taking a break

Beth:  Goodness.  Once again I dont have a clue what has happened.  I just think this is really sad.  There are too many coming here with real life issues and they are scared.  We should be kind to each other.   Im sorry to hear this happened to you.  

Nicki 

I am totally confused at the chain of events!

Beth,

I've too have been on the receiving end of attacks from ladies who claim to be here with unconditional support for one another...

I still check the boards sometimes, but often go days and lately weeks without checking in.  It's just not the same place I joined 3 years ago.

  I hope U come into the chat room. 

"I've too have been on the receiving end of attacks from ladies who claim to be here with unconditional support for one another..."

I am in total agreement with what djd has said above. 

Beth, hope to see you back again.  Hugs!!!!

WTH??  I have no idea what happen. I am ashamed that this has happened to our Beth. She has been such an inspiration (as so many of the ladies here). WTH??? Ladies, Ladies...

Remember what your momma said? if you can't say anything nice, then don't say it!!

Beth, I understand, but I feel that leaving is the wrong thing to do. It is like a chicken house. Chickens will peck you out of the coop unless you fight back, you belong here. Phooey! That is what I say.

Banning a metser? that is sad too.

I have no clue what happen Beth, but I am sorely sadden at the turn of events. Each internet board I have been a part of has had this happened, I just don't understand it.

Janis

sad, sad, sad to those who made this happen

Oh, don't ya all know never to talk politics and religion! loan money to family or friends??

=0) smirky

Beth, let me add both my wishes that you continue to be a great advocate for breast cancer survivors and tell you how much I'll miss you here.

Sometimes breaks from the internet are healthy. You can still assist people in your unique, loving way, whether it's here or at work.

Rock on, girl. Keep pushing. And if you decide to come back, we "oldies" will welcome you with open arms.

Peace,

Anne

Beth ---

WTH??!!   I AM SO VERY SORRY to see you go!! 

Please come back!!  You have been so very helpful to everyone here!


Harley

Tina, I also follow your "rules for posting". I don't try to change anyones oppinion and stay off the political threads. I saw some of the threads that were directed to Beth and I thought that the attacks were not provoked by Beth.  Sometimes it is good to take a step back and repriortize our feelings.

Sheila

Right or wrong...agree or disagree...this site is for EVERYONE TOUCHED BY BREAST CANCER. I have noticed a decline in decorum over the last few months. Maybe it's just a general anxiety we are all feeling. Whatever the cause, it saddens me that people are having such a hard time getting along.

Breast cancer and all it entails takes so much from us. Perhaps it is the flailing and struggling for control and stability that makes some of us cling so vehemently to our opinions and causes such a violent reaction when we are met with disagreement. If one is scrambling to hold fast to those bits of her life that she has control over--like her opinions--it makes sense that a perceived threat by way of disagreeing or counter-argument could cause someone to lash out.

We are all wounded. We are all at varying stages with this disease and we all cope differently. Some of us are on medications that impact our thought processes and moods. Still others of us are struggling with financial issues, family discord, career challenges, or problems with insurance and medical care.

I hate to see that anyone feels as though they are not wanted here. I am so grateful for the differences in all of us. It is a great gift to be allowed to interact with a global community of women brought together by such a rotten disease. Disagreements or not, I have benefitted beyond measure from reading the different viewpoints and experiences of everyone here.

I am so sorry that ugliness and attacks--both by PM and in "public--has chased away people who have so much to contribute. 

I think that the power of this little "community knowledge exchange" was sorely underestimated by its creators. I don't think they had any idea how huge and important it would become to so many of us. They are scrambling furiously to try and implement features to help make visiting the boards a safe and positive experience. Unfortunately, backing into the situation as they are rather than preventing some of the problems from the beginning has proven to be quite a challenge.

We all screamed, "DO SOMETHING" when "Sophia" and all his permutations continually spammed the boards with exploitative and hurtful garbage. Many of us provided suggestions. The mods, I'm sure, spent time discussing the pros and cons of each possible solution. They settled on a "report this comment" feature that would allow removal of a post if enough community members agreed a post should be removed. They did provide a confirmation page that urged people who report a comment to be sure it fits the criteria before reporting. In their efforts to give us what we were clammoring for, the mods inadvertantly produced a situation wherein users could abuse the system and use their power to silence those with whom they disagreed.

In any group of people, there is always going to be that fraction that abuses privelege. There are always going to be people who are combative. There is no way to screen or weed out "troublemakers". The goal of this site and message board are to get INFORMATION and SUPPORT to those of us that need it. Unfortunately with human nature being what it is, we are forced to contend with issues and personality conflicts that detract away from that ideal.

I understand your desire to take a "time out", Beth. I do hope that you find a shorter absence rather than a longer is what's right for you.

I also hope and pray that we all can learn to appreciate our differences and varying viewpoints and restrain ourselves when our base instincts urge us to attack.

(((HUGS)))
Diane

Very well said Diane--

So sorry it has come to this

I've seen so many topics start off innocuous and turn venomous with personal attacks and innuendos

Beth -So sorry you were the recipient-  I've seen it too often over the past few years and have been truly sickened by it.

Too sad

I hope with time you feel comfortable enough to occasionally come back 

where you are much loved

I have also been the recipient of venemous messages.

I think I will share one.

From Bethny: 

Just wondering what I could have ever done to you, that no matter where I post on this board, you seem to always have something rude to say to me.

B/C of YOU, I opted out of helping to plan the march on Washington.  Your comments then were rude, and unnecessary.

Then, you are rude again in the political debate.  I never for a minute thought anyone would think those comments were my own.  I cut and pasted, and I did it b/c no one was answering Amys' question. I did it in a rush, and wasn't even giving thought to the fact that people would wonder where the source was from.

In my 3 plus years in this community I have formed some incredible relationships.  Further, I am well-liked, and a respected member of this community, who treats everyone with kindness, humor, and laughs.

It blows my mind; your posts, while not directly attacking me, leave me with a sour taste in my mouth.

Do not respond to any of my posts on these boards.

Amen!

I knew it was just a matter of time before this started to turn. I thought private messages were supposed to be...um...PRIVATE?!? Did I miss the memo on that one?



If you can't play nice by staying out of the fray, at least don't add to it by fanning the flames. Gheesh!