Starting Chemo May 2008

Linda,

So we were at the bar together. Your next date? Is it, perhaps, June 19? Meanwhile ladies, I was laughing because of the inappropriate signs and faces my friend was making behind the nurse's back. I will NOT be requesting nurse Emily next time. Plus, she shoved the cytoxin in in a half an hour which gave me a head ache. I am going for the slow track next time. I brough my husband's incredible homemade brownies today -- two for the doc; two for the schedule guy and my knight in shining EMLA armor, Michael and the needle weenie nurse, Karen; and two for my oncology nurses. Sadly, they did not earn the brownies. We ate them instead. Sucked on ice chips while A went in. Pee was a lovely orange...kind of an organic orange. Okay, I may be grossing some of you out. By the way, the EMLA worked well....barely barely felt the needle numbing the port. I am tired but happy that round two is done. Like some of you, I am breaking it up to two cycles of four rounds. AC first four the taxol herceptin the hercepting for an extra 40 weeks...yiiiii. I saw a cool look today. Baseball cap, but a cool cotton beanie under it with big hoop earring. It looked good. Okay, so maybe it looked good cause the wearer is in her early 30's but still....did I tell you how fun it is that my little under the chin hairs (come on...admit it...some of you have those too) are flying right out? My feeling is if I can spurt blood about, I can have an all out gross out session tonight. Congrats on chemo graduation, by the way. We all aspire to be you and we all will make it. Meanwhile, I will play one (okay, four) games of internet scrabble, take an ativan and a dex whatever the hell they are called and check in tomorrow. Goodnight. 

Hi All,

Thanks for tips on my job issues. Website is great and will help alot too. I hoped full disclosure wasn't required but it's nice to have proof. Surgery is good reason for gap and followup visits (unless I'm done by then?) No other details. Rox, sorry for your problems. Hope you conquer them on your terms soon. 

It's supposed to be 90's here so I'll try out my safari hat and sunblock. Too hot for a bike ride I guess. It's way too early for this heat. Hope it's not a sign of how summer will be?? 

Take care and enjoy! 

Janice

I haven't posted lately, but have been reading everyone's posts daily.  Expecting the hair loss to start sometime during the middle of next week, I have learned a lot from reading everyone else's experiences!  Had my hair cut close to scalp so could get used to it.  Have worn my wig once, but think that I prefer the scarves.  (It's 90 degrees here)

Getting thru treatment #1 was a little easier than I had expected.  I have even entertained the idea of going back to work.  Right now I am off on FMLA and have applied for my STD bebefits.  I figure I have paid for it over the years, why not use it.  Then, I go this past Wed. for labs--WBC was 1.8--now going back to work is not an option--I work in a Long Term Care facility and there are numerous germs/bacteria and other critters that I could be exposed to.  Had Neulasta shot day after treatment, no problems-no bone pain.  

Still have a slight metallic taste occasionally. But the taste buds are back! Definately have a touch of chemo brain.  Taking Zantac for the acid reflux, which still bothers me, but thankfully the nausea is gone. 

Next treatment is June 18.  Reading how everyone else is dealing with this really helps.

Happy Birthday Rock---I'd like to go to NYC one day--I have a cousin who works at Macy's there! 

Happy Birthday, Rock! - Enjoy your special day.

Thanks for the anniversary wishes the other day for us.  We did go out to eat for dinner and picked the girls up and went to DQ for ice cream.  One of them was hoping we were bringing a puppy home - she was sadly disappointed with her chocolate cone!

Hope everyone has a no s/e weekend!

Thanks,

Julie

                                        HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Due to your bravery and acceptance of your new reality (bald bald) I had every intention of following your lead and going to my appts. topless yesterday but it was too darn cold here.  In the 40's.  There is new snow on Pikes Peak.  So today, while I did sport the wig while driving to town for a new appt, I took off the wig while on the treatment table.  It felt soooooooooooo good.  Didn't hurt that the fellow was bald himself.  Says his line is "I volunteer my time at the cancer center because everyone's hair grows back".  Just doesn't happen to be true for him.

I'm going now to make some brownies and will tell my family it's in honor of your birthday!

We have brownies here in honor of your birthday too Rock1 Second neulasta shot today then went to see Baby Momma with a friend who came over and helped with laundry and sweeping (woo hoo!) Pouring rain here in Seattle. I am dropping one dex in my post chemo meds...so far so good. Feeling foggy, but much better than chemo round one. Hope everyone else is doing well. Happy birthday again and happy anniversary to Julie.

Roxi,

My friend just shaved it, no wet head, no shaving cream. I think on the top she went front to back. In the back, she went bottom to top.   My hair was already cut short so it wasn't too big of a mess.  And I've heard that duller razors/clippers can be kinder (less likely to nick) than new ones.

I didn't look at my reflection in the mirror for a couple hours (I just looked in the reflection in the window). It was a SHOCK when I did and I really hated how I looked; I focused a lot on how weird my ears looked, how weird my head looked.  I just kept thinking freak-freak-freak-freak  (like the sound in those horror movies.)

After 2 days, when some more hair fell out (and kind of evened things out so I looked less scruffy), when I figured out how to wear eye shadow for the first time in my life (charcoals work on a lot of skin tones; pinks on others) and -- most importantly -- when I'd had time  to get used to how I looked, it was fine!

I guess what I'm suggesting is that don't let your first impression be your last impression. In my (admittedly limited experience), you will look a bit different 2 days later, in reality, and in your perception.  

Bald or not, beauty comes from our eyes, our smile, and the feelings and vitality behind the eyes and the smile...not our hair.  Roxi, you're (still) going to look beautiful.

PS Tip: And if you do go bald/bald, when you find people kind of looking/staring, just give 'em a little smile. They pretty much always smile back. It just catches 'em off guard.

*****

And...I am lovin' the birthday wishes and the brownies, sisters. I mean it.  I am SOAKING IT UP. (Please give me a chance to show you guys some love, too,  when your birthdays and anniversaries roll around, okay?!)

Is that . . . cheesecake?! My dear frigging lord.  I'm definitely having some cheesecake tomorrow. And a rootbeer float on Sunday.

P's grandmother is having surgery on Monday.  He is her #1 caregiver, translator, coordinator of his mom and his 4 aunts (whom his grandmother has alienated over the years). This is hard on him and he is not in a good place, kind of closed off and acting surly (translation: He's terrified.) Running back and forth to the hospital, fielding calls. I feel for him. But experience suggests that the best thing for me to do is to stand [[over here]] and take care of myself. He knows I'm here. (This sounds terrible, but I'm really glad we don't live together.)

Fever-wise: I only went up to 99.7 and then was able to sleep for two hours, and it came back down to 97.6. 

Good point, too, about the actual infusion being only a piece of it. How are you feeling? And, if it's not too soon to ask, what comes next?  Is it possible to see far enough down the road to imagine a -- dare I say this -- vacation or a trip?  

Finally, hurray for feel good bald-bald times that make us forget about the missing hair, hat, etc.  Hurray for feeling good and the promise of even better days.

Rock,

Thanks for the inspiration. I'm ready I guess to go bald just not sure how long it'll take before I'm totally comfortable. You truly understand and have such great drive, I can feel it. Your confidence just pours from your writing. Otter, you must share that recipe. I;m with Robin. Can't pass up on dessert. Heck that's why you split meals. right? Robin, I love those scarfs. I just might have to order some. Have a wondeful weekend, good night all.



Roxi

Hi all,

Been awhile since I posted. I had my first treatment on May 28^th. So far am doing pretty good except for what started out like hand foot syndrome of big toes, redness and soreness have since gone away ( lasted about 3 days ); and now have the neuropathy thing (slight not too bad ) going on in hands mostly. When I went to have blood count yesterday (which was good) onco nurse said Dr will most likely lower the next dose of taxotere. Feeling really good just waiting for hair fallout next week sometime.

Robink, glad you like the scarves and glad I mentioned that link. To me it's worth the price to wear something that I feel comfortable in. With the long tails hanging down I won't miss the feel of my long hair not being there as much.

Rock, Happy Belated Birthday form one Gemini to another. My birthday was on Tuesday the 3^rd. That was the day my onc wanted to start chemo but he moved me up a week because I didn't want to associate my birthday with my first chemo treatment.

Otter, congratulations on being done with your treatments, hope you sail through recovery with minimal SE's.

Enjoy the weekend, Karin

Hey tomatojuice,

EVERYONE has bad days and panic days and tired days. Might I suggest you set up a chemo date for your next three? People you like help pass the time. People are happy to help. Just ask. Next time someone says, "Is there anyting I can do?" Say, "Yes, would you be willing to come with me to my next chemo session? I find I am so much more relaxed when I have someone along." Your family members are doing a great job, AND you can ask for other help. You'll feel better. I promise.

Meanwhile, I am going for the initial shave this afternoon after my nap. Stop me now if you think I should leave it in longer. I await your advise. It is coming out in tufts when I pull. 

eddie - it's your hair (for how ever long you keep it) and you need to do what you are most comfortable with.  I liked it when my hair was only 1/2 inch long!

Hi rockthebald I know what you mean about a little treat before chemo. Before my second chemo, my son and daughter and I went hiking in the catskills,we actually saw a bear in the woods, and had a campfire. It was so great. My daughter lives in hawai. I was planning a trip there-I'm still planning it.I do actually get out. I am an avid walker. The day after chemo-walked all around the village-bought some scarves on 8th st.Took myself out to dinner of sorts-a favorite pizza place by NYU. Its just that 3rd or 4th day.

Jay-Jay-- You are welcome here! But there is also a June 2008 chemo group that may better reflect where you are at in the treatment process.  (Is it possible that you are getting your chemo over 3 or 4 weeks rather than "dose dense"/every 2 weeks?)

Tomatojuice:  3rd or 4th day ... just sucks.  It sucked the first time, the second time, and yet here I am on the third time, caught off guard, wondering "Why do I feel kind of crappy?" A campfire. Odd as it sounds on this hot NYC day, a campfire sounds wonderful.