please help

Dear and precious Sue, what can I say? I have not suffered like this so I feel inadequate to give comfort. I am so far away and you need someone there who you know understands. Please, please get help. Ask your dr to give you a stronger dose antidepressants. Is there anyone that you can talk to nearby? Wren, bless her, gave you some leads - I so hope they are helpful. All I can say is that I love you and that you are precious. I was thinking so strongly about you today as I was driving past the lake and the sun was sparkling on the water - it just made me think of you because it looked so beautiful and I thought of a beautiful person: ((((((((((Sue)))))))))). Please don't give up.

Ulla's husband - what a wonderful man! Thank you for posting about our dear Ulla. What a great gift to give her - a new laptop! I can't wait to hear from her again.

((((((((((Lisa))))))))) - I forgot about your computer being down and was starting to worry. Thank you so much for posting. So great to know that you are doing ok. It's going to be exciting to hear about your new 'girl' and the lifted one as they heal up and progress to their full beauty!

Wren  - gentle ((())))s to you as you recover from your fill. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. I hope it gets better soon. All you women who have recons - you are so brave. I don't think I can do it! 

Karen, you have been through so much too and now you have another surgery next week as well as rads soon. No wonder you feel down, tired and struggling at times yet you, like the other wonderful women here, keep on encouraging everyone. You are a such a sweet thing and am sending you my warmest thoughts and love.

Hugs also to AE, Shirlann, Angie, Valsul, Barbie, Karyll, Sheila, Melody, Tender, Pearl, Tender and Mia and everyone.

Love,

Jane  xxxx

Sheila - Congrats on getting thru the tattoo'ing.  Now you will have to try getting a "real" one!!!

AE

Sheila, It depends on where you get them.  Mine are across my upper back and they didn't hurt that much.

AE 

We know that this isn't who you really are, Sue.  This stupid disease gets the best of all of us at times.  I'd hate to think what I'd be like if it wasn't for the "happy" pills.  My onc has switched me from Lexapro to Effexor to help with my night sweats.  They're definitely helping with that, but not so well with the depression.  I've been very weepy and sad.  Not so much for myself, but for my dad.  He had heart surgery seven years ago and suffers from congestive heart failure.  His health has declined dramatically in recent months.  I can't help but think it's caused by the stress of my bc.  There isn't anything more they can do for him at this point, so it's a waiting game.  It's very stressful.  Damn bootface!!!  I hate it that it's effected him this way.

Have a restful day off, Sue.  You must be exhausted.  Have the shingles started to clear up yet?  Things will get better, sweetheart.  You'll return to the fun-loving, feisty, beautiful girl we've all come to love.  She never left--she's just been through a lot of trauma.

Love and hugs,

Karen

Sue, you will make it through this trial of bootface! you are such a strong person. Don't worry about how messed up your posts are, we know where you are coming from and understand completely.

I watched my aunt at 38 fighting ovarian cancer, unfortunately, they did not know where her primary cancer was until after she died. My Grandma thought that because my aunt died, my mom would die from her BC when she was dx in 2001. Mom took Grandma's face in her hands and said "They have removed my cancer, they could not find Arlene's, only treat the mets. I am not Arlene but I will fight like she did." Grandma has understood more about mine and not suggested that I was going to die. The memories do come back about Arlene and her struggles. I just do all I can to honor her memory and fight like a girl.

Sheila

Jane, that is just why I have done the whole thing. I have always done for others, I thought I will do something for myself, I figured that I am only 47 and I have a lot of living to do. Anyway, they say that the tattoos distract the eye from the horizontal scars that cross my chest. I will wait and see after they stop ozzing. My hubby will be home Saturday which is the day I can keep them uncovered, he won't see how gross they look now. Right now I have some wet gauze to put on the tattoo area then the dry gauze pads over the top, I am only wearing a bra now to hold the gauze in place, I don't want tape on the boob for the next 3 days.

Sheila

Sue as Lisa said recon is available to you even with rads. I have met a woman on this board who is originally from Lenoir (where I live) but now living in Colorado. She had BC 5 yrs ago and did chemo and rads then and is now going through recon and she seems to be doing well. She is planning on coming back east sometime this spring and we will meet then. She attended the local high school where the organist at church teaches math and he remembers her.

My mom had her single mast done in 2001 and did not have recon done, It is a personal decision.

Just remember all the trials that Dorothy had going down the yellow brick road but she kept going. Keep going down the yellow brick road where we will all meet in OZ.

Sheila

I almost forgot......................

Hey Sue, thanks for the info on AE.  Her birthday was June 4th.  Mine is June 7th!!!!  How do you like that!!!

I just love that movie..............

Are you wrapped in your afghan???

AE 

I also thought about doing the bilat mast for 6 months prior to my actual dx of DCIS. So I had plenty of time to think about what I was comfortable with doing. When I had the second biopsy done within 18 months that showed ADH, my surgeon suggested that I think about going through with preventive mast and to let him know on my next appointment. Unfortunately I failed the 6 mo mammo and the biopsy that time showed DCIS. I could not see myself without some type of reconstruction. I am glad that I have not had any problems with my surgeries like some of the women on this site.

Happy V-Day to all.

Sheila