Anyone starting Chemo in August 07?

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  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2008

    Hey gals, after another tear-fest this morning, I think I am ready to plow thru this radiation-burn-business.  So this morning the 2nd piece of dressing that was supposed to last a week was already coming off me from the discharge from my burns.  And I was trying to figure out how I was going to be able to go to work when i keep soaking thru bandages.  I was miserable and feeling sorry for myself.  So I started bawling.  I bawled in the bathroom and down the hall to my bedroom where I curled up in the fetal position and cried for at least 20 minutes more.  Here's the kicker... meanwhile, my kids are having breakfast and watching Spongebob-- the episode where they sing, "It's the best day ever!"  So I am listening to this complete opposite world going on and I am getting even madder that this stupid cancer is once again taking away time with my family.  Instead of giggling, singing and dancing with them I was off in this other world...again!  So right then, I decided enough was enough.  I had to suck it up, bandage up and move on.  And that's pretty much that.  So the burns are still pretty nasty, but i have managed everything else and I will manage this.

    I do see the rad onc every week.  But on Monday.  On Monday, I was moderately crispy.  By Tues night I was oozy.  And I asked again this morning to see the rad onc... not there again!!  This is the price I pay so that I don't have to drive 40 min each way for treatment.  I suffer because of small-town doc crap. 

    Oh hey, catch this-- My last chemo was 12/20.  Just TODAY my eyelashes fall out!  Gone!  Sayonara! ...Whatever!!  Hopefully I can still be in the Hedgehog Club even though I am a weird version with no eye lashes.    Does a real hedgehog have eyelashes?  Do other critters have eyelashes?  Baby seals do.  Chimps, yes.  Hedgehogs, i am not so sure.  Maybe I'll Google it.

    Ok gals,  I gotta go.  I am having movie night with the kiddies and dh.  We're watching Surf's Up.  There's a classic blanket-fort built in my living room from which we will watch the movie.  I definitely want to make sure I don't miss out.  Especially since I am in charge of popcorn!!  Have a nice weekend everyone!! 

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  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2008

    Oh... I forgot.  i am getting boosts to the scar and the nodes.  The boosts are supposed to be more intense radiation concentrated in the areas where a tumor would most likely recur, or something like that.  I guess the scar area is often the first place for a new tumor. 

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  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2008

    Hey Deann and Kaye-- I am a Lost fan too!!  We'll have to discuss it sometime!!

    Oh- Deann-- so no more bad reactions with your Herceptin??  I just had my 3rd, I think.  So far so good, here--  although I was roasting all day, which was odd.  But i hope yours are still uneventful.  Angie

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  • kimmie39
    kimmie39 Member Posts: 319
    edited February 2008

    All I have to say is if you guys dye your hair you've gotta post pics!!!! I'm missing the hedgehog thing and I dont want to miss the pink hair to.Tongue out

    Angie - Please tell me your feeling a bit better. 

    Kim

    Va 

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  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited February 2008

    Man, Angie, that blows. I hope you feel better soon. The rad onc should be ashamed of himself for being unavailable when you needed him.

    I'm really starting to groove on the whole pink hair idea..... 

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  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited February 2008

    Nash,

    Yes, that was too funny!  I was laughing most of the time I was laying there on the table, thinking "Thank GOD I didn't have to go to a tattoo parlor!"

    You will just HAVE TO post pics of your new hair color, when you get some pics!  I am thinking about coloring, but want to try an ALL NATURAL haircolor, and in researching at a beauty supply store, there doesn't appear to be many to choose from, plus the salons really do not use any natural products...

    Harley

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  • chemomom
    chemomom Member Posts: 171
    edited February 2008
    Kimmie... I am doing MUCH better.  At least I am dealing better with the stupid burns.  I guess I needed a time to be scared and mad and then I needed to remember to get over myself.  It's no time to be wimping out now!
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  • Ggma
    Ggma Member Posts: 97
    edited February 2008

    Angie, I had the bad burns like you and the good news is that when you're done with the tx, they do heal fairly quickly.  Mine was right where the band of my bra went and there was about a month that I just couldn't wear a bra.  I felt soooo self conscious about that.  My skin is still a different color where the burns are, but it is healed.  I also have pains in my rib cage occasionally and they've told me that it's caused from the nerves regenerating. 

    I want to join the hedgehog cruise, when does it set sail????  All that's around here is frozen ice and snow, so we'll have to find a warmer place to cruise from!  Of course, anyplace warmer than Indiana sound like a place I'd like to go to now.

    My hair, as you can see, is also coming in gray!!!!  I've always been blonde so this is so different.  I promise that as soon as there's enough hair to make it worth my money, I WILL be blond again!  It's weird, I've never had a dark hair on my body and now the top of my head and the sides are gray.  The back is a mixture of black and gray.  I believe that if it keeps this up I'll dress as a skunk for Halloween this year.  Or, I could dye it pink and go as a punk rocker!

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  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited February 2008

    Hi Girls,

    I was away with my sister and 6 little girls at a hotel with an indoor pool for my nieces 10th birthday and boy do I feel like I have a hangover....and I didn't even drink.  But it felt good to be a little "normal" again. 

    Ggma and Kaye and all the other hedgehogs out there.....it's very scary but I think we all look alike.  LOL!!!!LMAO!!!!I'm trying to get my picture on here(i'm a little slow at that) because as soon as I saw Ggma's new avatar I realized how much we look alike.  Instead of hedgehogs I could definitely be in the skunk convention.

    Oh well, I'm off the watch the Academy Awards in my leopard pj's.

    Have a great evening.

    Hugs, Jackie

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  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited February 2008

    FURRY WOODLAND CREATURES - Welcome to the Furry Woodland Chemo Creature Cruise.

    Skunks, please step to the left side of the cabin, Hedgehogs, to the right. Watch your step. Wonderful!

    Remember, No drooling or shedding on the deck furniture. That's riiiiight.

    (No! No! Pooping on the gang plank is BAD! BAD creature, BAD!)

    You, the leopard in the pajamas - will you please keep them under control?

    Whew! One more episode like that and we'll all be turned into Shark-Snak.

    (Hmmn. i'm at work. and i'm beginning to see why i don't get a paycheck.)

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  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited February 2008

    Sounds like one crazy chemo critter cruise, Kaye! (ooh, do you like my use of alliteration?)

    I posted a new avatar so you can see how I'm matching ya'll with my hair. This one was taken about three weeks ago, so it's a mite longer and shaggier now.  How do you all deal with the hair over the ears fuzziness? 

    Ggma, I'm totally with you on the hair color thing! I want my blonde back!! 

    DeAnn 

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  • Ggma
    Ggma Member Posts: 97
    edited February 2008

    Oh DeAnn, I WILL get my blonde back!!!!! 

    Kaye ~ You crack me up!  I can't imagine what a job working with you would be like!  And don't worry about me drooling or shedding, those days are LOOOOONG over for me!

    I have an appt. w/ my rad dr. tomorrow, but it's an hour away and they're calling for 7 inches of snow tonight on top of the 6 we already have.  Blowing and drifting to boot, so I have a feeling that I may not make it there!  We'll see...

    I don't even know where the furry woodland chemo creature cruise is heading, but sign me up if there isn't any snow there.  I'm sick to death of snow for one winter!

    Debbi

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  • Ggma
    Ggma Member Posts: 97
    edited February 2008

    Jackie, I almost forgot to tell you that I'm going to be checking this site regularly now for a picture of you.  Maybe I have a twin out there that got separated from me at birth!  Can't wait to see your addition to the site!

    Debbi

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  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited February 2008

    Debbi, Kaye, DeAnn, and all other chemo buddies.........

    I finally got my picture up with the help of my dh.  I really do think we all look alike!!!  Good luck with the snow tomm.  Have a great day.

    Hugs, Jackie

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  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited February 2008

    JACKIE YOU ARE SOOO CUTE!!! Even withOUT Leopard pajamas!

    And think what you will, but we will NEVER look as Elf-like as DeAnn.  DeAnn, you must be our resident Meerkat on this voyage. (And yes, nice alliteration. Well done, Meerkat.)

    Angie, before too much time gets away from that post, I wanted to tell you that your post on the 22nd brought tears to my eyes - and I wanted to stand up and cheer. Kinda like how you feel when you see a cheesy sports/inspirational movie. (yes. i am sap personified.)

          "So the burns are still pretty nasty, but i have managed everything else and I will manage this." yeah! YEAH! They make MOVIES about stuff like that. GO ANGIE!! (i loved it. it made me cry. i give it two thumbs up.) I just love you to pieces, girl. It's been GREAT going through this with you.

    AND...just for all of our edification, I Googled "do hedgehogs have eyelashes". ...I got the weirdest pieces of mental kibble bits i've ever seen. Whoa. THAT was an experience. No direct answers though, so we'll just have to assume that hedgehogs do indeed have eyelashes. And by default, You will too.

    And now, the weather. 

    Nice Kato wants to be compassionate for all you snow-women, but the Evil Kato just wants to gloat. It was 73 degrees today and tomorrow it will be 80. Aaaaahhhhh. "...chink..." (that was the sound of me poppin' a cold one next to the pool.)

    Keeping in mind that I have neither "popped a cold one", nor sat next to the pool in a Very Long Time. BUT I COULD IF I WANTED TO.

    (I'm sorry. I have to do this, because I have a limited time before where I live turns into Gehenna, and "popping a cold one" is done in your living room because NO SANE PERSON goes out in that heat. Period.)

    Good grief. What a tome. Ok, I'm done!

    Hey Nash - hug to you. (And everyone else!)

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  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited February 2008

    Kaye...

    LOL!!!You're right, I will never even look as young as DeAnn, be as young as DeAnn or as thin as DeAnn looks, but right now I have the same hairdo as DeAnn...you are alway so funny!!!!!

    Angie,

    Kaye is right.  I don't want to let time go by without acknowledging your post.  You truly are a very strong woman and very inspirational.  I'm sorry for all the suffering you are going through and I admire your courage.  Keep on pushing yourself.  Prayers for lots of strength.

    Hugs, Jackie

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  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited February 2008

    P.S. DeAnn, I don't know WHAT to do with the hair over the ear fuzzyness. I'm thinking a pair of scizzors...Maybe an appointment with someone who knows how to wield them would be better. I'm making "the call" tomorrow. Maybe I can look a little more civilized (housebroken? wait - other end) for my HIKE 4 HOPE next weekend!

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  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited February 2008

    Ahh, so I am not the only one noticing fuzziness... LOL. I have to post a new pic with my new hair - I am so impressed with it, short but lively. yay. sinead o'connor in growth!!!

    Kaye - I've been known to pop cold ones this winter... it has been such a mild one, that every weekend I ended up on the front porch, with a decent bottle of prosecco bubbly (not by myself, wink wink). Usually, that activity is reserved to August uniquely! frankly, some desert wind would sometimes feel "refreshing".

    Well, maybe I feel the winter is so mild because of my internal heating out of wack. heck, who knows.

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  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited February 2008

    Just popped in for a second to say you ladies all look awesome!

    All this talk of a critter cruise makes me want to take the kids to the zoo this weekend to visit the meerkats. They're one of my favorite critters, although I always want to pronounce it "meekrats" for some reason.  

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  • emg326
    emg326 Member Posts: 102
    edited February 2008

    Hi All,

    I know I've been a stranger to the boards lately. I've been checking them a bit, but am trying to keep busy and get back to normal. Is that possible?

    Nash, I'm so sorry about your mom. It seems everywhere I turn someone is getting diagnosed with cancer. My friend is on her way to surgery right now. She has ILC, and I'm afraid it's going to be advanced. Another friend just had a hysterectomy because of uterine cancer. What is going on?????????

    As for me, my hair is coming in nicely but with more gray than I'd like. Since chemo ended and starting Tamox in Nov., I've had an enormous appetite. Anyone else with that problem? I've been exercising a lot but have put on a few pounds. Yuck!

    I'm hoping to have my exchange surgery in April as I'm planning on taking my kids skiing in March.

    Well, I just wanted to check in and say hi. I hope you're all doing well. Hang in there!

    Eve

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  • katoMato
    katoMato Member Posts: 645
    edited February 2008

    EVE!!!!! So good to hear from you!!!!!!!

    i feel so abandoned when anyone wants to get on with their own lives and leave us in the dust! (Perfectly understandable, but fodder for ABANDONMENT ISSUES NONETHELESS!)

    We thought about you alot during the fires - I'm glad you're ok.

    Thanks for checking in!

    BTW. I'm with you on the appetite thing BIG TIME. (unfortunately.) All I ever do is eat. Or buy food. or prepare food. or clean up after food. Sigh. Whatever happened to "man does not live by bread alone." ?  I seem to. (oh. I'm not a man. ok. I get it.)

    Well, I need to go because we're having my MIL for DINNER, and I have to get some THINGS at the STORE. (see what I mean?)

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  • kimmie39
    kimmie39 Member Posts: 319
    edited February 2008

    Hi,

    Kay as always I can count on you for a LOL. The Evil Kay, You just kill me. HAHA.

    And Ill give a hearty second that to kays note for Angie, I defiantly cant say it any better so I wont try.

    I laughed so hard at all the pics. Not cause they are funny so much as because they're soooooooooCUTE!!!!! If I ever figure out the avatar thing  Ill show you my basically bald head.

    Eve - Im glad your finding your way to a new normal.

    DeAnn - Is it me or does it sound like your our Cancer Poster girl?   Believe me Ill never look as young or be as thin either!!!!!!!!!!!!! But thats OK I do however make a mean sausage gravy. HAHA

    Hi nash nice to see you post. Hang in there.  And keep posting.

    Well gotta go. Im in Houston and had my treatment today and Im HUNGRY!!!!!!!

    Kim 

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  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited February 2008

    Hi, Eve, and thanks for the condolences. I hope your friend's surgery goes well.

    Well, I skated w/o my little ski cap today for the first time, and the consensus at the rink was that I have a nice shaped head. Who knew? They also thought in the color department, perhaps I should do one side pink and the other side purple. Which I thought might be nice for Easter. Sealed

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  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited February 2008

    Hi All,

    I have just spent the last ten minutes reading all your posts and laughing so much that my four-year-old got out of bed to ask, "Mommy, why are you laughing so loud?" I told him that mommy had very amusing friends, who are all very sweet. Y'all are too funny.  (I just realized that I write y'all a lot, and I'm not even remotely from the South. Hmm. I wonder why I do that?)

    Ooh, sausage gravy sounds so very good, Kimmie! Much better than the kale smoothie I had for lunch, today. Sigh. Poster girl for Cancer, eh?  Well, its not exactly the sort of poster I envisioned for myself as a girl, but hey, we take what we can get, right?  LOL!

    Jackie, I so love your glasses! They are super cool, and you look sooo stylish with the short hair thing going on. It really does look cool!

    Ggma, Hey, I like the darker stripe in the middle. I wish my hair did that. Kinda punk, chic!

    Eve! Nice to hear from you! Glad things are going well. I also find myself hungry a lot!! Of course, it might have something to do with my green smoothies leaving something to be desired.

    Nash - I think a purple and pink side would be very fun. I've been wondering lately what would happen if I just poured beet juice in my hair? It would be all natural, and it probably wouldn't last long. Might be a good way to "try out" pink. I'll let you know if I get the guts to try it!

    Angie, glad to hear your not letting things keep you down. You are an amazing woman.

    Here's to all you amazing women! Hugs all around.

    DeAnn

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  • DGHoff
    DGHoff Member Posts: 624
    edited February 2008

    Oh, and Lilith, I agree with you that winter seemed a little milder when I had the hot flashes.  Now that they are mostly gone, I'm cold all the time!

    DeAnn

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  • Ggma
    Ggma Member Posts: 97
    edited February 2008

    I'm having coveting issues here, Jackie and Kaye have so much more hair than me!!!!  I want to have issues about what to do with the hair hanging over my ears also!!!!!  It is growing, but oh so slowly.  I was in the mall today and some lady was complaining about how short her hair was because her hairdresser had gotten scissor happy (it was past her shoulders).  Her friend nodded her head my direction and she turned to look at what she was motioning at.  It sure shut her up when she saw me with one of my "cancer hats" on! 

    I went to my rads dr. appt. today despite the snow and she asked me why I wasn't on Herpceptin or Tamoxifen...I told her that it might have something to do with the fact that I was triple negative...she argued with me that I wasn't, then looked back through my records to realize that she was wrong!  Now I wonder if the rads were correct or if I got rads for positive people!  Lord knows that I used to be positive, but now I'm getting more pessimistic every day!!!!!

    She's a nice lady, but wow, I think that we'll skip her for awhile!  Next appt. is with my regular oncologist on Monday and then the port removal next Friday.  Can anyone tell me how that goes?  Will it be sore for a couple of days or what?  It isn't bothering me at all and I'd love to just leave it in, but they say it's time for it to go away. 

    Well, work comes early tomorrow so I'd best get to bed.

    Nite all ~ Debbi

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  • nash
    nash Member Posts: 2,600
    edited February 2008

    Yipes, Debbi. Your rad onc obviously trained with the one from my rad office, who was filling in one week for my regular rad onc. He and I had a five minute argument about how many treatments I had left, because he.....had the wrong chart in front of him. Duh. 

    And people who mock other people's hair in public really ought to be -itch slapped right back to the 7th grade where they belong. Sheesh.

    Hey, Kimmie--hope all goes well in TX this week.

    DeAnn, maybe you're channeling something with Kimmie's TX treatment and thus the "y'all"? Laughing

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  • lilith
    lilith Member Posts: 543
    edited February 2008

    Hi girls... I see that everybody is busy and - I hope - happy.

    Angie, everytime I come on this page, I read your post... I find it amazing and smart - and brave, and optimistic, and STRONG. Just wanted you to know that... your burns will go away, and the most important thing is that you are living your life. Hugs to you.

    Here I've been doing OK. I have to say that I am having little or no side effects from both Herceptin and Tamox, so I am lucky that way. The Chemo is further and further away, a couple of nails still black from Taxol, but will grow out in time - it appears they are NOT coming off, just hanging in there - I am just afraid of someone stepping on my toes!!! yuk.

    I guess I am having a bit of a depression time. After all the last months, when there was no choice but being strong, now that I am at a standstill I find very little will to actually keep going. Everything feel senseless, just plainly tasteless. I pull myself nicely together as long as there are others around, but left on my own I don't think I would even leave my bed... I am sure it will be better in a few days - well I can't afford to wallow in this for long! I feel I should throw myself in something new, but I just cannot figure out what. I've read that the end of chemo can be hard, but this is not how I thought it would be... it isn't that I am scared, it is just that I feel useless, un-wholesome, and that most of the things I do feel really meaningless.

    Again, sorry for ragging...

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  • wackyjackie
    wackyjackie Member Posts: 669
    edited February 2008

    Lilith,

    Please, please don't ever be sorry for ragging.  That is what we are here for.  I think we get on such an energy high when we are first diagnosed and have tons of decisions to make and then we start treatment and keep on pushing to get through the worst, there is no time to even think...let alone feel anything.  When it does come to a halt we do have to re-evaluate everthing in our lives.  BUT, you have to give yourself time.  Your body is still not anywhere near where it was.  I think we get physically and mentally exhausted. 

    I finished chem on 11/21/07 and radiation on 1/25/08.  I just now feel like...almost like my old self, except way different.  I hope that makes sense(most of the time I don't!!).  I would love to stay in bed every day.  Some days I'm angry(I don't know at who or what).  Some days I'm so happy just appreciating every little thing.

    Please, please don't ever feel useless. I don't know anything about your private life but for starters you are very useful to me and the other ladies on this thread.   I think I know a little bit of what you mean.  I feel like I should be doing something profound, like other cancer survivors.  Maybe start a foundation, raise gazillions of dollars...I don't know what!!!! I was never one to do anything outstanding.  I like to fade into the background.  But I do like to help other people and sometimes just helping out newly dx'd women on this thread, or crocheting the little squares for afghans for women in need makes Me feel so good. 

    Don't beat yourself up.  Just allow your mind and body to heal and rememer, we all need you and love you here!!

    Lots and lots of hugs, Jackie

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  • Harley44
    Harley44 Member Posts: 5,446
    edited February 2008

    Lillith,

    Yes, I understand what you mean, about feeling kind of down and depressed and useless. 

    I am going through this myself lately.  I thought it was because my onc has demanded that I stop taking Effexor, because he thinks it may be interfering with the Tamoxifen.  I believe it was helping with the hot flashes.  Now that I am pretty much weaned off it, I am feeling tired, depressed, and useless.  I don't sleep very well, because I have the hot flashes in the evening and at night, when I am SUPPOSED to be sleeping.  I don't know what to do, but...  I don't want to take the chance and keep taking it, if there is even a remote chance that it will stop the Tamoxifen from working.  I am SO scared of mets!

    I don't know what to do to make myself feel better, but there's LOTS you are already doing to help others, so don't feel bad.

    What Jackie said is true:  You are VERY IMPORTANT to ALL of us here!! 

    Hugs

    Harley

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