Why do husbands make a woman crazy sometimes?!?!

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Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
Why do husbands make a woman crazy sometimes?!?!
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    My husband says, "Sure, I'll go pick up our son from Gramma 'Nita's house an hour away after I get off of work which is usually late when I'm tired," after I asked him repeatedly if he was ok with doing that (I have company here and wanted Daniel to be somewhere where he would have fun and not be bored).  He said, "YES!" 

    The company I have over here is a professional organizer.   We had her organize our house after my tx. and she did a phenomenal job, staged our house so well it sold with the first showing, and is just an excellent person.  

    My hubby is jealous of how much I applaud her efforts and skills.  He doesn't like that she just swooped in and fixed 2.5 years of mess in just a few days time (it was probably a total of 10 days work).  He felt like he should have been superman and did it ALL himself while I was an invalid in recovery.  

    He says he doesn't like her (but admits that jealousy is the reason why). 

    So he came home last night, I was all excited to show him what we did all day, and he just scowled, and said, "What, all you did was re-arrange some stuff," and looked at me waiting for my angry reaction.  

    Well, of course he got it.  I didn't deserve that!  He also yelled all night long about how he didn't expect that he would have to sit in the car for 3 hours to get Daniel.  I was like, "Did you forget where Gramma 'Nita lives?!?!"  He just held a grudge and pouted all night.  

    So, he leaves this morning, and STILL isn't talking to me, because he is mad that he AGREED to have Organizer come her, despite my repeated, "Are you SURE??" He is mad that he AGREED to pick up our son, despite my repeated, "Are you SURE???" 

    Why do hubbies have to be so wonderful one day, then kinda suck all the life out of you the next??!?!?!?!?!?!?  

    PS-We have our 6 year anniversary of being together coming up next week.  Our 5 year anniversary of marriage is in April.   It's not like we've been married 40 years.  

  • Bren-2007
    Bren-2007 Member Posts: 6,241
    edited February 2008

    Easy answer ... they're men.

    More complicated answer ... could be anything, from a bad day at work to not wanting to spend the money on an organizer, yet wanting to make you happy ... to something totally not related to the organizer and going to pick up your son. 

    I find trying to figure out what's REALLY bothering him is what sucks the life out of me ... Wink

  • Poppy
    Poppy Member Posts: 405
    edited February 2008

    I agree with Bin. Sometimes my husband will just explode all over me for what I perceive as a little thing but the reason is mostly buried a little deeper. Usually I blame "Mommy Issues." LOL

    Try not to let him dampen your fun with your friend and organizer and stay happy about what you've done! I love organizing! :D

    LOL and xoxo

    Erica

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    My DH turns the television on all night long.  Wakes me up several times during the night.  Mind you he does this just about every night!  This morning he decides to sleep in late.  9am I go in to watch the news.  TV turned really low.  He grabs his pillows and huffs out to the living room - to do what?  Get some sleep.  Now why doesnt he do that in the middle of the night??

    Men are from Mars!  No doubt about it.

    So Deb I hope he comes home in a better mood, cause I hate it when they are like this.  Makes my insides wanna scream. 

    Nicki

  • BethNY
    BethNY Member Posts: 2,710
    edited March 2008

    Not all men are bad...some are dead. LOL just kidding.

    I'm sure he was moody from sitting in the car for 3 hours, while you got to stay home and hang with this person that makes you feel very good and happy.  Just jealousy.  When the ridiculous thing is, you would've driven to pick up your son, and not said word ONE about it.

    I'd pick up the phone, and call him and say, Are we done fighting now?  It is kinda cute that he's jealous of you and the organizer.

  • Isabella4
    Isabella4 Member Posts: 2,166
    edited February 2008

    I read today that it takes an average of 40 times of telling to get a man to do something as simple as put the toilet seat down, or take out the rubbish. (women came in at 8 times to be told before things are 'fixed')

    I know I can get my g/children to do something the way I want it done in about 2/3 days, they soon learn.

    I have been telling my DH for over 25 years that Tuesday is rubbish day. I started out all those years ago asking politely, now its developed into a screech every Monday night, and me getting accused of being controlling.....controlling ?? after 25 years of asking....I think I am a saint to put up with it!!

    I know if I didn't think so much about him I would be doing time now for murder !! I have grounds every day. I really don't know why we can't get thru to them, why they just do not seem to want to do things properly, simple little things like just walking out of the bathroom leaving wet towels all over the floor, leaving every door in the house swinging open, same in the kitchen if he's looking for anything 5 or 6 doors will be swinging open, piles of food all over the counters, and DH long gone !

    Bandteacher, you have YEARS of it to come, so get used to it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Isabella. 

  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited February 2008

    He's a man.  Easier to pout and be mad than talk about it.

    Just let him be - I'm sure you have days when you're in a mood too!  They usually come around pretty quickly.

    Good job getting your house organized and sold!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Heck, I'm with your DH.  I'M JEALOUS OF YOUR ORGANIZER!!!  LOL

    I need one here!

    Isabella, you made me laugh!!!  We had our foyer painted which included the upstairs....we have a balconey...banisters.  Anyway, once we had the foyer painted I decided I wanted the spindles painted white.  I washed all of them.  I taped so the paint wouldnt get on the banisters..a pain in the butt! cuz there's lots of them.  I helped him a litte when he put on the Kilz and a little on the painting.  However, he likes the way he does it better.  Well, a year or more later we still have spindles that need painting over the kilz.  I suppose I'll have to wash them again.  I swear, I'm gonna get that paint out one day and just start painting.  Hope I can get the blue tape off!

    Yep, the answer is THEY'RE MEN!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    LOL

    Thanks for making me feel better-

    Update, he still isn't talking to me.   He needs to go on an anti-depressant.  I think he may be bipolar. 

    He is acting so bizarre.  I felt embarrassed for my organizer friend.  She totally knew that dh was avoiding the house.  He was refusing to come home until she left.  I kept saying that she wasn't leaving for hours.  I said that our son needed to sleep. 


    Usually, dh is a nap NAZI, and has a fit if Daniel isn't going to get his nap (usually, when Daddy makes sure that Daniel naps, it suits Daddy's needs). 

    This time, NO nap suited Daddy's needs.  
    Whatever. 

    I hate it when he gives me the silent treatment.   I did nothing wrong!   I talked to him about it, he knew Kristie was coming, he knew he agreed to get Daniel!  

    AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  

    #$@# $%%$^  ^%&$@# ?":@!!$   $^%&#%& 

    Oh that felt better. 

    Now, to get some ice cream and eat my emotions.  

    Please keep the giggles coming.  They tell me I'm not alone!  
    Love and prayers, Deb

  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited February 2008
    for the record, when I type DH on this board, the "D" stands for damn.  you are so not alone.  i'd type all my husbands irritating ideosyncracies on here, but i don't want to hog all the bandwidth.  we've been married 30 years, so you get the picture.
  • gsg
    gsg Member Posts: 3,386
    edited February 2008
    oh, and for what it's worth...you could have left the word "sometimes" out of the thread title. LOL.
  • JoyRebecca
    JoyRebecca Member Posts: 787
    edited February 2008
    It's their job!  Foot in mouth
  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited February 2008

    We're all married to the same man.

    Tina

    PS I love my husband, he is the best and takes really good care of me but he IS a PITA.  ""Cause after all, he's just a man." T.Wynette

  • roseg
    roseg Member Posts: 3,133
    edited February 2008

    Has she been re-organizing his stuff? People can be touchy about their things.

    Between that and a long car trip many would be testy.

    I think forgive and forget with an emphasis on the forget is always a good strategy. 

  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited February 2008

    It sounds like he just has a different opinion than you do about the organization and that it's not that important to him.  Are you genuinely gung how about things that interest him even if they bore you or you see them as unnecessary? I think he's allowed to have his bad days just like you are. Just think that if he was writing this post it would probably have a different perspective than yours. I do think not talking to someone is pretty poor communication and hope that learns some better skills so you guys can work out your conflicts better.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008
    Argh. 
    We've been arguing all day long.  Oh wait, he's just had a few heart-wrenching knife-twisting zingers, then he goes all dull-blank stare on me. 

    This is a really frustrating experience. 

    And, no, she wasn't organizing his stuff.  I know better than that!  
  • Mary-Lou
    Mary-Lou Member Posts: 2,230
    edited February 2008

    I know where you are coming from. My DIL, and grandson are on their way so I can't post now, but I will return to this and give you my 2 cents worth for sure.

    I can say, They're Male that is why!

    OMG< I remember some of the fights with my EX-husband. That was much of the reason my boys are the way they are at times.

    The little one even looks just like his dad when he is pissed off. It's scary....

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Amy, have YOU ever lived with a man?  I've lived with "one" for almost 43 years come !!!  Yep, you got it.  Our anniversary is on April 1, 1965!

    Rose, it's hard to "forgive and forget" when they won't even speak to you.  That doesn't happen for long around here.  I can't keep my mouth shut that long!

    Deb, now we're going to have to try to peel back layers and layers of years of .....ask Amy.  She's the psychologist.  For the meantime I'd suggest you do this >>>>  

    Shirley

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Thanks, Shirley and ML.  

    This argument is getting worse and worse and worse and worse........

     I told him I am taking Daniel elsewhere so that our child doesn't have to spend any more time hearing and watching his Mommy and Daddy fight this way.   

    Then, I just told him a second ago that it would just be easier for Daniel and I if he was just the one to leave.  

    I know, I know.  It just gets worse and worse.   CryCryFrownFrownYellYell

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Deb, what IS going on with your husband.  For Pete's sake.  He's acting like a fool!  Now you can get angry with me for saying that. LOL

    You know what Dr. Phil says about arguing in front of children (wished I'd heard this a long time ago although I knew that it wasn't a good thing)?  "It changes who they are."  I would think that would be especially true if Mommy and Daddy argued all the time.

    Your hubby needs to get a grip!

    Shirley

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    I know, I know, Shirley! 

    I told him the same thing-he was teaching Daniel to grow up thinking that it is OK to treat his spouse in such a manner, OK to avoid all conflict by giving a person a silent treatment, OK to argue in the manner he was arguing with me. 

    I also took responsibility, because I know that I could easily (ha, easier said than done) walk away from it rather than make Daniel hear that. 


    That was why I said I was going to take Daniel elsewhere until Greg decided to stop the silent tx.  Poor Daniel's entire day was a waste because Mommy and Daddy were fighting.  

    The sweet and precious boy-I was crying in the other room because I didn't want Daniel to see.  Well, of course, my little angel comes up and wraps his arms around me and says, "Mommy, why are you upset?  I cry sometimes, too."   Then he scurries off, and returns with a stuffed SpongeBob SquarePants and says, "Here Mommy, you can cuddle with him so you feel better."  


    What an angel.  I raised my boy RIGHT!  

    Good news is, something in me cracked a few minutes after my last post, and I just ran to Greg and made him hug me.   Greg's ice finally melted, and he apologized for his actions and behavior.  He did agree that we need to get some counseling-not because we do this sort of thing all the time, but so we can STOP IT before it STARTS if there is a NEXT TIME.  


    I want him to learn to communicate with me, and I need to understand just how he communicates (or doesn't, for that matter!). 

    Aarrggghhh.   I'm still irked, but at least he is talking to me.  

    I love you ladies-you are here for not just bc issues, but marital counseling, too!  
    Love and prayers, Deb

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited February 2008

    Deb, so glad you broke him ... I've done the same thing many times over the 30+ yrs I've been married.  I wish he'd come to me, but history tells me that just won't happen.  Took me longer than you to learn if I made the first move, the fight evaporates.  Should I always have to?  Of course not.  But I love him for so many other reasons, I'm willing to go that extra mile.  (Hey, the man cooks all our meals!!)  I think it's great that he's agreeable to counselling.  Best of luck, and always remember that laughter often cools the heat of arguments too.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Ok, now that I am not ready to go to a hotel until my husband gets a clue, I'm ready to make this fun again.  

    Bring the laughs back, dear sisters! 

    Thank you all once again for being who you are.  
    I love the dh meaning d*** husband, by the way.  

    You did all make me laugh-sorry I was such a Debbie Downer......

    Thank you all-

    Love and prayers, Deb

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    By tomorrow I'm sure I'll have something to post about DH.  Right now I'm in my used-to-be-daughter's bedroom where we have put the puter.  DH is in our room next door.  I can hear him snoring.  Really, it doesn't bother me when I'm asleep.  LOL  And he snores LOUD!      And makes strange noises!  AND moves around to much!  Well, if I'm asleep, his snoring, loud noises and moving do not bother me.  BUT you let me snore and he makes sure to tell me.  AND if I take up too much of our king size bed, he makes sure to tell me.

    I'll find something to gripe about tomorrow.  If I can't find anything I'll start an argument so I can come back here and tell you. 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Ha ha!!!!  You crack me up!  

  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited February 2008

    Shirley-- I reject gender stereotyping for both men and women. I have several very close male friends and am friends with their wives and it's impossible to generalize "all men" or "all women" into a box. There are always at least 2 sides to the story and when you can put yourself in the other person's shoes and see things from that perspective (not that you have to agree with it) that's empathizing and is a better way to resolve problems than feeling like the victim.

     I surely hope your statement wasn't a gay swipe.

  • KariLynn
    KariLynn Member Posts: 1,079
    edited February 2008

    My DH has a "tone" that he uses on occasion that is very rude but he claims to not hear it.  Drives me nuts.

    I think mine gets embarrassed when he knows he's been an ass and that just keeps making him be an ass.  Usually time solves that.  He rarely apologizes but is nicer for awile!

  • Fitztwins
    Fitztwins Member Posts: 7,969
    edited February 2008

    My DH doesn't do the silent treatment, I do. I wonder if he posts DW! LOL.  I usually give my say to him and he just looks at me with that deer in the headlights look.

    We don't really fight. I get angry with him, and I am sure he does with me (hardly ever cause I am darn near perfect! LOL).

    However, I have friends who DH's act like butt heads, I have friends that act like butt heads, and I have employees who do!

    I think that when something goes this deep that there is something else going on. Good luck!

    Janis

    your little boy bringing you sponge bob is adorable!!

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Janis,

    I think that a lot of dh's issues with communication is that his Dad and sister are both freaky freakazoids, and his mom (RIP-she passed away a few weeks before Daniel's birth) was the "normal" one of the group, but she put up with that crap.  

    They all give the silent treatment in that house.  Greg has told me stories of how his mom and dad would not speak to  each other for as many as 3 weeks, until the fight sort of dissolved.  

    I REFUSE to deal with that crap, and that is why I put up such a stink. 

    Besides, I am pretty perfect myself, so who in their right mind would do that to me?! 

    So, I think that what is the deeper issue is his upbringing, and he is acting towards me just as his nutso dad acted towards his mom.  He also deals with a lot of depression.  He has been advised not to take anti-depressants because he has elevated liver function (for no apparent reason, mind you.  He doesn't drink, he doesn't swear, he doesn't rat his hair, he gets ill from one cigarrette.....oops...that's Sandra Dee from Grease....anyway, he has perfect health except for his fatty liver).  

    Amy-I think you missed me asking you this before-Did you really meet Rosie O'Donnell?!?!?  I named my cat after her-I LOVED the Rosie O'Donnell show!    I totally miss it. 

    Here's one that makes me crazy about dh.  He leaves receipts everywhere.  He takes the receipt out of the bag from the store as he is emptying it, and leaves the receipt sitting by the item.  When we got married, I found receipts from 5 years prior to meeting him!!!!!  I am yelling about this because I just found a stack more in my car (which he used this weekend).  

    Argh.  Men.  

    Love and prayers, Deb

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2008

    Hey Madalyn, We are neighbors!   How cool-we can meet someday for lunch if you'd like!   (ok, not really neighbors, but at least in the same state!)

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