2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

TracySeattle

I gotta tell you ladies that the hair on my legs is growing like crazy!!! Why can't my hair grow that fast??

I also have peach fuzz on my face, I always have had a little bit but this is more than that.

Are we having fun yet?

marymelodi

Amy:
I hope your fertility issues are not too difficult and that there is a solution. My big regret in life is never having children.

I want everyone to know that I recently found a book I wish I had been directed to 6 months ago. It is called "Uplift" by Barbara Delinsky. After her own journey with BC she collected stories, comments, advice, wisdom, etc. from a variety of women, husbands, friends, etc. and it's all in this book. Chapters about diagnosis, chemo, radiation, hair, exercise, and going beyond. Many things I wish I'd known or heard or considered . . . and many ideas and hints and thoughts that are still useful. I checked it out of the patient education library at our cancer center. Another resource I just found out about. Why didn't they tell me at the beginning??? Oh well, as we all know - can't change the past. Thankfully, our group was so helpful, comforting, and informative so I really didn't NEED the book, just wish I would have known about it.

I am also eyelash challanged and making the most of eye shadow and eye liner.

debbie444

Welcome back Tracey - have a good break?
Amy - hang on in there, things may well work themselves out. My period came back just under 3 months after chemo and i am on tamox and i am older than you! Dont give up hope yet - we will all send positive vibes out to you.
When ( not if) you have kids can we all be adoptive october aunties??
Debbie

Anonymous

I

MISSED

YOU

GIRLS!

Got home Sunday night from MX. Had a fantastic time. The resort was absoutely beautiful. The first 2 days there I kept my wig on, but it was so hot I thought I was going to pass out! For the rest of the trip I wore bandanas. It was great because I could swim (even under water) and it stayed on! Wearing a gel-filled prosthesis on the left side in my bathing suit wasn't very comfortable and I felt quite self conscious and worried that it didn't look natural. But, I really tried to concentrate more on relaxing and having a good time. There were a few times that I actually forgot about bc! It's good to be home - but I already want to go back.
I had my first rad. yesterday. Piece of cake - just like all of you said it would be. I hope I don't get burned too badly, though. Read through the past weeks' posts...everyone seems to be doing - for the most part - really well. So happy about that. Thought about you girls often.
Wow...I love all the new photos! Everyone's hair is looking great! Mine is really dark now - want to post a current photo soon. I have lots of un-packing to do and work to catch up on.
It's good to be back to my second home too...right here with all of you!
Laura

debbie444

Really glad you had a good time Laura - looking forward to seeing some of your holiday photos- probably the closeset i will get to MX!
Debbie

Graycie

Laura, I was just thinking of you, Welcome back......Glad to hear you had such a nice time in Mexico. My friend just went to Mexico and in her pictures it looked beautiful. I can understand ditching the wig. It got up to 70 here the other day and I couldn't stand it. I can just imagine what summer will be like. I hope I have enough hair by then to go topless but the bandana idea sounds good to me. I was wondering what I would do since I love to swim. The only thing I am wondering is how did it stay on?

Just to let you know, I finished radiation and everything went well, a little itching and peeling (like a sunburn)but no burns so I hope you have the same good luck.

Did you girls see that drug that was on the news that can help to prevent invasive BC? I think it is called raloxifene. It is actually used to strengthen bones but it can work just as good as tamoxifen with fewer side effects. Unfortuanely it can only be used on post-menopausal women. I am not a candidate because I am er/pr neg. That really upsets me when they find all these new drugs and nothing for us er/pr neg girls. Oh well, I am still going to believe that chemo and radiation did it's job.
Graycie

Graycie

Debbie, I just noticed your new picture. NICE...Your hair is coming in good...I had to laugh at my grandson he told me I looked like I had a military do, and he is right...lol

TracySeattle

Laura! Welcome back, glad you had a good time!

Debbie, I did have a great time! There were 6 of us and we gabbed all weekend! It was nice to get away with the girls, it has been a long time since I have felt well enough to do it.

Guess what everyone???? I AM FINISHED WITH RADIATION!!!!! I took my Rad Techs some very nice cookies from the bakery. I got a diploma and I also got to ring the bell 3 times!!! When I rang the bell, all of the Rad Techs came from different places to congradulate me.
I am taking breakfast to my co-workers tomorrow and will be having a happy hour for my friends on the 29th. I decided that being finished with treatment is worth celebrating!

ake

first of all., debbie...when and if i eventually have a baby, you all will be october aunties

laura...i'm so glad you had a great vacation. i'm soooo jealous! rads will be over before you know it...it goes by really fast.

congrats on everyone who has finished radiation...welcome to life after treatment. my hair started growing back really fast after rads...don't know if that had anything to do with it.

i'm completely stressed about my licensing boards...they're on may 14th officially. my therapist and i figured out today that in addition to being anxious, i'm also pissed that i have to take the exam...i feel like i should have a free pass or something because i beat cancer. why does everything else have to be hard after cancer? my career. babies. i know that life is not about smooth sailing all the time, but i feel like the next things should be easy. but, nope, things go back to normal and they really really go back to normal and all of a sudden, i'm stressing about regular stuff again. and there's no free pass. i just go through the next step of everything. i'm serious....the word "survivor" is not even enough to describe what we go through!

what would i do without my october ladies? thanks for keeping me sane!!!

love,
amy

sherryhaire

Laura--Glad to have you back, Where in Mexico did you go? 2 years ago I went to Cancun and it was beautiful the water was fantastic!! Would love to go back again. Congrats to those finishing rads!! and Good luck to those starting

TracySeattle

My friends were telling me this weekend that I will not be considered a true survivor for 5 years! Has anyone else heard that??? Well, I am calling myself a survivor right now! I don't care what anyone else says!!!

Paula15089

Laura - welcome back!



Tracy - yes, i've heard the 5 years rule... wouldnt take it too seriously though. On one hand, BC will stay with us forever, on the other, you can consider yourself a survivor the minute you hear your diagnosis. I dont like statistics very much anymore.



Amy - i have waxed my facial fuzz when it really started bugging me. Wasnt very skillful with the wax, so i think i kept most of it anyway! didnt seem to grow back any thicker, and lately it is definitely less noticeable.

I had 2 periods since chemo, but as i just had my first Zoladex injection, i think i can say goodbuy to them for a while...



Ravdeb - yes, i can definitely see you with some chucky silver jewelry! Why dont you put some blond rinse through your hair? I think if my hair came back white, i would experiment madly with all different hair colours!!! But it is brown as before, and i am scared to touch it now in fear of damaging my precious growth...

RoseMarie

Laura - welcome back!! I'm glad you were able to relax a little and have some fun!!
Graycie - I saw that study too - in fact, the company my husband works for makes raloxifene (prescription name Evista)...too bad they only studied postmenopausal women!
Congrats on finishing rads Tracy! I know you are happy!!

Eyelashes have just about disappeared on me too! My eyebrows are partially gone and I have stiff, white eyebrows in patches!! I go everywhere wigless now...all the pictures I have taken look terrible but I'll try and post one...I'll post one with my cute kid...that way the focus isn't on me

Have a great one, ladies!

debbie444

Wow Rosemarie - you dont just have hair - you have a hairstyly now! ( love the lipstick colour by the way!)

I heard the 5 yr rule too, not sure whether its the same over there but here they say you are in remission (?spelling) for 5 years before they will say you have beaten it. Well I look on it as yes, i now have a history of it and it may well rear its head again, but at the moment i am cancer free.
Amy - know exactly what you mean, you feel you have dealt with enough and other things just seem like the final straw that broke the camels back. Somedays i even feel hard done to when i have to pay to park the car!!

On a more serious note, a question i have been pondering ladies. Why, when America is such a big country , do you all have such short addresses? How does your postman know where he is going?????? One of lifes mysteries i guess!

Debbie

ravdeb

Ladies, Ladies, Ladies... As an English teacher I will tell you that the rules for survivor ownership are all just symantics! I am a survivor. So far I survived the first moment I heard I had bc, survived 2 lumpectomies and survived a bout in the hospital because of chemo as well as AC and Taxol. I will also survive rads (and the rads secretaries will survive my soon-to-be-nasty phone calls to them since they still haven't given me a date). So..I AM a survivor. So are all of you!

Rosemarie..you look terrific in the picture!

Paula... I am waiting a period of time before I decide if I will put anything on my hair. My daughter suggested some kind of gel or something that would separate the curls a bit (she has very curly hair so she KNOWS!). I'm afraid to put anything on it and even don't shampoo it as often as I used to as, along with the rest of my body, my head itches, too! So, I am waiting on that, but that's a good idea... and the chunky silver earrings..you must see me...I'm very narrow...oh I've gained weight but still am narrow...they would be too heavy to carry around with me!!!! silver is very in here in Israel in particular..it always has been. I have wrists the size of children's and I have to have all bracelets made smaller or I buy kid's size!!! :-) I can't wear any jewelry right now because everything on me makes me uncomfortable due to the itching I still have. I used to always wear tons of bracelets and rings, etc... I am now into just little stud earrings that don't bug and even that sometimes bothers me and I remove them...but rarely..even when my earlobe itches cuz I gotta have SOME kind of jewelry on! This will all pass.

I did notice that though my hair is starting to get longer on top, the scalp still shows through (maybe cuz the hair is white?) but the hairs right off the forhead fall out if I touch them or even pull gently. hmmmmmmmmmm....

LAURA!!! Welcome back! So glad you had a great time there!!! man I could use a vacation! Can't wait for the summer!

Tracy...congrats on finishing rads!!! YES! And glad you had a good time with your friends!!

BTW...Debbie..you look wonderful in your avatar!

Graycie...CONGRATS on finishing up rads. I hope the itching, etc is relieved soon (boy I can understand ANY itching!)

ravdeb

debbie444

We were sat at breakfast this morning and my son , who is very affectionate looked at me and said
"mum - I really missed you when you were in hospital for a fortnight"
Ah - i thought, here comes some serious ego rubbing.
Then he said " Yes , Daddy cant draw good faces on the Chucky eggs at breakfast!"
Guess that put me in my place !!
Debbie

sherryhaire

Since I am post-memopasal I wonder if I should ask about Ralaxifine I have been taking Arimadex for one moth now.

ravdeb

Debbie..that's CUTE! We ARE needed! :-)

My dh (I'm thinking of just what those letters stand for at the moment) told me like...BTW.... that when I was in my CT the other day and he was looking for my onc who was not around, he spoke to a guy who is in research or something (very unclear to me just who but somebody in the cancer center..doctor, nurse...) and this guy told my dh that my itching could NOT be related to the Taxol after so long and the type I have. Well..I was mad that it took my dh this long to tell me this guy said this, but I've been saying this all along and he was making me think I was being stupid and kept wanting me to see the skin doctor all the time. So, at least finally he understands me and I want to see my onc about blood tests and whatever else she can send me for.

At least now I have his support on this.

ravdeb

maryannecb

Ravdeb sometimes the D in DH stands for damn.

Graycie and Tracy, wow finished rads, that has got to feel good. Are you starting to feel post treatment anxiety? I guess we all have that to face next...

October Aunties, can't wait.

Debbie it is great to put a face on you.

Amy ,interesting thought on the free pass. Can I have one for all the debt I have sunk in to...

Rosemarie your little guy is just too cute. Tell him I am sticking my tongue out at him too. And, I have my fingers in my ears.

Survive means " to continue to exist", which we all still do, thank you. We can stop worrying after 5 years but I am sure after this we will always worry, from time to time.

Ravdeb, did they do a skin biopsy? It is simple and sometimes shows unusual conditions...It has only been one month since your last Taxol, I suppose it would take a few weeks to work out of your system and then your skin another few weeks to start real healing. If you see any prigress you are probably on the mend.

1 week of rads done, 4 to go! Had Herceptin today- no SE so far. Am off to gymn , gotta get this weight off.

Fists up!

ravdeb

maryanne...I see NO progress with my itch..oh ..well if you mean progression from one area to the other..It's everywhere and has not gotten better...only worse.
I've thought of the skin biopsy and wanted to ask for that, too. You could be right about it not yet being enough time.thought of that but it's getting worse instead of better so............. but that's why I want to see my onc..to see what she thinks about it. My skin doctor is away for another couple of weeks anyway so.....

thanks for letting me know what that d in dh could sometimes stand for

ravdeb

ake

ok, so today i went to whole foods to get groceries (i only buy organic now). i saw these protein bars that were soy-free. i was really excited because i love those bars, but they all have soy in them, which i'm trying to avoid because of the ER+.

the guy working at the grocery store near the bars, told me i had a really cool haircut. i thanked him. he started flirting with me and telling me i could really pull off such a cool haircut and what was my decision to cut it that way, etc. finally, i said, "it wasn't really intentional." he said, "oh, you went through some stuff." i said, "yes, but that's over and seriously...you totally made my week!"

the final part of a great morning...after sleeping in with my husband and having some quality sex with him (sorry, i have to be honest...we're finally getting to be newlyweds after all now that cancer is over, so i'm excited to find my sexuality again!) ..then going to the store...just the fact that someone flirted with me (i feel like a boy sometime with this hairdo) and liked my hair! am i really a woman again? go figure

TracySeattle

Debbie! LOL - You make me laugh. I have been wanting to go take pics of mailboxes at the end of driveways for you! Not sure why our addresses are short, but yours is certainly long!!!

Rosemarie - I LOVE your hair!

Ravdeb - I am so sorry that you are still itching. I can imagine that it drives you crazy! It's not fair, you should be enjoying this time since your chemo is finished!

Amy - I am so glad that you can be a newlywed again!

MaryAnne - I like your definition of survivor. I AM A SURVIVOR! I refuse to wait 5 years to take the title!

Hope you all have a good evening!

debbie444

Mary anne - had a face before - only had my red wig on!
I have realised that my down times coincide with my periods. I guess i can cope with a couple of sad days a month, I probably had them before but never realised. One thing that is good tho, I read somewhere that on Tamoxifen you sometimes dont get the dreaded 'boob pain' just before. Its true - i have a good side effect. Knew if i waited long enough i would get one!
I also think i may have lost a couple of pounds in weight ( can alter this by rocking back and forth on scales but dont disillusion me ladies)
Ravdeb - so sorry about the itching. My hubby gets bad itching , so bad that he can scratch ihis skin off. Our dr said he thought it was a vitamin deficiency( which could explain his constant mouth ulcers) and he takes Selenium with added Vits A, C and E. When ( and i mean when) he remembers to take them they do help.

Take care all
Debbie

ravdeb

Well, my onc call me this morning. She's on a month vacation and is still taking care of ME. She talked to the head breast care unit onc and they both think I need to take steroids to get rid of the itching. She told me to set up an appt. with a skin doctor from the outpatient skin unit at the hospital according to a letter she is writing and faxing to them and they will fax to me. But, she thinks I should be on steroids and wants the skin specialist to make the final decision. She is sure the steroids will work. I hope so. If not, then I'll get really worried!

I know that feeling...Debbie...of wanting to scratch my skin off! I refuse to scratch my face, which itches, too, and I try very hard to keep putting the creams on. They are sure it's a reaction to the Taxol. Why do I not feel very confident about this??? And to be put on steroids??? This is not a good thing. I was so happy to be OFF steroids. I want to just cry!

It's bad enough that I don't get sleep now. When I was on steroids before I got no sleep and was hyper and looked like a tomato. I so wanted to be NORMAL. I know that normal is overrated, but this is ridiculous. I guess I should just wait and see what the pro skin doctor has to say.

ravdeb

debbie444

Ravdeb,
Sorry you are feeling like a


hope they sort you out and you soon feel as cool as a


Debbie

ravdeb

Thanks Debbie! That is soooooooooo cute.
And I start rads on Monday. I feel like such a complainer these days. They gave me a before 8am appt and I live close to 2 hours away. I asked for afternoon. they don't have normal morning appts anyway because they take their in-patients then but I need my mornings at home so I can keep up with the part of my life that is NOT cancer. It will mess up the entire day for the next 2 months and I was really counting on having this time to get back into things before I leave for the States.

I guess I'm just a complainer but early morning rads with steroids does not sound appealing to me right now...

ravdeb

sherryhaire

Ravdeb--
Last week My son broke out in a terrible rash all over his body complete with welts from head to toe. They put him on steroids and Atarax for the itching, took about 3 days but finally went away.

debbie444

I had to travel into a city for my treatments, luckily only an hour away. I asked for morning appointments on the advice of a friend who had 'been there, done that!' It worked well as
i) I was always able to park and didnt have to disappear into the one way system never to be seen again
ii)I was told that sometimes the machines break down - but usually in the afternoons after a days usage, creating queues.
iii) I was usually back out in the carpark at 9.00, not bad to say my apps were 9.30 ( tecs liked to get going!!) and the rest of the day was my own - i used to have a nap or go shopping before work in the afternoon, without it hanging over me for the day.
iv) When i had my check up with the consultant it was the beginning of his day so he hadnt been waylaid!

O.k - you still got the wrong times - but i tried! Cant they alter them if you ask?
Debbie

P.s - just remembered - last year my son came out in red itchy allergy welts ( something he ate at school!) which made him look like a red and white cow. The dr told me to put him in regular cool baths with bicarbonate of soda. It was incredible - you could see them disappear! ( and no drugs involved)

maryannecb

Ravdeb you are now officially a camper. I get a different appointment time every day, so maybe your time will vary too. I initially tried for 8:15, thinking I'd drop kids at school and run. But the first day I did this I dropped my youngest to the empty playground...I naver saw him look so devastated. I then changed to 9:00 so as not to interfere with morning schedule. You are right , try to maintain whatever you cab as normal. I bet they will change this for you!

It will be good to see the derms again ravdeb. And if you have to take a short course of steroids to get rid of this, so be it. I am getting itchy for you it has gone on so long.

Debbie , did you chemopause? When did your period restart?

Fists up!

Debbie, sorry I didn't recognise you without your red wig. I am just as bad with names in cyberspace as I am in real life.You look younger with your chemo crew.

Anonymous

Well, Easter Sunday arrived and so did my ex along with the police. He was arrested again for violating the restraining order, the police had been looking for him since the violation occurred last week at my daughter's pre school. The officer told me, "Well, we know where he is going to be Sat at 9am and Sun at 9am, so be prepared."

Well, he was arrested in his $70,000 leased car and he had no valid driver's license! It is suspended!! Here he has his $70K car (leased or rented) and he has a 1992 Jeep that he owes the money to me on!

To top this off, he made false charges against me to Child Protective Services. They came unannounced to my house yesterday to interview Teryn, look at my house, interview my mom and I had to take off work early and talk to them. All went well for us and she advised that I ask the courts for monitored visits for my ex -- she said he is malicious! She said she is not even filing a report. My house is clean, my mom showed her all our organic food, oatmeal, my daughter's playroom, not one thing out of order!

Oh I was so steamed! But my daughter knew of nothing amiss and that's the main thing!