taking a break

Beth you have started some great threads, the fashion thread, and in makeup thread youv'e given us all such good tips. I really am pissed that someone would send you nasty pm's they're probably jealous of you. This site is supposed to be about saying how you feel and I still think it's ridiculous that people do this. What a bloody shame. I hope it's only a break and we'll see you again. What I don't understand is what on earth could anyone find anything nasty in any of your threads., don't get it.Pearl49

I wasn't going to say anything here, but I was one of the people who received an unsolicited negative and insulting email from you Beth to which I replied with empathy and compassion. There are always 2 sides to a story and I hope in your time off you can recognize this. It's not fair to the board to lead others to believe you're an innocent victim in all this.

I didn't see anyone talking about the politics thread here Ann if your point was directed at me. Not knowing the entire side of the story, it's sad that people are making a judgment based on only what Beth has said.

Amy - the post Ann is talking about is now erased.  It was in the reconstruction thread ... I read it.  Glad it's gone.  That's what I was talking about earlier when I posted to Beth about people making mean comments out of FEAR and PAIN and in this case I sensed desperation, frustration and hopelessness as well.  The person lashed out in meanness and anger.  It had nothing whatsoever to do with the Politics thread. 

Beth is referring to two separate things.

We've been through this kind of thing before on the Circle thread.  Best to let it go NOW ... before suspicions, mistrust, second guessing of motives and constant searching of innuendo start overtaking your posts and discussions and support of one another.

Beth...sorry to see you go.

I have a friend who was just dx'd with bc...I hesitated before I recommended this site to her but did it anyway with a disclaimer about "you know how it is when a bunch of women get together."

That's sad considering the reason this site is here in the first place.

That's all I have to say. 

P 

Hi Beth, sorry to hear you had this problem. 

Catherine

Thank you Beesie.  My sentiments exactly.

Ann

P.S.  Now I'm going to resume my search for unanswered questions by new posters asking about biopsies, reconstruction, liver mets, what to say to a friend whose wife was dx'd with Stage 4... etc.  And I hope people who have more info to impart will do the same!

Okay, can I say this?? I hate when posts get deleted. There I said it. I am a gossip. I wondered what was said. To me posts deleted (unless s*xual offensive) make us imagine the worst.

Shame on the attacker. Beth, if you read this sister. Rock on.

I have to agree with PinkRibbonAmy (and that's rather rare, isn't it Amy?).  Amy and I disagree probably more than we agree with one another.

When Amy said, "it's sad that people are making a judgment based on only what Beth has said."  So true, Amy.

I do not know what happened in the reconstruction thread.  I'm going to assume it was a poster other that Katie6.

So, it's okay that Katie has been run off?  I mean she's only posted about 35 posts.  Geez, let's judge her.  She's been accused of, perhaps, not having bc.  Or trying to come here and cause a "ruckus" BECAUSE she has such few posts!  Does one have to do something very special in their life TO BE special?  Do Katie's feelings matter?

Okay, I know we're suppose to let this thread die.  But I can't when a person is being unjustly criticized.  When Katie posted that she received a PM, she did not SHARE the PM with us, nor did she name names.  Is that against the rules?  I do not share PMs because they are just that..private messages...only if I am given permission and I haven't had the need for that.  I don't get hateful pms.  I guess that's because I'm not important enough to get them.

Let's take a look at some things that were said.  Then, you guys can delete this if you want.  However, it starts on page 19 with Beth's post.  And it goes on from there.  And I say, have an open mind.

First of all Beth posts before Katie.  Katie is feeling that we, the conservative women, do not really have a place on the politic board so, she posts:

Katie6 posts:

"This thread is scary. No other opinion is welcomed. Perhaps a republican thread could be started so those of us who wish to discuss what we like about this country can be posted safely. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but that applies to those of us on the other side of the aisle as well. Also, if you are going to cite a political talking points memo from the Hillary Clinton campaign, written by her spokesman, it should be noted. NYbeth I just think it represents the best interest of fairness so the readers can consider the source of what you provided above. <going>"

-------------------------------------------------

*notice the word, scary.  Katie wasn't referring to "scary" as in someone SCARED HER.  Interpretation certainly is important here.  Scarymeaning..geez, we're out numbered..

When I started posting on another board out of Tampa Bay I was taught by the "pros."  I never posted on a message board before.  I was taught (and if you didn't do this you were humiliated) that ANY TIME one posts a quote from another individual or a publication or where ever you got that quote, you always let it be known where the quote came from.  Perhaps it's not important here, but it was drilled into my brain so it has become important for me to know who the source of a quote is.  And, that was what Katie was pointing out.  Beth was obviously posting something from Hillary's campaign.  When I was almost done reading this post I also thought, were did this come from.  No link was posted.  No name of the source was posted.

Let's go from there..here goes a few posts.

--------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere Beth wrote back something to the effect that she was in a rush..something like that..and didn't think it made any difference..I don't remember. For some reason it appears that that post is deleted unless I've missed it.

----------------------------------------------------------------   

 "14 Feb 2008 09:56 AM

Well I just got sent a private message that I am not permitted to post on this thread anymore. Apparenly one of the posters here does not like my point of view and she told me not to post on any thread that she posts on. Since she posts on almost every thread I take it I am to leave the website?

Pinkribbonamy and Joanofardmore, that is what I meant when I said that other opinions are not welcome here. Thank you for asking me to stay.

I am going to find Shirley and Linda and see if they also "got the message"

Katie"

  -----------------------------

"14 Feb 2008 06:36 PM

Edited 15 Feb 2008 11:36 AM by Mizsissy

Katie,

I find it very surprising that any woman here would make that kind of threat.  What did she back it up with?  I mean, are you really afraid of her?  What could she possibly do to you?  You certainly weren't afraid to post about her!  BTW, who IS she?  Not anybody I know for sure.  I think we should all know about this.  Do the moderators know about this?

BTW, are you just here to post political opinions?  36 posts ain't a lot for someone who's already so involved in so much drama!

Just curious , 

Miz"

-----------------------------------------

These are my emphasis.  And I make more emphasis throughout my post.

-------------------------

  15 Feb 2008 09:43 AM

Edited 15 Feb 2008 11:37 AM by Mizsissy

Iodine, I think you hit the nail on the head.  Junie, I agree with you too...we were taught not to discuss religion, sex, or politics in "polite" society, but heck, this is an election year and there are some important issues to be discussed.

I think it is interesting to share views...and I think these things should be discussed..if we are to live in a democratic society.  A breast cancer forum is actually a pretty wierd place for this kind of discussion, but since we're all here, why not?!

We need to separate the issues from the people...political opinions are not personal attacks.  We need to have opinions if we're going to vote.

What I don't like is this idea that people are getting threatened for voicing their opinions...I'd like to know who is doing this and how...and I wish Katie would explain this to us because I find it a little hard to believe.  This is not about a political opinion, but about women being threatened on the boards and whether it is "safe" to post here.

Well, I got in what I had to say about Obama, I hope women can continue to post here without feeling threatened, and without being personally attacked.

PS...I think this is an issue for the moderators and I am going to ask them to investigate this...

---------------------------------------------------------- 

15 Feb 2008 04:53 PM Edited

15 Feb 2008 04:58 PM by Mizsissy

Shirley, I think you're being very sweet to Katie, I think basically you are a sweet person and you don't want to harm anybody.

But if Katie is going to come here and give people the idea that they are going to be "threatened" for just expressing their own opinions, I want to know what Katie means by this.  I have seen Katie's tendency to exaggerate already when she says this board is just too "scary."  IMHO, the "threat" wasn't really a threat, just an opinion.

We are not a bunch a werewolves here, we're just a bunch of women, and WTH does everything have to get so weird?!!!!

The other thing that I think about is Geez, this is an election year, and God Knows what or where is happening with the political campaigns. Are there actually people who are inflitrating all the boards to create a ruckus?  Don't tell me it can't happen!!!

Miz 

---------------------------

Next post notice -- "extreme opinions bout something they can't know."  How does this poster "know" what's going on.  She is taking a very extreme opinion. And she keeps posting the word, "threat."  As pointed out by another poster, Katie never used the word "threat."

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15 Feb 2008 05:31 PM Edited

16 Feb 2008 10:35 AM by Mizsissy

I find it interesting that so many women here are taking extreme opinions bout something they can't know.

We can only speculate...but if someone is making threatson BC.ORG I want to know about it.  Maybe even I shouldn't be posting.  How the heck can someone not be *permitted* to post?!!   What are the consequences?  I want to know.  If they can threaten Katie, can they threaten me?

Or is this just a bunch of dramatic hoopla!  Why don't we just find out...or is the truth something that you cannot deal with?  Is the mystery more interesting and productive?!!

Miz

--------------------------------------------

And then Beth comes on and tells it like it is.  You can read that on your on if need be on page 21.

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"15 Feb 2008 06:50 PM Edited

16 Feb 2008 02:36 AM by Mizsissy

OK Beth, I am glad you posted, because I have been trying to figure this out and I kind of imagined that it was something like this. 

I feel just as you do...I am so tired of all this personal melodrama.  Instead of talking about the political issues we got sidetracked into speculating about what was written in some personal messages--a private argument between two women--which is none of our business anyway.  We were told it wasn't "safe" to post in a forum.

We should be able to act like adults and have adult discussions with one another.  Did they make a mistake when they gave women the right to vote?!!!

Anyway, we just got two movies from Netflix, and I hear they got great reviews...now for some good drama...

Good night!!

Miz"

----------------------------------------

And I just discovered something.  Miz came back and edited her post the day after she posted the above.  Notice the time and date between the posting and the editing.  Notice that I quote her from the above post.  She has now deleted the part I quoted.  It was not very nice.  Notice the day and time I posted my response to her.  I was EXTREMELY upset!...it starts with, "Katie is guilty of exaggerating......."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"15 Feb 2008 07:13 PM by me (Shirley)

Excuse me!  Has someone new taken  over these boards?"

---------------------------------------------------

 Miz posts this, but deleted it after thinking about just what she said.  I told her to reread her post.  She obviously didn't think it was very nice.  But, you can go back and see that I quoted this and now it's gone!

------------------------------------------------

And this is the continuation of my post to Miz, but she has deleted the bold part of the quote.

"Katie is guilty of exaggerating and over-dramatizing and enough is enough.

BethNY, you are welcome to post here.  I value your opinions.  You also have a vivacious & vibrant personality and are an asset to the boards here. Please don't leave. 

Katie, we haven't seen too much of you, but you are also welcome, but if anybody is guilty of bullying, it is you, not BethNY."

-------------------------------------------------------

And, I continue my response to Miz.

I would suggest you reread what you just posted.  I would be running as fast as I can away from this board with this kind of attitude.  How can YOU judge who is bullying.  Just because Katie hasn't been here on these boards does not mean that she has any less right being here.  And how can YOU say she's exaggerating?  Do YOU know something that's not posted here?

Cliques are one thing, but kissing @$$ is something else.  I'll probably get kicked off here because someone may go running to the mods. 

Katie is just as good as Beth, you, me..everyone on this board.  Her input might be of value. 

<STOMPING OFF!>

Shirley

----------------------------------------------

That's the end of the posts that I wanted to point out.  However, there are other posters who chimed in and was a bit upset by Miz say, IMO, hurtful things to Katie. 

Tell me this wasn't hurtful toward Katie.  I do not know Katie.  Didn't know her before this thread.

Miz, you need to understand the difference between and "board" and a "thread"  You quoted Katie as saying this "board" was scary.  She was saying that because of the few women who are conservative here and what each of us were saying to each other.  Don't you see where she said maybe we should start a "Republican" thread?

And as someone else pointed out here to Miz, Katie NEVER used the word "threatened."  No one has been "threatened," Miz.

I guess you can say I'm for the underdog. Katie is not well known here.  Beth is.  There are ALWAYS two sides to the story for which Amy and I agree.  In my opinion, Katie should be welcomed back.  But'cha know what, I bet she won't come back.  It's a down right shame!

To be accused of being a impostor of a woman who has breast cancer is cruel.  If Katie was a person who came here claiming to have bc and didn't, she would be sicker than we who DID/DO have breast cancer.  I recall a time when another poster on this thread was accused of not having breast cancer...surprising, isn't it.

I'm not in a popularity contest here so, I don't really care what you think I me.  I think Katie deserves a "voice."  She obviously doesn't feel she can defend herself.  I see one of her posts has been deleted by "this community."  Was she trying to explain what happened?  I didn't read the post.

You guys can do what you want with this thread.  Some people are really thin skinned. We all have different talents.  Some of us are adored, well respected, funny, just the BEST person EVER.  Then, there are those of us who just have plain ole flaws, or don't stand out, and who do not have big egos.

And, Miz, I don't mean to be picking on you.  It's just that you had some pretty hurtful things to say..sometimes vague...and the other time, when you deleted part of your post, it was an accusation that Katie was a bully.  The vague part was your implications for what reason she was here.

<I am again STOMPING OFF!!!>

Shirley

This public drama has to stop!!!  I wrote Shirley last night and apologized for making her so upset and I asked her to delete that post. I honestly thought Katie was some kind of troll or imposter...or at least a trouble maker.

I have experienced so much deception myself recently that perhaps I was being overly paranoid...you know, even I am beginning to feel sorry for Katie now and I just want to get off these boards and on with my life..

Miz 

This thread is going nowhere but into the gutter.  Would the MODERATORS please intervene??!!!

Althea posts:


"Wow, Shirley, when you mention page 21, am I to understand that there was a thread with that many pages filled with the type of content you pasted here? I am so glad I missed it. Such ugliness."

No, Althea, there was not 21 pages of "such ugliness." We were "debating" (sometimes heated..but that's what happens in a debate especially about politics and religion) the candidates. And in between the "ugliness" we were still debating the candidates, not only the PM.
No, Miz, I will not delete my long post.  The "community" may delete this if wanted.  People truly need to learn that these trivial things can cause so much hurt.  I was not trying to be hateful. I was trying to be informative. People need to know the truth. No one has the right to tell someone not to reply to their posts. If one does not want their posts to be replied to......IGNORE that poster. I would never PM someone and tell them to NOT reply to my post. But, of course, that's just me.

I had lunch with a friend today who HAS NEVER had breast cancer. She has been one of my very best friends throughout this journey. We have been friends for over 30 years (telling my age). And I have one other very special friend that was there for me. I had other offers, but these were the two people I felt comfortable calling on and being around. My friend told me today that she's being going to her church who has a Buddha (and she said he didn't have a big belly or wear funny clothes ) teaching them to meditate. She told me the steps they go through to learn how to meditate. She said to me that when it was time to focus on a friend she thought of me. She said to me that tears started rolling down her face (and there were tears in the restaurant thinking about what I had been through. Needless to say, we both had tears running down our faces.

Why am I telling you my little story about my friend. Because she never had breast cancer, but her empathy for me was greater than what we have here, at times, on this very board for our bc sisters. If we get so darned irritated by a post, ignore it. It's not important.

I do not know who wrote this, but wanted to share.

"People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person..

When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty,
to provide you with guidance and support ,
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.

They may seem like a godsend and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end
Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire
fulfilled, their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,

because your turn has come to share,
grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson,
love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime."

Kari - I agree with everything you said.

As much ugliness as there seems to be these days, I KNOW that if I NEED support I'll find it here.  I always have and I know that won't change.

I'm quite grateful to not be in need of support at the moment (knock on wood!) but it takes some effort and serious "ignore" action to come here to check on dear friends I've made along the way who might need support.

I want to return the favor to the many ladies (e.g., YOU!) who were so supportive of me when I needed it. 

I may not visit here as often as I would like, but when I do, I'll put on my waders and hold my nose and try to stay out of the stinky stuff

KariLynn,

LMAO! I wasn't going to post and bump this thread up but after reading all the drama....your post made me laugh out loud!!!!

"15 min of my life I'll never get back!"

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That was funny girl!! That's what I'm talkin' about!

((((((((((((((Hugs everybody)))))))))))))))!

Traci