2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS
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Wow! So many messages in the last 2 days. Hard to keep up. Hope my responses "catch" everyone.
Hair: I'll try wax/pomade. Don't like the stiffness of gel. This is the first time I've ever had curls in my life and I don't want to flatten them. I even have a cow-lick! I like my white color. I feel chic!
Amy: I'll pray for your fertility. I do hope you can get the results you want.
Ravdeb and tda: Sounds like great vacations! I'm hoping they are full of wonderful experiences and memories.
Nails: I never lost nails or had them get off-color. Weird. I have always had brittle, hard to grow nails. I have been trying to stop nail biting for the last 52 years (I am 53) and had just begun to achieve success before BC. I am now working at it again and have 8 decent nails. My forefingers never seem to make it. Debbie, I could never imagine doing what you do with your nails.
Debbie: loved your daughter's poem. What a lucky mum you are.
Tracy: you look very good. I think younger and cuter than your first picture so many months ago. In fact, it's hard to believe it's the same woman. To me, you seem like a butterfly who has emerged from the cocoon.
Mary Anne: lovely pictures - you are looking so nice and happy.
Rosemarie, Tracy, and Sherryhair: good luck with the medical issues. Hope there is nothing to the leg clots theory. Sherry - the decision is tough. I hope you will be able to find the best choice for your life. You have our support.
It is so good to "hear" from everyone. Checking this board is one of my day's highlights.
Oh - yes - I am still planning to hike on my anniversary day, Aug 22. No, my husband is not interested in hiking. I have a dear friend who will go with me (That's a story for another day. He is the man I wish I could have married). Yesterday I bought a book - "50 Hikes In Central New York" - to help me choose where to hike. I'm leaning towards a hike in the western Adirondacks. I slacked off a bit on my walking because I overdid it and hurt my foot. It's feeling better now so I am back to counting steps and walking everywhere!
Blessings to everyone!
Mary -
well, fertility after cancer is not as fun as i thought it would be. the thing is...no one knows diddly squat about pregnancy, fertility, and cancer in young women. it sucks! so, here are my options...(instead of just waiting 5 years to see if i can get pregnant after tamoxifen)
-stop tamoxifen, harvest my eggs, and have a surrogate (eek...I was stage 3...that aint happening)
-have an egg donor, get a surrogate, and use my husband's sperm. i'm comfortable with this because we were already prepared for adoption anyways, so i like the idea that it would at least be half his baby.
-adoption...that freaks me out because a lot of agencies are not too happy about giving babies to cancer survivors.
so, i like the egg donor idea. my husband wants to wait until the winter, test my eggs to see if it's even a possibility that I could get pregnant after tamoxifen, and then determine if we want to do an egg donor and surrogate or just want to wait. we have a friend who volunteered to be our surrogate, but she hasn't gotten pregnant yet, so we're going to wait for that.
it's frustrating as hell. if i could get pregnant now, i wouldn't...i have too much to do in my life before i have children...travel, job, etc...but, it's sad...just freakin' sad for me and my husband to have to spend any time with any type of fertility specialist and wonder what the risk is of having children versus to my life expectancy. it's just not fair and i'm feeling sad for me and my husband. -
Amy, I hate to see you sad and frustrated. Like you said you have so much to do in your life and your marriage is still early. Get the info but perhaps you should just wait a bit until the dust settles on this last year.
Tomorrow my children are off to Ohio for a month to visit my ex-husband. What a break for me. I have one more week of work then 3 weeks vacation. I can already taste the freedom.I only have one appointment during my vacation so it should be quite relaxing. I will be going to my cottage on a lake. We will have quite a few visitors but most are welcome and helpful when they do arrive.
My dragon boat team is practising hard. We are one week away from our race so the coach is working us hard. I am not able to keep up the pace at all times as I am still tired but I am doing my best and the team is a great group of women.
Fists up! -
Maryanne..sounds good!!
Tracy..you have a great avatar and is truly YOU! You look beautiful on the outside just as I know that you are beautiful on the inside.
Amy.. so sorry to hear of your frustrations and the decisions you need to make. Your husband's suggestion of waiting til the winter sounds appealing as it will give you a chance to ease into a decision and know a bit more in order to make that decision. Something to consider.
So glad to hear that the most common problem among the ladies here is how to manage short hair that is growing in all different directions! may that be the most difficult problem we need to solve!!!!! And, I too, have a colic...actually two of them! wierd stuff!!! -
Mary - what sweet words! Thanks!
Amy - I am so sorry that you are faced with even another struggle. It just doesn't seem fair.
Maryanne - wow, your boat team sounds like great fun!
It's past my bedtime, so I am headed that way. Hope you all have a good Friday!
Love you! -
Why don't I see Tracy's new avatar? I've tried refreshing and all that, but it did not work.
Amy, I hope you find a resolution to your fertility dilemma.
Debbie: What a special mommy you are!
Mary-Anne: I agree with everyone about your lovely picture.
Mary: "The man I wish I could have married",,, how very intriguing. Can't wait for the next chapter in this saga.
And to everyone else: My mammo and x-rays are all fine!! I am fine!! Hip hip hooray! My love and prayers to all of you beautiful ladies. -
Amy - it does seem so unfair. I agree with your husband, it will give you time for the answer to come naturally to you.
Mary - i too am intrigued - what an interesting group we make!
Mary anne - holidays to yourself? Must be a mistake.
Brenda - fantastic news , what a start to the weekend.
My consultant has decided to send me for a bone scan, waiting time 4 months. He says there is no panic- well at least thats one person not in a rush to whip bits off of me. He told me to go and enjoy myself, have a good summer and not to worry. Why arent all apps like that?
Are we going to see any dragon boat pics? I could count looking at them as part of my exercise for the day!!
I am going to book a hotel now as we are going to Legoland for my sons birthday present. I am so excited dont know who is going to be 9, me or him!!
DEbbie -
Ravdeb - Thank you too for the kind words.... I have to tell you that my other big toe nail fell of TODAY!!!! 6 months post chemo!!!!! What a bummer, I am going for a pedicure on Wednesday and now both big toenails are just ugly nubs. Cancer - the gift that just keeps on giving! LOL :-)
Debbie - have fun at LegoLand!!!! Doesn't it feel good to have fun with things again?
Brenda - Sorry you can't see my avitar, I wonder why? It is the same pic that I posted of me and my friend a few days ago.
Mary - yes, I was quite intriguied when I read that too.... Hmmmmm..... Are we ever going to get to hear the story?
I am getting my hair trimmed and dyed tomorrow. I am going to tell her to cut it choppy (is that right?) and to put wax in it! I will try to remember to take my camera and get pics when it is done.
Have a happy Friday eveyone - I am so glad that I can sleep in tomorrow!
((Hugs))) -
Greetings!
I thought my comment about my "best friend" would get you all interested. We met 20 years ago. I "fell in love" and wanted to marry. He seemed to think there was someone he would love or like better. It's never happened. After 5 years, I married my husband. He wanted and needed me, I thought my compassion and caring was enough. We've had difficult times and I would say staying married is the hardest thing I've ever done. Don't need to go into all that.
Anyway, "GR", my friend, is the only friend or relative who NEVER failed me during cancer . . . calling every couple of days, remembering to ask about all the tests and appointments, sending gifts, hearing all my fears and tears, keeping me company in sickness and pain. My husband had a hard time talking to me at all about cancer and chose to go out bowling 3 nights a week, including every day that I had chemotherapy. I know he was scared of losing me and felt helpless, still I was disappointed. My sister, who lives close by, responded if I needed help, but was pretty distant, especially as time went on.
"GR" and I see each other once or twice a year. We live 4 hours away from each other and meet for a day or so of talk, seeing a movie, going out to eat, and the like. My husband is fully aware and, I think, is relieved that "GR" takes up the slack in terms of talking and listening to me.
Since my husband has no interest in hiking and is little support in my quest to be more healthy, "GR" has said he will go anywhere I choose and we will hike or walk or whatever I want to do to celebrate being alive on the diagnosis anniversary day, Aug 22. I just bought a book "50 Hikes in Central New York" to help me select a route. So far, I am leaning to some hikes in the western Adirondacks region.
Sometimes I think it odd that my "best friend" is another man, but true friendship is hard to find and keep. That attraction that I once had is now a solid "love" - the friendship kind that is deep and reliable and steady. I don't look back often, just once in a while, but I'm glad for this person who has stood by me.
That's the story. Do you think it is odd?
Blessings to all, -
Mary - its not odd - its beautiful. Does it matter what gender/ colour / age our friends are if they are there for us? I am glad that through all of this you have had someone, whoever it was.I count all of you as close friends and the chances are we will never be much closer than pixels on a computer screen!
Where are the Adirondacks? What are the adirondacks?? -
Damn Tracy, you look about 20 years younger now!! Nice!
Ravdeb, are you checking in from this side of the pond or are you back home already? I hope your trip is going well.
Amy, I have this feeling that you will be able to have your own children. You are young enough to give it time and let your body get back to itself. Just a feeling but I will pray for you on it.
I really need to get an avatar. I feel quite anonymous without one. -
Mary - I think it is awesome that you have such a wonderful supporter! I am so sorry that your husband wasn't there for you. I truly know what that feels like and it was very lonely for me.
We are over that now though and we have a new chance at life!!!
Debbie - meeting all of you is one of the very positive things about goint through this cancer experience.... -
tda - yes! you need an avitar! We need to put a face with the sweet, funny person that we have come to know and love!
Thanks! Everyone tells me that I am looking really good. I guess I don't really feel that I am, but it is good to hear.
Ravdeb is still here in the states and will be until sometime in August. I sure wish I could have gotten to meet her in person while she is here.
Amy - I agree, give it some time and see what happens. I know it is hard to wait but it will be worth it. -
Helllooooo...........
I'm on this side of the pond, tda, as Tracy mentioned. Wish I could meet all of you who are in the States but doesn't seem like it will be possible. However, there will be a few Rocktober girls I hope to see in the places that I will be in. We are working on that meeting!!
mary...I don't think it's odd at all that you have this good friend. I also have a close friend who I grew up with. We both married but we are very close and he has been a wonderful support for me (my dh has been, too, but they each give a different kind of support). I think that each friend you meet on your journey is there for a reason and if this friend can be there for you for your special needs, then so be it. Don't fight it. Enjoy it.
tda..get an avatar..wanna see the face that goes with that great sense of humor you have. -
tda...time for an avatar!
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I have two pages to catch up to, I am only o n page 92 of the Oct girls. I just saw Rosemarie's new pic!! I love your hair!!!!!
Tracy, I love your hair, too! Did you find out the name of our bc sister in your area? -
Mary,I think it is a wonderful story.I think anyone who has a loving supportive dh has a wonderful story and I admit I am envious of those of you who fall into this catagory.You have the good fortune of having a good dh and a wonderful friend you are blessed that way.
Tracy:You look just totally wonderful.Be sure and post a new pic with your new doo.
I am off for a bone scan next week,I have been having a lot of joint pain and now I found what feels like a bone growing out of my left wrist the side the ca was on and it hurts.I just found it on wed,and am very nervous about it.My onc told me that bc usually eats a hole in the long bones and dosent attack the joints.Just 3 months ago I was pronounced NED.But as far as I am concerned it is arthritis.not mets I refuse to accept that.
Wish me luck girls with the bone scan.Will let everyone know what comes of it. -
Oh, remember that holiday weekend when I was hostage to the thesis? Well, it was accepted I got a C, the only C I have ever had in my entire college career but I could care less, Mother's Masters diploma is in the mail!! If I don't read another thing as long as I live it would be too soon!!
My plastic surgeon released me from the dominatrix girdle and I can roam the earth unrestrained. They are calling in the nipple reconstruction to the insurance company and I want to schedule it for when the weather gets cooler. Enough of the cutting already. I want this port out too. -
Tracy: I finally see your new avatar. I like your pensive pose.
Mary: You are fortunate to have a kind of love that transcends mere "romantic" love.
tda: Watch out world for the unrestrained version of this wild woman!
Robin: Sounds like arthritis to me too. Good luck to you.
Debbie: Have fun at Legoland!
To everyone else: Have a very nice weekend! -
Brenda - glad you can see me hee hee hee.... Hi!
tda- CONGRATS ON THE MASTERS!!!! What an accoomplishment!!
I am headed out this morning to help my Kiwanis Group build the Beer Garden for our community festival that is next weekend. Not sure what I can do, it is mostly a guy with toys (power tools & cherry pickers to hang the lights) kind of thing.
Then later today off to get my hair dyed! I am so nervous about this and just think a few months ago I just wanted hair!
Have a great day today! -
Thanks to all of you for your supportive comments about my best friend. You all are one of the other pillars of support I have counted on during this last 10 months.
Someone asked me recently why I have not joined in a support group that is offered in our community. I had to think about that. Partly, I didn't have the energy to go out to events and meetings. As you know, I worked full-time through it all and most nights just wanted to come home and rest. But, I also realized that I felt so much support here, from you, that I didn't feel neglected or cut-off from the "sisterhood". Yeah, I know it's a group no one wants to join but if you have to face this experience, a group like ours is essential. In talking about this experience, I realized once again that I really appreciated and still do appreciate all of you . . . your humor, your honesty, your sharing, your responsiveness.
I wish blessings for everyone,
Mary -
Mary, I don't think it's weird either. Especially since your husband knows of your best friend, it makes it nice for you to have that support 'in real life' that we all need. I
tda -- you mean you have been restrained? Oh my, I can't wait til you get wild and we hear what wild really is!!! You crack me up girl!
Amy, so sorry about your fertility issues. But adoption, egg donor, they are all babies that will need love from a mommy and you will be a very loving mommy!! Babies and little kids are so much.
Brenda, congrats on being NED!! Great news!
Ravdeb, I sure wish you were comin' to California. It would be such fun to meet you. I know I would cry. I am trying to plan a little trip up to Bakersfield to meet Ter ... a little day trip for lunch. I'll cry then, too.
Debbie, great hair on you, too!!! -
Boy, it has been crazy around here. I started back to work last week so I haven't been on much.......
Paula, Glad to see you are back on the board. Thanks for reminding me about Nioxin, I have looked at it a couple of times but never bought it. I wasn't sure which one to buy. I think it is time to give it a try. Like you, I am also having trouble with my weight. I am trying to exercise but I am eating more than I should so I am not losing.
Debbie, I am sorry there is no tumbling locks, at least not yet.............ha
Rosemarie, I was expecting to see you in fire red hair......I like the color and your hair looks cute ....and yes, I do have aches and pains in my knee's, back and everywhere. Do you think it is from the taxol? Did you have that? I have been on my feet a lot more lately. Plus I have been bike riding, walking, etc. so maybe it is from that.
Maryanne, I like your picture. Your hair does look similar to mine but you look better in it then I do..........ha....I have been having a hard time finding pomade/wax. I found something at the flea market today that I am going to try.
Ravdeb, Are you still in the USA? I hope so and I think you should stay here with all the fighting going on in Israel.....I am worried about you going back there.
TracySeattle, It sounds like you are doing great.......Maybe you should have done this years ago. You sound so happy, I hope you are. I envy your strength. Oh speaking of big toes....I bumped and cracked my big toe and when I when to cut off the piece of nail I discovered there is another nail growing under it. Another thing to blame on Taxol. By the way, I like your picture.
Amy, I will try and get a new picture on here. I have to get the pictures out of my camera first since I am out of memory. Good luck with adoption if you choose that route or having a surrogate. My daughter has signed up with an adoption agency. They frown against surrogate's in this state. She is diabetic and had such a hard time when she had my grandson that they have decided to adopt. She hasn't had any luck so far but her girlfriend and her husband adopted a beautiful baby girl only 2 months after they signed up with the adoption agency. Would you believe 2 months after that she found out she was pregnant. The baby is due in September. So you never know, miracles do happen.
Marymelodi, Walking in the Adirondacks? Best of Luck . I wish I had that much energy. I think that is so nice that you have such a nice friend, male or female, to share things with and to get the support that you need.
Brenda, ...... Wonderful news about your tests. Doesn't it feel good when you get good new's for a change?
Robin, Good Luck with your bone scan. I also have a sore bone in my wrist but I think I had it before I got BC so I am not too worried. I hope your's turn's out to be nothing too. You are right, it is probably just arthritis. At least that is what I am blaming mine on. Keep us posted ......
TDA, waiting for that avatar..........
Well, I hope I got to everyone and that you all had a nice weekend.
Graycie -
Let me tell y'all about liposuction. I thought it was like on 'Dr. 90210' where they pump in thge fluid, suck out the fat and you go home with a flat stomach. Aw hell no! You have to wear a compression garment (aka harness) for six weeks to keep your skin from flopping all over.
When you first get it done you have to wear the garment for at least a week straight, no taking it off. It has a hole in the seat so you can wash Blossom and go to the bathroom. That's the nighttime girdle, the daytime one has a snap crotch and has less fabric than the other one so its smooth under your clothes.
That girdle was so damned tight that it used to wake me up from sleeping at night!! As I shrank it eased up and I had my last PS appointment last week and he told me that I don't have to wear it anymore. I'd been in them blasted girdles since April 11th. I could only take them off for one hour a day in order to get the best results.
Having said all that, I would recommend it to anyone! I love my look and am glad to see that last of that chemo pudge!!
Thanks for the congrats on completing my masters. I will post an avatar when I come back from my holiday. I should have some good photos if my drunken friends can hold the camera steady! -
LauraGTO, you look fabulous!! I love your hair-doo!
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Doing some research on healthy eating, here is what I copied ... I started using organic right after my dx....
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Building blocks of a healthy immune system:
Whole Foods: Whole foods are foods that are unprocessed and have a high nutrient content. Generally speaking, whole foods are foods that occur in nature as opposed to foods that come in a box. Whole foods include fresh fruits and vegetables, grains, fish, nuts and seeds. Fresh fruits and vegetables have consistently been shown to provide a protective effect against cancer.2,3,4 In addition, whole foods are often high in fiber, which has been shown to reduce the risk of some cancers.5
Antioxidants: Antioxidants are substances, such as vitamin E, vitamin C, and beta carotene, which keep cells healthy by protecting them from the damaging effects of oxidation. The higher the level of antioxidants in the blood, the better protection from cell damage. Recent research indicates that adherence to the Mediterranean diet (based on whole foods) results in a higher level of antioxidants in the blood, which results in protection against cell damage and ultimately, cancer.6 Foods rich in antioxidants include carrots, pumpkin, squash, citrus fruits, bell peppers and tomatoes.
Essential Fatty Acids: Omega-3 fatty acids are healthy fats that the body needs. Omega-3 fatty acids are found in tuna, salmon, mackerel, avocadoes, flaxseeds and flax oil. According to a recent Japanese study, omega-3 fatty acids not only boost immunity but have antitumor effects as well.7
Organic Foods: Organic foods are free of agricultural chemicals such as herbicides and pesticides. In addition, organic foods do not contain growth hormones, antibiotics or genetically modified organisms (GMOs). Choose organic foods whenever possible. -
Article on Fertility AFTER treatment
Amy, there were more articles on that website, I went to the home page and did a search. There was an article that discussed low dose Tamoxifen to stimulate the ovaries, etc ...
I have bookmarked this webmag for future articles!! -
thanks i appreciate it
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Kelly, Great Information, I try to eat the right things but I have such a hard time sticking to it. My primary doctor basically told me to eat the same things you did......It's just a matter of doing it. I have such a sweet tooth and I don't know how to get rid of it. Where is my willpower? I used to have great willpower, not anymore.
Laura, I forgot to tell you how cute you looked in your picture and you don't look like a dude. lol
Graycie -
I'm still bugging that Laura met her husband at Hedonism!! You didn't strike me as the nudist camp kinda girl!
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