asking for advice

Iodine,

There's no reason for her shoulders to be rounding, other than perhaps because she's holding herself in the protective, self-conscious posture you describe. I'm standing up straighter than I did before, because I became more aware of my posture and more determined not to slump.

It would be great if she could make a choice about what she wants, whether recon or no recon, breast forms or no breast forms, not based on lack of insurance.

If she wants to wear something on her chest, there are many alternatives, some very inexpensive, that don't add weight or irritation to the chest--breast forms like Amoena, Style 126, or Still You Illusions Breast Replacements, for example. They can be worn with Still You Tank Tops, which are really camisoles--very soft or with regular bras. The Amoena 126s can be found for under $40 per form (some women find them online for around $26). I wear mine in a very inexpensive Maidenform bra or in a Still You camisole.

If you think she would be interested, you might suggest she check out my non-profit website, BreastFree.org, where I provide links to the above products and to virtually all the major companies selling post-mastectomy products--a good way to see what's available. I also provide a link to TLC, the American Cancer Society's site for inexpensive post-mastectomy products.

As you probably know, your friend could also check out BreastReconstruction.org, the new site that answers lots of reconstruction questions. Since reconstruction can be done at any time, she could see what her options are and perhaps at a later date have the recon done.

Hope this helps.

Barbara 

Iodine,I was told here in Tn, women w/ bc qualify for Tenncare (our version of Medicaid). I am not sure how your state works but she make qualify for some type of govt. assistance which might pay for reconstruction and/or prostheses.

I noticed this morning that I have not been standing up straight. part is due to lack of exercise and part just the change in my body. I am trying to make an effort to stand tall and proud w/o or w/ my prostheses on. And hold in my protruding tummy.

Debbie 

My biopsy and bilataeral mastectomy were pre-existing conditions that I paid for myelf.

I was offered free expander/implant reconstruction by a charitable organization that reconstructs women without insurance.  If this is something she's interested in, she should Google for something like that in her area. 

I agree: recon or no, prosthesis or no : everyone should have good posture!

Re: me.  Very soon the pre-exisiting expires.   I'm happy without recon.  I turned down the free recon.  I'm gathering information on S-GAP and I-GAP. 

Dotti, isn't there someone on this board who collects up, and donates, free of charge, unwanted prostheses?

I have a feeling it was the girl who hosted Pinkstock 07. PurpleMB, but I could (very easily!!) be wrong.

Perhaps someone will be along who knows more ?????

By the way Good Luck with Dh's upcoming treatment, hope all goes well.

Isabella.

First, I'm sorry for your loss. It sounds as if you've been through a lot. I can't exactly answer your question about dating myself since I'm married. However, my mother-in-law, who, like me, had bilateral mastectomies, went through the same thing you're describing. My father-in-law died when she was a very young sixty-four and eventually she wanted to date again. I believe she was quite open about her situation when she began each new relationship. I think if it were me, I definitely would tell the guy before anything intimate occurred. 

What I especially want to convey is that my mother-in-law met and married a wonderful, handsome, smart man who didn't care at all about her lack of breasts. She's now 82  and he's 87 and they've been married almost 12 years. So, take heart. There are wonderful men out there who care about you, not just your breasts.

Barbara

BreastFree.org