under 40 with young children

smilevirgo74 -

Your story struck me since it is so very close to mine - strange really - I was diagnosed April 11 last year.I was 36 and I have a 5 year old. 2 nodes stge II and a larger lump too. 

Sorry you have to be here but you are in the perfect place to heal and learn. This time is so crazy - you have so many decisions to make, tests to take and questions to ask. I harvested my eggs at this time too...You should be encouraged - you can do this and you can win! Be sure to find the support you need whether it is 2 friends or 200 - just make sure you take care of you! We so often forget as moms and it is so hard to relent to those who want to help. Set your pride aside and take in the love......best thing I ever did. How is your son doing???? This must be hard for him....PM me anytime! Where are you? I am near Ann Arbor.

Hugs

Susie

Hi to you all, I am so glad I found this forum, I am 41 and am about to have an ultrasound due to several masses found in both breasts. I am terrified, I have two daughters 22, 21 and a daughter still at home that is 13 almost 14. I think she is a little worried but I try not to talk about my fears with her until I find out whats up. I have been reading nonstop for days and days and have learned so much. I hope that I can be as strong as all of you if I get bad news. I have a new grandbaby on the way and already have a 3 year old granddaughter. I want to see my family thrive and grow and to see my 13 year old graduate and go to college and start a family one day. I know God has a plan for us all and I know with him beside me I can get through whatever life throws me. I will keep you all in my prayers and I just want you to all know that you are heroes to me, women are the strongest in the World. Love and hugs to you all. I will keep you posted as to my ultrasound findings tomorrow.

And welcome to sillygirl and smiley, too. You'll find such great support here--glad you found us!

Well ultrasound was all clear, the sonographer said she sees nothing and so did the radiologist that looked at them after she did. I can't understand what we (me, my nurse, and my surgeon, and now the sonographer) are feeling. The sonographer said I have lumpy breasts. I wonder if my surgeon will still bx these lumps? Or maybe he will give me the all clear. I thought maybe they were cysts but nothing showed up. I am totally confused now and am wondering what is next. Thank you for all the support. Any advise will be greatly appreciated. I will keep you posted. Thanks for your prayers, you are all in mine.

I am 32 now and was diagnosed almost 6 years ago, 10 days after the birth of my second daughter. My daughter was 3 1/2 when I was bald. She remembers it a little.  I am going through a scare now. An MRI revealed a suspicious spot in my hip. I need a pet scan. It is on Friday. My 9 year old heard me on the phone with the doctor. She was praying and crying this morning.  I am nervous!!!!!!!!

nursedj--if the surgeon can feel the lumps, he can biopsy them. However, a breast MRI first might be helpful--if it's negative, he might be more comfortable declaring your lumps fibrocystic changes. The fact that you have multiple lumps in both breasts points to fibrocystic changes anyhow. I think it's probably good news that the u/s was negative. When do you see the surgeon again?

Youwearpink--I'm sorry you have to go through a PET for a suspicious spot on your hip. I have a 9 1/2 year old and a 6 year old, and the 9 1/2 year old is definately very aware of everything and much more worried than my little one is. Keep us posted.

Julie--I posted to you over on the "Not Diagnosed" board. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. My mom just died of bc 8 1/2 weeks ago--it blows. Have you been BRCA tested yet?

You also asked about diet/excercise, etc. Well, during chemo, diet and excercise will pretty much boil down to whatever you can tolerate. There's a whole section of the boards called "Help Me Get Through Treatment" that you may want to check out if you haven't already, as well as a chemo board. You can get lots of input over there.

My 2 cents on it, though--post-surgery, your surgeon will probably have you do some specific arm excercises to reduce the chance of lymphedema in the arm on the cancer side (due to lymph nodes being removed). And during radiation, the rad onc will probably give you specific excercises to stretch out the muscles that are being radiated (mine did). But as far as regular excercise (walking, running, etc.), like I said above, it will just be whatever you can tolerate. If you regularly excercised before treatment, you should be able to continue during treatment, just not as vigorously, and probably not as often. There will be days you feel like moving around and days you don't. Same with the food--some days you'll be able to eat normally, other days, all you'll be able to choke down will be Cheetos. And while on chemo one needs to be careful about eating raw fruits and vegetables when one's white blood counts are low. And one might want to up the intake of iron rich foods to combat low red counts. Hope that helps a little.

Hi there, just signing in,

mum of 2 (4 and 7) 40 now,  diagnosed at 39 with triple neg idc w 1/16 nodes.

Have had pretty positive experience as my mum came from canada to help with the kids. Most days, am just soo grateful to be here, alive, enjoying the kids. The treatments mhave taken their toll, but, you do your best.

2 month ago, I had double mast with immidiate reconstruction using flaps from my tum, with no need to cut through the stomac muscle, so am very very pleased I chose that type of surgery. feels very natural. Just thought I'd post that, in case soem of you are thinking about your surgery options. In my case, I just feel, it's nice that my new "boobs" are all me (especially as I am prone to allergies)and this will mean fewer procedures in the long (let's hope)term.

good luck to you all! kids sure are a great way to focus on the positive and stay busy!

Hi Ladies,

I'm 39 - was dx'ed last Nov. at age 38 and have two sons ages 6 & 7.  Am halfway through 8 rounds of chemo. For me, the worst part of having BC is the terrible fear that I might not be around to see them grow up.  My cancer was caught early and I'm getting very aggressive treatment to deal with it, so the Doctors say the prognosis is good.  But still, those little worries pop up in my head.  I wonder how I'll deal with it when my treatment is done.

Lisa  

Hi Nash, thanks for the welcome.(am canadian but "accross the  pond since 92).

I was astounded to read how many people in your family passed away ue to cancer. I am sure that must affect your own cancer experience alot. It must also make you more determined and pro active about your life. No doubt you are very strong, you've had to be.

Lisa,Re: kids, (i have 4 and 7 yr olds) On diagnosis I had those thoughts about the possibility of not beeing around for my kids, it's a very painful thought, we all have to acknolege, then move on from I guess. At the time, especialy since my boy has special needs, I felt very protective of them, but I didn't dwell on this, like Nash said, that fades. I figured, I am not in charge of when I am going to go, never was never will be, cancer or not. Also, I though, my kids are wonderful and loved by many, so I will just trust that, if ever the "what if" happens, they will be supported and loved by wonderful people. They may not mother them in the same style as me, but they will be loved and adored. That realisation comforted me then. Now I just really feel thanks and gratefulness to be with them each day.

I hope you both have a peachy week end. best wishes.

shiny

Thanks, Lisa. <<<<<hugs>>>>>>>

Hi everyone. I just found this website when I was searching the side affects about tomoxfin. I just turned to 39. My daughter is 12. I was diagnosed in Sep07. Followed by surgery, chemo, and now I am on radiation and on pills as well. I have been through a lot last year. My life just got settled, two car accidents within four months totally destroyed my health and life, not recovered from the indjury yet, been diagnosed breast cancer stage IV. I prefer not knowing too much about my cancer. Previous indjuries make it harder for me to go through my treatments. even two weeks ago wanted give up the raditions because of lots of pain on my neck, back and shoulders. I even thought couple of times to end my life because of those pains. Just imagine what kind of life is it. each movement with pain. I am out of shape because of the pain. I had been very angry after the diagnosis. I have no family history, no bad habbit, always be very nice to people around, help others whenever i could. why all of these happened to me?Now the only thing i can do is just accept it. I am really exhausted about what to eat because my homo test was positive. If someone knows, I would appreciate  your sending me email at d_leeian@hotmail.com.

I know it is very hard for us with young kids. I know if you have your family around will be great. My husband is around. However I would rather he is not here. He does not speak english, he spends time playing online games, reading chinese novels rather than learning english. he does help me with housework since he stays at home every day. Other than that. You can not expect him anything else. I keep asking myself if this what I want. Is this the husband I want. I can not remember if he ever ask me what doctor said or what is going on with my treatment. He has never collect any information to help me go through the treatments. When he went to the hospital with me, he never asked me what the doctor said. He just read his novels. when my nails turned blue, he asked me what happened to my nails. I just know when I was in the emerge, he was the last person I wanted to see. I don't know what should I do now.

Hi, Tina, so glad you found us. You will get tons of support here, which will be especially important when you start chemo. Be sure and post over on the May chemo thread over on the chemo boards if you haven't already--I don't know how I would've gotten through everything w/o my chemo buddies.

So sorry to hear about your parents. Both of my parents died of cancer, too (my mom had bc, and we were on chemo simultaneously), as well as my FIL. So my kids are a bit freaked out. But things are starting to settle down now that I'm done with chemo/rads, and things will settle down for you eventually, too. You've got the added challenge of a special needs child, but this is the place to come and vent and cry. We'll all go, "Wow, that sucks," and send you virtual hugs, and then you'll feel better.

Happy Mother's Day! 

Hi everyone,

Just found this thread - I post regularly on several others, but was looking for one like this.  I have seen some of you there - LorenaB, Nash, Tina.

I am 40 (41 tomorrow) and was dx in March.  I have 2 girls, 41/2 and 8 (almost 9).  I have been worried about many of the things you all have mentioned.  My oldest was most disturbed about my potential hair loss ("You mean you're gonna be BALD?"), but has seemed to adjust to the idea.  She has also offered me her (or her sister's) eyelashes/brows and told my dh "I think mom might need to borrow my eyebrows." 

Tina, like you, I may start chemo on 5/22.  I'm still waiting for some 2nd opinion results.  I can totally relate the "short fuse" thing and I'm trying to really work on that.  I'm also trying to keep things as "normal" as possible for them, but hard to know how that will work with chemo. 

Hope everyone is having a great Mother's Day!!

Drcrisc: what course of treatment will you be doing?  I am dong TAC x 6 treatments.  It will be interesting to compare notes...

As far as the hair issue goes, I plan on purchasing a wig. My kids are cool with the no hair thing.  My 12 yo shaves his head bald regularly and said we can do it together now!  For me, the wig will be needed for work.  I work at a residential facility for male juvenile offenders (14 - 18 yo) nuff said!  I just hope it looks as cute on me as it does on the pretty internet model!

Well, I must go, my 13 yo son is almost done with my Mother's day dinner....Penne pasta with meat sauce.  By the time my treatment is over with, he'll be a master chef!  LOL

Cristine - Happy Birthday!  Your "America's Favorite Mom" comment was so sweet.  As I think I've mentioned, my 7-year-old son is totally not bothered by my lack of hair.  I just completed chemo a few days ago (yay!) and I've given him the "job" of checking my head to report on any new hair growth.

Ugh, I feel awful today (for some reason day 5 after chemo has been the worst each time) but I'd better get my child dressed and onto the school bus.  Best wishes for a good day for everyone!