MOJO Without Matrimony!

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  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited June 2008

    just wanting to send in a wave!!

    reading you gals is like going through a people magazine - only better because there is all the inside information too!!! LOL

    Jaybird - internation flights - especially in business - are fantastic to get laid. On the flight and off the flight... plus dates for the layover. HMMMM. great memories. In my books, Milan and Paris should give better chances than - say - manchester... I used to check out the population already in the lounge ;)

     Marin... that website is *quite* something. better than any literature - I didn't know there were NAMES for all those.... LOL

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2008

    Hi Lilith,

     Welcome to our little discussion about everything "mojo". Our motto is "BE bad, be very bad" and we always like fresh new ideas from our "cyber-sisters."

    Marin....GIDDY-UP abe - ride that cowboy and then you hav got to tell us all about it.

    The butterfly sounds interesting - as soon as I decide to date - will have to try that one.

    Lorena - WE ARE THINKING ABOUT YOU TODAY! Post soon and let us know how you are doing - inquiring minds want to know!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2008

    Lori-yep, Im likin the butterfly!!!!!!!! Can you say OOOOOOOOO!!!!! Surprised

    lilith-Welcome to our little world here!!! feel free to jump in, just gotta remember to "Be Bad"

    Marin---Will be waiting with baited breath to hear how your weekend goes...Im going to check out your link when I get home from work as Im thinking IT might have issues about it at work....but who knows maybe thats where they get all their info, can you imagine the web sites they find that people go toFoot in mouth

    Pepper-hope your weather is as wonderful as it is here, although it is suppose to be in the 100's this weekend...might be a little hot, but I have a plan for that too.....my roses are in full bloom and smelling scrumptious....so am planning on having a little camp out in the yard with David.

    Lorena-hope your home and comfortable girl.....check in when you feel up to it....

    Work is calling so gotta go-you ladies have tons of fun MOJO-ing!!!!

     Jule

    PS-Jay, I hope you come home with tons of stories to tell us!!!!! and have a blast girlfriend, you deserve it..

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  • jdash
    jdash Member Posts: 754
    edited June 2008

    marin  i caught up on all your posts tonite and i think i am loving  this "P" guy

    maybe he was taking it slow because he was still caught up with this other woman and i really respect that!

    have fun and tell us all about it

    I

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  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited June 2008

    Jule, already?! LOL...you don't waste any time, love it!  And yes...I say a big O! Wink

    Hope everyone has a bad bad weekend. And furthermore that you tell us allll about it.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2008

    Lori,

    I already had experienced the butterfly, just didnt realize it had a name!!!!!

    I second Lori's request for everyone to have BAD, BAD weekend!!!!!

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  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited June 2008

    Jule...well Cosmo named it, and it may be that name or I may have made it up, I just can't remember. lol

    I'm still waiting for some details girls. Cuz I definitely had a bad (as in not good) weekend and bad (as in very bad) mojo. Ugh! My bf thinks (and I guess rightly so) that if he drinks he'll "numb up a bit" last longer and it will be better for me. Well guess what? That system almost always backfires but he never gives it up. Usually it just ruins his enjoyment, which he says he's fine with, WHA?...but this weekend it ruined my good time as well. Excuse me bud, you're not even in the right neighborhood. LOL I don't know whether to laugh or cry sometimes. I know the man truly loves me and is loyal as the winter is long in Minnesota. But, I'm wondering if I should have insisted on a summer fling rather than agree to a second try of our relationship. Sorry to whine girls...sometimes I just don't know if I expect too much or not enough.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2008

    O-----M-----G, O--M--G, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!! My weekend with P was un-freakin'-believable, ya'll!

    I don't even know where to begin, so I'll begin with Saturday afternoon/evening when we went out to dinner and then to an acoustic guitar concert featuring a terrific singer-songwrite, Iris DeMent. It was not only a great concert, but he kept his arm around me the entire time and just lightly brushed my shoulder, arm, back and sort of under my arm very close to my breast. I was going absolutely crazy but, of course, played it cool. He drove me home and came in for coffee and chocolate, but I never got around to more than my first sip of coffee when he started kissing me.  And it went on from there. He spent the night and we didn't slow down until after 4am Got a little sleep, had coffee, went to work out together at his gym (god, that was hot!), and then went back to his place and did it again and again....over & over. Positions? I can't even count how many (but no butterfly, Lori, except for a few that are called butterfly on the website I posted above). I can just say that it was so incredibly amazing and hot and intimate and sexy!!!! And I feel awesome....EXCEPT, um, how shall I put this? I'll just say that he is absolutely the largest man I've ever, ever seen and I'm not talking about his height or weight! I mean seriously, y'all, HUGE, HUGE, HUGE! So when he was joking around about whether size really matters and I was thinking he must be pretty small, he was actually worried about my being able to accomodate him! So I've actually bled a little all day...but I totally don't mind one bit! I'm sure I'll get quite used to his size! Yessssssssss!

    Oh and here's one amusing occurence fromn Saturday night. We were getting real busy at one point when my new kitten, Katia, started making a big ruckus. I finally caught up with her in the bathroom at the same time that P asked "What's that smell?" So I look down and she looks like she's had diarrhea all over herself. But it wasn't that and she was running all over trying to rub herself on the rug. Then what did we realize? Poor liitle Katia, who had been bouncing all over us as we made love, had backed up and sat down on a fully-lit candle and her fur (and eyebrows) were all singed. We emersed her in a bucket of cool water and combed her out, after which she seemed fine. Whew! Talk about Mrs O'Leary's cow!

    So, gettin' the MOJO, y'all, and it is the sweetest thing imaginable!!!!!!!!!

    ~Marin

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  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited June 2008

    Yea Marin - glad you had a rockin' great time!!!

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  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited June 2008

    Marin? You can "get used" to the size? Well...how..ahem...big of you. bwahaha  As long as "it" doesn't frighten you, I'll just say, lucky you girl! lol

    I'm really happy that you had a wonderful weekend and things are looking good with P after all.

     PS...sorry for the whine earlier girls, and I sure didn't mean to sound shallow. The issues which are giving me doubt about our future actually have nothing to do with mojo, that just happened to be the subject at hand, and an excuse to vent.  It's kind of sad ...when you're young you think if two people are in love, and someone treats you well, that's all it takes. Too bad life isn't always that simple. Lots of shades of gray in between the black and white. OMG, there I go again....I really need to lighten up this weekend...or at least contain myself to the bitchy thread for a couple of days. LOL

    Marin...you GO girl!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2008

    Marin Baby - well rock on - glad it was everythig that you thought it would be. 'YOU WERE BAD - VERY BAD!!!!

    Lori - don't worry about venting here - you can vent allyou want and we didn't think that you were whining in the least. This thread is about friendship - not just MOJO!!!!! Okay!

    So the next time you feel out of sorts - come here and we will lend you that ear and a "cyber" hug.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited June 2008

    Pepper is exactly right, Lori....we're here to share about how we feel. Mojo is a big part of how we navigate during our BC journey, but so many other things impact that. So whining is absolutely allowed. And, after all, you were talking about your intimate relationship, right? Hang in there, girl...these things ebb and flow so much, ya know? And thanks for your good wishes!

    So Lauren, we're missing you and want to hear how your mastectomy went and how you're feeling. Check in, girl!

    ~Marin

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  • Miss_Lolli
    Miss_Lolli Member Posts: 560
    edited July 2008

    Thanks girlfriends, big hugs! I've been thinking about Lorena too. Hope your recovery time is quick and we hear from you soon hon.

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited July 2008

    I think without "Matrimony" I would have more "MOJO" LOL, sorry I just had to put that out there as I hear my hubby snore up a storm...LOL Promises, promises.

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  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited July 2008

    Hey everyone, thanks so much for thinking of me!  I've only been able to type for a few minutes at a time, but I've been reading. Marin, I am SO happy that things with P are wonderful, I will keep fingers crossed that you continue on this path.

    I am home and doing well.  My surgery on Thursday ended up starting later than expected -- I didn't get out of recovery until 6pm - and I didn't feel ready to go home the following day, so I stayed in the hospital until Saturday morning.  Surgery went well, no complications.  I went home with two drains that hurt like HELL whenever I moved -- fortunately the output from the drains decreased rapidly and I was able to get them out yesterday, so I am much more comfortable now.  Still achy and sore, but no sharp, stabbing pains anymore.  I've stopped the oxycodone and I'm just taking heavy doses of ibuprofen. My aunt is staying with me and she has been wonderful -- and she's a really good cook, too! Smile

    The silver lining in all of this is the immediate reduction I had on the other side -- I went from a DDD cup to a full C (probably a D now because it's still swollen).  The first time I looked at my "new" breast, all I could say was "wow, it is CUTE!" The ps did a great job, I haven't lost any skin or nipple sensation, and the size is just perfect.  The mastectomy side looks sort of weird and freaky of course, but for some reason it isn't nearly as disturbing to me as losing my hair.  I am looking forward to getting reconstruction on that side in the future, but for now, I am ok with it.  When I put one of those puffy forms inside a camisole and put a shirt over it, I look completely normal.

    I am anxiously awaiting the pathology report -- I really don't want any surprises this time.  I am hoping I'll get a call before the July 4th long weekend.

    DBF is being so-so, as usual.  I haven't seen him for more than 5 minutes since my surgery. He had his kids all weekend and stopped by once to drop off a card and some chocolates, but I had to ask him to come last night and give me a hug.  I am past being disappointed, I have plenty of other stuff to worry about right now.

    ExH just called, he is bringing my son over for a visit right now! 

    Lauren

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    ((((((((LAUREN)))))))))...Yay for no complications, not to mention no unexpected (or expected) freaking out! One never knows how she'll react to something as potentially traumatic as losing a breast until it becomes reality. It sounds like this is your first step in getting a smaller, finer, perkier rack, though, so it's actually a good thing!

    Sounds like you've got your priorities absolutely straight though when it comes to expectations regarding DBF. He is who he is, right? And you've got more important things to focus on right now....like your health and your son!

    Keep healing, sweetie, and stick with us here....we'll provide the entertainment, okay?

    ~Marin

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    Now Mary-Lou....I hear ya since I was married for 28 years! Maybe you should consider waking your husband up with a little fondling or some oral....unless he has cardiac problems Wink?

    ~Marin

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  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited July 2008

    LOL Marin...we will be getting to all of that this week end. We are leaving Thursday for our anniversary trip. The room will definitely smell like "HOT CHERRIES" The rest of the family will be coming over later for the family activities. That is why we are going early. Embarassed

    His parents have a place at the river....so all the cost is gas. Thanks for letting me pop in on you gals....P sounds so Goooooood.

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  • Yogi70
    Yogi70 Member Posts: 654
    edited July 2008
    Hey Ladies!!!   I usually lurk on this board because I'm married but you ladies are so much fun!!!!Laughing  I just had to chime in and say GO MARIN!!!  I've been rooting for you and P.!!!!!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    Yogi...Welcome and thanks for the good wishes! I'm about to leave on vacation to Emerald Isle with P and expect that things between us will only get better!

    And even though this thread targets unmarried women, all adventurous posters are most welcome!

    ~Marin

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    Just a quick run through this morning....

    Marin-Im sooooo excited for you and P!!!!!!!!

    Life is good for David and I....Im still amazed at the man!!!!!!

    Im at work so will check back later but couldnt resist a quick hello to you all....

    Jule's STILL being BAD, happily mojo-ing Wink

    PS-Yes Yogi, this isnt just for us single girls!!!! Welcome to our little play world.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    Yogi,

    Welcome to our little world of MOJO-ING....

    I'm gearing up for VEGAS BABY! I'm so ready for vacation and need to get away from the "looney bin".

    Hope everyone has a great 4th of July!!! 

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  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited July 2008

    No mojo in Milano for me but it sure is nice here!

    Ciao!

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  • WildRose
    WildRose Member Posts: 244
    edited July 2008

    Ugh, my instant messenger system went down yesterday and I didn't know it, so now I'm sure my SO thinks I'm mad at him. He hasn't been on all day. Of course, he could have called me yesterday to make sure everything was OK, but no, he didn't, so I guess it wasn't worth $5 to see if I was still alive or not (I've just last night fought off a bout of depression.)

    Anyway, I guess I'm looking for a new SO. LOL.

    I'm so tired of giving a sh!t! Tongue out

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    Oh Rose sweetie, maybe you can try to find a few additional online boy toys to "chat" with so that when SO is pissed and pouting, you can still have fun?! Life is here for us to embrace, girl, so letting someone with so many ups & downs have so much control is probably not such a great idea, right? On the other hand, if you really want to connect with him, why don't you send a sexy email telling him exactly how you've been thinking of him and what you'd like to be doing with him? I say reach for what you need, ya know?

    So I'm just back from the beach with P and can't begin to tell you how hot that man makes me! We do seem to be on very similar libido levels (like insatiable!) and enjoy many of the same naughty things. As for positions, I couldn't possibly count the ways, but I WILL report (Lori!) having tried the butterfly way several times with great success and even with a special twist that actually enhanced the pleasure bigtime...with the tops of your feet above his knees and your knees flared out, he grips your shins and draws you rhythmically up and down with his hands. Verrrrry nice! Another amazingly titillating experience I can recommend is food play and, specifically, playing with a ripe, cut-up mango. Yes, my chicas, I set about peeling and chunking a mango and ended up rubbing the luscious, gooey fruit all over my...ahem, va-jay-jay, while he watched and then, dove in to taste. It was absolutley delicious....for both of us!!! And we have the pictures to prove it, along with quite a few other bad, bad, VERY BAAAAAD pics that are beyond exciting!

    Oh yeah, we sure did have a very fine vacation!!!!! Tongue out

    ~Marin

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  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited July 2008

    Whoa, Marin, you go girl!  I am so happy that P was worth waiting for.  I wish my dbf was more adventurous in bed.  Last year a friend was having a sex toys party, so I went just for the fun of it and came back with some sort of stimulating cream.  He thought it tasted terrible and that was the end of that....

    I am 10 days out from surgery (mastectomy + reduction on the other side) and recovery is going well.  I'm even able to sleep on both sides with a pillow under me!.  DBF is still scared to touch me, and rather freaked out about the body changes.  We were both kid-free on Saturday (a rare occurence) so we went to the movies, but he barely looked down at the boob region and went home to sleep alone after a couple of kisses.  I'm actually kind of eager to show off my newly-reduced breast -- it's still sore and bruised but the shape is so CUTE -- but so far he clearly isn't ready to take a peek.  Oh well, I know it's early, but still... did anyone out there have a mastectomy and a SO who took a while to feel comfortable with it?

    Lauren 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2008

    Lauren....I didn't have a mastectomy, but can certainly guess what he might be feeling and how he might be encouraged to come around more rapidly. I don't know if you had him look at pictures of post-mastectomies or the various stages of recon, but if not, he probably expects something so shocking that he's afraid he'll start screaming and head for the hills. Seriously, the first time someone showed me her mast site, I was terrified that I'd be so grossed out she would know and be very hurt. And I didn't really even know that woman all that well. So I'm guessing that you dbf is afraid of his own reaction and would rather not face that yet. I'm thinking, then, that he will follow your lead in allowing him to gradually experience this new body of yours and, so, your own attitude is most crucial. Maybe once the bandages are all gone, the incision sites heal better and the bruising fades, you can don a seriously sexy camisole and strut your stuff. In the meantime, perhaps you guys want to make a deal to stay below the waist in your pleasureable activities?

    And speaking of sex toys, I forgot to mention that we stopped at a store on Saturday and bought a cock ring with a bullet vibrator. It is awesome! We also browsed the other toys and might explore something more adventurous in the future Wink. I'll tell ya, this guy has me feeling like an addict!

    ~Marin

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited July 2008

    Lauren,

    I had a unilateral (left) mastectomy with immediate placement of a tissue expander.  I think it was the TE recon that made it pretty uncomfortable for me for the first 3 weeks.  My drain was in for 4 weeks.  I really don't recall going "all the way" before the drain was out -- but I may be mistaken!  My BF lives 2 hours away -- he also travels a lot for work (musician).  I may have been more cautious than him -- about 10 days after mast he said "you haven't even asked me to stay over yet!"  Then he had a gig overseas, and brought back a candy g-string!  I modeled it and we did some making out (still had the drain in). 

    After drain was pulled, 4 weeks post-surgery, we definitely were back in action, and it was good -- but I always wore some kind of camisole or bra.  But lingerie has been part of our "play" for years -- he always went wild when I would pull bra or cami aside to reveal a nipple -- it was great to have that ritual already in place, and still usable!

    I guess I really didn't want to reveal incisions or bruises too much -- my ex-husband was horrible about that kind of stuff, like what a horrible turnoff I imposed upon him whenever I had injury/illness of some kind (like bringing the guy's offspring into the world!!) -- BF might be a lot nicer, but I'm very conditioned by ex to just "keep it private."  With me and BF, it's like -- I feel more comfortable not revealing wounds, and he respects my feelings.

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  • WildRose
    WildRose Member Posts: 244
    edited July 2008

    Marin, you're right. He's giving me the silent treatment now and yeah, that stuff's getting old. Time to find a new source of fun and getting my needs met instead of this rollercoaster. I don't think an email like that would have a good effect. When I've tried to talk to him like that he's told me to stop. I'm beginning to wonder if he hasn't found someone else - someone with a full head of natural hair, and two breasts.

    *sigh* 

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  • LorenaB
    LorenaB Member Posts: 937
    edited July 2008

    WR, I hope that after you move to your new city/state, you find someone NEARBY to chat and flirt with, so that when the time comes to meet in person, it won't be so complicated.  I was doing the online dating thing for a short while, and I avoided corresponding with anyone who wasn't within a 60-mile radius for that reason.  I'm sorry this guy is disappointing you -- the last thing any of us needs right now is another disappointment.  You deserve only the best!

    Over the weekend, I mentioned to my dbf that I'd like to stop by Walmart sometime to pick up a few more of these front-clasp sports bras that I plan to wear until I get fitted for a prosthesis.  (I am limiting my driving to about 10 minutes and the nearest Walmart is about 25 minutes away.)  He just surprised me by calling and asking if I wanted to go tonight, and stop for ice cream on the way home.  Smile There go my weight watchers flex points for the week, but hey, I just had a salad for dinner and you gotta have some enjoyment in life, right?  I'm just so happy on the occasions that he doesn't disappoint me, and I'm willing to stick with him even though some of the time he is so darn clueless about my needs, I just want to bop him over the head.  Two reasons: 1) I really do care about this guy, honestly I do; and 2) in my current bald and uniboob state I am not about to start looking for someone new.

    Thanks for letting me ramble -and thanks for the thoughts re: a guy being nervous about my mastectomy scars.  I will definitely take it slow with him... although I just finished a book with a lot of hot romance in it and I'm ready to get some myself!

    Lauren

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