2005 ROCK-TOBER CHEMO GIRLS

linny

Cindy, I am so sorry that you have to do chemo again, we are all thinking of you.

My sister may be transferred to a rehab facility this week. She is more aware, and possibly because of this, she has become depressed. Sometimes they restrain her hand because she gets restless and agitated and they dont want her to fall out of bed (which she did one time). She gets so upset when they do, its terrible to see.

The weather has been lovely, flowers are coming up, and everything is beautful and green. But I'm feeling stressed because of my sister, and my upcoming appointments (mammo, and onco.) Because I feel pretty good, a part of me does not want to set foot in the cancer hospital, or see anyone there.

Linda

ravdeb

LInda...rehab for your sister is a good thing. She'll get the right attention that she needs. It might do some really good things for her and you may see improvements you didn't expect to see. I hope I'm right!

I am totally dragging again.I will get to my doctor and have a blood test taken again. I realize that I had a long day at thd hospital yesterday but it wasn't as long as other days, I slept through the night and until about 8 am and I still am exhausted. My son had tracked mud in the house yesterday so I had to wash the stairs. I was really tired after that and just wanted to sleep. Usually once I get going with washing, I can get myself to do a lot more and it energizes me. But I'm just exhausted.

I still need to wash the floors.

My FIL is having a hard time. His blood pressure is low and he has no appetite. He also has an irregular heart beat and the pills aren't fixing it. He may need an electric shock (forgot what it's called but MaryAnne would know). He's getting a TEE echo tomorrow I think. I had that when I was hospitalized to check if the bacterial infection had gone to my heart (it hadn't) and I couldn't tolerate the procedure. They had to put me to sleep.

I hope he's okay with it. Maybe they will put him to sleep because he's old.

I know what you mean, Linda, about not wanting to be near the cancer center. My father in law being in the hospital has brought back all the memories since he's in the same hospital where my cancer center is and where I was hospitalized.

When is your mammo and onc appts?

debbie444

Cindy - that is awful it really stinks.i suppose its for the best reason - and it will put your mind at rest knowing that it is clearing all your body.
When you start chemo we should all find out our wigs and have our picture taken wit them on so you dont feel alone!!

Linda - hoping things start to get better for you at your end soon.

Michelle - I say leave the dog bowls out - show yourself as a dog friendly house!!

We took Mark to his centenary Scout camp on Friday. I have never seen so many cubs and scouts in one place - there were literally thousands of them. we were in the wrong feild at one point and with all of the Jewish scouts from Manchester. I forget what the jewish headwear is called , but they all had them in their pack colours. They looked super.
We pick Mark up on Monday afternoon - i have packed loads of spare clothes but i am laying bets that in true little boy fashion that he is still wearing the ones from Friday ! He is in charge of his tent , being a sixer , his seconder is a little boy who takes high doses of ritalin for ADHD - should be an interesting mix. I was hoping to go away for the bank holiday weekend , but Catherine has invited friends over so the house is full to the seams again. i have spent the time in my allotment which has been calming!!
Laura - pics?????
Kelly - what on earths a 'wife beater'??????? Glad you are being looked after - hope Paula is too.
Deb - chin up. I will send you a pick me up - watch th email , tell your hubby not to be frightened of a strange parcel!!
I have my ultra sounds on wednesday - back in the cancer wing again - whoopee!!

Debbie

Anonymous

Cindy, so sorry you have to do chemo again, but the good news is that we triple negatives respond better to chemo. So here we are holding you up and hoping the chemo zaps every little bit of cancer cell left in your hefty farmgirl body!

Anonymous

maryannecb

Hi Folks, I am back.

Just read all your posts, three pages since last Thursday.

Cindy, I could feel you silently praying sitting in that room. This whole thing is so Deja vu for you. You are right, you are much more knowledgeable. Going in, you know that after time you will feel better and get back in the game of life. Take your chemo as a time to hit this hard. I always looked forward to chemo, keeping in mind that the meds were attacking the cancer and giving me hope.

I applaud you for standing up to the doctor about your port. She obviously has no idea how it feels to be repeatedly poked and live with the fear of lymphedema.

It so sucks, that with todays tests your tumor slipped under the radar and you again have to face chemo...

Fists up!

Anonymous

Brenda -
That photo is GREAT! What an amazing thing...nature's lessons will never cease to amaze me.

Debbie -
Good luck on Wednesday. I'll post some pics soon. I guess the only good thing about me being a double Mast girl, is that I will never have to have another breast MRI or Mammo or ultrasound!

Kelly -
Sounds like you're doing pretty well...glad to hear you were able to enjoy your pool! If you move, will you have another pool?

Linny - Ravdeb -
Best wishes to both of you...Sister and FIL...it's tough...I hope all works out as well as possible.

Meeshell -
OMG - it's great that you already have an interested party! I'm not at all surprised though, your hard work really shows! Yes, we are going to the same resort again, although for the April trip we might go to a different location, (still in the Riviera Maya) but same resort, Iberostar.

-----------------------------------------

Everyone -
Hope you're all doing well. I have a feeling you're all watching the Ted Koppel special...I set it to be recorded tonight, so I can finish my products that are due in the morning! Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

Anonymous

Well I took a break from work and went down stairs and tuned in the Ted Koppel special...definately not a good idea...I am an absolute mess right now! The reality has me terrified! I feel as though I'm paralyzed by fear. Roy turned the TV off and consoled me. I'm shaking my head once again...we need a cure. It's that simple...we need a cure! Why hasn't anyone discovered one? Is it really possible that a cure is not profitable and that's why we don't have one? Is that really possible? Say it isn't so...

Graycie

I am getting ready for bed and thought I would check in. I totally forgot about the Ted Koppel special tonight and after reading what Laura had to say I guess it is a good thing and I am not turning it on.

Brenda, love the picture

I'm exhausted been busy all day. Goodnight everyone.

TracySeattle

Oh My - being on the West Coast, the Ted Koppel thing hasn't started yet.... Now I am not sure if I want to watch it......

We do need a cure DAMN IT. My little friend Emily is losing her battle, then today I found out that another one of the ladies I went to the retreat at HH with has mets to her lungs. How can this happen and why can't they find a cure?

cacenigma

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chumfry

I didn't think I could deal with the Ted Koppel special, so I avoided it deliberately.

Thanks for the great elephant photo, Brenda! I told my mom that story and she really appreciated it.

Maryanne, I think I surprise my doctors sometimes because I'm usually so fun and full of jokes, but if I feel like I'm getting a run-around, I get very quiet, cold and steely. It doesn't happen very often, but it must be kind of a scary thing to see. (Judging by how quickly whoever I'm dealing with tries to make amends and bring back the laughing, joking Cindy.)

ake

I don't think I can watch the special either. And Laura, I think I would end up having the same feelings as you. I don't want to think about "living with cancer" because it makes me feel like it's never going to be away from me and I'm praying that at some point in all this, I'll be far enough out to feel that I "had" cancer...not that I'm "living" with it. We have to have a cure, we have to figure out why cancer is striking women younger and younger (I know of women only 20 with a diagnosis of breast cancer!), and how to control the cancer that does happen. So, I think I'm going to give me permission to have a break from thinking about cancer...at least in regards to tv. I have my blood redraw next week and I'm already getting nervous.

I love, love, love the picture of the elephants, Brenda. Elephants are my absolute favorite....I have them all over my house and all my office at work. They're good luck with their trunks up, and now I love the story that they protect each other.

have a good monday, ladies!

RoseMarie

Whew, glad I missed the Koppel special too!!

TracyNY

Dearest Cindy, I think its an absolute pisser that you have to take chemo all over again. I would hate it too. On the plus side is that we survived it once, you can manage it again. Its what has to be done to put this thing in its place. You'll do fine and I will pray for you.

Amy: Sorry about the dog. I'm a cat lover and it broke my heart when my Kitty Cat (yup, that was his name) got run over.

Laura: Nice to see you back. Glad you had a great time. I am so looking forward to my vacation. I need some days on the beach myself, just chilling.

I flipped and saw Ted Koppel but the fact that it was three hours long was the first turn off and then it was about cancer too?! Awww hell no. Any one who can take solace, motivation, whatever from those shows, wonderful. Give me the synopsis and let me wish I'd watched it. I personally can't be bothered!

debbie444

Who is Ted Koppell?

ake

he's a news anchor and did a news special on "living with cancer". i'm waiting to hear from someone who saw it...i don't want to see it, but the review would be great

Anonymous

Debbie -
Do you get the Discovery Channel?

TaDah -
Your island hopping vacation is almost here! I know you'll have a great time! I'm excited for you.

Tracy -
So sorry about the girls you know. My heart just breaks when I hear about this. So tragic and unnecessary.

-----------------------------

Girls -
Someone started a thread at Moving Beyond re: last night's program. And so far the majority felt the same way I did...it was depressing and it was geared more toward showing those NOT "living with cancer" what it's like to live with cancer. I still would like to see the EE portion, but couldn't stand to watch it to that point last night, so I may fast forward to it tonight. Perhaps her optimism will rub off on me!

Hope you're all having a great day.

-----------------------------------

Paula -
I really wish you'd check in...I wonder if you're even out of the hospital yet!...hope so. Either way, I hope you're resting comfortably and perky!

ravdeb

Hi Ladies...
It was another long day at the hospital with my FIL. He had two different procedures but by the end of the day he was wide awake and hungry and ate a good dinner. He has a good nurse watching over him, too.

I'm very nervous about my appointment with my surgeon tomorrow. It was set up for a regular follow up but I have this itchy nipple that hasn't stopped itching on my "good" boob. I also noticed it's more inverted than usual. I'm nervous about it and will point it out to him. My dh can't go with me because he'll be with his dad and it's not in the same place. My surgeon is in the north and his dad is in the south. So, my daughter is leaving work early so she can go with me. That's how nervous I am! My oncologist said it's possible he'll take a biopsy. A biopsy of what? I don't appear to have any lumps. I just had an ultrasound.

Debbie... I'll warn my dh good luck with your ultrasound!

Brenda..I love the elephant pic. I have to take a picture of MY elephant and post it. When I have more time....

We have the Discovery channel but the Ted Koppel program isn't scheduled on it. It may show up months or years later!

Paula..how are you doing?

Kelly..sounds nice to float in the pool...

Must get to bed...
G'nite everybody.

Anonymous

Sometimes the best way to forget your own problems is to help someone solve theirs.

Anonymous

Yippy - I got to use bump boy!

ake

deb,
hang in there about your appt. tomorrow. imagine all your elephants with you...with bright pink ribbons on their tails! i'm glad your daughter is going with you. i do better with my appts. going by myself. for some reason, it's easier to be in denial that way. but, if you're really nervous for tomorrow, definitely go with someone. i'll be thinking of you and I'm here for you!!!!!

Anonymous

ravdeb -
Good Morning! I am wishing you the very best with your appt.!

Happy/positive thoughts are sent your way...my gut tells me you will be just fine!

Curlylocks

Good Evening Sisters,

Today was a beautiful, sunny warm almost summer like day here…temps will be in the upper 20’s Celcius until the weekend when they will become more seasonable. We have not had any rain for a week, none forecasted until Sunday.

Well our 2nd showing on the house today went kaboom.LOL. Our real estate office called at 4:00 pm. to say that the agent had cancelled the 2nd showing, no reason…whatever, maybe they decided that it was a waste to bring their dog as it probably wouldn’t be able to maneouver our steep stairs. We were a little disappointed but maybe jumping the gun with excitement, thinking these people were our buyers. I guess patience is in order here, but I have no patience so I got busy and did some painting in the basement while my dh is working tonight. We anticipate that sooner or later a buyer will scoop up the house.

I am one for doing things on the fly and decided to colour my own hair last night. There was a little too much grey in my hair so coloured it a lighter brown, it almost looks like it has so light red highlights. I did start to put the highlighting stuff that comes with the colour but chickened out thinking it was going to look like a skunk. My dh was trying his hardest to hold the mirror so I could see the back but it was too hard to do on my own so quickly rinsed it out…no lasting damage thankfully.

Everyone has been mentioning the “Living with Cancer” special last night on Discovery, didn’t watch it and am kinda glad now that I didn’t. I mentioned to my dh that I wouldn’t mind taping it, but it wasn’t listed on our satellite and he made the comment that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea that I watched it. It sounds like it was a little depressing and don’t need any more help thinking about “the what if’s”, denial land suits me fine most days. I do admire Lance Armstrong though, read his book when I was first diagnosed “Its not about the Bike” and found it very inspiring in some ways but back then chemo scared the crap out of me!

Has anyone else booked their trip for our August get together?

Deb – good luck with your appt with your surgeon, glad to hear that you daughter is going with you. I am thinking positive vibes that everything will be okay. Your father in law seems to be doing a little better as he is eating which is always a good sign..

Linda – so sorry that you are having to worry about your sister. It would be so tough knowing that she is aware at what is happening and them having to restrain her…big hugs sister.

Debbie444 – benign thoughts for you on Wednesday. It sounds like you have a full house if it is busting at the seams.LOL. Love your sayings….

Laura – I am anxiously awaiting your pictures, love the sunny warm south! This fall will be our fifth visit to “Couples” in Jamaica. I don’t think there is anyone that we don’t know that has had a family member affected by this damn disease, yes WE DO NEED A CURE NOW!!! I would shutter to think that someone would be holding back the cure…makes you wonder…that would be so so not right or ethical… I think the money that the governments waste sending people to the moon should be better spent on finding cures for diseases including cancer.

Love that bump “picture”, makes me laugh everytime I see that man’s big belly and that girl’s look on her face, hee heeJ

Tracyseattle – sorry to hear about your friend Emily and your other friend as well…it stinks to hear this kind of news.

Cindy – those docs better not mess with you, good for you for speaking up! If heaven forbid I ever had to go the chemo route again, without a doubt would do the port as my veins in my right arm are totally gone.

Amy – I appreciate the way that you convey your thoughts and a lot of times I nod yes as the same thoughts come to mind. Good luck on your blood draws!

TracyNy – you crack me up…hell no.LOL. Cant wait to meet you in person! Loved the name of cat, kitty cat…OMG…it brings to mind that my dh called our puppy Scobby and everyone laughs at it…should have called her puppy! Where are you headed off to now, island hopping…any room in your suitcase for a few sisters?

Paula – hope to hear from you soon!

Rosemarie – I haven’t been to the gym in a long long time, but do get out and walk. Do have to get my butt in gear and return.

Kelly – I can picture yourself and Teryn floating around the pool, how relaxing that sounds. What the heck is a “wife beater”?

Time for bed.

Love to you all.
Michele

Anonymous

ravdeb

It's the name of a company??? Not sure I like that name!

Thanks for all your well wishes. I woke up a nervous wreck. Last night my daughter said she'd come if she COULD. She has a problem leaving work early. I am not sure my dh realizes just how dang nervous I am about this appointment because I don't get nervous about any of them. I keep telling him about the itching and inverted nipple and he hears me but ignores it. I think he can't deal with any more things because he's so worried about his dad (his dad is improving but it's slow). Last night when we got home, he went over to his parents' yard to load his truck and his mom was out there (it was about 10 at night) lugging a box of onions down the stairs. Have no idea why!He got so angry with her, he said. He told me that all he needed now was that his mom would end up in the emergency room for falling down. She has fallen many times and we rush her to the emergency room...for things like this! She has nervous energy and can't stop cleaning her house, I guess.

So, I think he wants to just not go with me to this appt and deny that I might need a biopsy so he doesn't answer me when I tell him.

However, he said that maybe our son can trade places with him at the hospital and he'll come home early and take me. I'd rather he do that than my daughter but we'll see how things work out.

Michele..sorry about your showing. Somebody will come and buy it. Give it a bit of time. YOu only just put it on the market!!!

Debbie..your appt is tomorrow??? Good luck!

I'm off to the clinic to get the address of the clinic where I need to go and to see my family doctor about a retake on my TSH level. Too many health issues. I'm overwhelmed. I went through my envelope making sure I had all my tests to show this doctor..though he is in the same network and can look up the results. However..the mammogram is still on film. I wonder if he will want to order a breast MRI for this new thing before doing a biopsy. CR*P...if it's Paget, then most of those have underlying breast cancer. I've become a hypochondriac. Never was before bc.

debbie444

A Wife beater is a tank top??? Just how did that come about?????
Deb - hope all goes well at your app. I have been to two on my own but will admit i am better if someone comes with me. Roger comes with me tomorrow.
Yes we get discovery - which discovery - we get a few.
Picked Mark up from camp. Didnt have much washing to do - he appears to have lived in the same clother for 4 days!! I tell a lie , he was wearing a different T shirt , as for socks and pants - forget it!! He seems to have had a good time , rock climbing , rifle shooting , soap box derby racing. He was certaintly tired - didnt even wake up when Catherine shouted that she had been sick!!
Ok - got to get ready for work - nice easy week - off yesterday for the bank holiday , off 1/2 day Wed for Us and off Fri for Nursery trip.
Paula - how you doing ?????? (didnt mean it to sound like my favourite Joey from friends!)

Debbie

lisaelder1972

Ali,
We have some wonderful threads with tons of information on chemo and treatment.We also have groups of girls that have went through their journey together.A "wife beater" is a sleeveless shirt,or a tank top, my husband has a few and he treats me like a queen.If you are newly diagnosed,there are threads for all legs of our journey.We do support each other and sometimes we joke and play around.No one intended to offend you and if you questions all you have to do is post them and you will recieve information and advice from those that have been there.I would like to welcome you to our forum,along with all my sisters.These wonderful ladies helped me through the barkest period of my life and I have formed friendships that are very near to my heart.It may suit you better if you post and start a new thread.We will be more than happy to help you.Take Care.


Lisa

ravdeb

Debbie...how is Catherine? You said she was sick?

Okay..so my dh is coming with me. My youngest son will go to the hospital and sit with his grandfather there and my dh will come home and take me to my appt. I'm way too nervous about this.

I went to my family doctor today. He is sending me for a whole list of blood tests (hope my vein behaves) which I'll have tomorrow. I told him I was nervous about my surgeon appt and he took my blood pressure thinking it would be high but it was LOW! He said if this is under stress then it must be really low! He said I need to double the amount I'm drinking and do these blood tests.

So, in the next couple of days I'll have some more answers, I guess. I have trouble drinking water ever since chemo but yesterday discovered that the flavored water went down better. I've already drunk my normal amount of water and it's only 11 am so I should be able to double it with no problem.

Paula..miss you. Hope all is okay.

ravdeb

Lisa..thanks for the nice post...I hope that Ali finds the help she needs. I sure have. The women were just joking around..nothing more than that...