Why do husbands make a woman crazy sometimes?!?!
Comments
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my husband hates it if i ask him questions about ANYTHING. it drives me CRAZY.
Example: if he's talked to my son on the phone and i ask him more than 3 questions about the conversation, he starts to get testy and tell me he's already told me everything. then later something important from the conversation will come up that he hadn't told me and i'll say, "You never told me that," and he'll say, "You didn't ask." This happens on a regular basis.
If you cross over his 3-question rule, you're on his list. How stupid is that?
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Hillarious, my Dh never throws away receipts!!
He leaves drawers open?
Never pushes a chair in after exiting the table.
Will put dirty dishes in the dishwasher but leave the stove a mess and with some pans!
He leaves his snow boots in the way.
Once I let a roll of toliet paper sit there to see if he would change it. Never touched it! hopefully to put in on the roll!
Sometimes I will leave something on the floor to see if he will pick it up!
He does...
get the snow out of the driveway
take out the trash
take the dog for a walk
put the boys to bed
give the boys a bath
read to the boys
and never says a word when I plan a girls night.
=0)
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my husband does all the grocery shopping and usually has a surprise that he's picked up for me during the day waiting for me when i get home...he also does all our errands for us. he doesn't mind running around. but that doesn't make up for his 3-question rule anymore. i'd rather be able to ask him more than 3 questions, if it's needed, and not get attitude.
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LMAO janis- that you leave something to see if he'll pick it up. I will sometimes leave the tissue holder empty to see if he'll put a new box in, but I know the answer. it's NOT GONNA HAPPEN.
So here's my vent for the week:
I clean the bathroom every week. He does the trash, I clean the bathroom-- that's the way it is. I was SUPER busy over the weekend, and he was like, (after I was already in full cleaning gear- had everything out of the bathroom, and all the cleaning supplies ready to go) babe, I'll do it. It's okay, you can leave it for me. I can clean it.
I just slugged it off, and went about my cleaning. If he really wanted to do it, he would've done so hours earlier.
Later on, we had words about something totally unrelated, and of course it came up, and he says, You don't even do a good job. There's been mold in the bathroom for two weeks.
Well, I can't contain myself. First, b/c there's no way mold could be in my bathroom. I'm a freakin germaphobe!!! And, I keep an IMMACULATE home.
Of course I get all psycho, like I love to do, and say,
well, last time I checked you f*cking live here too, so if you saw something that I missed, don't you think you should pick up the 409 and clean it???
then I storm into the bathroom screaming, show me the mold...
to which he points out a spot on the top shelf of the shower (that I'm too short to see) and on it, is a black spot from my dark brown hair glaze which deposits color into my hair after I condition it. I use it once a month.
I'm glad I was able to laugh it off.
I could never play the silent treatment game, even if I got paid. I pretty much tell it like it is, to a fault sometimes. I'm more of the blowup type, and then as soon as it's over, I forget it ever happened.
Maybe it's cause I'm still in "new" love... but whenever we do fight, and make up, or apologize we always hug. I know it sounds silly, but we look at each other and say, Time to hug it out. And then its over.... much easier to end it that way.
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" I surely hope your statement wasn't a gay swipe."
Amy, I should ignore this statement. However, I'm not.
I hope by now that you would know me enough that I would not make that kind of statement because you are gay. I hope you know (if you don't, I'm telling you now) that I respect whatever lifestyle you choose. I am not a "gay hater." You are just as human as I am. You have feelings. You bleed red. You get breast cancer. You are a woman. You are my bc sister no matter how we think differently.
If I didn't care about you feelings I would probably ignore you. I sincerely think you are politically wrong
but that's another forum.I feel like I'm a "bigger" (well, that's just not figurative, but most likey true
) person than to make snide remarks like you suggested I may have made, and ultimately hurt your feelings. However, I probably wouldn't hurt your feelings even if I meant that comment to be what you suggested. I think you've been able to stand up for yourself.Sooooo, the answer is NO!
Shirley
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Now, Amy, I wanted to say that we don't generalize all men and all women and lump then into the same box. However, many men are just not taught to be sensitive. I can say one of my SILs is wonderful and sensitive to my DD. They have the BEST relationship. They've been together since they were sixteen, and, as you know, many times this long time relationship does not always work out. They are the ones traveling through Africa and God only knows where else. He calls her "Bud." I heard that from him several times during their visit. I thought that was such a great description of their relationship.
Now my other SIL...he's fine, but not anything like the other one. He's a good man, but has a different personality. In some ways we think of him like my DH. My DD says, Mom, I married my dad. LOL
But we women are just generalizing for the fun of it. And some of the things you are reading about is true, but we can make fun and games out of it..better to laugh that scream!
So, Amy, don't take everything we say so seriously. Hmmm..I haven't gotten past your post so, I might read something totally different than what I just wrote. The delete buttom comes in handy.
Shirley
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well, I must say, Obama has definitely found his momentum.
We'll see what happens next. March 4th is a big day...
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I love the 3 question limit! LMAO!
Greg does the same thing, but with him (and Daniel now, too), if I ask too many questions, he just glazes.....his eyes kind of cloud over,and I can see either one of them looking at me, but not REALLY at me. They just get overloaded!
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I think that generalizations about any group are really not fair, but when i read a thread like this and realize that my husband shares absolutely IDENTICAL traits with the majority of the hubbies referred to in this thread, i wonder if there isn't some truth to some generalizations. I think that with these men, the fact of having testosterone and also their upbringing in a male-dominated world has created very similar behaviors in them. If the shoe fits........
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My dh was brought up by a man who WORE the pants in the family. Momma never disagreed with him in front of the children. And I mean when he punished them by restricting or whatever, he did what he said he'd do. He was extremely consistent. My dh and he always bucked heads. Instead of my dh finishing college he joined the Air Force to get away from his dad. He told his dad, You'll never take anything away from me again.
We need to be consistent, but not like this man. Even as adults we would "cater" to them. His father was NEVER wrong. My MIL "tolerated" him. My DH showed his brothers what NOT to do. LOL
So, yes, the environment we grow up in certainly plays a big roll in how we deal with life. All my parents EVER did was yell at each other every night.
Shirley
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yes, Shirley you make the point very well. Men are, more often than not, catered too in their families. My parents were very obvious about preferring my brother (15 months younger than me) over me because he was a male. He was the "Golden Boy" who could do no wrong. The set of Brittanica Encyclopedias were bought for him--he was the owner-- and i was "allowed" to use them. My grandparents who were born in Europe would come visit and would offer him money to NOT ride his bike while they were visiting, so that nothing bad would happen to him, yet they never offered me any money to not ride my bike. It sounds awful, but i was raised with the notion that boys are more important than girls. I was offended by this even as a young girl, and all it did was turn me into a flaming feminist during the 3rd wave of the feminist movement in the 60's and 70's.
We are all living in a male-dominated world and men enjoy "male privilege". This gets learned in families and goes on in all aspects of our society. I think that men believe that someone will come and clean up their messes, and it is NOT their job. I just don't understand that attitude at all.
celia
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Crap! I have to little boys whom I adore, how do I raise them right not to have the traits we depise!
Janis
lol
I will show them how to hang toliet paper tonight!
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Janis:
My son, 29, turned out pretty good. From the time he was little, my mantra to him was "be easy to be around." He told me he thinks about that a lot and it has served him well.
Your kids are adorable, btw.
Take care-
Patrice
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Here is another one....
I put my dh's clothes in a laundry basket after I fold them, and leave them for him to put away (we prefer it that way-I hate the way he'd put mine away, he hates the way I'd put his away).
Well, he dutifully put his clothes away like a good boy, and then PUT THE EMPTY LAUNDRY BASKET ON MY SIDE OF THE BED!!!!!!! Did he put it back in the basement where it belongs??! NO!
When I asked him why, he said, "Well, I thought you might want to put some clothes in it....."WRONG!!!!
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thought you might want to put some clothes in it.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH lmao...
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I've been posting Maxine on other threads. I love Maxine. So, here's one for us women!
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men are like government bonds.... they take forever to mature.
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So true Beth, but they are a rock solid investment, and give a good return, even if it drives you crazy to clip off all those little coupons!
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that reminds me of a story. several years ago, on the first night of a cruise, my husband and i were meeting our dinner table mates for the first time. among our group was a couple who had been married the day before. my husband started to tell a joke that i thought would be really inappropriate, i shot him "my look," and he immediately shut up.
the bride looked at me in wonderment and said: "Wow. How long did it take you to teach him that?"
The whole table really laughed because she was so sincere when she said it.
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"be easy to be around" - I love that. Will have to try to drill that into my kids!
Had DS folding laundry last night (and carting it upstairs all day.) Am trying to get him trained for the next woman in his life!
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I am the only female child in my family; I grew up with 3 older brothers. I am now married with 3 boys--no girls, unless you count the cats. ;o)
I can say, with some authority, that testosterone causes selective blindness and poor problem-solving abilities. None of my brothers, my husband, nor my children can find anything in the refrigerator if they must first move the milk out of the way.
It causes selective deafness, too. I know if I want my dh to really hear what I'm about to tell him I just need to start the sentence by saying, "I'm horny. (By the way, the trash needs to go out.)" Not that the trash goes out, mind you...
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Deb,
I used to get the silent treatment when dh was upset with me. We have a blended family and there were times I felt like I was walking on egg shells. There were times I was so upset that I laid awake most of the night upset that he wasn't talking to me and then I went to work the next day. I was just making myself sick. I was going to get out of the marriage but he wanted to make it work. Since then I've gotten to the point that if he isn't talking to me, too bad for him as I just don't care and do about my business. He can be moody at times so there might be times where he just doesn't talk. However, he had gotten over that in years that we've been married. He has been the best husband since I've had 2 major surgeries since Dec. He is more caring and will just call home to see how my appts went or to see how I'm feeling. A complete different side then many years ago. Like someone said they are MEN!! I need your organizer!!
Grannie/Rose
in Central Indiana
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Love your posting of Maxine, I love her too!
Grannie
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Karilynn:
The other thing I tried to teach him was that class isn't measured by the size of one's bank account but, rather, one's compassion & ability to make those around them feel comfortable, which is along the same lines.
He grew up surrounded by some difficult people whom you always had to walk on egg shells around. What a b.s. personality trait that is.
p.s. i sure am glad i was born a girl. i think we're nicer by nature and have more common sense, generally. plus, look how we bond. imagine conversations like this on a prostate cancer board.
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Interesting thread. I do believe that men have a secret club and when they are born (sorry Janis!) they sign in blood and then they have to act like they do.
My girlfriend and I decided that our husbands must be twins in another life because they are so identically "male".
There was a talk show on last night here in Israel about how men might get phased out and we are coming closer to this. They said that at first women had no rights and men did everything. Women stayed at home and made babies, etc. Then, in more recent years, women started careers and were doing more things outside of the home so that men were needed to do more things inside the home as well as their own work (not my husband but he's from Mars). And today..women are taking over and more and more men are taking care of their kids full time. Women go to work and men get maternity leave. More and more women in government and we are close to having a woman president in the US (maybe yes, maybe no..but it's still very close). So, the question that was posed was.."Do we need men in this world?"
I say yes. I love men. My husband can drive a person to drink, but I love him and feel good with him and feel secure with him. He adds a dimension (also literally..piles of coats and papers at front door..WHY????) to my life that I wouldn't get with a woman (this is not against lesbianism..just a perspective on men in general). He views things differently. He comes from a "fix it" gender and I come from a "let's figure out the root of the problem first" gender. And this is why we fit so well. It gets fixed and we still get to figure out the reason it broke.
When I was in treatment, he was there to "fix" things. He took charge..he set up my appointments when I was too overwhelmed to think about it, he made sure I had what I needed, came with me to all my appointments, treatments, etc...he was the "doer" cuz that's how most men support their wives..by doing. We get our emotional support from our moms and girlfriends.
I've learned that.
It's what makes life interesting...and okay...fine..I admit...a bit messy and less time with the remote.
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HeeHee. I just love reading all about your husbands. I'm sorry, but there is so much similarity, it cannot be a coincidence.
Okay, isn't it funny how they all seem to think we ALL wish we had peckers? Forgive my French.
And the shower dance? Does your husband do that little jig after coming out of the bathroom, naked, after a shower? Come on girls, confess.
Here's a tip. It took me a long, long time to realize I could de-fuse my DH by just telling him that the guilt thing isn't working and if he wants to play that game, go play it with Mummy. Ow, hitting below the belt, I know, but if it works...............
Tina
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Tina:
If you're talking about the woo-woo dance, then, yes, I know that dance well. LOL.
Patrice
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Shirley,
I have to comment on sticking up for yourself with Amy's comment "was that a gay swipe?" What the heck was she refering to? Maybe she is to sensitive to her life stye. And Amy if you read this think about that!
Amy, you make some good points on human behavior and considering others points of view, but you did seem a little to sensitive to whatever you were referring to in Shirley's comments.
Was it pouter, that I took as her computer?
I am so confused to where the possible swipe was?
Girls we are not here to pick on one another life style or anything else. We are here to be supportive and learn from each others experiences and vent from time to time!
Can't we all just get along!!LOL!
Always liked that saying use it on my 5 kids quite often!
Daniella
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Ha!! Badboob! LMAO-I love what you say about the fridge. I tease Greg about that all the time. If there is only ketchup and milk in the fridge, he will stand in front of the open door for an hour and sheepishly go, "where is the milk?"
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Ladies, I just posted elsewhere and had to go get my inhaler after someting my ds just said. It kicked up my asthma again today. Had a bad day with it, I posted on the Dreamers thread about it if you want to read it.
I saw this thread and felt compelled to read it. My 1st husband was the "Golden Boy" who could do no wrong. He never accepted responsibility for anything. One January, we had a MAJOR snowstorm. His grandfather's funeral was scheduled for that morning. I stayed home with ds because he was only 6 months old. I tried to shovel the drive as much as I could. Well, it was so bad, he had to abandon the car 3 blocks away from the house. When he got in, he dusted off and asked why the drive wasn't shoveled out. OK, that was one reason why we divorced. Won't go into more or else it will be ME exceedign bandwidth.
My 2nd husband is so different. In fact, the 1st one is afraid of him. But when I read about the clothes in the basket, I had to add this one.
We do the same thing with clothes. He hates the way I put away his stuff. I don't care too much. When we got married, he moved in with me, ds and my mom. It has been fine, no problems. As a matter of fact, ds is learning how to be a good person how to treat women right from him, not my ex. But I digress. We have a wonderful and large wicker hamper in the bathroom. It is big enough to hold a week's worth of 2 people's wash. But, there was always dirty clothing on HIS side of the bed. I got tired of either asking him to pick up or doing it myself.
I got one of those net hampers that can fold up from the dollar store. It is right there, where he tosses his clothes. Now the pile of clothes is next to the hamper in our room! Good thing I feel lousy these days with my expanders and take effexor or I would explode!
With a 2nd marriage, I found a man without all of the traits I hated in my 1st one. Who knew there would be other things that irk me! But nothing bad enough taht we haven't worked out. My mother always told me that she and my dad never went to bed angry at each other. They wound up staying up all night sometimes! But that is good advice to keep.
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