but all I can do is drag myself around.

When I wake up in fear during the night I pray thankful prayers for all the good things I have been given, and I pray for all my friends in need. I just wish I could be stronger here.

Thank you for letting me say all this.

Anna

WandaG

Wenblown I can relate to the weight gain, I told my husband I look like an egg with legs. I also would get very weepy when I was coming off the steroids.(took the steroids in IV plus 3 days after A/C). Thank goodness now that I have started taxol, 1st treatment was 1/4, I only get the steroids in premed IV.
AnnaM, I would also get short of breath and still do a little, but I attribute some of it to the steroids which caused me to retain fluids and extra weight. My breathing has not been as bad, so far, on taxol.
I started taxol 1/04, only had steroid in the IV with benadryl and zofran. The infusion took 4+ hours and the benadryl never did make me sleep. Did not sleep for 2 nights, Friday I crashed. Friday night the aches and pains started. Saturday was a down day with joint and bone pain. Today it is better and I have found walking helps with the leg pain. On taxol I don't have the blah stomach feeling, don't have to take the extra steroids after and then have the weepy days plus the ravenous appetite.

Odalys

Kaye- You're in my thoughts and prayers. May God bless you and continue to grant you peace.
Hugs...

LizM

Just finished AC#4, Woohoo! My red blood cell counts were getting low so I had to get a shot after treatment but other than that, all went well. Of course I am full of energy right now from the steroids but just took compozine and ate some mac&cheese so I will probably crash soon. So on to Taxol I go. Hopefully this crappy taste in my mouth won't continue. I know that Taxol causes other side affects but I would rather have pain in joints and peripheral nueropathy than this constant queasy feeling. Anyway, the shot for my red blood cells should keep my energy up along with the neulasta shot tomorrow. It's funny because I wasn't really feeling that tired even though my red blood cell counts were low. Hope everything goes well for those having treatment this week. You ladies are great. Liz

lana17775

Congrats Liz! Halfway there...I'm right behind you on Wednesday! I'm with you...enough of the AC -- on to the Taxol. Fingers crossed we react better!
Chin up!
Lana