Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

Good evening Jewels! Hope all the tx went well for everyone today - those getting ready tomorrow, thinking of you!

Kimberly - How in the world do you have any energy to walk/exercise?!!!? I have avoided even walking down the stairs to my basement b/c I'm afraid I'll never be able to walk back up! I actually cooked dinner tonight for the first time in a LONG time and I'm completely wiped out!

Great advice for Dana, by the way - you have such a way with words.

Vettegal - I have found so far that it takes my taste buds 10-14 days to get back to somewhat "normal." Some things still don't taste great, but other things are okay. That may vary with the kind of "cocktail" you're getting - it will be interesting to hear what others think. I also have noticed an increase in my headaches - I am a chronic migraine sufferer (since I was 12!) and I'm going through my Imitrex MUCH faster than normal.

I LOVE the idea of everyone getting together once we're all through with this - I'm on another thread often and several of them have talked about their chemo pals meeting for reunions. One was at a beach house somewhere and another group was meeting in Vegas! I say I'm IN for that kind of celebration!

Paula - hope your cold medicine is at least alleviating your symptoms. Try to get some rest!

CarolC - LOVE the pic! I'm jealous you can take your laptop with you for tx! I think your wig looks cute on you!! Love the screensaver story - LOL!!

KathyL - hope you get some rest - listen to your body and don't overdo! I had my dh shave my head last weekend (with razor and cream) as my stubble was getting everywhere and really itching. It feels so much better now that he shaved it!

Carol - you get some rest too!! Here's hoping for minimal se's!

Kris - that's awesome they're getting free Neulasta shots for you!! Not that anyone really "wants" those nasty-lasta's, but they do serve a purpose! I have found that taking some Tylenol or Ibuprophen can help with the pains that they cause. Love the idea of letting your daughter do the shot - I'm sure she'll appreciate that payback!

Dana & WVgirl - My heart goes out to you both. No woman should ever have to deal with a man who does not appreciate and support her. You have both had some wonderful advice from our fellow Jewels and you need to focus on YOU right now and what is best for you - not anyone else. My thoughts and prayers are with you both as you have this additional burden. You are both strong women and you WILL survive this and be able to move on for the betterment of yourselves! Keep on venting, girls, it does not help to keep it bottled up - that's what we're here for. Love and hugs to you both!

I hope the rest of our Jewels are faring well this evening with minimal se's! {{{{{HUGS}}}}} to all!

Julie

Ladies,

Thank you so much for your kind words and support.  I did put a smile on my face and because of that I had such a wonderful day.  Today I helped do CPR and revive a 94 year old lady - we tried for 15 minutes and with the Grace of God she is still alive.  I pray that she will continue to live a healthy life. I realize I am here to help others and help to people that need it and appreciate it.  I love my job and today was one of my best days I had even when I had to put a suppository in the rectal with diarrhea all over my hand.  I love it!  I love making people smile, and in return they uplift me as well.

Kim, I did not take it wrong, and you are so right about everything you stated.  I do take blame on picking him, it was a cycle from seeing my Mom choosing an abusive man so I picked the same kind because I didnt find time to love me.  I realize today (now) that its a blessing all that I went thru because it is what makes me and that is stronger.  I know God will see to it that my ex will get his do for leaving me like this.  I will not be around to see it because I will be too busy doing me and being happy.  I know I will shine out of all this - I will be the Godly woman with Class and a Education. I decided today as well I dont want to stop here I am going back to school to further my education in the medical field.  Its so rewarding!  I cant stop loving people so this is the safest field I can get into without being hurt or disappointed. I hope you know what I mean.

As for finding another man, I am not ready for another one after him - I love loving me now, and focusing on me; it feels good.  Now if God sends me Mr. Right or Almost Right then that is fine but he and I know I am not ready for him.  I want to serve God first and then me, and then MAYBE another man.  He ha..

Thanks Ladies for all your love! When I was reading your notes I would of cried but tonight they made me smile because I know I am on this road of recovery and a Great new me..  It was funny because my student friends asked me if I was alright because then see the other side of me yelling and cursing the Nurses out on the phone so that I can get chemo, and they really do care for me - just like you ladies do.. Its so nice to be loved.

Oh yea, I was working with this Nurse today and she was the meanest Nurse I have ever encountered and Kim would be so proud of me, I breathed deeply and sad to myself there is a reason why God sent me in her path, so I thought I would share with her that I had Cancer and let me tell you she turned around with a more caring attitude - So hell this Cancer is nice having sometimes because it makes other people be more compassionate.  Too bad she cant be nicer all the time, but you never know maybe I taught her something.

I love you all - and through your notes I have recieved your blessings and love.

God bless,

 Dana 

Good morning Jewels!  I seem to be the early bird.  I went to bed at 8 last night and slept really well until 6-ish when the dh and kids got up to get ready for the day.  Awake now and pushing fluids as I didn't have any overnight.  I was SOOO tired yesterday-- a day earlier than last time, so I'm going to take it real easy today I think. 

Kris60:  Man, so many things that can mess up our sleep-- all the drugs (specifically the steroids), the stress (where do you even being there??), and our crazy minds that sometimes won't stop!  Try a nice relaxing bedtime ritual (soft music, a visualization tape-- I got a great one that usually does the trick, nice soothing drink...).  And watch the timing of your meds near bedtime.  A lot here have recommended taking the last day's dose of steroids by 3PM to help with sleep.  I haven't had too much trouble with them and I take my PM dose at 7:30.

Bet your kid will get a kick out of giving you your shot.  She'll probably be pretty good at it, too.  I'm amazed at how well my diabetic patients (I'm a peds. NP) do with needles.  I'm trying to not thinkabout the cost of Neulasta either.  I hear it's pretty expensive, but after my hospital stint with the non-existent WBC/ANC, I doubt BCBS would have a leg to stand on in denying me it!  Sounds like you dropped low, too.  It should prevent that from happening next time.

WVgirl:  Oh, you and Dana make me so sad.  I wish I could just make it all better for you both.  Please make sure you get someone to talk to professionally-- for your sake.  And don't make excuses either.  If he's not the right one, it doesn't matter about the kids, the house, the job... it all works out.  My parents divorced when I was 19 and in college, my brother was 16 and in HS still.  Looking back, I don't know how my parents stayed married for 23 years... they are so much happier now apart; like 2 totally different people.  My bro and I survived the divorce with counseling, and came out OK. My mom is a teacher (and was then, too), my dad definitely made more $$$.  She found a nice house eventually and is doing really well for herself. She will be retiring this year (age 62).  I know I'm rambling, but just remember you have so much on your plate you need to focus on getting through the cancer tx now-- but this is something you should probably be talking with a professional about (with or without him) to be able to address when you're better.  There's always a choice and a way.  You deserve to be happy and treated well always and forever!  Especially now when you need it most.  Keep venting for us... so many here have great suggestions.

Dana: You sound so much better.  Love the nursing stories-- I can appreciate them on the same level of yuckiness/messiness as you (the poop and CPR).  You have got such a great outlook.  I know you're gonna be fine

Would love to do a get-together/reunion, too.  I'd actually said something to D1 a while ago in a PM about it.  I am not much of a traveler (hate to fly), but I'd try it for all of you.  H*ll, a plane can't be any worse than cancer has been, right?  Just some suggestions-- a spa somewhere?  We could all do a nice long relaxing weekend somewhere that would cater to us and pamper us.  Or a big beach bash.  I go to a private beach in NC each summer (very quiet and relaxing)-- people take pics of their vacation group and tell their stories and each year the realtors pick a family/group to win a free vacation (so know we could get that!).  They have beautiful oceanfront houses called "Sand Castles" that you can rent for the week, with all the amenities; expensive, but with our numbers, we could handle it splitting the cost.  Some houses will hold 20 people! 

Good Morning Jewels,

BRAVO Dana!!!!! Whew, I’m so glad you didn’t take my post as a criticism. I am so excited for you. I tell you what…I remember the feeling I had when I finally made the choice to make a change…like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I’m so glad you had such a wonderful day and have found your calling in life. And taking care of you and loving you right now is totally the way to go. I feel like your mom…all proud right now!!!!!



Great advice for wvgirl…there’s a reason you’re both on this thread…lots of support for you here.



Kathy- Like you, I haven’t much trouble sleeping with the steroids either, but I do wake several times a night to pee, but go right back to sleep. I did have that one bone pain night, but now I take Ibuprofin before bed, which does the trick.



Vettegal and Julie- I’ve had a few minor headaches, but nothing major. Migrains…that sucks.



BTW Julie- I didn’t go lift weights or anything like D1 does, just a twenty minute walk…and you’ve had a pretty rough go when compared to me, so I totally wouldn’t be thinking of exercising if I were in your shoes. You just do what you can do.



My new thing- my nose has been dry, but now my nose and eyes have been ‘running’ off and on. There’s no rhyme or reason to when they decide to make me look like either I’ve got a cold, or like I’m crying…a big ole tear just streaks down my cheek. Oh so attractive.



And…is anyone else losing eyelashes? I’m going to have to find out what to do when I can no longer wear mascara. I hear fake lashes are not a good idea due to the adhesive possible causing skin issues-irritation or microscopic tears in the skin.



OK, I know we can talk about anything here, so here it goes… a pooper question…has anyone else noticed that their anus is just sore? It isn’t like hemroids from straining ‘cause I solved that problem…it just feels tender…and all I can think of is that these chemicals we’ve been eliminating are not making my anus happy at all.



I love the idea of getting together when we’re all done with this ride!!!! If we do it early in June ’09, I’ll be able to attend, otherwise, I’m thinking I’ll be doing my implant exchange that summer so I don’t have to miss more school.



Looks like we made it through another week. We had a lot of gals belly up to the bar…here’s to a relatively se free weekend ladies.



SIS Kimberly

SIS Kimberly:  I agree with you on the exercise for Julie.  I've tried here and there also, but I figure I'll take care of it all later when I don't feel so crappy.  I'm halfway there now anyway .  Eyelashes: sucks yours are coming out already.  Probably the A/C combo you have.  The Look Good Feel Better class had some tips for drawing on eyelashes on the upper lids with brown or black pencil (vertical lines)-- it looked ok.  One of my friends found that if she wore her glasses it also helped make her eyes look bigger-- an illusion since she had no lashes or brows; don't know if you have glasses or not.  I've heard from many not to put on false lashes or brows that stick b/c it can mess up your skin-- ouch!  And about the pooper (since I have been through it all there, I'm a mini-expert I think!).  First off, yes it happens, the soreness.  One, the chemo changes the pH of stool, so it can burn or irritate the area.  Try warm soaks in the tub (no bubbles baths as this will dry it out more and make it sorer), sitz baths (same concept as the tub soak, but not as much water-- you can get them from drugstores, I actually have one laying around from when I had my kids and used it afterwards post-delivery sore-butt), and you can also use a cream to soothe the area like Anusol.  Or any combo of the above.  I found the cream and tub soaks were the nicest.  The other reason we get sore butts is b/c the GI tract tissue is all basically the same from mouth to anus-- so the sores we can prevent in our mouths with rinses are not taken care of in our butts-- nice thought, huh?  There's probably irritation rectally/anally like you'd get in your mouth.  Wonder why they don't have us do a butt rinse, too---hahaha!  You can actually rinse your behind after pooping with warm water to soothe and cleanse the area some, too (squirt bottle will do the trick).  The concept of warm water to the behind also means that blood flow goes there faster and helps with healing too-- so warm soaks, warm rinses, sitz baths will do the trick.  I knew there was a reason I had all these butt problems...

Kimberly, after 4 x AC I don't think I've lost any lashes and maybe just a few eyebrow hairs, but the Onc. told me the other day that the Taxol is probably going to obliterate all remaining hair, everywhere.

Re: the butt thing, yes absolutely sore, and absolutely not just a 'rrhoids thing. I figure that as part of the digestive tract, those cells are being killed just like the ones in our stomachs, intestines, etc.

In addition to the other suggestions, I had my partner get several packets of flushable baby wipes at the drugstore. Alcohol-free, very soothing. For on-the-road needs, Always makes individually packed "feminine wipes" that also do the job, they too are alcohol-free and flushable.

Dana - SO happy you had a good day yesterday! God bless you and our other nurses for being so compassionate and willing to do all those "fun" things. I could never do it -- I'll stick to teaching high school teenagers, thank you!! HA HA HA! You sound like you are in a much better place and your positive attitude is going to get you through this!

Kimberly - I SO love that we can talk about ANYTHING on this thread!!!! Thank you to our resident nurse, Kathy, for the great suggestions! I too have the same problem and will try your suggestions.

As for the exercise, I'm holding off on that. I have to take my son for a haircut tonight and run to Staples to pick up some supplies he needs for a project. I'm hoping to survive that big outing, then come home and crash!!

D1 -- calling D1!!! Hope you're doing okay with your se's this round -- haven't heard from you in a while!

Hope the rest of our Jewels are all doing okay with se's - get your rest this weekend!!

Julie

D1, you had me laughing and crying at the same time - you are so right that God has a lot of confidence in me to allow all this to come upon me.  I thankful is some ways, and in other ways I just want to scream!  he ha. I remember reading the book of Job and all that he went thru losing his entire family, diseases and all; but at the end because he maintained faith, God blessed him with 10 times more.  I am hoping he gives me at least 5 times more.  He ha. Yes, I have my days were the patients will throw up on you and diarrhea as well but it feels so great inside to help people that need it the most.  I hope you get better with all the your SE.  Just remember you are another treatment closer to recovery.  I sure missed ya!  I will continue to pray for you.

So many of you Jewels have the same inspiration and strive to help the community whether it be teaching kids, counseling me and others.  We all have gifts from God to give and share to others. 

Well my Insurance group called me and told me I can see the Dr so please pray over and over when they send in the referral for my Chemo all goes well if not I am quitting my insurance and going on Medical which means I will be milking the system (State) to pay all my bills.  I was trying to be a good citizen but sometimes it doesnt work out like that.  I will continue to pray and have faith even if its a size of a mustard seed because I truly know God will allow me to prevail thru all this. 

Its crazy but I cant wait to start my regimen so that I can go thru all this with you.  Before you know it everyone will be finished with your chemo but please Jewels just cause you have finished dont leave me because I will need you sooner then later.  Smile.

Love all of you - May God continue to bless each of you, and that may you get thru these treatments with ease.

Dana 

Jewels,

My dr said that the PET scan showed something wrong with my liver - they think I have Cancer in my liver now.  What can I say!  I am just shocked and amazed.  Liver Cancer with Breast Cancer - oh me, oh my!!!!

All I say is that I need prayers over and over and over again...  I am so shocked I dont know to cry, laugh or just over and die!  But keep the faith right Jewels, that is what you would tell me!

Dana 

He ha Cathy-Ca.  No the nurse told me that the PET Scan indicating abnormal liver.  I seen that also on my CT scan but the surgeon nor did the other Onco doctor seem concerned about that.  I would think that the PET scan would indicate a tumor or something to that affect instead of stating abnormal liver.  Heck I seen that before on the CT scan of the abdomen. 

You know what - whatever is what i have to say to all of this.  I am so tired of all the bad news, I am Gods child and what is meant to be will be.  No point of stressing out because my liver might have Cancer.  I am going to claim its just fat and enlarged like me and leave it all to God.  I just dont have time for all this, one thing after another.  If God wants me then fine, if he wants to fight for this battle then I will - but honestly I cant stress over this anymore - WHATEVER..  IN THE NAME OF JESUS I AM ASKING HIM TO TAKE ALL MY PROBLEMS!  I put up my white flag and surrender, I am all his now, do whatever you wish with me my Almighty One!! 

Vettegal - I am as strong as they come! Like I stated before whatever.  I cant fight this fight alone, and I will seek to the Lord with laughter and just embrace all that he is allowing me to have.  I am done fighting about all this! WHATEVER HE WANTS ME TO HAVE I SHALL HAVE IT, AT LEAST I WILL KNOW I DIDNT SURRENDED TO THE DEVILS TEMPTATION AND NOT FIGHT FOR THE LORD.  Give it all to me - I am ready for it!  I walk with God, and first and foremost I am his so he can do whatever he wants with me.  Whom I to say why me, he is the one in control of this life plan of mines.  So he can fight the battle, news, diagnose and all that I have on my plate because I am tired of it all -  God its all yours baby - do as you please with me.

One more thing My life has been like a box of chocolates.  I never know what I might get - he ha..

Love you all with all my heart ( hell thats the only thing that is healthy still) ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha..

Good evening fellow Jewels,

First off, Dana keep your chin up gal, until you have a definite diagnosis try to stay positive.  As you know the med field is not an exact science and your PET could be showing something other than a cancer.

D1, was glad to see that you we're up to posting today, you definitely are missed when we don't hear from you.  I always know that there will be a comment that will have me chuckling aloud.  I have asked my pt about a sleeve as well, we're planning on flying at the end of March.  She only recommended that I buy a garmet (by Under Armour) that is totally tight fitting.  I did get one and it definitely holds everything really tight.  My pt kept talking about how expensive the sleeves are (like the $$ was coming out of her pocket.)  I need to get a little more aggressive/proactive and get a referal going maybe by my onc.  I'm glad you brought it up as I kinda had dropped the ball on the subject.

Kimberly, havn't had the sore pooper, just one that I have to be careful that I don't overdue the Miralax, nothing worse than having to tighten those butt muscles when you laugh/cough/sneeze!  On that note, Vettegal, sounds like you just made it to the house!!!  Whew!!!

I would definitely want to be counted in on a reunion of sorts.  I am up to going to wherever the group decides (warmer the better).

Placed the re-order on T's today, they will hopefully be done by next Thursday (Valentines Day).  I ordered one extra shirt, size Large if there is a taker.

I'll be snooping the post tonight, my energy level and tummy are kinda blah tonight, so feet are up, fire going, waiting for the dh to bring home take out dinner.

Carol

Cathy, I have jotted down the sleeve you have used.  I'll check it out, I guess the one my pt talked about you actually have a mold taken of your arm and she said that if you have a bit of inflamation now it will not be a good fit if you end up smaller in the future.  So on that note, I'll be doing a little research on my own.  I also got some massage exercises to do along with my stretches.  So far so good,  Thanks for the info, Carol

Just pulled up the website, and there is a home health store near my home that carries the product, thanks again, I'll be making a trip to check them out!

Dana, you are in my thoughts and prayers that this will be ok. I would wonder more if it was breast cancer that had mets to the liver rather than liver cancer... ? and don't you think it's strange that your doctor and the onco saw it and weren't more concerned? Who said they think it's liver cancer - the nurse?