Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

luckymel

Have to run, but first, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, Nancy!  Y ou picked a miserable way to celebrate, but it can only go up from here.  50 big hugs to you today.

Tina, I'll be holding your hand today - hope there is good news when I get home from work.

Have a good Friday, everyone.

skyedivine

Happy Big 5-0 Nancy! Love the cane left on your porch. Sad to say, there are mornings I feel I could use one. It sounds like the cleanup is well under way. Will the insurance replace the lost shoes and clothing too? That could actually be fun.



Jan you will back climbing rocks in no time! My boys have the same birthday, June 4, so we always had double parties too. And still do I guess. I always accused them of planning that in heaven before they came here.



Mel you are probably right that it was the insurance realizing they had no option. Either that or that a biopsy would cost more. I'm trying not to think about it too much. Yesterday I did errands, had to hit Staples, Petsmart and Walmart, and having to push shopping carts through 3-inch slush wore me out so badly everything hurt and I just stayed on the sofa for the evening, and of course I was thinking oh no, the cancer must be back. Today I feel better so I'm thinking it's certainly benign. And I keep flip-flopping day to day. I said ok to another book contract because we still have to pay 20 percent of all these tests, so I guess I'll be writing all summer too. I will certainly bring my laptop to the get-together!



Rebecca I have shakiness too and I credit a lot of it to the chemo nerve damage. No part of our bodies totally escape that, being flooded with toxins for four months or more.



On the pill-switching I've done that too! Took an Advil pm AND an Ambien instead of my statin one night the other week. Did I sleep well! :-)



Viddie let me know if you are going to visit Marquette with Meri! - Skye

Caya

Just a quick check -in, had our annual year-end meeting with our business accountant this morning...

Happy 5-0 Nancy - you and I are '58 babies -  I'll be joining you in September - Geezerville, I like that - you gotta love the humour in it, especially with all the crap (literally) that you and Jeff are going through -  try to go out tonight for a lovely dinner, and enjoy!!

Tina, I sure hope the DH hears about the job offer today - it is so nervewracking... I'm sending positive vibes from Canada.

Skye - sounds like you have been busy, as per usual.  I like your positive thoughts that if it doesn't hurt so much,it's probably B9.:)

Mel - wow, chemobrain strikes with a vengeance - glad you figured it all out and are back on the meds.  I also can't believe all the meds I am taking (in a good way, like you) - but I know I need it all.

Have a good day gals.

dkmaustx

Nancy I hope the clean up is progressing. What a thing to happen just before your birthday. What cards your sis and bil are to deliver the walker to your door. I have a cane, but I mostly use it when I'm flying to have an excuse for pre-boarding.

Mel, when I ache more than "normal" I have to check to see if I took all my pain meds. I just take naproxen and acetaminophen, but I really feel it when I miss a day or two. Before my surgery last year I had to do without the Naproxen for a whole week before. I could hardly walk by the time the day finally arrived. I have to be careful when loading my pill boxes, too, so many pills look so much alike.

My hands act up from time to time, too. Mostly when I sleep with them folded up funny or I lean on the mouse too long when I'm at the computer. I swear the keys move around on my keyboard. It's either that or my fingers can't spell very well.

The hubby and I went out to lunch yesterday at our local little Cajun place. I decided it was time for a new picture. They had lots of Mardi Gras themed art on the walls. My hair style isn't changing all that much, but I can cover my ears a bit now.

Have a good weekend, everyone.

skyedivine

Debbie, it's no small thing when we can finally cover our ears with hair (and not hair grown from inside the ear). New pic is lovely.

Caya, congrats on getting through a year end accounts meeting, my eyes glaze over just thinking about it. And yes, I know I should keep dwelling on the GOOD interpretation.

I spent the day getting the Internet back on my laptop, finally having to drive to town to the ISP to have the top help guy reset the information that downloading the new Quicktime erased. And I'm using it now, wahoo! Maybe now I can use the ipod as well. I will try this evening to download something.



Wishing all my sisters a blessed weekend with no major snowtorms, sewage overflows or mixed up pills. - Skye

mer1957

Aw Tina, thinking of you...it must have been a long day

Happy 50 Nancy, you and I are now the same age at least for a few months.  I hope you found some joy in your day.  Melia, thinking of you. 

Well hubby is sick with some virus, upper respiratory, that is going around.  Trying to take care of him and not get sick at the same time.  I guess it will be a boring weekend around here but I could use it.  I made some whole wheat carrot muffins today.  Can't wait to taste them.  I am trying not to eat in between meals - boy is that hard. 

Debbie, like your new pic.  I am getting my hair cut and colored tomorrow - it will feel nice to get pampered.

Well today at work the bc bug hit again, one of the female attorneys.  She doesn't want anyone to know in case they come after her work and clients, how sad.  She had given me a bracelet when she found out about me and yet this is suppose to be a secret so do I send her a card or anything or wait until it all comes out? 

She is having a double, by choice, and reconstruction.  That got me thinking again about reconstruction.  I feel like the only one who doesn't want to do it.  And then there is the problem of missing work and fearing for my job and benefits.  The attorney can get away with taking off as much time as she wants but the clerical staff have to take vacation days.  I emailed my boss that there is no way I took off 9 days for a mastectomy and am working Christmas week.  At least I felt better after I said that.  Ok, that was good to get out of my system, stay healthy everyone.  Joni, sending big hugs...

TPPJ

Mary, there is nothing wrong w/opting for no reconstruction.  Sometimes it's best to go w/your gut instincts.  My gut told me to not go for symmetry or any other surgery.  Then, when the DH lost his job I felt like I had to hurry up and do it all.  Look where it got me.  Now, I am not going for symmetry or nipple re-con on my newbie.  I could care less.  if anyone did care, I'd grab a Sharpie.

As most of you know, we are EMPLOYED again.  So excited.  It's surreal.  Thanks for all the good wishes.

Deb, very nice new pic!  Hair to the ears IS exciting.  I just reached the hair in the eyes milestone...if I flatiron the front.    It feels good.

viddie

Hi all,

Thanks for everyone’s well wishes for my mom. It worked.

My mom is doing much better. I am so glad we made the decision to take her to the hospital. She is feeling much better and the hospital has been taking very good care of her. They ran every conceivable test, ex-rays, etc. and will not release her until she is cured. We were concerned because has congestive heart disease and her breathing was impaired. She is now on lasix and oxygen. She is supposed to take lasix, but skips it too often because it makes her incontinent at times. She will not wear an adult diaper, so it is difficult. We are always telling her to take it anyway because she could get chf, but she is very feisty. Her mind is 100% but her body is not. It is hard to see her age. She will probably stay in the hospital over the weekend and get released on Monday. My sister will take her home. At least she is much better so I can relax while I am away.

Mel,

Sounds like something I would do. Am glad you are back on track and found the problem.



Mary,

I hope your dh feels better soon. I am also getting my hair colored and shaped tomorrow,

I think it would be all right to send her a card at her house since she confided in you. Good for you for telling your boss how you feel.

Tina,

Congratulations again. I am so happy for Paul and you.

Jan,

What did your surgeon tell you to do? You will be standing straight in no time. It seems to happen overnight.

Nancy,

Happy 50th!!!!

LOL about your sister and bil’s gift. Humor is good, especially on your special birthday and with all that crap happening. I hope you have a great day.

Rebecca,

You are so so sweet!!!!! And so thoughtful. I love you. Thanks so much.



My hands started trembling while I was on chemo. When I mentioned it to my onc, she as usual denied that it was a s/e. They still shake, but are getting better. You should treat yourself to a luxurious manicure- their massage is just heavenly. It will help a little, and feel so good.



Speaking of manicures, last year when I got sick, a friend of mine gave me a gift certificate to a spa. I finally went yesterday and got a pedicure. My toenails have been messed up since taking taxol. There is a gap between my skin and my toes, they are still discolored, and my big toenail hurts when I wear certain shoes. My pedicurist told me I had fungus growing in my toenails. Yuck!!!

All I could think of is that commercial about lamisil. The little critters under the toenails always grossed me out. She gave me an anti-fungal antibacterial solution made with tea tree oil and other ingredients and told me to use it twice a day.

I am sure I got this because of the chemo. When I showed my oncologist my toenails months ago, she once again ignored it.

I am wondering if any of you still have problems with your toenails, because if you do, it might be fungus caused by the chemo. When the nails were separating, it was perfect breeding ground. At least there are a few remedies. I will try the stuff she gave me first and if all else fails, I will call my pcp for an oral rx.



Love, Viddie

Robbin65

Today was my appointment to go over my Tamoxifen options.

My regular ono was not in this week and we had some Italian ono from some big city take over his clients today.

I battled heads with him for a while then at the end of our session we really liked each other.  I think it's cause we are both Italian...

Anyway, these are my 4 options:

1.  Retry Tamoxifen again but this time with benadryl for allergic itching relief.

2.  Have my ovaries removed...... Then take post menopause hormone blocker.

3.  Have my ovaries radiated......Then take post menopause hormone blocker.

4.  LHRH (which is I think a series of shots to repress my ovaries)......and then I can take Aremidex (spelling) or a post menopause hormone blocker.

What the.... You mean there is no other medication for women whom are still having periods???????????????????

Do I really want to mess with my body and have my ovaries taken out or radiated or suppressed by shots??????????

What am I going to do?

This is crazy.  Basically I am screwed!!!!  That's the bottom line.

I am going to try and take the Tamoxifen again this time with benadryl and see what happens.  If I am allergic and my body rejects it this time, I just don't know what to do.  I really don't want to mess with my body anymore.  Take my ovaries out and force my body to go into menopause???  I don't want to mess with mother nature.  My body is just now starting to go back to normal.

Help!!!

P/S:  Did you guys get your cards I sent you all???

jonimb

Hello Ta Ta's,

Robbyn I feel for you as I had the same choices to make, although I could not go back to Tamoxifen because of progression with my bone mets.  So for me it was get the Zoladex shots (Lupron I believe in the USA, to suppress your ovarian function), wait a month and then start Arimidex. 

On Feb 26^th I will be an official Arimidexian, with my 2^nd immunization booster of the Zoladex...then the following month my onc is going to beam me up for more scans.

Happy Birthday Nancy!!

Viddie have a wonderful holiday, and I'm glad to hear your Mom is doing better.  Viddie, I still have a bit of problems with my big toenails, but it's almost grown out.  My one toenail turned black and fell off. Yuck.  Viddie I am so glad for Meri, hope her friend gets accepted quickly.

Mary, I opted not to have any reconstruction right from the start, although I do wish I had had a bilateral mastectomy....be easier I think.

Debbie your new avatar is very upbeat!!  Glad you had fun with the hubby out on your luncheon.  Cindy what concert are you going to this weekend? 

Caya and Sharon, are you getting this cold weather.  We are due for another night and all day tomorrow of -35 or worse....I'm soooooooooooo sick of winter.

Jan, how are your drains doing?  I had a bit of bleeding for about 1 week after they took mine out, and they told me to use a bit of polysporin, just to make sure I didn't get any infection. 

Melia, hope you're keeping up with all the Valentine orders.  I love Valentine's Day.  It will also be Dan & mine 2^nd wedding anniversary.

Rebecca, ask your doctor about neuropathy.  Ask him if you can take some Vitamin B, as that might help you.

Mel, you should try to cut back on your work hours.

Skye, if you could make a copy of the Monster Quest that would be great.  By the way I'm bringing both your books to Las Vegas with me, so that you can autograph them for me...do you think you would?

I stopped taking that Oycodine.  I was going into a "lala" land and getting bad headaches from it.  I'm back on just advil....as I don't do well with the heavy duty drugs.

My sister (Janice) made me all my favorites today....raisin and walnut tarts, chocolate chip and macademia nut cookies and oatmeal and walnut cookies.  My oldest sister Jean Carole phones me everyday.  They are leaving for Phoenix sometime next week.  I sure hope I can go and meet them in March.

I ordered 4 new bras (1 black, 1 white, 1 cream & 1 raspberry) & a tankini brown & aqua blue from the U.K., and they arrived today.  They are all just beautiful....I love my tankini, and it fits really well.  We have a few stores here in Calgary that sell mastectomy bras and mastectomy swimsuits, but they aren't very sexy or even modern for that matter, so I went elsewhere.  The other thing is, once I converted from British pounds to Canadian dollars, it was cheaper than if I had bought them here.

Wishing you all a wonderful weekend....Stay Warm!!

Loving hugs....Joni

jonimb

Tina, the biggest of HUGS!!!  What a great day for your and your family. 

Love ya...Joni

Robbin65

Robbyn I feel for you as I had the same choices to make, although I could not go back to Tamoxifen because of progression with my bone mets.  So for me it was get the Zoladex shots (Lupron I believe in the USA, to suppress your ovarian function), wait a month and then start Arimidex. 

~

Joni,

OMG, I didn't know you had to do that.

So please, please tell me....  is it worth it?  What do I do?  The pros - The cons???  Side effects from the shots?

I am only 42.

I will try to find your email and email you.

jonimb

Robbyn,

I had my first zoladex shot on about the Jan 30...wasn't too bad.  They say that once I start the Arimidex that I will once again have the hot flushes like I did on Tamoxifen.  I can understand you not being in menopause, but I thought for sure I would have been.

I will be 53 in April, and I haven't had a period since Dec 2006, but they did the Estradiol and FSH tests on me, and they all indicate that I'm NOT menopausal.....so I was given similar options to you.

There was another girl on the Hormonal site that had the same reaction as you to Tamoxifen, did she pm you? 

Anyways, I wish you well in whatever decision you make, but if your cancer was fueled by estrogen, I would listen to that oncologist and consider the options if you have the reaction again to Tamoxifen.

Hugs to you in your decision making.

Joni

meliaanne

Hi All,

Tina, you must be floating on air!  So good to hear that things are beginning to turn around for you.

Skye, I don't know how you can stand all this waiting. That has been our challenge for a year and a half, though, I guess. We always fear the worst. My lymph glands in my neck were very achy for several days, and after fearing the worst, I came down with a nasty cold instead of cancer .... they do get sore before I get sick, but I didn't connect the dots this time. I haven't had a cold for a very long time and just didn't think of that as an option.

Joni, I am so hoping the rad will ease the pain so you can join your sisters. I didn't realize you were such a newlywed!

Viddie, glad your mom is better. You deserve a break.

Robyn, I can't advise you b/c I am post menopausal, but I do sympathise. Benedryl makes me dopey, so be careful if you drive.

Mary, I also wish I had done a bilateral, like Joni says, but I can't see having recon either. I totally support those who do, I just don't want the surgery and recovery. There is no hurry, though. If you decide in a year that you want it, then maybe you will be more inclined to have it done. We are just now sorta kinda getting back to normal.

Rebecca, you are an incredibly sweet and kind lady.

Anyone I forgot, love you too. I am off to work even though it's the weekend. My segment of the floral industry is wholesale, so our big rush is now to be sure all our customers are ready next week. It's a busy, annoying time but it will pretty much be over for us on Monday.

Hugs,

Melia

skyedivine

Robbin I don't envy your dilemma; how do you take Benadryl all the time without being drowsy? It would put me in a coma. I do believe you need to get rid of that estrogen one way or another like Joni said if you are ER+. I have non-cancer friends who had ovaries out at young ages for other reasons who have always been just fine without it and I don't really feel much diff myself since going menopausal last year.



Mary I agree you should support that attorney privately since you do know. She will probably need someone very much. And good for you on sticking to your guns re: Christmas vacation. How right you are!



Tina still breathing big sighs of relief for you and dh. My nephews raised in that area have both done very well. Lots of good opportunities.



Joni, you must get reduced shipping rates between Canada and the UK? I know shipping would be prohibitive from here. But anyway it sounds like you are set for poolside! Is your hip pain better?



I learned something last night; I was doing a google search on my radio show name to find out what lists, etc. had mentioned it and the 3rd item 2nd page was my mention of the name on this forum. Yikes! I was horrified. Now I need to go back and find that post and delete it. - Skye

Rebecca

Robbin I am so sorry you have to go through this…You are not screwed…it will work out.  I know that you are soooo not into forcing your body to give up its natural rhythms, and I hope it does not come to that for you.  There have been a few ladies lately that have posted about problems similar to yours on the Tamoxifen, and I remember reading that someone was able to control the problem by changing medication manufacturers…apparently there are several companies that make the meds, and I am sure that there is a bit of variation in the “inert” components so maybe you reacted to those rather than the drug itself.  Worth a mention or try I guess…better than taking benadryl (YUCK!).  Check your old pills if you can, and when you get your new script, ask the doc to specify a company, and mention it to the pharmacist.  Good luck, HUGS and feel better!

Happy birthday Nancy!  A walker, huh?  LOL so funny.  Glad you got a smile out of that one you sure could use one!  I hope that things are settling down and cleaning up for you.

Joni there is NOTHING nicer than a new bra these days!  I have been lurking through every lingerie dept that I can find lately in search of the magic undergarment that will make me look normal again (sigh).  My latest find actually fits really great, and looks pretty good….it is a “full coverage” underwire bra made from very stretchy  material that I got at Target.  It is not so pretty, but I do not get an empty tip in the cup, which is nice, but I really am not crazy about underwire and they get uncomfortable by the end of the day.  Ahhhh the price of beauty…… The worst part of it is finding one in my size….nobody seems to carry it.  Once I find the magic bra I will have to do some mail order, I think.

Viddie, ugh on the toenails…does it ever end?  My fingernails still look a bit funky, and last week I got one of those black dots under my nail like what I had during chemo GROOOOOOOOSSSSSSS.  I continue to be not impressed by your Onc…make sure you advocate for yourself!

Mary I agree with Tina, there is NOTHING wrong with choosing not to reconstruct.  It is a very personal choice, and there are many very good reasons why you would opt not to do it.  If you are comfortable physically and spiritually there is no reason to change things.  Feeling pressure from the choices that OTHERS have made is not the right reason to go through reconstruction…you do it for YOU.   Also, remember that you can change your mind in the future, you have not closed any doors…but once you have done the recon, you can not go back.  There is a website of women who have opted against recon…I think it is www.breastfree.org It is managed by a woman who posts here at BCO.

Tina congrats on your bangs!  Wow what a milestone.  How about a pic of your new haircut?  After your enthusiastic report I know that I have been dying to see it.  You guys doing anything special this weekend to celebrate the news?  I am so glad the wait is over and the stress is gone for you.  ….and using the cancer card to meet the prez?  LOL!

Nice new pic Debbie!

Mel I am glad that you figured out what happened regarding your pain.  With all the silly pills we have to take it is easy to get mixed up, I think.  I swear, they MULTIPLY.  Yeck.

OK, I have to head out for Saturday AM activities…Owen has gymnastics, and then back to prepare the house for the big sleepover tonight.  Everyone (female) is very excited about it, and Matt is trying to find a place to hide out with Owen during the festivities.  LOL.

Hugs to you all!

 

Nancyab

Mer, you aren't the only one without reconstruction. I had a bi-lateral and I still don't have the desire. I just couldn't bare the pain.

The clean up is underway again this morning. The cleaning crew got here at 10. We haven't had to leave the house, just co-habitating upstairs. I sleep on the floor and Jeff is in the only surviving chair.

My birthday was quiet. The kids were at work and Jeff and I went to dinner. Tonight were going to dinner at Flemings Steak and Wine. Laura works there so she is taking us on her discount, otherwise we would never eat there. Way out of my league.

I have not slept well in days, so most of yesterday when Laura was at work, I snuck into her bed and ahhhh napped several hours. I needed that. My body hurts so much from "hauling barges" so it seems. I don't have a muscle in my body that doesn't ache.

Haven't heard from Ins. but the water took out the phone line and I don't think they have the cell numbers. Will try to call the adjuster later after the cleaning people tell me what the situation is down there. The room is so destroyed and ugly, I feel like I could just walk away and never look back, but I know I can't throw in the towel.

This might be another problem too. I think my tooth extraction is infected. It gum around it is swollen and painful. I just can't deal with all this. 

Tina, so glad things have finally come together. You have been in "limbo" long enough. Ohio will miss you though.

I am frustrated to death with my kids. I know they have jobs, but they still live here and lifting a finger to help would be nice. But they always manage to not be around. I am pretty mad at them.

My step-son especially, I am so ready for him to be gone! I realize Laura has full time school and work, so not as angry at her, but she could try to help nonetheless, instead of going to the boyfriends in her free time. ARRGGG. Ok nuff bitchin, better get to work so I can get back to "normal". By the way, what is that again? 

skyedivine

Nancy you sound exhausted! Any chance you and dh can go somewhere relaxing like a motel stay for a night? I'm chuckling in sympathy over the kids being there. I have to say it; at least yours have jobs! Mine still does not and is always here, although he can be very helpful at times when I really need it. He is waiting for his first sub teaching call now and has an interview to be a school photographer on Monday. He has applied everywhere, even Wal-Mart, and just can't get a callback. He's close to depression (girlfriend broke up with him too) and his dad and I are just so frustrated. It adds to my feeling close to the breaking point over the scan coming this week. I can't help thinking about the possibility of going back on chemo, which is what the onc said will happen if it isn't benign. I'm slowly but steadily losing weight over the past month despite the fact I haven't felt up to exercising lately, and I seem to get tired so fast again that I'm worried it is malignant after all. After all, the last time I went through this, I was also hoping for benign but got HER2+ instead. As they say, reality bites. Sorry to sound like such a downer but it does help to put it out in the open. Now I can get over it or at least put it aside again for a while. Thanks for listening as always - Skye

meliaanne

Skye, I can tell you are getting discouraged. Try to hang in there til you get your test results. Weekends are so hard because we can't talk to the doctors. We are all by your side.

Rebecca

Keep the faith Skye...hang in there.

we are all around you holding you steady.

HUGS 

Lynn12

Hi Ta Ta's,

Sorry I've been ingognito the past few days...it's been quite a week.  I ended up in the office 4 days this week and doing tons of driving in the crappy weather we're having.  I still have this nasty cold and now I have a bad cough with it as well. 

We had our annual Winter Party on Thursday night.  I must say, the company put on a nice evening.  It was at the Top Of The Hub, which is the top floor of the Prudential building in downtown Boston.  We had the floor right below the restaurant.  Open bar all evening and fabulous food and music.  The dress code was 'cocktail attire'.  It was so nice to see everyone dressed up.  Our dress code in the office is casual, so this was a few steps up from that. 

I also had my PS appt. yesterday. We talked about stage II surgery which I now have scheduled for April 17.  Of all the doctors I've seen in the past year or so, I think I like my PS the best and I think he is the most competent as well.  The appt. went great.  As far as I'm concerned, I'm just thrilled I have 2 breasts, but he, being a plastic surgeon (who tend to be perfectionists) knows there are things to be fixed. 

Fix the crease in my right breast by moving the incision (not sure how he does that)

Lift the left breast and make it rounder.

Make a nipple on the left breast.

Fix the dog ears at my hips

Lipo to my hips and belly (above the belly button)

Use the fat from the lipo to inject into my right breast to make it bigger to match the left.

Fix my ugly port scar.

So I'll most likely walk out with only one nipple.  He would rather wait on the 2nd nipple because we are doing a lift on the left breast and then the breast needs to settle.  Once the left breast is settled, he'll make the nipple on the right side to line up with the left.  If we did both nipples at once, there is a chance they wouldn't line up.

He also said he would take care of my tatoos from radiation, but I only had 2 and they don't bother me.

I asked about some additional lipo, since I'll already be in surgery.    There is only so much he can get to go through insurance.  I asked him how much it would cost.  He said there will be a stage III surgery for the tatooing.  We'll most likely need one more injection of fat into the right breast since only about 50% of the fat stays, the rest is absorbed by your body. So he would rather wait until stage III to see if we can get it paid by insurance.

He is so committed to making me look as best as he can.  I love that!

Anyway, that is probably more detail than you really need, but I'm just so thrilled with him and am excited to see how things look after stage II.  He said the most discomfort I will have is from the lipo. HAH! 

Now I need to go read what's going on with everyone.  Happy Saturday!

love and hugs,

Lynn

Lynn12

Skye, it's normal to get anxious about your scan. Big hugs, hang in there!

luckymel

Mary, I agree with Tina - nothing at all wrong with not doing reconstruction now, or ever, if that's what your gut is telling you. If you change your mind later, the option will still be open. Lots of people are very happy with their decision not to do it.

Tina, a SHARPIE???? You crack me up! However, if you were artistic.....might work, now that I think about it.

Debbie, nice new photo. You are really good about taking pictures to document your progress. The last one I took was when I had 1/4" of hair. I hate the way I look in photos - I look like some 57 year old bc survivor, instead of a supermodel, darn it.

We weren't busy at work yesterday, so we were comparing knees . Two people are currently having knee surgery, another couple have recently fallen on their knees. When they saw mine, they suggested I go see one of the orthopedic doctors...so I did. I got x-rays, and the good news is I didn't fracture my kneecap. The bursa is just full of fluid now, so I got a neoprene sleeve to wear, and instructions to stay off the elliptical machine until things are better. The compression sleeve is to force the fluid out of the bursa, and to support the knee, and it does feel good. He offered me more pain meds...I said no thanks! I alwas thankful to be able to leave work, walk across the parking lot to see the doc, who had worked me in, and go back to work with the problem solved , all in 45 minutes - sometimes things just work.

Ok, the above is my post from last night, that I went to sleep over...just read everything from this morning, and I'll start a new post to reply to the new news, I guess.

luckymel

Lynn, I loved the details of what your PS has planned for your stage 2.  He really does sound like he is committed to making you look your very best, and April 17 will be here before you know it.  You're going to look so good!  I believe my PS will be the same way - she is known as a perfectionist.  I absolutely can't wait to get my reconstruction underway.  Do you, or can you, go braless?  I'd love to be able to do that.  Hope your cold clears up soon - sounds like you're in the worst stage now.

luckymel

Skye, I'm sure you are feeling the effects of all this waiting.  You're exhausted, coping skills are wearing thin, and the scary, negative thoughts are eating away at you.  No wonder you're losing weight and feeling tired.  It doesn't mean you have mets.  You're probably tired from worrying (while pretending to be optimistic), not sleeping well, and not exercising.  Yes, reality bites, sometimes, but just hang on until Tuesday (and then insist on an immediate report of the results).  I hope by putting your negative feelings out there that you are able to put them aside.  We will all be glad to worry for you, if you would be willing to delegate that task.  And remember, we are all standing around you, holding you in a giant group hug, and visualizing a report which says "BENIGN." 

Caya

Skye - not knowing can drive you crazy - that anxiety is making you tired, and you are probably not eating well, so that is why you are losing weight .... (Dr. Caya has it all figured out)...

Hang in there sweetie, we are all right there with you.

Lynn - Wow - that PS sounds amazing.  You are so brave doing all that.  I am waffling about doing reconstruction, but if I do it will most likely be with an implant, I just don't think I can go through a huge surgery like DIEP (although I would love the tummy tuck).  Also the  DIEP PS I saw does not think I have enough belly fat left now, because when I had the breast reduction I also had some lipo done on my tummy and thighs, and my PS sucked out alot of fat.  Who knew I might someday need it for a new boob?  OY!!

Melia - I'm sure by the end of this week you would be happy to never see another rose again. 

Nancy - I hear you about the kids, they are so spoiled these days.  But maybe they just don't realize the extent of the mess and your fatigue - why don't you ask your daughter to bring her boyfriend over to help?  Enjoy your fancy dinner tonight, you certainly deserve it.

Rebecca - good luck tonight with the hen sleepover.  You realize of course there will not be alot of actual "sleeping."

Viddie - so glad your mother has rallied.  Yes it's difficult when the mind is sharp but the body is weak.  Enjoy your holiday.

Robbin, I agree with the others.  Do whatever you have to in order to block that estrogen. 

Mel - glad you did not fracture your kneecap, it sounds like time will take care of it.

Have a great Saturday everyone.

luckymel

Nancy, glad to hear from you. I hope you have a wonderful dinner out tonight, and have a nice big glass of wine. I didn't realize your kids were still at home - but I say, if they're living there, they need to be helping you with the work right now. I try to think back to when I lived with my parents, and I like to think I'd have pitched in. I don't know if kids are different now, but I suspect they are. Anyway, yours need shaking right now - they should be there helping you! Please call your oral surgeon or dentist, and get something for that tooth. You don't want to end up with a big abscess. They can call you something in to the pharmacy, no need to wait until Monday. Glad you at least got a good nap. Maybe you could get one of those inflatable mattresses for you and Jeff to sleep on, if insurance won't send you to a hotel. My mom has one, and it's quite comfortable when we sleep there. They are inexpensive, if you shop around. Anyway, big hugs to you, and happy day after 50th. I love your Geezerville comment, although 50 is not geezer.

Viddie, I still have funky toenails - I'm too embarrassed to go get a pedicure. My big toenail that fell off has grown back, but now looks like it might have fungus, just like yours. The other one, that didn't fall off, is really odd-looking now. The old toenail is still there, stuck to the end of a new toenail that has grown out to more than halfway up the nailbed. So I have half a regular toenail, and half a two-layer toenail. It won't come off, and looks terrible. Who knows what's growing under that mess. I hate those Lamisil commercials, btw - I refuse to look at them, and always mute them. I find them really offensive and annoying. So...if I have nail fungus, I'll not be using Lamisil! I doubt the tea tree old stuff will help you, if you really have fungus. I'd check with your pcp, or dermatologist. I'm very glad your mom is better and being well cared for. At her age, things like that are worrisome, but it sounds like you'll be able to enjoy your trip after all. Will you be able to check in with us? We would really miss you if you were gone for two weeks - really.

Joni, did you try taking just half an oxycodone tablet, maybe with an advil? I hate for you to put up with pain, but understand not wanting to be in lala land all the time. There are other options, too, besides the oxycodone, that might not make you feel so drugged. Your sister Janice really outdid herself, making you all your favorites - sounds so good. Did Thor get a cookie?

Robbin, I sympathize with you in not wanting to mess with your body anymore, or suppress it's natural rhythms. However, you had breast cancer, ER+. Therefore, you are going to have to do something to suppress that estrogen, even if none of the options are palatable. I hope you can tolerate the Tamoxifen along with Benadryl - and whoever suggested trying a different brand of Tamoxifen had a good idea. But, if that doesn't work, you MUST choose one of the other options. You have to suppress that estrogen somehow. Since I'm triple negative, I haven't had to deal with that issue, but I can say that years ago, when I was in my 30's, in a research study, I took the injections that suppress your ovaries (Lupron). It was really no problem. I had hot flashes, but otherwise, I felt fine. Actually, better than fine - it totally did away with all my PMS, all the pain with periods, the mood swings, everything. I loved it, and was sorry when the study ended and I was back to "normal." So, keep that in mind when you are choosing. When you lose your ovaries, it isn't all bad. You will still be you. And yes, I got your Christmas card, and treasure it.

Ok, better get on with my day. Have I said lately how much I love you all?

TPPJ

Skye, hang in there.  The stress alone of worry is reason enough for being tired.  And you've had kind of relentless string of days like this w/no answers....more like weeks.  Take that into account.  It's bound to wear you down.  Someone here said (Melia?) that their lymph nodes were swollen and they were worried but it turned out to be a precursor to a cold.  I remember my onco. telling me:  You're still YOU.  When you get sick, your lymph nodes will still swell...  Made sense to me.  We can't assume the worst.  (I'm SUCH a good advice giver!    But again, I remind us that "we are not in control".  We are in control of enjoying each day, so we need to try and do that.

Robbin, I think your fear of menopause will be far less than the fear of cancer or dying of it.  You're right:  you are only 42, as am I, and you've gotta do what you have to do.  Try to think of it in another way....say you were faced with losing a limb or something.  If it were live or die, you'd do it.  (God, would that be hard.)  Menopause, induced or not, is inevitable, and the peace of mind you're gonna get is worth it.  You will live to see your grandchildren.

viddie

Hi all,

Mel,

I had a feeling tea tree oil might not help, but it feels nice. I have to wait until I get back anyway until I see a real doctor. In the meantime the mess is covered up with nail polish. I figure that if I have had it for a long time, two more weeks will not matter. I am glad you went to an orthopedic doctor who diagnosed your knee problem and who had a great solution. You can finally get some relief.

Caya,

“when I had the breast reduction I also had some lipo done on my tummy and thighs, and my PS sucked out alot of fat. Who knew I might someday need it for a new boob? OY!!”

LOL- You are too funny!!!

Lynn,

It sounds like Dr. Lee is taking excellent care of you. He is a sweetie.

Skye,

Lots of hugs. It is okay to let it all out. We are here to listen and to help in any way we can. We also are great at worrying for you. I agree with Mel, Caya and Tina, that all this stress and waiting is the cause of your weight loss and fatigue. The waiting is always the hardest part. I hope you can get your results asap. You deserve that after all they put you through. If I recall with your last scare, your onc was pessimistic. Listen to us, not him. You will be fine and it will be B9. He was wrong the last time, and he will be wrong again.

Nancy,

Hugs to you too. Please hang in there. This all is so not fair. Your kids should help. Did you or Jeff ask them? Sometimes kids need a match lit under them to make them see the light. Please call the dentist about your tooth. They have emergency office hours. I hope you had a wonderful dinner tonight. You deserve it.



We are leaving tomorrow. Ed is bringing his laptop, but we are not sure what kind of service we will have in the condo- probably only dial-up. There is wi-fi in the clubhouse and near the pool. One computer- two people. OY! If I am able to go online, I will say hi. If not, I will catch up when I return. Have a great month everyone.

Skye, I will be thinking B9 on Tuesday. Good luck.



Love, Viddie

TPPJ

Viddie, you are gone for a month?  Wow!  Enjoy!

Guys, just wanted to chime in on tea tree oil.  About six months ago I either read or saw on TV a special on this bizarre condition that affects teenaged boys, called gynocomastia.  They actually develop breasts.  Anyway, in approx. 9 cases, the boys went from totally flat chested to having breasts in about a three month period.  The common culprit was a new shampoo they used that contained lavendar and tea tree oils.  I guess both act as a natural estrogen.  For the most part, I am very skeptical when I hear these things, but this was from a reputable source and I figured if these "natural" things can do that much damage in such a short period of time, they might not be good for us either.  I threw out my shampoos, products that had those ingredients.