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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006

    Good luck today Carrie. We're all hoping for the best for you!

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Thank you Shemp and everyone sorry I just saw this~
    I posted this on a ccouple of other threads
    that Fumi started for me ((((Fumi))))

    WELL they did an ultra sound and clicked and measured and
    clicked and measure some more... Yikes! So I was in a panick for a little while trying to call Cowgirl and Denise on my cell phone
    and doing what any self respected newbie does and tryed to get them to dx me over the phone by telling them what the Tech were looking at, looked like!
    And guess what, I just have to wait like everyone else Rats! I go back to the surgeon on Wednesday, and I am taking it as a good sign if I don't hear anything untill then. I have word from Vets, pooh-bahs and Carpal tunnels this is a good sign too !

    The outpouring of support from everyone here has been amazing !! You all ROCK !!

    Carrie
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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006

    Aug 4th was Kristen's 1 year from diagnosis anniversary. What a whirlwind year. It's hard to believe life has returned to a relative "normal" in that relatively short time.

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  • mags
    mags Member Posts: 233
    edited August 2006
    Hi Carrie, thinking of you. Will have everything crossed till Wednesday.
    Hugs
    Mags
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited August 2006

    Shemp!!! What a celebration! My one year I felt so liberated! Like life could honestly resume again, hug her for me!

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  • mags
    mags Member Posts: 233
    edited August 2006
    Hi ladies and gentlemen, the thread was slipping so I thought that I'd better post. I'm on my holidays now

    image

    so I'm off to the salt water lake for lunch. I'm waiting to get my laptop sorted out so I can use it on line. The rest of the week is going to be spent at the beach. Way too hot here though - over 100 degrees. Think I will be needing a swim today,
    Hugs
    Mags
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Mags,
    So good to see you ! We finally got a break from heat here
    it is 75 degrees today, beautiful!
    Have lots and lots of rest and relaxation on
    your holiday !!
    Shemp big WOOHOO on Kristens one yr !!!
    What a year it has been , Denise's was dx'd june 13th
    and started treatment july 13th

    When is your anniversary Mags ?

    hugs,
    Carrie
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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006
    Argh. The mammography dept called this morning. That's bad because they said they'd send a letter if all checked out. Kristen had to go have a second mammogram and an ultrasound done after lunch. The oncology nurse speculated that the radiologists get a little freaked out about the scar tissue that shows up on the scan. So now we're hoping that's all it is. Yeesh. I have to believe that 5 months out of rads is a little early for stage 1 w/ clear margins to be making a return... at least visibly.


    EDIT: Just found this, whew: http://www.breastcancer.org/qanda_diagnosis_scar_tissue.html
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  • mags
    mags Member Posts: 233
    edited August 2006
    Hi Shemp, my first mammo after my surgery, which was one year out aswell, the radiologist came into the room while my plastic surgeon was examining me and the doctor said ,'See that's where the scar is'. After he left the doctor told me the radiologist had thought the scar tissue was something else aswell. Now I've just had my second mammo - two years out- and now they have something to compare it with and no panics. Let's hope this is the same for you.
    Carrie, I've had my two year anniversary, 9th or 10th of August I never remember lol. I still have my plastic bracelet from my op but it's gone missing. It has the date on it. Weather has been way too hot here - yesterday was even hotter. I didn't swim, was afraid of burning. Maybe today.
    Hope everyone is well.
    Hugs
    Mags
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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006

    Hey Mags, you'd think doctors would have that figured out by now rather than scaring the crap out of people, eh?

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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Shemp,
    Sending you and Kristen lots of B9 scar tissue only
    thoughts ! They always put a marker over my scar `
    So the radiologist knows. Let us know Shemp I will
    be keeping you both in my thoughts ~

    Geez I hate the wait for results scarey crap !

    ((((Kristen))))
    ((((Shemp))))
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  • mywifehascancer
    mywifehascancer Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2006
    Hi all, new here. My wife was dx'd in June with Stage II BC which has spread to multiple lymph nodes. She is having a mastectomy/reconstruction on 9/7 followed by radiation and chemo.

    I want to be prepared but I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO HELP!

    Can you give me some pointers or tell me where I can go to read about the types of things I can do ahead of time to make sure her recovery from surgery is easier?

    I've read a bunch of books on breast cancer--even Breast Cancer Husband but I still feel like it's a situation of "be ready for anything" because anything can happen and no 2 cancer patients are the same.

    All input appreciated.
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited August 2006
    Hi MWHC,
    Welcome you have found a very good site for info and support for both you and your wife, and sorry you have to be here. Hopefully one of the guys will be by soon but untill then I will try and offer some advise.

    When she first comes home expect her needing help mobilty
    is limited. Maybe some nice button down the front pj's
    and shirts so she does'nt have to reach over her head and easy to get to the drains. offer to wash her hair for her,
    house cleaning things like that will really help alot.
    some good light reading and videos. Let her talk to you,
    and don't be afraid to talk to her. Expect this to be a rollercoaster of a journey, but I am sure that you are already aware of that because of the way you have tried to prepare. And you are very right of be prepared for anything she may sail right through chemo and rads or she may feel sick, each responds differently.

    But the most importain thing that you will read over and over here is how importain it is to just be there,listen,
    take your cues from her support her but it sounds like there will be no worries there as you sound like a very supportive husband.

    Come back as much as you need or want we are here for you.
    Carrie
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  • tflowers
    tflowers Member Posts: 442
    edited August 2006

    I agree with Carrie, just be there when she needs you for the smallest thing. It can get tiring, but remember this is new for her also. My husband was wonderful and I know I would have been a mess if not for his support and putting up with my frustration and bit**ing. Good luck

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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006

    Sounds like you did most of your homework, and anything you missed, Carrie addressed. The only thing I might add to that is have several pillows handy. If she's only having a single side done, she can use the pillows to prop herself into a more comfortable position. This site is really useful, glad you found it, but sorry you had to.

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  • tflowers
    tflowers Member Posts: 442
    edited August 2006

    Just remembered...get one of the soft squishy pillows filled with micro beads for your wife to ride home with under her breast side. It really helped with the bumps on the road. I stll have mine in my bed, little fluffy pink heart. It is a life saver....

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  • mywifehascancer
    mywifehascancer Member Posts: 2
    edited August 2006
    Thanks all! I just wrote a nice long emotional mind dump and took too long--so the form expired.
    I'm usually the one offering help and advice so it's weird to be asking for it.

    Yeah, "weird" just doesn't really describe anything to do with cancer-does it?
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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006
    Quote:

    Yeah, "weird" just doesn't really describe anything to do with cancer-does it?



    I frequently used the word "surreal" from diagnosis through the end of treatment. The thing is, don't worry too much about what or how to do things for her. From what it looks like, you care a lot, and with that, you'll just do what needs to be done as it comes along. There's no script, you just do what has to be done.
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited August 2006

    Wow Shemp! I am praying for b9 scar tissue! Mom has a spot she is going Tuesday to have it seen, she kept it from me. But when I asked why she was going she said two people told her she needed to check it out. It is on her non cancer side, so we can hope!

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  • tflowers
    tflowers Member Posts: 442
    edited August 2006

    cowgirl, fingers and toes crossed for good news.

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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited August 2006
    Quote:

    I am praying for b9 scar tissue!



    Whoops, I should have updated, they believe it is scar tissue after the followup mammo and ultrasound. So now 6 more months of freedom before the next checkup.
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  • cowgirl
    cowgirl Member Posts: 777
    edited August 2006

    Yay!!! Congrats Shemp and Kristen!!!

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  • joannar
    joannar Member Posts: 30
    edited September 2006
    Hi all!
    Sorry we haven't come around for a visit in so long! Have had a busy summer, but good busy, not like last summer, busy with surgeries!! Joanna is doing great, she had her second PET scan with an all clear. And we are getting ready to do the NYC Race for the cure on Sunday. I'll give you the links to our Race pages so you can read her story and see some photos. Speaking of stories the Newspaper also wrote a sory about Joanna and her Mom (also a survivor) and I'll include a link to that artical as well.
    Race team page- http://www.komennyc.org/site/TR?pg=team&fr_id=1130&team_id=10400
    Race personal story- http://www.komennyc.org/site/TR?px=1234603&pg=personal&fr_id=1130
    Newspaper article- http://www.newsday.com/news/health/ny-hsrace0908,0,6946677.story?coll=ny-leadhealthnews-headlines

    Good to hear everything ended up being fine Shemp! How are the Goats Cowgirl?

    Don't let this thead die out!!

    Alex and Joanna
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  • csp
    csp Member Posts: 2,765
    edited September 2006
    Alex and Joanne,
    Your family is so beautiful thank you for sharing this with us! Joanne I love your hair!! I know you might not, Denise's is the same like yours , I have given her a hair cut and dyed it for her and getting ready to give her another she looks very cute with short spikey hair too !

    Hugs and Kisses to you both, the baby's
    and Way to Go Lady!!!!

    Carrie
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  • tmoth
    tmoth Member Posts: 2
    edited September 2006
    Johno
    Last month i met via the net the most remarkable woman i have ever met.She told me straight away that she had BC. At the time i had no idea of the effects BC can have on a partner. Sometimes i feel very inadequate other times i feel very strong. There is a 1000 questions i'd like to ask another man who's partner has BC. What i'm looking for is advice on things to say and not to say etc. Being there for her does not come into it because thats where i am and where i'm going to stay.Last night was awful, we live about 15 miles apart and we were talking on the phone and she was feeling very low crying etc i just wanted to hold her but couldn't, this is where i need the advice because i feel i'm treading on eggshells all the time,not knowing how to handle a situation like that.
    I have read a few posts already and will work my way through the rest of them in time but would like some quick advice in the meantime.
    Thanks for taking the time to read this, my first post
    Good luck to all partners of BC
    Johno
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  • mags
    mags Member Posts: 233
    edited September 2006
    Hi Johno, sorry none of our men have been along to answer you.
    From my point of view as a survivor I think the best thing that you can do is what you're doing. Be there to support her. I'll let the men tackle the what to say and what not to say question lol.
    Good luck,
    Mags
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  • MIdb
    MIdb Member Posts: 27
    edited September 2006

    Johno, I know how you feel about the eggshells. A lot of time, I don't even try to say anything. Sometimes, I think even saying: "I love you" is even the wrong thing to say. There have been many nights, where all I do is sit beside her and stroke her hair. Her mom did that when she was very sick as a small child, and it is one thing she responds well to. She recently cracked a rib sneezing. The other day, I went to hug her as she walked down the hall. She moved to avoid me, and bumped her side against the wall, causing a significant amount of pain. She did not want to tell me that she didn't want a hug because she thought it would hurt my feelings. I told her that I understand there are times when she wants me to keep my distance, and all she has to do is say so. I know it is all part of her grief. But it does make me walk on eggshells. But I let her know that she is the most important thing in my world right now. And I try to be her strength. Sometimes that is all one can do.

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  • Shemp
    Shemp Member Posts: 89
    edited October 2006
    How's everyone? It was nice reading up on Joanna's article. I read it sometime back, but didn't get around to replying. Thankfully, that's because there's some normalcy around our place.

    She's back at work and taking two graduate courses this fall. Don't think she'll be attempting that again soon. She's not found a lot of spare time lately. All's good on our front. Hope the same can be said for all of you. Where's Greg, our fearless leader, been?

    Take care and I hope it's as nice where you are as it is here today.
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  • MIdb
    MIdb Member Posts: 27
    edited October 2006
    Ruth Ellen started Faslodex just over a week ago. This weekend, I almost had to tie her down We visited a place her mother visited on her senior class trip (in 1942), and Ruth was taking pictures from the same angles her mother did. I tell you it was like watching an 8 yr old on Christmas morning. I did not know she could walk so fast with her cane. Go, go, go....gone! She tired me out! On Sunday, her legs hurt from all the exercise! But she is feeling great!!!!!! And of course, that does a lot to lift my spirits as well. Hopefully, this is a good sign on how the Faslodex is working.
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  • joannar
    joannar Member Posts: 30
    edited November 2006
    Hey everyone it's Alex. Just wanted to say hi and keep this thread going. Greg, Cowgirl,Shemp, Carry, Mags and all the people that have recently joined the thread.
    It's been a long time. I am hoping everyone is doing good and that you find the time to stop by and say hello.
    Alex
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