taking a break

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BethNY
BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer
taking a break
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  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited March 2008

    Hey girls-

    just writing to let you know I'm taking a break from these boards.

    This is not one of those cheesy attempts to get you to tell me to stay... I'm just too lazy to PM a lot of you guys.

    Last week I took some pretty harsh criticism in two different threads, and believe it or not the PM's won't stop coming.  It's a sign from above that I should take a break for a little while.

    There's a lot of new exciting things happening on the www.breastreconstruction.org site, and for those dealing with reconstruction, I hope it continues to be of help.

    Love to all,

    b.

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  • purplemb
    purplemb Member Posts: 1,542
    edited February 2008

    Dear Beth,

    hoping you find peace...thinking of you..

    MB

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  • OneBadBoob
    OneBadBoob Member Posts: 1,386
    edited February 2008

    Dearest Beth--

    Those "harsh criticism"s made me hurt and cry--I thought of PMing you to express a hug, but since we really don't know each other, and I figured you were probably inundated with PM's anyway, it did not.

    I would like to peronally thank you for your valuable input to this site, and for all of the information I got from your postings here and your own website in helping me make my reconstruction decision.

    Rest, take it easy, worry about yourself and your own peace of mind for a bit, and when you are ready, I hope you will come back to these boards to help inspire those newbies considering reconstruction, especially the young girls, like yourself, who were dealt this stinking bc hand much, much to frigging young!

    And you have worked hard and overcome a lot to get to where you are, and truly deserve it.

    I remember what my mom alway said:  "Don't be envious, but rejoice in the success and happiness of others--If it can happen to them, it can happen to you.  You just have to patiently wait for your turn."

    ((Beth))

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited February 2008
     

    Beth,

    It saddens me to read that....but I DO understand.  I didn't know any of what was happening to you.   I had been away for awhile...BECAUSE I HAD MY RECONSTRUCTION!!! I have to give you some credit...you were one of the first people to reach out to me with words of wisdom, when I joined here. For that, I THANK YOU!

    Take care...you are a very inspiring young lady!

    xoxo

    Lisa

     
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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited February 2008

    this is a tragedy.  i usually don't post when there's any board drama, but i'm going to break my own rule. i think this is awful.  you've always been so supportive of everybody here, beth.  i can't believe you have been driven off the board.  what is this, 7th grade?  i just had to say that.  it angers me that people send harsh PMs to others or say harsh things to each other in threads.  this isn't the place for it, in my opinion.  it's a support board...it's why we are here. 

    i greatly value your contributions here and hope you return soon. 

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  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited February 2008

    ditto and amen gsg!!! Thanks...you said that very well!

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  • wishiwere
    wishiwere Member Posts: 3,793
    edited February 2008

    I just wanted to add my thanks and say ditto to all the above posts concerning your leaving Beth.  Please know you'll remain in heart and prayers will you return here :)

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  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited February 2008

    Beth, if you're reading this, thanks for letting us know where you are.  I hope you come back when you are ready.  Thanks for all you've done.  Hope to see you on brecon.org.

    Tina

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  • NaughtybyNature
    NaughtybyNature Member Posts: 1,448
    edited February 2008

    Oh Beth... I guess so many of us left these boards, and some never came back under their original alias, b/c of "crap" like you are enduring right now.  But sometimes the "crap" does hit the fan!  Sorry about that.  (May I add I don't even know what threads you are talking about and really don't care to know!).

    Let's not forget to agree to disagree! 

    Take a breath... walk away, enjoy the day(s) out there and you know, there is life besides this site and some of the "problems" that get started here for "no apparent reason".

    You are still one of my heroes and nothing w/ change that.

    We will all be here waiting for you when you are rested from this current "drama".

    Love you,

    Lilia

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  • lexi4
    lexi4 Member Posts: 1,074
    edited February 2008

    Hey Beth,

    I don't post often. Your presence will be sorely missed. You were literally the first person to reach out to me when I started this bc journey. It helped me soo much and I am sad to see you go. However, I do look forward to when you come back! You always have great things to share. I am proud of you and all you do!

    Hugs,

    Lexi

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  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited February 2008

    Beth I agree with all the others on this particular thread. You have helped so many women who are starting on this journey of BC. I think that the site you work on is wonderful and full of great answers for the questions that one doesn't think to ask the surgeon. Don't let a few people get to you. Take a break and we will be here waiting for your return.

    Hugs,

    Sheila

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  • Jaybird627
    Jaybird627 Member Posts: 2,144
    edited February 2008

    (((Beth)))

    WTF??? I swear, some people here just need to chill out.

    (I have no idea what happened but I'm sure it was stupid)

    Anyway, take care and I hope we can get together in NY!  :)

    I'll PM you my cell phone number, okay?

    Janis

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  • AnnNYC
    AnnNYC Member Posts: 4,484
    edited February 2008

    Dear Beth,

    I'm glad at least two of the PMs were (((hugs))) from me.

    I'm so glad I've gotten to know you here.  Your energy, spirit, intelligence, humor and love are an inspiration.

    I'd love to see you at NYC get-together -- or any old time you're in the city.

    In the meantime, I'll miss seeing your happy face -- but do whatever you need to do to keep it happy, shining, beaming!

    many more (((hugs))),

    Ann 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Beth - you've been such a huge supporter here ... and have always been considerate, kind and full of hope ...   I don't understand ... and don't know what's been going on ...  I hope you'll take a break and come back ...  you'll be missed!

    Love and Hugs,

    Doreen  

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Ouch!



    Bethany (lol), it sux to see you go, but I understand the need for a break.



    Not sure why there has been this need lately to berate the hell out of each other on what is supposed to be a support forum. It is really sad that some folks just can't get enough of spreading their negativity. That it drove YOU away makes it even sadder, as you are one of the most thoughtful, compassionate and truly helpful people here. I personally want to just hug you for all that you do/have done...



    Hope the bad karma around here will have dissipated some by the time you return. Hugs to you - and hoping to see you next month at the NYC gathering :-)



    Your pal,

    Felicity/Kiai

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  • Lynn12
    Lynn12 Member Posts: 1,008
    edited February 2008

    Dear Beth,

    I too almost PM'd you with my support but decided against it, knowing you probably had so many because you are so loved here.

    I would like to personally thank you for all your posts that helped me tremendously make the DIEP decision and actually go through it.

    Your contribution to so many here has been tremendous.  Best of luck to you.

    Lynn 

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  • Emelee26
    Emelee26 Member Posts: 569
    edited February 2008

    WTH?

    But I will miss you...

    Who is going to laugh when I have wax on my a__?

    Take some time...you're in my thoughts

    Love Marisa

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  • anneshirley
    anneshirley Member Posts: 1,110
    edited February 2008

    Hi Beth,

    I stopped posting on two different sites, mainly because of infighting and nastiness, not directly at me thank goodness, but nonetheless very unpleasant.

    The good news is I come back on occasion to check out a pain here or there and always find something new and interesting to read, and the really good news is that taking a break can help one to stop thinking about breast cancer and its ramifications all day, every day.

    So enjoy your break and most of all, stay well. 

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    ROCK ON, GIIIIIRL! And F*CK whoever they are/were! It's always best to follow your own gut in these matters though.....

    Gonna miss you Cry

    ~Marin

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  • ADK
    ADK Member Posts: 2,259
    edited February 2008

    Beth,

    I hope it is only a break and not good bye.  You have been so supportive and helpful to so many women.  I certainly respect your opinion and I was pretty unhappy with the drama surrounding the political thread.  People do disagree and I don't think a PM should be aired on the boards.  Obviously if it is a PM, it is a private message. 

    I hope you come back.

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited March 2008



    Breast cancer takes so very much from us. You have invested much of yourself in this board, and I hate to see you go.



    This disease drags us all so down by its very being: it's a dastard beast, cold hearted, sneaky and inhumane. I hope we all might tolerate each other more, as we are bound to have good days and bad even involving our selves and posts.



    Please come back when you feel you might Beth. I wish you much success and happiness, and will miss you.



    Tender

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  • nosurrender
    nosurrender Member Posts: 2,019
    edited February 2008

    What has happened on breastcancer.org?

    Why are people allowed to intimidate and belittle women who are dealing with the hardest time of their lives?

    I have been on the receiving end of some rather horrid "drama" myself, so I know what it feels like. I chalked it off to the person's obvious mental illness.

    I have seen some of the mail that has been sent....

    and you know what? NONE of it is a reflection on the person who received the hate mail/posts - it is ALL  a reflection on the small minded, cruel and frankly jealous people who have nothing better to do with their time than to tear down women who are here to offer help and support.

    This is not just a one time thing. It is happening over and over again.

    I find it amazing that women who have participated in IEDs "Internet Explosive Devices" here on BCO are now acting "shocked, shocked that there is gambling in the casino" to steal a line from Casa Blanca.

    A very valued member of BCO told me last night that she has been banned. She has mets, just had a hysterectomy and needs us now more than ever... Why was she banned? Because a group of people "eliminated her" by  hitting "report this post" on her posts so she is automatically removed from BCO. Who makes them the final arbiter of this decision?

    Are we forgetting what this place is supposed to be about?

    Note to the  Back Room Backbiters:

    Leave the women here alone.

    We are all  suffering on some level, great or small, because of one common denominator: BREAST CANCER.

    Some of us are newly diagnosed and scared out of our wits; some of us are trying to cope with the ravages of treatment; some of us are having terrible home problems because of cancer; some of us have just been told we are going to die.

    We have enough to deal with. Petty arguments and "bones to pick" have no place here.

    THINK ABOUT IT. 

    Aren't you all SICK OF THIS CRAP??? 

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  • mke
    mke Member Posts: 584
    edited February 2008

    Live long and prosper.  And keep playing to win.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    beth,

    you have been an inspiration to me for years.....thank you for being you!

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  • celia088
    celia088 Member Posts: 2,570
    edited February 2008

    Beth, you will be missed! Come back soon!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    A few bad apples do not spoil the whole bunch.

    Beth - I really loved conversing, especially at the make-up thread. Thanks for the GREAT laughs! I hope you'll reconsider. But either way...best wishes to you.

    I'm confused by all this...and totally clueless, but I hope the situation gets resolved soon.

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  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited February 2008
    i agree with every word of nosurrender's post.
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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited February 2008

    Good luck, Beth.  I'm sorry to see you go, but I can understand why feel the need.  I've only seen the public posts to you and if you've been receiving PMs as well (other than those of support), I can only imagine what they say.  Some women need to grow up.  And get a life.  And realize that they are not the center of the universe and that their opinion isn't the only one that counts.

    Enjoy your break.  I hope you'll be back.   

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  • cmb35
    cmb35 Member Posts: 1,106
    edited February 2008

    Beth,

    I don't know that we have ever "met" but I certainly know who you are and have read many of your posts. I'm sorry for what you have gone through. I don't know what threads you're talking about, I have been laying very low myself here at bco, because it is hard for me to deal with what happened on a thread that I used to post on regularly. Truthfully, it both scared and mystified me. I have a hard time understanding how anyone posts nasty words, or sends nasty PMs to anyone. It sounds like that is what happened to you. I have also let folks here know when I felt like I couldn't post for a while, it just feels weird to just not say anything - kind of like leaving a party without thanking the host. I think many of us have experienced some of what it sounds like you have, either directly or indirectly, and can understand the need to step away. I hope you stay well, and that you always feel comfortable to come right on back here and say hello when you feel ready to. Hugs to you, Colleen

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  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited February 2008

    Geez Beth,

    You're one of the most gun-ho, let's get it done, we're gonna get through this together, supporters on this board!  The young gals need to see there is a full life for them after their diagnosis and treatment. 

    You're also one smart cookie ... and you know what drives people to say and do mean things .. FEAR and PAIN, both emotional and physical, in extreme.

    So, take a day off and then get your ass back here because of all the gals that need you. 

    Love you gal!

    Bren

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