Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

Happy Valentines Day everyone.

Joni, what is RT?  Can't figure that out.  I really think the acupuncture will help with the pain.  I think you got a good draw on that one.  Bless you for going outside yourself to help someone else.

Sharon I wish I could skate but I have bad ankles.  Good for you for not giving up.

I went to the drugstore to get the Glucosamine but they didn't have the brand - Dona - that I needed so I ordered it online, hopefully will have it soon.  I hear it does wonders.  My GP said that the studies showed taking the more expensive brand, Dona ?, made a difference in the first 6 weeks and then I can change to the generic.  I read this online too, but it is hard to find.  Hopefully it comes soon.

DH is feeling a little better with his cold virus.  It was really a doozy.  I feel so blessed that I did not get it.  We had leftovers for dinner but it was just nice to be together.  He got me a huge bottle of wine (I need help drinking it!) and candy and a candle and a card, so it was a special day.  Hugs

Skye - you will have to join Tina and I in karaoke.  Glad your kidney cyst was just a cyst ( like I have in my gallbladder) - and that your other tumour is B9 -maybe your onc. can send you to an orthopedic surgeon to see what else can be done for that.

Had the Bat Mitzvah infusion today - even my onc. laughed at that one.  The nurses decided to pass my cookies out to everyone in the chemo room today, it was very nice as it was Valentine's Day so all the patients had a little something sweet.

Joni - glad you made it through your first rads, and hopefully the acupuncture will help you.  And as Tina said, it's great that you helped out the newbie. 

My DH bought me a dozen long stemmed pink roses (my favourite) today - I really enjoy them.  Hope everyone else had a nice day.

Hello Tata's,

"Glowing Bum with Hitch in Gidalong", aka "Firefly" checking in.  Off for Day 2.

Mary RT is Radiation Therapy, sorry about that.

Dan bought me the most beautiful Pink Roses with deeper pink of the edges and the vase is being held by a cute stuffed monkey holding chocolates....I made us a nice dinner of veal cutlets, baked potatoes, salad and peas.  We had a lovely 2nd anniversary.  On March 17th Dan & I will have been together 10 years, and we have known each other since 1991. 

Hope everyone has a great weekend.  It's a long weekend here in Alberta "Family Day".  I think Ontario is just getting this holiday this year for the first time.  Also, I think in the US it's President's Day...so everyone have a nice time.

Hugs to all...Joni

Oops forgot to tell Tina.  These salivettes are for the University of Calgary study I'm in.  I guess they use your saliva to check your stress levels.  Anyways, I had to suck on these little cotton rolls 4 times a day for 3 days before my therapy started, and I'll also have to do it at 6 weeks.  You put them into these little tube, and have to store them in your fridge till I meet with the girl doing this study. 

This girl is doing her Masters on Psychosocial Medicine.  Her thesis is all around Stresses associated with cancer.

Cheers..Joni

Hola ladies,

Had a nice V day.  The DH suggested we take the kids to dinner, which is so unlike him, esp. on a holiday.  He hates crowds, lines, so I was shocked.  Anyway, we had some great black bean roll up appetizers, french onion soup (yum!) and some merlot.  It was nice to get out.  Anyway, who do we run smack dab into, but this guy the DH worked very closely with.  He was having dinner w/his family.  This guy did not call the DH once since all the crap went down at work, not after my heart attack or anything.  I cannot stress how close they had been at work, so this was terrible.  Oh, and did I mention he now has the DH's job?  Lesser title, but he's running the show.  I have to wonder if he had a hand in doing in the DH.  They fired another 20 people or so this week so people will be talking soon and we'll find out exactly who betrayed him.  Anyway, it was very awkward for the guy and his family.  I was very cool towards them which is totally not me.  Later, they left and had been gone for ten minutes.  All of a sudden, they reappear at our table for a social chit chat.  I made some fake small talk...as DH say's..keep your enemies close. 

well you are lucky Joni i miss the chinooks , gals they are warm winds that breeze over the rockies from the pacific and then fall on alberta raising the temp ! We get a long weekend ... yep family day and we are supposed to get more SNOW !

Skye like you we are getting cabin fever ..... reading books for me , waiting for the days to get longer and spring !

I did not get a bone density test just a bone scan which was ok . My bones are ok ..... its my thick skull I get impatient with myself and push just a tad too much . Get sick of sitting on me butt all day !

Fell in a snowbank yesterday getting out of my truck , soaked myself ! The snow at the end of my driveway is taller than me !

The snow burries my poor poodle when he goes out for a pee !

The snow makes me do donuts with my truck .... and will not let me get up the hills in our town !

But its fun to play in ............ Rebecca & Tina your kids would luv it !

Oh, Joni....."Glowing Bum with Hitch in Gidalong, aka "Firefly""....!!! You just crack me up. Any relief from the zaps yet? Sounds like you really did have a lovely 2nd Anniversary. Is this a second wedding anniv., and you've actually been together 10 years? I'm confused...but then I am usually confused, these days. Have fun slinging that ball for Thor, and enjoy your warm weather. It's going to be rainy and miserable here all weekend - what we usually get when you all are getting the big snows.

Larry surprised me with cards all over the house on Valentine's Day. My gift was a new fancy corkscrew, a Screwpull, to open my wine with, since I've worn out my other one. Typical Larry gift - he definitely put some thought into it, and did exactly the right thing. We don't do flowers around here anymore. Farley eats them.

Skye, I do think acupuncture is worth a try - maybe you can get some referrals from someone, so you can get someone who really knows what they're doing. It probably would help you a lot. Guess I'll call my oncologist and ask about the bone density. It may be that they're going to do that with my mammogram, or ultrasound, or whatever they do, which was arranged by my rad. onc. I also need to do the eye dr. thing - I'm sort of waiting until I get more comfortable with my hair. If I have to get new glasses, I have to be able to look in the mirror to choose them.

Tina, it sounds like you and your family had a lovely Valentine's dinner out - too bad you had to run into those people.  Won't it be nice when you move and don't have to worry about that anymore?

My degree was in flute performance, by the way. Really a dumb choice of degree, but I was not thinking about supporting myself. So, I had to go back and get another degree, in nursing, and incurred more debt with more student loans. My nursing class has full of people who had music degrees, art history degrees, etc. If I had it to do over, I might be a meteorologist, too - I get very interested in the weather. There are a lot of things I might do - but on the other hand, I really do love nursing, and at this point in my life, I'm not doing anything over. I'm ready to slow down and stop.

Regarding our discussion about having or not having singing voices: despite the fact that I know all the words to all the songs of several decades worth of music, I don't sing a note, even in private, because I KNOW I don't sound good. All those song lyrics are probably c luttering up my head, too, like all my saved emails clutter up my computer. Unnecessary saves, but there they are, stuck there forever, slowing everything down!

Well, guess I'll get moving. I think we're going out for dinner tonight, so I need to get my errands done. Hugs,

Well, today starts the first day of my Feb. school break and boy, do I need it. It's been a rough couple of weeks work-wise, but today took the cake. I am a special ed teacher and we teach classes in addition to having a case load of about 25 kids. I got a new kid the other day and today was her meeting. She is not at school due to a malignant brain tumor, but we were planning her transistion. She spent April-Dec in the hospital and rehab and it just now finishing up radiation. 

It's a terrible situation. Anyhow, long story short, her educational liaison was there. She passed me her business card and I felt immediately sick. She is from Dana Farber Cancer Institute. That's where I had my treatment. I had to leave the room. Nothing like the chemo association. I will have to tell my boss I cannot take this kid on. Give me three more kids, but I cannot do this one. I do fear, though, that I will come across like this delicate flower, which I am not. I don't want them to think I'm this sensitive little thing who cannot handle any type of medical issue. That's not it at all. I just do not want to be reminded of CANCER while at work. I do not want to have to hear about this kiddo's radiation, or port needing to be flushed or whatever. Her situation is pretty grave. I feel like a total wimp, but I am just not up to it.

Blah, blah, blah!

Anyhow, on that happy note, I am really looking forward to relaxing. I may take the kids to see my parents. I have still not told them about my dad's situation. I am so torn about what to say, if anything at this point. They are young, 5 and 10, and I just feel like I do not want them to be sad any longer than necessary. I do not know his prognosis, but I think I will wait as long as possible. I guess I am having a hard time dealing with it and want to protect them as long as possible. What do you guys think? I wish I knew what to do but my instinct is to wait until there's no turning back. Know what I mean?

Anyhow, sorry to vent. I am so very thankful for you all. I really cherish your friendship. We have a special bond, that's for sure. I'm not sure anyone else would get it.

Love you guys,

Amera

Hi again ladies,

Just had to sneak a peek at the day's posts. Joni, I can just see you out there with that beautiful Thor, flinging balls into the Chinook winds. Could you fling some of those winds this way?



Amera, I don't blame you for not wanting the cancer reminder. It's awfully raw for us yet. At the right time I am sure you could be a big blessing to that little girl but if you don't feel it's for you yet, then don't do it! I realized the other day I should close my myspace blog because I do not feel like I'm all about the cancer anymore. I had such fun making the little people and the pictures of my dollhouse but haven't done a ny new ones for months. I associate it with chemo, that is why. Just like the velour running suits I can't bear to put on this winter. Do not apologize for venting, although I know I did that too. This really is the place for it and it's great we can each take our turn.



As for telling your kids about your dad, they probably already know something is up. Kids are so empathic. Maybe just starting by telling them he is very sick would help prepare them and then they would understand your concern and know it has nothing to do with them, which is the first t hing they always think.



Hope all of you who went out have a lovely dinner. Tina, you were a very self-controlled lady to make the small talk but as you said, a smart move. Should be interesting to see how that shakes out with all those fired people.



We are having a nice evening watching videos since DS is out with friends. It's been a long week! - Skye

Mel - I played the flute in high school in both orchestra and band. I made it to first chair my senior year, but I was never very good. I did really enjoy in though. I was probably the only 16 year old in my school with a James Galaway album.

Amera - I agree with Skye. I think kids have a way of knowing when there is a problem. It might be better to tell them in simple terms that they can understand vs. having them feel like a secret is being kept from them. Their imaginations about what is wrong might be more upsetting to them than if you talk to them about it.

That's so sad about your student. I think it is wise for you to see now that you wouldn't handle it well and to get out now. Otherwise you'd just be doing a diservice to you both.  

I went for a short (very short) walk today outside while DD was at her riding lesson. The weather was gorgeous today and it was so nice to be outside. DH and I are going out tomorrow night for our Valentine's Day dinner. Somewhere very fancy downtown. It should be fun. It will be the first time since surgery that I've worn something other than sweat pants. I'm looking forward to that. 

Well, Amera, since Tina has said it, I will jump in.  It did occur to me that maybe that little girl with the brain tumor was "sent" to you not only for what you could do for her, but for what she might do for you.  I don't know, at all.  In no way am I trying to guilt-trip you into taking her on if you feel you can't do it, emotionally.  I think you are wise, and even brave, to say "I can't do this," when you aren't emotionally up to it after the past year.  But there might be an opportunity there for you.  I can't tell you how much support and affirmation I've gotten from the cancer patients I've talked with since I was diagnosed - even the ones who were probably terminal.  They have helped me in so many ways.   Anyway, I know it might be painful, and you might not be ready, but you might be surprised to find out you have a lot to share.  Just something to think about.  I totally support you in whichever road you take, and you are the only one who knows which one is the right one.

Jan, hope you have a wonderful time out on the town tonight!  I can't even remember the last time I got dressed up to go out.  Enjoy yourselves.

Mary, I won't drink all the wine before you get here - can't wait to see you.

Have a great weekend, everyone.

Skye, look at this:  http://community.breastcancer.org/topic/67/conversation/700520 

There is someone else with hemangiomas in their spine - I just happened to see this this morning.  Maybe you can compare notes. 

Hi Viddie - hope you're enjoying your tropical paradise!

Hi Ta Tas,

Tina - I just read your post about the "slanderers" calling up the new employer and defaming the DH.  I just cannot get over that - totally disgusting - do these imbeciles have nothing better to do with their time?  I hope this will not jeopardize the new job situation for the DH.

Amera - yes it is a tough situation for you with the student with the brain tumour - but if it's still too raw for you, then I would ask to be reassigned as you mentioned.  Do what you feel you can handle, no one can do anymore than that.

Joni- I hope you had those chinooks.  We've got freezing rain here today - Man, will this winter never end?

Jan - I hope you are taking it easy, and recuperating well. How was the Valentine's dinner.  I bet you really enjoyed that.

Mel - I love your new avatar?  Is that your real hair?

I hope everybody is doing well this weekend.  I'm a bit whacked - the first weekend after a Herceptin infusion I am very tired.  We drove to London yesterday to visit Amanda, and then on the way home some friends called us to meet them at an Italian restaurant for dinner - We really were tired, but went anyways and had a nice time.  The DH and I have been following the South Beach Diet for about 5 weeks - he's lost 17 pounds, I'm down 12.  At the restaurant last night we shared veal parmesan and salad - no bread, no pasta.

xo Caya

Caya your post appeared while I was writing. 12 pounds is major!!! You go girl! That is roughly the diet I try to follow too.



I'm always tired the weekend after Herceptin too. Maybe that's why I was so wiped yesterday.

Glad you had a fun evening out!

Skye

Whew...I am far behind!
My darling Firefly...you are so welcome for the socks...sorry you started to cry, but at least they were happy tears!  I love all you guys so much! Hey has the rads started to take away your pain?  It is hardly worth having a radioactive bum if it still hurts!  Glad you had a good time with Thor throwing a ball...and I hope he had fun too, he deserves it after what a good boy he has shown himself to be.

Mel, I did not have a bone scan after chemo...or EVER for that matter.  My onc did absolutely no scans at all other than the breast MRI that I had to specifically request either before or after treatment.  Not sure what is up with that...he said that his philosophy is that scans do not improve prognosis over waiting for symptoms to appear.  I guess lessscanziety for me on one end, but I do get that fear of the devil lurking hidden in my bones.  yeck .  Flute performance degree, huh?  I think that there are a lot of people out there with degrees like those that do other things....my DH has a degree in Music Composition, and now he is a librarian...go figure.  Love your new avatar!  And I say sing if you want to, even if you can not carry a tune.  I sing all the time, just for the joy of it...even though my voice is probably not the smoothest in the world.  I too have a brain very cluttered with lyrics and if i do not let them out once in a while they drown out everything else.  My kids think it is hilarious that I can walk around the supermarket and sing every word of the "elevator music".

Yeck Tina...nothing worse than having to make fake small talk to someone you suspect of being a backstabber.  My sympathies...there is very little that I find more distasteful than fake people, and if it is possible cancer made me even LESS tolerant of it.

Sharon I lived in Buffalo for 5 years and I remember the snowbanks over my head!  Not that it takes much to top me...I am a bit (ahem) vertically challenged.  Big snow like that is fun, though...the kids on our block used to build tunnels and/or deep pits in the snow.  when I was a kids we used to build a curved ramp at the bottom of our chosen sledding hill that allowed us to round the corner and go all the way down into the woods. so fun!!!!!

Oh Amera you poor thing.  That sounds so upsetting.  I hope that you can work it out one way or another.  I truly believe that there are no wrong answers in a situation like with that little girl.  If you feel up to it, i am certain that you could bring something special to her educational team, but if you are not up to it, then it is best that you wisely and gracefully let someone else carry her.  Go with your heart regarding telling your kids about your dad.  I understand your wish toshield them from the emotional trauma, but at the same time it might be good to give them some time to process the information in small bits.  If you do not mind my nosy nose in your business I would suggest that you introduce things to them so that they are better prepared to receive news when news becomesnecessary to give.  Tee hee ...just read down a bit further, and it would seem that I am echoing the words and thoughts of everyone else.  In any case, big hugs to you.  vent here anytime.

Mary you have such a great attitude about your kids significant others...I would kill for you as a MIL!!

Jan I hope you had a great night out...nothing quite like putting on "real clothes" after a trans-formative surgery like you had.

Viddie great to see your "hi"  hope you are having  a great time.

OMG Tina...that is just dreadful.  I think it is likely time to start exploring legal avenues.  what on earth is their problem?!?  I am just beside myself right now on your behalf.

Skye I guess you are on your way to a crash course about hemangiomas.  I tried a kickboxing workout the other day and I swear i am so uncoordinated that i must have looked like such a fool.  I am just glad I do this stuff in my living room and not in a public forum.  I am sure I would be a laughing stock.

Caya, congrats on your South beach diet...12 pounds is great!  I can not wait to hear you sing, by the way....maybe we should find akaraoke contest and clean up.....

Whew...did not think I would be left alone to do this....My DH only came in twice and clucked at me for "still being on the computer" but considering I did not touch it for 3 days i think i am doing better than he is!!!!  Going to sign off now, Turkey is almost out of the oven. Caya lost 12 pounds and I  probably gained them.  OY.