Anyone starting Chemo in August 07?

1…4041434546…99

Comments

  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited February 2008

    Hugs to all, girls. I feel the same way--lots of ups and downs, with the downs being pretty down. We've all been through so much mentally and physically. It can be hard to cope sometimes.

    I'm scared of mets, too, Harley, and it drives me crazy when people (including my onc) act like one can just go about one's business after the cancer treatment like nothing ever happened.  

    The past two days have been particulary trying for me. I'm working on settling my mom's business, and it's nothing but a pain the patoot. I have no idea what I'm doing, and the attorneys and CPA's she'd used act like I'm bothering them when I call up with questions. I got so frustrated today that when my DH called to see how my day was going, I burst into tears. 

    I know everything will settle out OK eventually, but I've been dreading having to do this for so many years, and never dreamt I'd have to be doing it on the heels of having just completed cancer treatment the week before.

    You ALL have supported me so much, and that is being very useful.

    LOL, Jackie, I always feel like I should run out and start a foundation, too. At least start a website or something. But that's all unrealistic right now. Maybe some point down the road, but I think we should all cut ourselves slack. The women who have run out and done things like that are typically years out from their treatment. 

    When treatment ends, I think we go through a sort of post-traumatic stress reaction. And you have to think our hormones are all out of whack from the chemo, too, so that doesn't help. We spent so much time trying to keep it together during treatment that when it's over, it's only natural that we become a bit unraveled.

    Lilith--you are totally not ragging. We understand each other. The non-cancer world thinks we should be happy that treatment is over--which we are--but can never understand all the emotions that come with it. Any change in routine is stressful, even if it's for the better. Couple that with the fact that the cancer routine totally blew monkey balls, and there you go. 

    OK, I"m done babbling now! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited February 2008

    "Blew monkey balls"?

    ??   WHAT..??? 

    If I HAD a brain after chemo, that phrase just caused my last synapse to collapse.

    (I can't even conjure up a visual ... i try, then start laughing, then forget and have to start all over. I give up!) 

    YOU, madam, WIN. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited February 2008

    BTW, Lillith - we're all right with you, sister. Nash (and her classic MB's) described it perfectly. (She has such a way with words, this girl) You're not alone. You're not crazy, you're not useless. We're all just a little "post traumatic stress disorderley", and it's all part of it. (Albeit, the least talked about part, but Official Part, nonetheless.) Plus, we're all on these strange meds, and some of us are post menapausal ANYWAY which means the screws are coming loose as we speak.

    Jackie & Harley reminded you that you are important to us - I echo that. LOUDLY. I get down - downer ("downer"?) than i ever used to get pre-C, and i just have to remember that you guys are all here, and that you understand, and that you care.  I do believe that things will be "bump and start" for a few years, but ultimately our hormones and emotions will level out (or go away altogether?) and we'll be fine.

    In the meantime - put the whip away. You could put your eye out with that thing.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2008

    Lilith- Thanks for the nice comment.  See-- you made my day and that's not at all useless!  But I would like to echo the gals and say the great thing about this place and this group of ladies is that we get it.  You are allowed to feel down, mad, scared, or just plain crappy in any respect.  We get it. Even when we are supposed to put on our happy faces for the non-cancer world, we never have to do that here.  I love to hear everyone's updates and every time someone drops in with a post I am eager to hear it and be a part of their life for the moment.  Love it.  Wouldn't want to do without you or any of our gals here.  So there!!

    And i would like to offer a piece of advice, although I get pretty whacked myself, so feel free to take it or leave it, by all means.  Here's my advice-- I have found that sometimes the BEST thing I can do for myself since cancer came to my life is to do "meaningless" things.  Finding fun, pleasure, peace, whatever in just experiencing whatever is going in that moment.  Life doesn't have to be "about something" 100% of the time.  There does not always have to be a goal for every behavior.  Having a nice glass of iced tea, sitting on a swing, blowing bubbles with my kids, taking an extra long shower and using fancy-smelling soap, or just slowing down to soak the world in as it rushes by-- All moments that sometimes people (or at least my old self) might think there is no time for.  Those are some of the moments I try to savor now.  Screw having "meaning" all the time, there is life to be enjoyed for its own sake.  So try not to stay down on yourself for not starting a foundation.  We have paid our dues and should be able to slow down and enjoy just being here.  Even if we only slow for a while. 

    that's my 2cents worth.  or possibly 20 dollars worth  (I do get long-winded).  I hope you and all my pals here have a nice day today.  I need to get a move on-- I have rads today (yes-- I have skin again, too!!).  After today... 4 more to go.  Wahoooooo!  Catch ya all later.  Angie

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited February 2008

    I don't know how to tell you all how much it means to read all of you. ohhh... wait. No. I don't need to tell you. You already know.

    A huge HUGE hug to all of you...

    and... here is a picture of ME with my NEW HAIR!!! in the new avatar... sorry the pic is soo tiny... I am so proud of my one-inch long hairdo...

    Angie, you are absolutely right, living in the moment works best. Sometimes I can't do it, and I have a global meltdown... not knowing where I am going and what I will do in six months. I feel overwhelmed by a number of decisions I will have to take - all the while continuing treatment and - hopefully - getting a recon done, and at the same time, I have to wait and that is frustrating on its own. So many things race through my mind all the time, it is a whirlwind!!

    Anyway, today I am feeling better. :)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kimmie39
    kimmie39 Member Posts: 319
    edited February 2008

    Lilith - I to have been feeling down and angry lately. And Im no where near finished treatment. As a matter of fact I hust had chemo #11 two days ago. So I tend to believe its all a part of adjusting I personnaly get emotional because I dont know where my treatment is going. Still waiting to see if my insurance will cover a stem cell transplant and havent had my Masectomy yet. Its still nice to hear it from others going thru the same.

    Jackie - Everytime I see your pic I think how classy you look!!! Even without hair!!!  YOU GO!!!!

    Hope everyone is OK

    KIM 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited March 2008

    Lilith, I love the hair! It looks really good on you. I'm actually really impressed with how many people do look really good in the ultra short hair. Maybe we can all be new trendsetters!

    I so totally understand how you feel. I am now down to only 3 rads left. I've had a super easy time with rads, and I feel almost guilty for having it so easy when I know so many others had such a rough time with it. But, now that I'm nearing the end of the most "active" part of treatment, I'm feeling a little bit like - OK, then what? As glad as I will be to have it done with, in a way, it is almost easier to not think about cancer when you are fighting it every day because you feel like, OK, I'm doing what I can to battle it. And then the waiting for the next thing to happen - the recon, the next scan, etc. etc. And wondering about every little ache and pain because they all seem more charged with meaning now. It's a lot to think about, and it's ok to have it feel like too much sometimes. 

    Oh, on the hair front, I have to share a funny encounter I had yesterday. I went to my health club to go to yoga class and dropped my son off at the childcare center. There was another little boy there who asked me, "are you his mom?"  When I said yes he said, "but you have really short hair. Moms don't have short hair, only dads have short hair."  I explained that sometimes, moms had short hair too, but he wasn't buying it. His dad seemed very embarrassed!

    Thanks to all of you for being here and just being you and understanding exactly what it feels like to have little kids look at your hair (or lack thereof) in wide-eyed wonder! Hugs to all.

    DeAnn 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited March 2008

    DeAnn: I know what you mean about the kids stares!!! yesterday a little doll of 2 yrs old with tons of golden locks was pointing at me laughing while her mom was trying to accelerate her shopping cart to avoid looking - I felt like stopping her and telling that it ain't contagious!!!! Luckily, I don't feel like the lockness monster, so I am not too sensitive to those comments!

    Good for you for the end of rads. I didn't need them, as per the advice of onc, plus the local hospital head - so I trust them. It is true that I didn't fit the recommendation, given tumor size and only one node involved (I went through all the medical paperwork, not much trust in doctors....). It is really good to feel back on my feet health-wise (I am getting stronger and stronger, feeling quite normal if it wasn't for the scar instead of my right boob, and for the hot flashes) - but the moral is another thing. It doesn't help that my company is moving very fast, so work is very de-motivating, I feel left behind. Too young for retirement (44 yrs old), but too old and ill for finding elsewhere - and of course the second statement isn't true, is just a feeling. Also, I wonder how insurances will take on things if I change companies and need to get a new contract - here, or even worse, in the US (pre-conditions are ugly to deal with...). Oh, well.

    Kim, my thoughts are with you. I hope that the chemo works out well, stem transplant is tough but it is really good to have a possible positive outcome!!! Hugs, hugs and hugs.

    Chiara.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2008

    I'm glad you're feeling better, Lilith. I love your avatar. 

    Big, big hugs to you, Kim. I'm glad you checked in from TX. 

    The hair stories cracked me up. And yes, DeAnn, I think we can all be trendsetters. I've actually been getting compliments from the adults along with the stares and weird looks from kids. So, you watch, by summer, everyone will be sporting our cute do's. 

    After not helping at my kids' schools all year long, I went crazy and and chaperoned a field trip to an amusement park, then took my kids to the school dance at night. The principal said, "What are you, a glutton for punishment?" Wink Anyhow, it was good to do something non-cancer/death related. But it was also hard to be back in the swing with the "other" people and having to field all the well-meaning but inane comments they make. One women, who in her defense is BRCA positive, who hadn't seen me from well before my diagnosis, but who'd gotten the grapevine rundown on me, grabbed me as I was leaving the dance and hollored, "You didn't want to get a double mastectomy and reconstruction?!?" in a tone that implied that I was quite a fool. Sigh.

    Then there was a woman on the field trip who was 8 years out from her bc treatment. I though, great, we can bond. I asked her about her follow-up plan with her onc, and if he did tumor markers. She looked at me and said, "Oh, I didn't have a tumor, I had a mass." Uh, OK. I also said something about being glad I hadn't gotten pregnant last spring right before diagosis like I'd been wanting to, and she said, "Oh, I heard getting pregnant puts the cancer in remission." Uh-huh. Anyhow, I switched topics after that.

    And everyone has been very, very kind about my mom's death, except for the one woman who shrugged and said, "Oh well, we all have to go at some point." Why is it those are the people who stick in our minds?

    Anyhow, again, I am so grateful for all of you and your support. I think I'd go mad otherwise.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited March 2008

    Nash,

    Unbelievable...People are just unbelievable.  I'm glad to hear you are trying to get back into some things with your kids.  Be patient, people are stupid.  Hang in there.

    Just wanted to tell you girls I'm leaving for my cruise.  I will be thinking of all of you and drinking for all of you too!!!LOL!!! Seriously, I know this might sound sappy but I will miss you girls.  Hang tough.

    Lots of hugs, Jackie

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2008

    Have a wonderful time, Jackie! I'm so excited for you!!!!!!!!!!! We will miss you too, and can't wait for a cruise synopsis when you return. Cheers!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Ggma
    Ggma Member Posts: 97
    edited March 2008

    Jackie, you're so lucky to being going someplace warm!!!! Have a Bahama Mama for me!  

    I sure wish that it would warm up here in Indiana.  Today we had a heat wave and I believe that it must have been up to 40!  I just want to know why when our sheep have babies and my husband is gone so I have to work full time and take care of them, there are always twins born and it's 7 degrees outside.  Today he was home and one decided to lamb and only had a single and it was 40 degrees!!!!  NO Stinking fair!!!!!

    Nash, I do believe that you're braver than I am!  A field trip and a dance in the same day?????  I'm glad to hear that you're getting out and staying busy, sad to hear that you're surrounded by so many idiots though!!!!  It is amazing what people say sometimes! 

    Lilith, My granddaughter is almost 2 and she loves to pull my hat off and rub my head!  Her mommy is working on teaching her to tell the difference between girls and boys and she's doing great, except when you ask her what Grandma is.  Then she just laughs and won't guess if I'm a girl or a boy.  I think that at this age, she decides bythe length of the hair and I have her confused!!!

    Enjoy your week-end ladies!

    Debbi

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited March 2008

    Wow Nash, you are, indeed, a brave woman to help your kids school by being a chaperone on a field trip to the amusement park!  My version of helping out at my son's school was to spend an hour cleaning shelves in his classroom!  Hardly as taxing!

    And you are also, clearly, a very patient woman to put up with all the crazy comments from the clueless. 

    Jackie- have a fun cruise!! Send some warm rays up to Minnesota, please! Thanks!

    DeAnn  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited March 2008

    Jackie, happy cruising! I am sure you will have a lot of fun, not to mention a great weather, good food and new friends... :) HUGS!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • yellowtownhouse
    yellowtownhouse Member Posts: 142
    edited March 2008

    Hey All,

    I'm almost ashamed to be posting today.  I haven't been far away though and have read every single post.  Thanks to all of you that have asked about me.  I guess like Lilith, I'm having my own personal funk time.  No real reason and nothing in particular set it off...it just is.  I could describe it  as an exaggerated  'pity party' but it truly  goes much deeper than that.  I'm doing okay with my rads.  Have completed 22 of the 30 without huge side effects.  My skin is now beginning to react and is pink/discolored/ and 'ouchy' feeling.  But really nothing to complain about especially knowing that so many of you have had a difficult time. 

    I'm sure that part of what's happening with me is now the evaluation of 10 months worth of various treatments and of course the feeling of, 'whats coming next.'   Yes, my dear friends I'm very aware of just how demoralizing and self-defeating this line of thinking is but as they say sometimes, 'it is what it is.'  Once again, without this board and all of you I believe I would have been certifiable by now.....no one but no one understands like you all do.  So now I'm working hard to be grateful for the fact that I'm just your average nut and faith and love will see me through it.

    Jackie, have a stupendous time and have a drink for each of us! 

    Kim, so good to hear from you.  I think of you often and so admire your courage and strength girl.

    Nash, another hair story.  My dh and I went out over the weekend to do errands and I decided for the first time to go without my wig.  This was huge for me but all went well and I didn't get too many stares and blessedly no stupid remarks.  I'm not brave enough to go wigless for work yet but the day is coming.

    DeAnn, yea on almost completing those rads girl!

    My very best to all of you.

    June

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2008

    Hi, June! I've been thinking about you. Even though it sucks that we're all feeling funky (and not in a good, funked out sort of way, as in "groovy"), it sure is consoling to know that it is truly normal for our situations. Whether we're finishing up treatments or are plodding along not knowing how much longer we'll have to tolerate this, it is a normal reaction to a very traumatic time.

    I've repressed so much angst over the past years (starting back fourteen years ago when my dad started having seizures out of the blue, then having him dying of pancreatic cancer, then my FIL dying of prostate cancer, then my mom's whole ordeal, then my diagnosis), that when I stop to really think about everything's that happened, I get a bit unglued. Which is probably healthier than repressing it. But we have to repress things to a certain extent to get through them in a civilized manner, so it would follow then that when it's all over, we feel weird and depressed. I think it's important to just let the feelings come as they may, knowing that they will eventually pass and things will get brighter down the road.

    Glad to hear rads is going smoothly and that the hair is sprouting nicely. Smile

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited March 2008

    Hello Ladies,

    I had my FIRST HAIR CUT! It was huge. Everyone I polled said it was a mistake, It was just going backwards, I'd regret it... (except my son, who understands All Things Hair) until they saw it - and THEN they understood. The Light was Illuminated. Dh said he repented in sackcloth and ashes. Good. Because I am ONE HOT OLD LADY. (And all it took was a haircut. SEE GIRLS?? There's HOPE!) I love it so much I don't want it to grow!!! It's TIGHT CURLS!

    And speaking of HOPE, Ladies I survived the 10th Annual Hike 4 Hope in the Famous Indian Canyons in Palm Springs. It was incredable - really a highlight of my life. It was fun even BEFORE I was "a survivor", but being "a Survivor" meant I got to have my picture taken with lots of OTHER survivors out there. Too bad we were all so sore and hot and tired we didn't care about anything except going home. (Pix to follow.)

    Jackie - I'm going to have my new motto be:

        "Be Patient. People are Stupid. Hang In There."

    I loved it. And it didn't SEEM as though you meant it in a MEAN way, actually...just a realistic way. We ARE stupid. ALL of us. By NATURE and NURTURE  and that's OK. But everybody needs to be patient...So, the new mantra is: Be patient. People are stupid. Hang in there. THANK YOU!!

    Have fun on your cruise!We await the report!

    Hugs to you all...more later....

      

      

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited March 2008

    Kaye! UH-HU!!! a haircut! that is very exciting. Now what we want, is a pic! It also sounds great about your Annual Hike. Congratulations, from the bottom of my heart, I don't think I could put up with that - I am not much of a sporty-hiking-outdoorsy person, sadly. Maybe I should work at that... and I am always absolutely amazed at the stamina and will power put in such quests!

    Nash - reading your list of events in the last few years is staggering. If anybody, you have every right to  come unglued now and then, I think it is healthy and shows that you are still functioning. I assume ups and downs are normal in these events - I keep reminding it to myself. I wish I could be closer to all of you, it would be nice to have a "hedgehog" lunch and see all the stares we can elicit as a group...

    Hugs to all others. June, you are doing great. In a little longer, rads will be over, and then healing can really start. Up and onward!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kimmie39
    kimmie39 Member Posts: 319
    edited March 2008

    Hi all,

    Its great rto hear from each of you and what your up to.

    A Cruise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thats my first gift to myself when treatment is over. I even like to browse travel mags and web sites imaigining what it will be like.

    You all have the greatest Susan  Power looks!! Strong and confidant.

    Personally Im stuck in bed. I think a steam roller snuck in during my treatment and ran me over.  LOL

    Better days are ahead.

    kim 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2008

    Hope the chemo crud feeling passes soon, Kimmie.  Hugs, as always.

    Kaye--I've never been so excited to hear about a hair cut in my life! Can't wait to see a pic of it. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2008

    Angie, how are you doing?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited March 2008

    Hey Nash,  Thanks for asking.  I was just blowing off work here at the office and checking in on the postings.  Naughty me! 

    My burns are much, much, much, infinitely much better.   And I only have 2 more rads to go!  I am so freakin excited and I don't even know why.  Just plain excited!

    And I am also pleased to report that for the last 2 days, I have had to put gel in my hair.  Yes... I have enough to require "product."  I just need enough to keep it laying down rather than a puffy, straight-haired-buzzy-afro.  And my my my... so much gray in there now!  And I am still a week away from by 33rd birthday.  But as my mom says... I earned every one. 

    My poor mom, the other day she was asking what will happen once I am done with rads.  And I remind her I still have Herceptin thru July.  And she says, "but what tests will they do?"  And I said my onc said no tests unless I have symptoms.  And my poor mom says, "But when will they do the test that says you're cancer free?"  Sorry mom.  No such thing, I tell her.  "But I want to hear them SAY it!" she says.  And such is life.  From now on, there are clearly no guarantees.  But it wasn't a total downer really-- On the bright side, I told her I have considered myself "cancer free" since October 25, 2007.  The day I had my bilat mast.  All tiny traces of that miserable beast were cut out and thrown away like the trash that it was.  So there!!  take that! 

    Although, of course, I suppose... one way or another we are never truly "free" of cancer anymore, now are we?  It has changed us forever.  But changed or not, we all still rock and we are the toughest, coolest group of chicks around.  Sportin' our daring hair, climbing mountains, going on cruises, keeping things "together" when the world seems to have gone wacko.  We are some seriously cool chicks.    No doubt about it.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited March 2008

    Angie- I get that kind of question all the time too from friends and family. "So, what's your prognosis?" or "Are you cancer free?" I tell people, hey, your guess is as good as mine. Let's assume so! It isn't exactly the answer people are expecting to hear!  You are totally right that, although cancer has changed us, we do still totally rock. Maybe even harder than before cancer. I got out my electric guitar the other day, and with my ultra short hair and a tank top, I look pretty killer! I'm so glad to hear that your burns are better, and only two more rads to go!! I will be done tomorrow, so we're finishing up right at the same time!  I wish that were the end of things, but alas, Herceptin continues for many more months for us. At least that part isn't every day like rads. Are you having an easier time with Herceptin now? 

    My skin has been fine throughout rads, but my muscle over my implant is tiiiight! I've been going to yoga four times a week to try to keep it loose. Can't imagine how tight it would be if I wasn't doing that! 

    DH and I are going out for dinner to celebrate tomorrow! Even though I still have Herceptin every 3 weeks, I'm counting this as the end of major treatment. 9 long months. I could have had a baby by now!

    Ahh, all these cruises sound so nice. I'm very, very tired of the cold weather. I decided last night that I'm going to save up my pennies so that I can go to Hawaii next winter during the entire month of January!

    Kaye, I'm so excited that you got a real hair cut!! It's like springtime or something!

    DeAnn  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited March 2008

    Angie, it is truly brilliant to read that your skin is healing well, and that the rads time is almost over...:)) you are soooo young, I didn't realize that. My mom was 34 when she had it, but you are even younger. Well - I hope it will work out for you as for her - she is turning 70 this year, and doing well!

    I guess in a way, we'll never be free of cancer. But in the same way, most other ppl are not either, they just don't know about it! I hate the way docs do "expectation management". For what I know, I am cancer-free since the surgery, and unless I have proof of the opposite, I consider my cells innocent. If it works for criminals, it should also work for my body, no? the benefit of doubt. It would be nice to hear docs saying it... but I think they are afraid that if they declare us "cancer-free", we may run away and never face a hospital again!!!!

    And, Herceptin is really a doodle comparing to the rest.

    Hair-wise, this is my second day "commando" at work, I keep getting compliments about it... I have a pretty decent coverage by now, about one-inch long, with very moderate gray... can't wait for having lenths long enough for a haircut, but I expect it will take at least until summer. By then, I will also drag out my color bottles, I used to be auburn but now the baby hair is darker - I guess because it was missing the sun? I am planning california this summer, maybe that will put the light back in the hair???

    Hugs. Kim, huge hugs to you - sorry you are feeling worse - we all know how it feels and it really sucks. This too shall pass, I am thinking of you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • kimmie39
    kimmie39 Member Posts: 319
    edited March 2008

    Ahgie -

    Im soooo glad to hear your skin has improved so much!! Isnt it something how good it feels to feel good after feeling bad.(Kinda confusing I know) And only 2 rads to go, hurray. Im happy for you girl. 

    DeAnn - I just sat here and envisioned you rocking out with your short hair and electric guitar. Rock on  celebrate the end of rads!

    Lilith - Your cells are innocent Ha Ha Ha Thats rich!!!!!!!!!! I Love it!!!!!!!

    Thanks for all the hugs sometimes I need them.

     Kim

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited March 2008

    Hi Ladies,

    Lilith - Where in California are you planning to go this summer? (Must be Southern, because Northern isn't known for doing anything to anyone's hair!)  I hope it's close - maybe Nash & I could meet you. (Can we, Nashie, PLEEEEEASE? huh? Can We??)

    DeAnn - I'm reeeeeeally tight under my arm and under the affected breast also. Plus I'm absolutely numb on the back of that arm. I didn't have any reconstruction or anything other than the 2 lumpectomies, but it's very tight and I fight with it hourly. I have to stretch it out several times a day, I can feel it "give" a little, but then an hour later it's tight again. Very odd.

    Angie - Dh and I are wondering about your seroma these days...is it driving you crazy or has it begun to reabsorb? Your last post was great - Thanks.  

    Ok, I'm at work and thought I'd check in with My Girls for just a moment, and then I need to get back (to whatEVER it is i do here...any clues? Anyone?...thought not. {sigh}) 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited March 2008
    Oh yeah, btw...when people ask me if I'm "cancer free"...(they need to ask, because they care and they just don't know how it works) I answer "So far!" and then explain how it works to them. That it's impossible to know and all doctors are able to determine from scan to test to scan is that there is NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE AT THIS TIME. So, unless and until THAT changes, the answer is "So far!"Tongue out
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited March 2008

    Alright, alright. Me again.

    Kimmie - how are your counts staying? When you said you were in bed, I got concerned...you ok these days?

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited March 2008

    LOL, Kaye, I had the same thought when Lilith said she'd be coming to CA! Hey, Lilith--WILL you be in Southern CA? We'd love to see ya if you are! And that's really cool that your mom has been trucking along for almost 40 years after her diagnosis--that's awesome!

    I've been getting a lot of "So, you're cancer free now?" also, and if I say I'm NED, then, "So, you'll beat this then?" Also, people think that since I'm done with rads, that means I'm done for good with everything. Um, well, never mind the tamoxifen for five years, then the probable oophrectomy, then another five years of AI's, along with the semi-annual breast MRI's and mammos, and the fact that once you're a cancer patient, every little twinge becomes a fear of mets. I feel like I sound ungrateful or pessimistic if I don't cheerily announce that everything is going to be just jim frickin' dandy from here on out for sure, for sure. 

    Of course, there's also the well meaning but naive instructor at the dojo (I've regaled you all with her cancer comments before) who really does care, but said to me yesterday, "So, are you adjusting to your mom being gone?" Oh, yes, 17 days makes it seem like it happened years ago. 

    Sigh. Anyhow, Angie, I am so thrilled that your burns are healing well. And, DeAnn, rock on, girl. Hope you and DH have a great time at dinner! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited March 2008

    Hi gals.  I am picturing Jackie someplace warm doing a rhumba and sipping a margerita.  Ahhhhhh. 

    Kim-- how you feeling today?  Any better?

    And 1 more rad!!  1 more rad!!  1 more rad!! 

    DeAnn- you are probably officially done with rads now!  HURRAY! YIPPEE!  I am happy for you!!  Tomorrow I will give my tech a "bouquet" of sharpies.  Tee hee.

    Herceptin is all that's left for me after that.  And yes, it is a breeze now-- no se's.  I even know how I need to sit to keep my port from acting naughty, so it really does only take 90 minutes.  Bonus!

    Kaye-- no more seroma.  Maybe still a bit of swelling, but I won't judge it too harshly until I am thru with rads.  But i don't have to wear Ace bandages anymore!!  Halleluia. 

    And running the risk of being too gross, I have to say that the scar where I had been burned is almost invisible now that I had to grow all new skin there.  I guess that's a bright side. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories