2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

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  • RoseMarie
    RoseMarie Member Posts: 502
    edited May 2007
    I ditto Deb - Thank you Lisa for your nice post.

    Deb - I'm thinking about you!!!
    Debbie - sounds like Mark had fun! John Michael goes to camp for the first time in the middle of June.
    Thinking about you too - hope all is well with the US!
    Michele - someone will certainly "scoop" the house up! hang in there!
    TracyNy - I like your spirit! I know you're counting down the days!
    Laura - how's the basement?? I know they were nearly done when you left - just curious...
    ok...my 1/2 hour alone goes by way too quickly! Got to get everyone up - it's Teacher Appreciation week this week so I've been helping out at school - have to be there as the kids get off the bus...have a wonderful day everyone!!
  • Graycie
    Graycie Member Posts: 839
    edited May 2007
    Ravdeb, I'm sorry you have to go through all this worry again. I wish I was there to go with you.

    Debbie, I will be thinking of you tomorrow too.
    I wish you both a clean bill of health.

    I have to go to work but will check back later to see how you made out Ravdeb.

    Hi to Everyone else, I am thinking of all of you,
    Where's Paula?
    Graycie
  • TracyNY
    TracyNY Member Posts: 434
    edited May 2007

    That's what I had for dinner last night, popcorn and bacon. Kettle corn to be exact, a little salty, a little sweet. I quite enjoyed it.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007
    TaDah -
    Popcorn and bacon! OMG - What a combo...never heard of that one before...although, I do love BURNED popcorn! I have a crappy old pan that I use just for burning it in. When I worked in downtown Chicago - there were several popcorn shops. Sometimes I would get a combo of cheddar and caramel popcorn mixed in the same bag! LOL

    ravdeb -
    Hang in there!

    RoseMarie -
    Our basement is almost finished...the only thing left is clean-up and carpet and the toilet needs to installed! What a mess though! Good thing the contractor's cleaning it! Have fun at school!

    ---------------------

    Still thinking about Paula!...Earth to Paula...come in Paula!
  • ake
    ake Member Posts: 684
    edited May 2007

    when are you ladies going to chicago again?

  • ake
    ake Member Posts: 684
    edited May 2007
    I liked this article...it was in the NY Times today...

    The Struggle to Move Beyond ‘Why Me?’

    By ALICE LESCH KELLY
    Published: May 8, 2007
    Six days after my husband and I returned from a trip to Aruba — our first real vacation without our children — my doctor told me I had breast cancer. I had felt a lump in my breast before the trip, but decided to wait to have it checked. I’d had lumps before, and they had always turned out to be nothing. But this one wasn’t nothing. It was Stage 2 invasive ductal carcinoma.


    The days after my diagnosis are a blur of doctor visits, tests, sleepless nights, tearful discussions with family members and intense research. I saw doctor after doctor after doctor. They patiently answered my many questions about surgery, chemotherapy, radiation and endocrine therapy. But none of them could answer the most important question of all: Why the hell did I get breast cancer?

    I was 41. I had no family history of breast cancer and no major risk factors. Tests showed I did not carry breast cancer genes. I exercised regularly and ate healthfully. I did not smoke. I had yearly mammograms. The only thing I’d done “wrong,” according to the standard list of risk factors for breast cancer, was having my first baby after age 30.

    And yet all I got from my doctors when I asked them why was a shrug. “It just happens,” a surgeon told me. “You can do everything right and still get breast cancer. Unfortunately, you drew the short straw.”

    That explanation didn’t cut it for me. I needed to know why.

    As a freelance health writer, I’m accustomed to tracking down the answers to vexing medical questions. So I set out in search of an answer. I examined studies, pored over articles in medical journals, spoke with experts and joined a support group with women who knew so much about breast cancer they could have passed board certification exams.

    Meanwhile, I underwent my treatment — three operations, eight sessions of dose-dense chemotherapy and six weeks of daily radiation treatments. I lost part of my breast, all of my hair and most of my sense of security. And still no satisfactory answer to my question.

    Not long after my treatment ended, I found myself in a hospital elevator with a bald woman. I had no hair at that time, either, so we started to chat. (It’s amazing how cancer brings people together — I’ve had deep, 45-minute conversations with complete strangers in waiting rooms.)

    “What have you got?” she asked me. We were like prisoners in the same jail comparing crimes.

    “Stage 2 breast cancer,” I told her.

    “I’m Stage 4 ovarian,” she said.

    I could tell by the look on her face that I wasn’t doing a very good job of concealing the look on my face. We both knew that her prognosis was not good. But she wasn’t grieving. She seemed happy.

    “When I was diagnosed, the doctors told me I had two months to live,” she said with a huge grin. “That was more than three years ago.”

    We stood in the damp parking garage, talking. She is a single mother with two teenage children. She gets chemo every couple of weeks and works full time because she needs the money, and the health insurance. As we chatted, I realized that if she weren’t bald, I would never know she was battling a terminal illness.

    “How do you do it?” I asked her. “How do you live each day with cancer hanging over your head?”

    She smiled, understanding. “I treat every day as an adventure, and I refuse to let anything make me sad, angry or worried,” she replied. “I live for the day, which is something I never did before. Believe it or not, I’m happier now than I was before I was diagnosed.”

    She wasn’t spending her time tracking down studies and agonizing over statistics. She wasn’t sitting with her head in her hands, asking why, why, why. No, she didn’t know why she got cancer, but she realized that nothing would be different even if she did.

    I thought about her for days. Gradually I began to understand. The only answer to the question “Why me?” is this: Because bad stuff happens to everyone, and this is what happened to me. One of my closest friends struggled with infertility. That’s her short straw. Another friend’s marriage fell apart. Another friend gave birth to a stillborn child. Look closely enough and you’ll see that everyone has a short straw or two in their lives.

    I’ll never know why I got cancer. What I do know is that the sooner I let go of the need to find something or someone to blame, the sooner I’ll be able to put cancer behind me and enjoy life, however long or short it may be. Only when I accept the sometimes cruel randomness of fate will I be able to call myself a survivor.
  • TracySeattle
    TracySeattle Member Posts: 690
    edited May 2007
    Hi Ladies!

    Well, tomorrow is my speech! YIKES! I have written it out, but know that I will end up just talking. Nice to have it down on paper though so that I have a guide to refer to.

    I have decided to talk about technology and breakthroughs in the treatment & surgeries for BC and how they have made our journey better, still difficult, but better than in the past. I also will talk about just how much we have all realized that THERE NEEDS TO BE A CURE!!!

    In addition, I am going to talk about Technology and how having the internet has helped cancer patients find information and support. Then I will talk about our little group - how diverse we are in our careers and where we live, but how cancer brought us all together to support each other.... I will end by saying - The Rocktober girls are going to FINALLY meet face to face in Chicago in August to celebrate our sisterhood, survivorship and life!

    Hope I get through it without rambling.... :-)

    Deb - I am thinking of you today and will be checking to see how your appt. turned out.....

    I am starting to get SERIOUS about booking my flight to Chicago. I am afraid that I waited too long, with the cost of fuel now, I bet the prices have gone up.....

    Anyone else ready to book? Is Michelle the only one who already has?

    Amy - it is Aug 23 (or 24) to 26!

    Not that far away now!
  • TracyNY
    TracyNY Member Posts: 434
    edited May 2007

    Amen to that article!!

  • debbie444
    debbie444 Member Posts: 847
    edited May 2007
    Thanks for asking , Catherine is fine now. she was desparate to go to school today as it was the start of Summer uniform ( this school costs me a fortune!) so i let her as it made it a lot easier for me organisation wise. I know that was naughty but I darent need a day off just before i am off for my app.
    i have never known anyone who is so dramatically sick as Catherine. For a start she doesnt wake up before she is sick , and her bed is 5ft in the air so it is a skill getting her sorted. I have had to buy all new bedding - again!
    TracyNy - you are going to be super, I just wish we could all be there to cheer you all on , laugh and clap at the right moments. Gosh - that would be something.
    Amy - i hope you are going to be there.
    Got to go - Catherine needs the computer for revision
    Debbie
  • TracyNY
    TracyNY Member Posts: 434
    edited May 2007
    Quote:

    TracyNy - you are going to be super, I just wish we could all be there to cheer you all on , laugh and clap at the right moments. Gosh - that would be something.





    You mean Tracy Seattle!! Although as hot as I look today, it would be hilarious to have a cheering section following me and applauding!!
  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited May 2007
    cute comeback, Tracy NY!

    I'm back from my appt. I was sooooooo nervous! Besides the fact that he likes my dh more than he likes me, I guess he's a good surgeon/doctor. At any rate, he doesn't see anything wrong with my nipple at all. hmmmmmmmm...I am so terribly paranoid. He told me to come back in Sept but if there was anything that progressed, to return to him. He then said he understood my paranoia about getting the cancer somewhere else and he said that it's okay to feel that way and it's good to have it checked.

    My dh said I should be happy. But, I'm skeptical as I always am when I leave the doctor or see the good mammo results and ultrasounds. I just don't believe anything anymore. He said it could just be some dryness..but why on only one side?

    Amy..the article is great! Love it.

    Debbie..that sounds awful about Catherine and having to get new bedding for her. I'm glad she's better now.

    Good luck tomorrow!

    TracySeattle..good luck! It will be a beautiful speech, I'm sure. I have confidence in you!

    By the way..having an itchy nipple is no picnic! I mean..sometimes I just gotta scratch and it's not very...um...dignified!
  • debbie444
    debbie444 Member Posts: 847
    edited May 2007
    Tracey Ny - you talk , I'll cheer !
    Yes i meant the other Tracey - i blame sleep deprivation!
  • ake
    ake Member Posts: 684
    edited May 2007

    i'm going to try to figure out chicago. my husband is going to be out of town that whole week, so i'm wondering if i should come on the trip to chicago. i gotta figure out when the puppy is coming, but i'm wondering if i'll be able to do this trip.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007
    Tracy -
    You will do great! You are really brave! I on the other hand, am such a chicken sh**, I'd probably faint just as I went on stage! I agree with Debbie - wish we could all be there - cheering you on! But your personal herd of Elephants will be holding you up in spirit!

    ravdeb -
    I wish there was a pill for paranoia! Sometimes you've just gotta trust someone! I know it's hard...why don't you give it another two weeks...It it's gone...great! If it's unchanged, perhaps you should get a second opinion. If it's worse...you'll know you need to pull a "Cindy" and get ugly with the Dr.! This is weird...the other day I had an itch by one of my ex-boobs so I put my hand under my shirt to scratch it, and I was shocked...I forgot my boobs were gone! LOL It was just a split second, but I was really, genuinely shocked! LOL As for your itching...have you tried Calomine lotion? Or better yet, Hydrocordizone cream.

    Debbie -
    Best wishes to you tomorrow. The Elephants are heading across the pond! You said the birthstones are May and July. Which is Catherine and which is Mark - boy/girl?

    TaDah -
    I'm sure wherever you go...you have your own personal cheering section! LOL Hot! Hot! Hot!

    -----------------------------------------------

    Hey Girls -
    One of my friends is stopping by for lunch tomorrow - she's on a low carb diet...any suggestions what I could run out and pick up for us to eat?

    And, in a little while, Roy and I are going to visit the Goat! We'll be able to take her for a ride too! She can't come home though, as the new exhaust system hasn't been installed yet. But perhaps she'll be back home with mum and pop this weekend! OMG LOL - sorry...I'm cracking myself up again!

    Gotta get back to D-ZINING...back at ya later...I want to post some vacation pics! Especially the one I took of Roy, immediately after he'd fallen off the Bull! LOL
  • Graycie
    Graycie Member Posts: 839
    edited May 2007
    Amy, I'm sorry I didn't have time to read the article yet but I copied it so I can read it later. Gee, I hope you can make it in August.

    Tracy, You sound like you have it all together for your speech . I wish I could be there. Could you tape it for us.......lol

    Laura, I didn't know you were a chickens*** like me, you always seem to know the right words to say. I am definitely a chickens***. lol, I get too nervous and the words would probably come out all wrong and I would make a fool of myself. Sorry, no idea's for tomorrow's lunch except maybe an antipasto or Julienne salad. Can she have fruit? How was your visit to see the Goat?

    Debbie, Awwwww, poor Catherine, that flu seems to be everywhere. Very short lived though if she was able to go to school today. I am sending my best for you tomorrow.

    Ravdeb, What a relief. I agree with Laura, try some hydrocortisone cream for the itching. It can't hurt.

    Michele, Sorry about those people not coming back for the second showing. I still believe it will sell soon.

    My husband starts back to work tomorrow.........YIPEE!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007
    Graycie -
    I love pasta salads, but aren't there lots of carbs in pasta? A Juliene salad will work, along with a fruit salad. Thanks! OMG - LOL dh is going back to work...awwwww...time for pool boy! LOL

    -------------------------------

    OMG THE GOAT ROCKS! We didn't have time for me to drive it (the trans place was closing by the time we got there - traffic suck**), but Roy drove it - we went to a secluded road and he let her rip - OMG It literally threw us back in our seats! Can't wait to take it to the track this summer. I'll be racing it wearing a hot pink helmut that says ROCK ON!

    ------------------------------

    Where's everyone?

    Paula - Still thinking about you. Shelby sends hugs.
    Cindy - Hope you're doing okay.
    Kelly - Hope you're recooping, while floating in your pool!
    Meeshell - Maybe you're selling your house?

    --------------------------------

    Hope you're all having a great evening.
  • Graycie
    Graycie Member Posts: 839
    edited May 2007
    Laura, ANTI-pasta.......no pasta.......lol.

    Maybe you don't have them in Chicago........lol...
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007

    Very funny, my Graycie! LOL

  • chumfry
    chumfry Member Posts: 642
    edited May 2007
    Amy, I loved that article. As a health writer myself, I have access to all sorts of studies and info, and have spent days researching treatment options, etc. But one thing I never really researched was "Why me?"

    Bad things happen to people all the time. In some cases, there's a definite cause/effect to be seen, but most often it's a simple case of "Shit happens." LOL

    There was an article in Newsweek not long ago written by a man living with cancer and he ended his story with a quote from the movie, "The Shawshank Redemption." The quote had resonated with me even before cancer: "Get busy living or get busy dying."

    There are people in my life, who don't even have cancer, who are just waiting to die. And every single person I've read on these board is the polar opposite of that. We all have our low moments and our fears, but we are all busy living. And that makes me proud of all of us.
  • TracySeattle
    TracySeattle Member Posts: 690
    edited May 2007
    Thanks everyone for the good wishes on my speech! I have notes and practiced in my head all the way home on th bus today. I think I will be able to do it OK.....

    I had a GREAT first interview today for a QA Test Lead job with Premera Blue Cross. The job is EXACTLY what I do and seems to suit me quite well..... Tomorrow at 3pm I have a phone interivew with the hiring manager....

    YIKES tomorrow is a BIG day! Think good "Rocktober" thoughts for me!!!

    Deb - glad to hear all is OK. You need to quit worrying, girl, and LIVE LIFE!!! Let's make some fun & crazy plans for our trip to Chicago - are we going Ballooning???

    TracyNY - You are so funny - I wish I could look HOT like you! I can't wait to see you and get some fashion tips!

    Thinking of Paula.....

    Where is Mary?

    Wonder how V is doing.... Is this her trip to Hawaii? I lost track...

    Good night everyone!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007
    One thing I would like to add before I head for the bath tub...

    You can live your life as a diseased person, or you can live your life as a person with a disease.

    Nite - nite - sweet elephants!
  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited May 2007
    Good morning Elephants..
    I'm confused (what else is new??) Tracy..did you do the speech already? Mixed up on days! Good luck with the phone interview. Sounds promising.

    amy..I hope you come in August! I'm most likely not going to be in Virginia this trip and am trying to figure out how I'll get to see my friends there. This happened once before and then we kept missing each other on the phone, too. It's so hard to live so far away!

    I woke up this morning and my worrying over my itchy boob is gone. It still itches but it's not that bad. It's most likely nothing. He said to put something very neutral on it to ease dryness..some oil of some kind. He thinks that is all it is.

    I am much more concerned with my fatigue than with that or cancer. The fatigue is not cancer and I believe I can find a solution for it so I'm concentrating on that. I really do think it's a thyroid issue and a pill would whisk the fatigue away. Once that fatigue is gone, I'll be in better spirits. I had blood tests for anemia, ESR (for any kind of inflammation)CBC and whatever else..oh..the TSH and a urine test because he said my kidneys may not be functioning right and that could cause the low blood pressure and fatigue. So, I will have some of the results later this afternoon and the TSH tomorrow I think.

    I think the fatigue makes me worry more. I'm not really a worrier but I'm tired all the time so it has affected me.

    I was sitting in the clinic waiting to get my blood tests and there was a lady there sitting next to me. I know her. She's very weird and used to hit her kids all the way home from pre-school because they weren't walking fast enough, I guess (her kids are my kids' ages). Her one son was one of my students and he was wierd (gee..wonder why!). At any rate, she told me she wasn't going to take any pills for anything and it was enough that her husband had to take pills. I told her that some medications are life savers and she said she didn't care. And she actually just sat there in the clinic because I think it gave her something to do. She was going to talk to the secy who wasn't there anyway and she just sat there! Our clinic seems to be a place where everybody meets to chat! Not for me! I'm in and outa there fast!
  • RoseMarie
    RoseMarie Member Posts: 502
    edited May 2007
    Amy - liked the article! Sure hope you can come in August!!!
    Cindy - I like that quote too!!
    Deb - hope you're able to get down to bottom of the fatigue!
    TracyS- thinking about you today - sending those Rocktober vibes your way!!
    Laura - no way are you chicken sh**, you drive a race car!! I am the queen of chicken sh**. Sounds a bit disgusting, but true!

    Kiersten's class had a very sweet Mother's day presentation this morning before school. It was so emotional.

    Well, it's 11:00 am - where has this day gone already?!!

    Will check in later, have a wonderful day everyone!!
  • Graycie
    Graycie Member Posts: 839
    edited May 2007
    Rosemarie, OMG, you are right it is 11:00 and where has the day gone. I think I need my head examined. I just applied for another merchandising job. Maybe they won't want me.......heeeee....I used to go to the mother's day presentation's with my grandson since my daughter worked they were so cute and your right emotional.

    Cindy, you have the right attitude, that's half the battle.

    Deb, Could you be depressed or bored? That can cause fatigue. I am beginning to wonder if that is what is causing my tiredness. When I have things to do or places to go I am fine. Or maybe you have allergies. When my allergies act up I am miserable and very tired.

    Laura, Rosemarie is right you aren't no chickens***, you drive a race car. You are VERY Brave......lol

    Tracy, you are probably giving you speech soon, actually you are probably just getting up. Anyway I will be thinking of you during your moment of fame. I just wish we were there with you.

    I better run and do something since it is my day off. Laura, good luck with your lunch.
  • debbie444
    debbie444 Member Posts: 847
    edited May 2007
    OK - back from the ultra sound (which hurt like ballyhoo by the way. The poor tec was devasted when he made me cry - he said it has never happened before!) But . THERE IS NED !! The oncologist said that he wasnt sure what was causing the pain was pretty sure that it was nerves/scar tissue etc. He also told me , which is worth knowing , that scar tissues continues to change and contract over time , causing different lumps and bumps. If i was to find another then to go straight back , but it would prob be the same again. The tec found two more nodes - i had 28 out - how many more are there????????
    We are off out to celebrate Deb - hope you feel better soon.
    Debbie
    P.S Laura . Mark July . Catherine May. Now i can go out and sort her party now that i know whats happening hospital wise!!
  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited May 2007
    That's GREAT news Debbie! I'm so relieved!

    My news is this..I had my blood test this morning and my doctor called me this evening. He said the TSH is still high and thinks this is the cause of my fatigue. So, I went over there and he wrote a presciption for thyroxin which I'll get tomorrow and will be able to start it..slowly. He wants to see me in a week. At any rate..everything else is normal so I'm not anemic. I am quite convinced it's the thyroid because I also have low blood pressure. I don't feel particularly depressed..just frustrated that I am always tired and feel so lethargic. I try to do things and I can't keep focused. I really think it's this and have confidence the meds will solve this!

    I know what you mean, Gail..that when I've got lots to do, I'm not as tired, but that's just not the case at this point!

    At any rate..am happy to hear about Debbie's good news!

    By the way..forgot to mention to whoever asked..Victoria is in Hawaii now.

    Cindy..when do you start chemo?

    Elephant trunks up!
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2007
    Debbie -
    Great NEWS...give NED a big hug and a big wet kiss from me! I like that guy! LOL

    Amy -
    I hope you can join us in August! At a minimum...maybe you can fly in Friday and fly home Sunday morn. then you would just need someone to pup-sit for two nights! My Mom is retired from Nursing, and she pup-sits all the time for fun! Sorry, but your place is a little far! LOL Hope you can work something out.

    RoseMarie/Mrs. B -
    I can imagine how emotional you would get watching your little one perform. I get emotional when I see just my nieces perform! Especially when Sydney graduated from eighth grade - I was sobbing! LOL

    ravdeb -
    Okay...let's see if I have this right...we don't only have the case of the Gigantic Israeli Hamsters...but we also have the case of the Mysterious Itchy Boob! OMG - LOL (I hope you're laughing!)

    Graycie -
    I bet your house is nice and quiet today! LOL

    --------------------------

    Everyone - have a great day! Back at ya later...have a lunch date!
  • Graycie
    Graycie Member Posts: 839
    edited May 2007
    Laura, A little too quite. lol...I can't believe I said that...but can you tell how bored I am...

    Debbie, Goody, Goody, Goody.....now you go out and celebrate.

    Ravdeb, Good new's for you too I hope the med's work.
  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited May 2007
    What the heck is hump day?

    hmmmmmmmmm...Laura..I'm happy about my hopeful solution to my fatigue but the mysterious boob itching isn't yet funny to me. It's better now, though so maybe I'll laugh about it when the energy returns...
  • chumfry
    chumfry Member Posts: 642
    edited May 2007
    Hump Day is Wednesday for those of us who work a 5-day week, because it's in the middle. So it's like "getting over the hump" and you coast downhill to the weekend.

    I'm supposed to get my port installed on May 24 with chemo starting the very next day. However, I'm thinking about asking if we can't move this all up a week, so I can start chemo on May 18.

    If I start chemo on May 25, I'm afraid I won't feel up to our get-together in August because my last treatment would be on August 24. If I start a week early, I'll have a week to recuperate before Chicago.

    I'll be on a weekly schedule of three weeks on and one week off. I think I'm going to post a question on several of the boards to see if anyone else is doing this regimen with carboplatin/taxol and see how it affects them.

    I'm also getting itchy just sitting at home waiting. I think I'd rather start chemo than wait another week! How crazy is THAT?

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