Anyone starting Chemo in August 07?

nash

Hi, girls. I'm sorry to report that my mom is rapidly declining. I'm not sure that she's going to be able to rally through this time. Ironically, it seems that the cancer is currently under control with the Tykerb. Her body, though, seems to be giving out.

I keep praying for God to relieve her suffering--it's up to Him how He goes about it. A recovery would be nice, but I don't think it's going to happen this time. 

wackyjackie

Nash,

I'm at a loss for words.  Your Mom has been an inspiration for all of us.  Don't give up.  You're right...it's up to Him.  I pray to God that he relieves her suffering and pulls her through.  Try to be strong and at peace.  She always suprises us with her strength.  I'm sure she will this time.

Love and lots of hugs and prayers,

Jackie

katoMato

Oh Nash - We love you! I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I've been there, so believe me - I understand. You're right, it's up to Him as to how he does this. And I'll be asking Him the same request. I know I have told you this in the past but dh just expressed what a great daughter you are. You have such a wonderful attitude, no complaining or grumbling even with everything you have to see everyday. It would shred a lessor woman, and we stand impressed. (I would give anything to be able to help you!)

yellowtownhouse

Nash, How I wish there was something I could do for you and your Mom.  You have both been an inspiration to me.  I will just pray and trust the Almighty that he has both of your hearts in his hands.  Know that we're here for you.

June

nash

Thank you, girls. You truly bring tears to my eyes, I am so grateful for your support and prayers.

chemomom

Nash-- So sorry to hear your mom is not doing well.  My hope for you both is simply for "the best," whatever that turns out to be.  My thoughts will be with you both.   Angie

nash

Thank you, Angie <<<<hugs>>>>>>>> How are you feeling?

DGHoff

Oh Nash,  I'm so sorry to learn your mom isn't doing well. Both of you have been an inspriration to all of us, and I greatly admire your strength. Know that you both will be held close in my thoughts, and that I am sending big hugs down your way.

DeAnn 

nash

DeAnn, thank you, my friend.

I feel like I'm in the middle of the apocolpyse. We seem to have pissed off the cancer gods in a really big way. My aunt, who has colon cancer, will be here on Tuesday from Chicago, to say goodbye to my mom. I called my other aunt, who was planning on coming the weekend of Feb 23 from Ohio, to tell her to come earlier. Guess what--my uncle, who has bladder cancer, just found out that it's spread to his kidneys, and now they can't travel. Shit. 

And of course, both my dad and father-in-law both died of cancer within the past seven years. 

Then, I took food over this morning to family friends from the cancer center, who also have kids who go to school with my kids. The father had a very rare sarcoma two years ago, but survived it. He was just diagnosed with a new primary cancer, some sort of head and neck cancer maybe two months ago. We'd seen them at chemo on Monday, and he'd looked very ill. When I got to their house today, hospice was there. They're giving him maybe a week to live. Their kids are 13, 10 and 7. Please pray for them.

Sorry for the downer post--I really feel like things are spiraling out of control on this end. I am going to ask the onc to order hospice for my mom on Monday--I will be needing the help.

Many, many hugs and blessings to you all.

Kimmie--did you make it home OK? 

yellowtownhouse

Nash,

There are no words for what you're going through.    Though most of us have not met you, we know you because we know your heart and we love you.  I believe with all of my heart that you will come through this and will given the strength to do so. 

It has been my privilege thru the years to work with some awesome hospice agencies.  They will help both your Mom and you in so many ways.  Nothing will take away your sadness and pain at this moment but I beg you to let others that care for you shoulder some of the mountain you're carrying.

love and prayers to you and yours.....

June

katoMato

Yikes, Nash. Sounds pretty apocolyptic from this end, too. The road is a good one, but the patch you're on right now is pretty darn bumpy. I think sometimes (for me) it just takes patience, and endurance to get through. So that's what my prayer for you is - patience, endurance and peace.

katoMato

Hey, Kimmie - What finally happened with the flight vs the later appointments? Did you get the Neulasta shot? Are you still in TX?

wackyjackie

Nash,

My heartfelt thoughts and prayers will be with you, your Mom and the rest of your family.  May God give you strength to get through whatever lies ahead.

Love and hugs, Jackie

nash

Thank you Jackie, June and Kaye. Your words bring me great comfort.

The hospice nurse will be here this afternoon. Somehow my mom and I made it to the onc appointment today. The onc says there are maybe two weeks left, but I think it will be sooner than that. She's suffering right now, and I'm hoping hospice will be able to help her be more comfortable.

wackyjackie

Nash,

The two of you have strength that is unbelievable.  Your Mom is truly blessed to have a strong, loving and unselfish daughter such as you.  I pray and pray with all my heart that she suffers no more.  I pray that you suffer as little as possible as you spend this time with her.  You are in my heart at this very difficult time.

Love and hugs, Jackie

Ggma

Nash, I'm so sorry to hear that your burdens are so heavy at this time.  I hadn't been on the site for a couple of weeks and didn't know this was going on.  You will both be in my daily prayers.  Both of you have been such an inspiration to so many people through this website and I can't even imagine how many lives you've touched through these events.  You are being kept close in prayer by many people and I'm sure that God will take care of both of you.  I agree that you have been such a blessing to your Mom as she's been on this journey and I pray that hospice can come in to give both you and your Mom some relief as they help your Mom go though this.  Lean on those who care.

Debbi

katoMato

Hey Debbi, it's good to see your (surprised!) face! How have you been?

Kimmie - Are you out there? What's going on? Haven't heard from you for A WHILE....

Nash, I know you're really busy right now, and I'm not expecting you on but IF you checked in, I wanted to remind you that I was thinking about you both, (and praying as well). Big hug from the Desert over here.

I'm going to be doing the City of Hope's 10th Annual Hike for Hope on March 2nd.  It will be my third time hiking on this one. Apparently you hike two of them, then you get breast cancer to let them know that you're really  serious.(...I'm sorry. Poor stab at sick humor. I apologize. It's TRUE, but still sick.) Anyhow, they have them all over the place, but at this one they go up into the Indian Canyons in Palm Springs, past the pools of water and waterfalls and it's really a nice hike.  (I wish we could all go on it together. THAT would really be fun.)

Hope everyone is doing well -

wackyjackie

Kaye,

You are just so freakin funny!!!!! That sounds like a wonderful hike.  Enjoy.  And, yes, I wish we all could go together THAT would be fun.

Talk to you soon.

Hugs, Jackie

Ggma

Hi Kaye!  Sorry that I haven't been on here much lately.  I'm feeling really good except for this nagging feeling of complete exhaustion that just won't go away.  I work all day, come home fall asleep on the couch, wake up and go to bed, just to get up and do it all over again the next day.  I don't know why, but I'm more tired now than I ever was while I was in treatment.  The good news though is that I've had a mammogram and an MRI and both have come back great!  I go see my rad dr. in 2 weeks, get the port taken out on the 7th of March and then I'm pretty much done!

On a bad note though, my dad was dx with prostrate cancer and will be having surgery after the 8th.  He goes to the surgeon on the 20th and it just depends on when they can get him in.  He had bladder cancer 7 years ago.  He's not a normal 70 year old and is really active...climbing trees, up to roof barns and so forth.  Any kind of surgery will be hard on him, because he never sits still.  His prognosis is good, it's just getting from here to there.  We all know how that is, right?

The hike sounds wonderful and if I come out, would you push me in a wheelchair for it?????  jk!  I do still love your sick humor. 

I went in to the cancer center today for a port flush and the rad techs had already gone home.  However, before they left, they decorated my wrist band with Valentine wishes and notes telling me how much they missed me.  Wasn't that sweet?  I was hoping to get to say hi to them before my appt., but was too late.  Maybe in a couple of weeks.

Hugs and prayers are still going out for Nash and her mom. 

wackyjackie

Debbi,

Sorry to hear about your Dad.  I hope he has a speedy recovery.  It's one thing after another. I hope you get your energy back soon.  I think sometimes our bodies(and whatever is left of our minds!!) just crash.  Give yourself time.  And I'll push you in the wheelchair!!!LOL.  Prayers to you and your family.

Love and hugs, Jackie

wackyjackie

Nash,

I'm praying for you and your Mom.

Prayers and hugs, Jackie

nash

Girls, your support has carried me more than you all will ever know.

My mother passed away this morning, 6:15 am PST. She'd slipped into a light coma yesterday morning, and was very calm and peaceful. She lived with us in her own little separate house on our property, which we'd built so she could move from NM to CA to live with us when she was Stage IV. The plan had always been that she pass away peacefully in her little house, and that's exactly what happened. I'd spent the last few nights sleeping in her house with her, and she literally "waited" for me to get up this morning, then simply stopped breathing when I checked on her.

Hospice was able to get her comfortable. Everything went very quickly, which was merciful, as she was really struggling with her breathing the past few months.

I have lots of family here from all over the country. If it wasn't such a sad day, I'd think we were gearing up for a big party. So that's a comfort and distraction for me right now. I know things will be hard after all the bustle dies down, but I really do feel her in my heart and I know she's at peace.

Again, I can't tell you all enough how much your support, thoughts and prayers have meant to me. I love you all and am grateful that in the midst of all the horrible things cancer does, at least it brought me to this board and specifically to this group.  Hugs to all.

katoMato

Dearest and most precious Nash - I was in my husband's office with him when he checked the board (He's truly addicted to you guys) and when we saw that your mom had passed, His first comment was how cool it was: It went exactly the way he'd been praying. God doesn't always answer so specifically - so it's nice when He does.

We're so sorry for your loss...I'm glad you've got people there keeping you busy.

Know that you've got people out here, too. 

Hugs to you, dh, and your little Nash-sters. 

wackyjackie

Nash,

My heart breaks for you and your family.  For your Mom, I feel happy that she left peacefully and the way that she wanted to.  I'm glad you are surrounded by your family right now.  I will continue to pray for your strength and peace at this difficult time.

Heaven surely has a new angel today and she will be guiding you through the rest of your life.

Lots of love, hugs and prayers, Jackie

katoMato

Debbi - I'm SO sorry to hear about your dad. This life is too short, and sometimes it's filled with stuff that hurts! He sounds like he's strong and  hopefully he'll do just fine. (Climbing trees at 70 years old? I want to eat what he eats!)

Do you have any idea what your fatigue is from? Could it be from rads? Or nourishment related? Low grade infection of some sort?

Jackie & I will have to fight over who gets to push you in your wheelchair. (ok. We'll share.) Wait - maybe we could all take rotating turns pushing, riding, pulling, pushing, riding, pulling. The only problem I forsee is the part where we go up the hill next to the waterfall. We'll have to all get out and push. Or just dump the "ridee". Otherwise, not a problem!

And I'm amazed that they keep those ports in for so long after tx! When was your last chemo? Is that typical? I wonder why that is.

Hugs to Jackie, DeAnn, Angie, June, Kimmie (...where ever she is!), Lillith and anyone else who's just hiding out! 

Ggma

My heart goes out to you and your family Nash.  I can't imagine what it's like, but at least she's at peace.  That's the way I want to go when it's my time!  How cool to think that there's another angel watching over you now.  Try to enjoy the family and know that we'll all be here when you come back. 

Kaye ~ the waterfall sounds pretty!  I love California.  In fact, it's my favorite place in the states.  We went out to San Clemente twice and to San Diego once and I was just enthralled with the whole area!  The last time we were there we spent the day on the beach at San Clemente with my daughter, son-in-law, 2 sons, one's girlfriend, my husband and I and our granddaughter.  What a group.  At the end of the day we couldn't pry ourselves away so we went and bought some wood and food and had a bonfire on the beach and cooked steaks on the grill.  We all spent the evening laying around the campfire.  It was undoubtedly the best day of my life!  My oldest son was getting ready to deploy to Iraq and we were all leaving to go back to Indiana the next day.  It's a night I will never forget.

The day he came back home is the day I found out I had cancer!  Another day I'll never forget!  Wow!!! That was just last April but it seems like a world away!!!!

I think that WackyJackie has the right idea with the reason I'm so tired.  I think that I worked everyday through chemo and rads, we moved as rads were starting and I think my body is just telling me...enough!  I finished chemo the last week of October, but they decided to leave the port in until I finished rads.  I finished rads last month and was supposed to get the port out the first of this month, but I called and postphoned the surgery because I was going in this week to have a pre-existing pre-cancerous condition checked that was dx back in March of last year.  I wanted to be sure that we were done with all tx before we took it out.  My veins are horrible so we didn't want it out until we knew all was okay.  All tests except one has come back fine though so as soon as that one comes back it will come out.  I'm currently scheduled for March 7. 

I'm sure that my dad will turn out fine.  He's a very strong man and nothing ever gets him down for long.  It's just all the nasty stuff of getting from here to there.

Thanks for caring!

Debbi

kimmie39

HI

Please forgive me for taking soooooo long to check in.

Ive been having a bit of trouble adjusting to all the NEW STUFF in my life..(Texas, Flights, being alone, new docs......ect...)

So today Im feeling better and decided it was time to get caught up.

I can go no further  until I speak to Nash.

Nash - I can not express adequately my sorrow for your  moms passing!  I will always  find her a great inspiration and the memory's of her strength and courage will be with me forever. Im glad to read you have alot of family there with you. OK as corny as it may sound, I believe I came to catch up on my emails today because Your mom had passed and someone up there knew how devastated I would be if I found out much later and had not tried to be some support to someone who had been such a tireless support to me.

Her passing makes all my woes seem somehow more trivial, less important.Checks my perspective.

Please know Im thinking of you and your family.

Just for the record I also believe your mom is now an angel and she will be with you in spirit.

OK

I also wanted to let you guys know what has happened in the last wk or so.

I did see the Stem Cell Team at MDA and they think Im a good candidate for a Stem Cell Transplant. That information both excites me and makes me scared. Do any of you know anyone whos had one? MDA does about 550 of them a yr. the most out of all the hospitals in the country. The REALLY GREAT  part is I have a chance o being cured ! A possibility I had given up hope on.

I ended up getting the shot by my local oncologist when I arrived home the next day. And yes my bones ached because I didnt remember the claritin remedy. Blame it on chemo brain.

Dr C. changed my chemo and this one is not as hard on me as the Taxol/Carbo was. I do find myself more fatigued but not as sick. Thank God for ALL improvements.

I go back to MDA on the 26th for another round of chemo and possibly more test. 

I to had a bumpy ride on my return flight but not near as bad as Kays. WOW I would have been so scared. Im glad your home safe.

I hope all is well with you guys and Im glad to return to post, Ive missed you all.

Hugs in Va

Kim 

wackyjackie

Kim,

It was great to hear from you.  You sound so positive and happy.  That is wonderful.  I pray you will be cured.  I'm glad you're not so sick also.  Keep up the good work!!!! Stay strong.  I'm hoping good things keep coming your way.

Lots of hugs, Jackie

DGHoff

Nash, I sit here with tears in my eyes reading of your mom's passing, but yet there is a small amount of happiness there too in reading that she had such a peaceful transition from this world to the next. I am glad that she is no longer suffering, and I hope that you are finding comfort in the embrace of all your family.

Kim, I'm very pleased to hear that this new chemo is working out better for you and that you had such a positive and hopeful experience at Anderson.

Debbie, I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but it sounds like he's pretty tough. I hope all goes well for him.

Hugs to everyone, 

DeAnn  

katoMato

KIMMIE!!! We were so worried - Thanks for catching us all up. (That can't be gramatically correct.) And what GREAT NEWS!!! I don't know a thing about stem cells, except that they don't need natal stem cells anymore (and that's a good thing). My step brother works at the City of Hope (my cancer center and home-away-from-home) in the stem cell ... "part"? "Section"? "Division"? I have absolutely no idea what he does, but I'll be finding out now, that's for sure.

You sound so great - I'm so glad. I WILL be thanking God for all the improvements. How ENCOURAGING. Man, it's "dance in the street" time again, isn't it, girls? (Uh Oh...It's been a while - I might have lost my "boogie". Oops. Nope. There it is under the couch. Ok. Takin' it to the streets!)