2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

TracySeattle

I will turn 50 in March. I was not happy about turning 50 before I was dx'd, but now it seems even sadder. Kinda like I am for sure old (and sick). If this is 49--50 has to be better, right????

spirit

Evening y'all!!!

Went for the stress test today..it went ok I guess...no mishaps anyway! Monday I will go for an angiogram about the blockages...will stay overnight with family because the hospital won't discharge me if I'm driving....

When the carotid surgery will be done, I haven't a clue. Just wanna get all this done so I can get back to my chemo treatments!! Y'all will be done way before I am! ~sigh~

Hope all is well with everyone...

hugs,
kate

sherryhaire

Jane
Good luck on #3 my thoughts are with you

TracySeattle

I am going to try for Chemo #2 tomorrow. Last week, they postphoned due to an infection. Think good thoughts and say a prayer for me. I really don't want to have to wait another week!

Anonymous

Hi Amy,
We have had to go through a whole lot this year. It is understandable for us to get sad at the prospect of another birthday or holiday. We will all be a lot better next year, you'll see.

Anonymous

Good luck to Tracy, Jane, Kate and anyone else doing chemo soon!

debbie444

Amy - I know how you are feeling. We took the kids to the fireworks on bonfire night and as we were watching them go up i was stood there trying not to cry, wondering whether i would see them next year. Most of the time i can be positive but on 'occasions' i find it hard!
We have a houseful coming for Christmas day - my husband is cooking and has invited everyone - all i can do is hope they dont sit there looking at me trying to be jolly!!
Jane - it hasnt stopped my periods either - i was hoping for that!

DEbbie

AnnaM

Good luck, Tracy. I go in for #2 on Monday.

Anna

TracyNY

Quote:

---

I have a question...I've been struggling with this for a couple of weeks, trying to understand why I'm feeling like this, so I thought I would ask you all...

My birthday is Dec. 5th and I'll be 29. For some reason, I'm so sad about it. I don't know why. I usually love my birthdays and get so excited no matter what we do. This year, it's almost like I view my birthday as something sad. Kinda like...oh, she's 29, I hope she makes it to 30. Does anyone feel like that with their own birthdays or even the holidays? There's something just sad about my birthday this year. My husband is making a big deal about it and throwing me a party to cheer me up, but inside, it's just sad.

Here's my amateur psychologist opinion (NYU Class of 94). 29 was the blow out year before you have to check that 30-40 year old box on the surveys. Instead of revelling in frivolity you've been hit with this. I don't think its about your uncertainty about how long you have left, you present as being far stronger than that.

Let that strong supportive man you have do his thing. Get fabulous, and if you have to pretend you're having a good time, do it. Its only for a few hours.

I ride the train thinking everyone is staring at me because I wear a wig and think they are pitying me. I keep forgetting that my wig is so fabulous that I had to name her and my make up is soooo fierce they can't help but stare!! Don't let this disease eat at the self esteem. It ate my breasts, I'll be damned if its going to get anything else!!

sherryhaire

Good Luck to all of you having Chemo today I got #3 behind me yesterday , feel like 103 this morning but ok hope the weekend goes well. I hope everyone has a great weekend Thoughts are with you all

TracyNY

I had number 3 of 8 yesterday too. I managed to negotiate my way out of having to take Ativan. I take Emend for 3 days and 2 dexamethosone twice a day for 4 days. I was taking Ativan twice a day for 4 days but it made me too woozy to function but aside from feeling high at the moment, I can't complain. Going to do the work from home thing today, its getting cold out and there has to be some plus to being under medical supervision!! Work from the bed!!

marymelodi

Good Luck to all having treatments. Hope it goes well!

Amy: I also want to say that it's natural to feel a "shift" in yourself at the 30th birthday. It is a milestone. And, you have had so many things to adjust to in this year. Even without BC it would have been a big year for you.

When I turned 50, 3 years ago, I decided that if I had to pass that milestone I wanted to do it in the company of those I loved best and so my sister and husband threw a big party for me. It made the whole passage so much easier and will be one of my fondest memories all my life.

I suggest that you find a way that feels right for you and mark the occasion with a special treat or event. I am a firm believer in the power of gratitude and focus on what is good and positive. You seem like a special woman and I bet you can find much to be grateful for.

Happy Birthday and best wishes for many, many more years of happiness and love!
marymelodi

Anonymous

Amy,
Here's something I read when I feel sad, discouraged, and frightened. I hope it helps you, too. Hang in there.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
when the road you're trudging seems all uphill.
When you're feeling low, and your fears are high,
you want to smile, but you have to cry.
When life is pressing you down a bit -
rest if you must, but don't ever quit.
Success is failure turned inside out,
it's the silver lining of the clouds of doubt.
You never can tell how close you are,
it's really near it just seems so far.
Stick to the fight - when you're hardest hit,
it's when things go wrong, that you must not quit!

I hope you have a wonderful birthday!
Laura (GTO)

ake

Thank you, ladies, for writing me such great words of advice. I cried when I read every single response...because it means the world to me and it's such a great feeling that you all just get it. I don't know what I would do without my October group

-Amy

maryannecb

Hi,had first FAC mid oct, stage 3A,2/14posnodes, er/pr-, her2+
did second FAC last week. plan4FAC total then taxotere thenrad.
Starting herceptin at some point. I am discussing with onc re starting at same time as taxotere. He said usually given after radiation, anyone out there getting herceptin with there taxotere?

AnnaM

I am going in for round 2 of A/C on Monday. I am starting the heavy water drinking tonight and have bought my popsicles. I hope this second round goes as well as the first.

Anna

Paula15089

hi ladies,
2 weeks post chemo #1 and the hairfall begins.. a handful on a comb, lots on my clothes. A shave is definitely happening this week.
Whats interesting, i am losing hair 'down there' in a big way. All i need to do is pull, and they come out. Not complaining of course, but shouldnt those ones come out last?
Makes me feel worried about my eyebrows, i am hoping to keep them for a while longer!
LGFB workshop tomorrow, my onc appointment on tuesday, so i will find out the results of my post chemo blood test. That should be interesting... i feel fine, but that is not an indication of your WBC count, right?
I nearly wish i had insisted on dose dense, i could easily do #2 sooner, and have it over and done with faster.
take care all!
Paula

RoseMarie

Amy, I understand how you feel. My birthday is 11/28 and I'll be 38. Personally I just like for everything to be normal. It pains me to think that I'll have a bunch of relatives feeling sorry/sad for me every time we get together. Maybe I'm just naiive or stupid but I really believe everything will be ok after this and I guess that's what I want everyone else to believe too.

I'm part of the can't-stop-pooping club too, by the way!

On another note...my husband is being transferred to Indiana! Mind you, we are both Floridians and know NOTHING about cold weather. Snow, what's that???? I will probably stay behind until February to finish up treatments and my mom is here so I won't be alone. When I was initially diagnosed my husband wanted to pull the plug on the work he was doing for this promotion but I took the dx as a personal attack on all our hopes and dreams and told him I still wanted him to pursue it. Now it's here! I'll be losing my support system, warm weather, my job...ARE WE NUTS??? I am excited and the kids can't wait to see snow!

ake

Paula,

My hair down there fell out like crazy after my second AC. Even more than the hair on my head. It finally stopped after thinning considerably. My eyebrows have thinned and look like they've been waxed, but they're hanging in there after my 3rd AC. I've heard eyebrows don't necessarily fall out completely and then I've heard people say their eyebrows fell out completely after their last Taxol. That's the one area of hair I'm desperate to keep. My leg hair is the same...what's with that??

-Amy

TracyNY

I was reading up on Taxol and freaked about the eyebrow thing too! I thought losing my head hair would have been the worst but I brush up The Lady Bunny (that's my wig, named in tribute to a popular NYC drag queen) and strap her to my head and off I go!.

I have seen some eyebrow templates that they sell at Sephora that I'll be purchasing to experiment with should my brows leave me. My biggest fear is that I'll wash my face and they'll go floating down the sink!!!

maryannecb

have done 2 FAC, stll have eyebrows, shaved rapidly falling headhair ,short and curlies almost gone!

Serendipity

Hi all,
I am doing okay after Chemo #3 on Friday. My white and red blood cells are a bit low, but high enough to go thru with treatment. I've been a bit nauseous and constipated--even after all the remedies, but it's maybe a bit better than last time.

3 down, 5 more to go!
Jane

Graycie

Hi Everyone, did you miss me? My computer has been down for the past few days....what a bummer....Today is one of my down days, I always seem to crash on day 5 and 6 after chemo......The indigestion, acid reflex, etc is terrible besides I can't seem to drink anything, water is disgusting..I am really trying but it is hard. Constipation once again is also a factor. Thanks Laura for the tip on the pitted prunes. I am willing to try anything. I will definitely give them a try. I don't want to be a complainer but depression isn't helping me either today. Do you girls ever get a day that all you do is cry? For me it seems to be right after I go off of the decadron and anti-nausea drugs. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

TracySeattle

I talked to my Dr. abuot crying and the decadron, he admitted that they are linked. So is any jitteriness that you might feel or being able not to focus.. he is taking me off the decadraon more slwoly,so I am taking it 2 tablets 2xday for 2 days; 1 tablet 2 x a day for two days; 1 tablet 1xday for 2 days and then 1/2 tablet for 2 days. You might ask your Onc if this could work for you too.... I will let you know if it makes a difference to me....

Anonymous

Hi Graycie! I was just wondering about you! Although, I wish you were feeling better. Just before chemo, my Dr. prescribed Wellbutrin, an anti-depressant to take through the duration of treatment. I feel it has helped me alot. Also, I happen to have a Hiatal Hernia (unrelated to bc), so I take Protonix daily. I think this has helped to prevent any acid reflux probs. from chemo. Maybe you should ask your Dr. about both.?. I hope you feel better soon, and hope you cheer up soon! Hang in there.

Graycie

Hi Laura, I also have acid reflux and a hiatal hernia.....I have been on prevacid for a couple years now.....Today I feel a little better, just tired.....I might ask about anti-depressants if I don't snap out of it but I usually go through a couple bad days after chemo so I am hoping it will pass. I have one more treatment of AC next week and then I start taxol. I am hoping I won't have the same problems and it will be easier on the digestive tract but who knows, it could be worse...I am kind of afraid to find out. I hope everything is going good with you...Graycie

Graycie

Thanks Tracy, that makes sense....I do get the symptom's after I get off the decadron. You seem to be on them longer than me. I take 2x daily on day 2,3 and 4 after chemo and that's it. Do you also get the flushed face and chest when on them? Graycie

debbie444

Graycie - at last someone else who gets the red face on day 2 and 3 - thought it was just me!!

I now have fewer hairs on my head than there are volunteers at school fair time, leg hair hanging in ( just so unfair!). The weather here is really cold - my scarves have had to hibernate and out comes the wig and the hats. People have started asking where my hats are from - i have started a playground trend!
Keep smiling - make people wonder what you are up to
Debbie

AnnaM

I went in for round 2 of A/C today and I must admit I felt shakier this time around. The oncology nurse just didn't radiate the same confidence the first one did, I guess. I burst into tears on the drive home and have already showered and put on my pjs. I noticed the port spot is swollen; that didn't happen the first time. I tried to visualize those drugs kicking cancer butt for me, but it was a pretty weak picture this time, I fear. Tomorrow I will just take care of myself, I think. I will loll around and listen to Bellaruth's fighting cancer tape. I never get to the end of her tapes, they always put me right to sleep. Then I will see if Allison is still on Starting Over. I saw it once and liked the fact that her port scar is in the same place mine is and yet she wears low-cut tops all the time. I wonder if I will ever do that. For now it's tee shirts and polar fleece all the way. I sure don't feel attractive, nor do I really care.

Anna

Anonymous

Is anyone else NOT getting steroids after the first day? I know I get decadron in my cocktail, but I don't get anything else (besides emend and compazine) after day 1. So my side effects are: I get super tired during the first five days and appear to be on the mend after that. I am getting 4 A/C's. Done with 2... the 3rd one after Thanksgiving.