Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

CarolC · February 2008

Oh and Maz - just had to tell you how much I loved your pics!

Your son is a cutie, as well.

golfer779 · February 2008

Maz, just checked out your photobucket, thanks for sharing the great pics. Its so nice to put a face to the names we see each day, take care, Carol

chj127 · February 2008

Hi everyone,

I feel like I've missed a lot in 2 days - I've been lurking, but no energy to post. I have been sick as a dog - mostly diarrhea, but also stomach cramps, and having a hard time eating (note that this is from a stomach bug, unrelated to the chemo, except maybe by virtue of my wbc's being unable to deal with it effectively). At least I haven't thrown up since Wednesday night. I have made it a priority to drink, though. This is by far worse than my worst day from chemo! I've been popping Imodium every 2 hours (per the doctor) and I think it's finally easing up. It's crazy that my goal is to feel well enough to get chemo on Monday!! I'll go from Imodium to Senokot, just like that.

I did manage to have a scrambled egg, a small glass of skim milk, and a small glass of juice this morning. I'm hoping I can continue to take in small meals throughout the day & get stronger. I'm still pretty weak.

For the rest of you - stay away from sick people!!! Tongue out

I'm hoping to join the living by the end of the weekend.

CHJ

RN2teach · February 2008

Good morning Jewels,

I am so glad it is the weekend. I'm so hoping that this cold lets up some--it is wearing me out! Can't whine too much, though, after reading about my SIS and what you all have had on your plate this past week.

Dana- I'm sorry you received your worrisome PET Scan report on a Friday (ain't that always the way it goes in medicine?). Lord willing, it will prove to be nothing to worry about. Stay strong and positive this weekend!

Kimberly- here's wishing you smooth, pain-free moves! Wink

CHJ- sending you strength vibes so you can get back on the chemo train Monday! I am with you on wanting to keep things on schedule.

My students have their leadership conference March 6-7-8. I am taking 34 to compete in healthcare events (CPR/ First Aid, Medical Terminology, Medical Math, etc). I am not the only teacher going, but it would be a big disappointment to me and the kids if I can't go. If I miss one week, that would put me having chemo on March 6...

Maz- Great pics of you and your son. Love your Balditude pic! I am jealous of your smoothness--looking forward to getting rid of this stubble on my head!

To all my SIS who had chemo this week-- take care of yourselves this weekend. Hope the se are mild!

Paula

Harsch · February 2008

Diana4: Loved the poem - Thanks for sharing, it feels so true.

SISKimberly · February 2008

Good Morning Jewels,

So, I had a long day yesterday. I went to school to get some paperwork done and to have lunch with the gang. Great catching up with everyone. Then I took myself to see Bee Movie at the $3 movie, walked the Mall, and then met my son, dh, and sisters for Sushi at our favorite Japanese place. I taught the owners son, his now wife ( went to their wedding), and other members of the family English when I taught adult night school, oh so many years ago, for fun. They had one restaurant then, which has now expanded to take over the entire building plus another building on site. They’ve also expanded to a total of 7 restaurants- one in Vegas. My son has been going since he was young and says, “Gee Mom, you had a hand in helping them reach their American Dream…” Hmmm, I guess in a small way, I did.

That made me feel pretty good.

Anyway, I had a nice day…gotta take advantage of those for sure.

D1- So glad you’ve crawled back to us out of the fog, and hope that it doesn’t envelope you too badly over the next 72 hours. We ‘ve missed you, and totally understand laying low.

No way you’ll be dealing with the Conspaty…you’ve got preventative measures on hand…Mirilax…that miracle laxative. I’ve been using Vaseline up the ole nose…don’t know if I’d like the baby diaper rash prevention smell more or less than the lovely aroma of Ode de Oil Refinery or not. It’s a toss up.

Whoohoo on the extra PT and the Lymphodema appt. The sleeve for flying I hear is a good thing to have on hand…I’m thinking a flight to somewhere tropical would be good.

Dana- That’s great about the insurance saying OK to the onc. How could they logically turn you down for chemo after saying OK to him? I think, not. You’re going to be covered…I just know it. And if I’m wrong…which is a possibility (hahaha), then I’m throwing my tax dollars your way, darlin’.

Side Bar- When I was in college, I had my son, and I was on Medical and Family Assistance. I got loans to pay tuition, daycare, and books, and the County cut off my food stamps and told me they’d cut my assistance in half because they considered my student loans income. I was outraged. I sued them and won. I explained to the judge that my two more years in college will assure me of a job that will help me to be a tax paying citizen. The County was basically telling me that a loan, which I have to pay back, and which is paying my school expenses, not buying me luxuries, is income. That is not logical. The County was also saying that going to school and getting an education wasn’t important because if they cut my assistance, I’d have to use that loan money to cover that loss, which meant I can’t afford to pay childcare, which means no school. It appeared they’d prefer I stay on Family Assistance instead. Made no sense to me, nor the judge apparently. That was an awesome day!!!!

Vettagal- Or shall we call you Speed Racer…I’m sorry, I admit I laughed at your neighbor wanting to talk as you squeezed those butt cheeks together…hey, a silver lining…you probably got a good butt workout with that isometric squeezing you were doing. I am…and I’m sure everyone who would have been in your car later is… so glad you made it just in time.

How about a cruise? With a big group, we could easily get a discount if we contacted the cruise line directly. What fun that would be to get a big group photo!!!! I,too, would cherish that!!!!

Dana- WOW, I just read your post about the liver. They think…so they aren’t sure? And your previous docs saw this on your CT scan and didn’t think it was a concern? So either they were clueless or your new onc is being cautious and wants to be sure it isn’t something to worry about. Of course, you said only the nurse said something to you…so maybe she’s speaking out of turn? How can you know for sure? Do they biopsy a liver? Won’t chemo going through the liver kill those cells if it is cancer? I’m so sorry that you got such news right after your good insurance news, but like all the other gals have said…it could be nothing.

You have the right attitude…just Let Go and Let God as the saying goes. We love you and will be here for your even if when your chemo is still going and we’re done…many of us have rads afterwards…then hormone therapy…us Jewels are going to be talking and supporting eachother for a long time girlfriend. ((((HUGS)))))

Maz- I have a Mac, too. I can’t get my pics up either. The dh has to do it with his PC. Another beautiful baldacious babe has joined the ranks.

Carol- Glad the dh is bringing you dinner. No need to cook when you’re feeling wiped out. Feet up, fire going, and the Jewels…just the perfect pick me up, eh? Thanks for doing the t-shirt reorder.

And again, I have a large that I tried on once, washed, and tried on again that is too big for me if anyone wants me to send it to them. My gift.

Julie-That’s great that you ended up doing more than you planned with your son, and that you made it through without too much trouble. Kind of sucks though that you’re just starting to feel good, and it’s time to do it again next week. Hopefully, they’ve got this down now, and you won’t have the same awful time with throwing up and all.

CarolC- So, things are still going along OK for you in the se dept. it sounds like. Try taking Extra Strength Gas X in the am and pm…really helped me with the gas. I’m also taking a probiotic to replace all those little bacteria in my gut each morning.

Oooo, Sedona sounds nice.

CHJ- I am so sorry that you’ve been so sick. How are your lunch buddies doing? Hopefully, you’re on the tail end of this thing…and yeah, it is ironic to want to feel well enough to have chemo…but the good news is that if won’t feel like what you just went through. Take care of you…

(((HUGS))))

Here’s to an SE-lite day for those of you in the throws of the chemo climb…and to an energy filled day for those of you on the downhill slide gearing up for the next round.

I PM’d Herch and asked if she might have mistakenly posted here as I have not heard of a Diana4 on this thread.

SIS Kimberly

KathyL · February 2008

Happy Saturday Jewels! I'm day 4 of round 2's SEs and hit pretty good-- but I'm up, showered, and at the computer. Feel like I've been beat up. I think the Neulasta might be making my bone aches a little worse this round, but who knows? It's all relative... Hope everyone else fares well this weekend. I'm just glad my kids are off busy, and my dh and mom are here to help. I can focus on taking my drugs (hahaha) and eating and pooping-- what a life!

Dana: Hope they can clear up the PET scan results for you soon. It's such a pain the waiting to find out what something is or isn't. I'm praying for you that it's nothing.

Paula: Hope the cold improves. It's bad enough doing chemo without the added sx, huh?

CHJ: Hope you're on the mend for Monday.

D1: Good to hear from you! Miss your posts when you're gone. Any big plans for MONDAY the BIG 50?????

Maz: Like your pics. I'll probably never figure out how to post mine.. so sad.

CarolC: AZ spa sounds nice! My dh would love to golf while all the Jewels spa/relax!

Vettegal: I almost wet myself reading your post about your drive home! I have been there, done that with my hx of irritable bowel-- I was howling! Nice that you are a travel guru-- hmmmm... you've just signed yourself up for something I think. Whaddya think of the AZ spa idea vs. the beach? And I definitely think Vetteguy should come as well as all our dhs if we all agree.

KathyL · February 2008

SIS Kimberly: We must've been posting at the same time, girl! You sound perky today. Glad you had a good day. And Dana I agree with what Kimberly said to you totally.

SISKimberly · February 2008

Kathy- You crack me up... focucing on taking your meds, eating, and pooping...what a life! Yep, round #2 was definately harder on me than round #1. I wasn't even able to shower and sit at the computer on Day 4...Bravo for you!!!!! Let's hope this is the worst of it for you and tomorrow is much better.

SIS Kimberly

KathyL · February 2008

OK this coming week's line up is BUSY, so I'm posting it now while I have the rush of energy! Hope I got the dates right, let me know if not so I can fix it Smile

Monday: HAPPY 50th Birthday to D1!!! CHJ and Cathy-CA both doing round #2.

Tuesday: Kris60 doing round #2, Dana starting??? (I had the date down, but don't know that you're there yet, huh?)

Wednesday: Golfer779 (Carol) doing round #3

Thursday: Sheshe48 and JulieK each doing round #3, Donna1955 (AZDonna) doing her last AC round #4!!!

Friday: Vettegal, Peg1212 and JKiss75 (?) each doing round #2. PALady, RN2Teach (Paula) and Deb102307 each doing round #3.

Go get 'em girls! Kick some more BCA!

Determined1 · February 2008

Hey Guys. Got up this morning and looked and felt like sh*t (the dh got up from the paper as soon as I walked in the room and gave me a big hug after telling me how pale and puffy I was, then made me pnut butter toast, ummm). I've now eaten 4 "meals" and have been trying to drink, drink, drink, and am a little better. Just basically the nasty lastas today, I think. We'll see how long I last at the computer till the back starts to ache...

Dana--I'm a little concerned that the nurse is reading your scan and giving you info when your docs have already seen the same thing and weren't as concerned. Sometimes those hi res scans "see" things that aren't as ominous as they initially appear. (Reference Vettegal's experience with her mom.) I know it's the weekend and hard to wait (oh, my, we've all waited so many times on this journey and it never gets any easier), but try to relax until you speak with your doctors next week. I think you have enough on your plate right now--you don't need to add anxiety over this. Chin up.

CHJ--I hope you're feeling better. My dh and dd went to a movie today (Atonement), and I really wanted to see it with them, but all that kept replaying in my head was "don't go out with the public and get sick when you're in se-land--remember CHJ!!" So I sucked it up and am home talking to my sisters. Sorry to use you as an example, but I do appreciate your taking the bullet for all of us as a reminder on this one. Lots of rest and tlc so you're ready to belly up on Monday!

OMG Vettegal, I was so totally with you holding back on your shart! (Our family shorthand for a productive fart, ie. diarrhea.) I agree with SIS Kimberly, your future passengers are mighty relieved that your butt muscles have so much control!

KathyL--you sound good today. And you got the bar bill together for the week. I'm impressed. I'm also amazed to see how many Jewels will be in the lounge this week. We all do take our turns, don't we? I really hope the neulasta keeps your counts happy this time, we don't need any more drama!

SIS Kimberly--I agree with your son, you participated in that family's American Dream. That's so cool. And you sound like you're making the best of your good days, which is also cool. Is the extra strength GasX pill form? (Hmm. Nice segue to a gas question, sorry bout that.) I'm really having trouble with the gas, but only have those melt in your mouth GasX strips, which I'm concerned will aggravate my blisters in my mouth. Maybe I'll send the dh to the grocery after the movie to see about something in pill form (cause I sure can't get enough of those!).

Julie, Julie, Julie--you sound like the energizer bunny! I was exhausted just reading about your outing! You keep it up, girl!!

No big plans for the birthday, yet. I've requested a chocolate cake (I know you're all shocked to hear that). My in-laws have invited us over for dinner tomorrow, but I may just eat a fried egg and veg in the corner (everyone's good with that, if that's how I feel). Dh is making a Peruvian stew for my bday dinner (beef, veggies, noodles--healthy, not too spicy stuff, everything in bite size pieces). I'm thinking the real party will be next weekend when college girl comes home and I'm feeling better. Besides, my little one has a basketball game Monday night and it would absolutely make my day if she gets to play a lot and plays well.

I mentioned a Sister Soiree (Jewels Junkett?) to my dh today and he thinks it would be good. So I'd like to throw my hat in! I like warm climes.

Thinking of everyone, today. Hoping we're all managing our se's. (Oh I'm trying a little coffee this time around, like I said the other day and the headaches aren't so bad!! Learning every time.)

Later, ladies.

D1

Determined1 · February 2008

Maz,

Just checked out your pix. Awesome!! How on earth did you get your head so smooth???? It looks like a movie star's head! (And your kid is a real cutie. He'll probably blush when you tell him how many bald women are saying that!) Thanks for sharing.

D1

texrn · February 2008

Hi all,

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile - have been to exhausted & too busy to do nothing but lurk - please know that you all have been in my thoughts & prayers, daily.

Had my 3rd tx yesterday - 3 down & 1 to go!

The SE's after my second tx were worse than the 1st, starting immediately after I got home & not easing up until days 9-10. I think with this 3rd tx, I am continuing the trend ( darn, I was hoping last time was a fluke ). I started getting nauseated, right away, during my treatment - had been pre-medicated w/ kytrill & decadron, & also took some pepcid & tylenol before I left the house ( had h/a & indigestion during the 1st tx ). Anyway, they ended giving me 2 doses of Ativan throughout this treatment...which ended up doing the trick. So far, some nausea, but under control, as I am able to take in a full liquid bland diet - plus, no diarrhea...yet. Plus, I'm pretty tired & feeling kind of BLAH ( you'd think I'd be used to those 2 feelings by now ). I'm taking Zofran, Phenergan, & Pepcid to keep the nausea & indigestion at bay.

The fatigue had pretty much lasted the whole 3 weeks this last round. I did, however, have bursts of energy - but I still needed to nap/rest at least once a day. The first week I was down- for- the- count for the whole week, which I think contributed to the exhaustion that occured during the 2nd week. The 2nd week I had to play "catch up" w/ all the chores, errands, kids, ,my exercise routine, etc.. & the 3rd week I was busy trying to "get ahead" w/ all those things - & still trying to squeeze in a nap or 2. I think what has been a big factor in my exhaustion is that after the second round, everything hit me, not just physically, but mentally & emotionally as well. The last 5 months have been quite a ride ( as you all well know from your own experiences ), but I have tried to be very proactive, positive, & upbeat, always looking forward. But looking forward can make everything seem like it's going in slow motion...which can be agonizing. With all the down time I've had over the past 3 weeks, I've had a lot of opportunity to look backward over the past 5 months - looking back, though, makes everything seem like a whirlwind, which can feel overwhelming. Wow, it's amazing how perspective can effect attitude! I've resolved to continue to look forward with hope & faith.

Along w/ my GI se's, I've had a lot of muscle aches & joint pain, including some muscle spasms, i.e. charlie horses. When ES Tylenol doesn't help, I take Alleve - & of course, rest. My onc says thes se's are not uncommon w/ my course of tx ( TC ). I have not needed any Neulasta/Neupogen shots, as my blood counts dropped as expected during my nadir, but they were not dangerously low - w/ in a week they popped back up on their own. Although, I am no stranger to giving myself shots, if I had to - I went through 2 + yrs of infertility treatments. As far as bone pain from the Neulasta - I have heard that Claritin helps a lot.

The metallic taste for me, usually lasts 10-14 days - I find that tart things & salty things help.

I've lost about 75-80% of my hair ( shaved it on day 15 ). Some hair is still growing, but I think when I'm done w/ my tx's, I'm going to

shave it all again, so it will all start growing at the same time. My eyebrows & eyelashes are thinning. The other day my brow area was itching over one of my eyes, so I scratched it...I found eyebrow hairs in my nails & a bald spot on my eyebrow ( note to self & others: don't scratch if you're eyes or eyebrows itch ).

As far as chemopause: My last cycle started on Christmas Eve, & lasted for 3 weeks, then........nothing. Some mild hot flashes, but nothing frequent yet. My onc says 50-50 chance that menopause will happen. I'll be 47 this year, so I'm mentally & physically ready!

As far as neuropathy goes - I get some transient eye twitching ( some people think I'm winking at them ) & some rare, transient, tingling in my fingers. I know there are some herbs & vitamins I can take for this - will have to discuss w/ my onc when I see him.

Anyway, that's it for my laundry list of se's - hope it helps some of those behind me in treatments, in knowing what to expect /w each successive treatment. Although, I do realize that everyone is different in how they respond to chemo, & that each treatment can be different, some of our se's are similar.

My onc says I should be back to "normal" ( definitely a relative term ) by summertime - I told him " I hope so " - & he looked at me, rubbed my back & said " you are going to be fine!". With all the thoughts that have been going through my head over the past few weeks, that comment REALLY made my day ( because I decided to take it in its broadest sense )!

Thank you all for being here Smile

((((HUGS & PRAYERS)))) TO ALL OF YOU!!!!

Therese

LilWarrior · February 2008

Hi Sweeties,

You know what I thought this morning while reading my bible, I dont deserve any of this and honestly this is all in Gods plan! I am not going to be on the phones the days I am off fighting,arguing with Insurance and Drs anymore. For what? It is just allowing me to have little faith and destroying my immune system. God allowed me to have Cancer, he is allowing me to go thru all this so I am leaving it all to him. I am so tired of it all, and I am tired of the wasted energy I spend on this, it takes way too much out of me.

I dont know why the other Onco nor Surgeon didnt make a stink about the Mild Heptamegoly of the liver but this Onco is. Right when I gave him my pathologoy report he looked concerned. He took blood then and said I want to see what the PET scan says. He didnt call me, I called them this week and the Nurse said the Dr wants to send in a referrel for a MRI because the PET scan came back with an abnormal Liver. I said ok! So here I wait for the approval of the MRI and then get that done and hopefully ONE DAY (he ha), I will start chemo but I am not going to stress about it anymore - I just cant.

I am Gods child and whatever he wants me to go thru I will but NOW with a more peace of mind. Fighting, screaming, arguing with Drs and Insurance is not the way. Honestly, we all got to die one day and If the Lord wants me what can I do -and if he wants me to fight then I shall but I am so emotionally tired of all it and I am not being negative. Its just some peace that God put in me now. I thought about it this morning and said to myself I know God is love, and I didnt ask for Cancer so this is in his plan so I am not going to fight, bitch and cry about it. My life is all his hands - and that is the bottom line!

Saying all that means I am so at peace with all this - if I do have Cancer in the Liver - then it is. Whats the point of crying, bitching and complaining about it! My life is all in God, it is because of him I am here and I had nice wonderful years here - I think we all get caught up with that we want to live, we want to stay here on earth if we are true believers believe that there is eternal life, believe that God has plans for you, trust in him. I was thinking this morning how many years have I stressed out - like for example when my Mom was dying, my Dad was three rooms down from her and I was taking care of their home and letting their dogs out every morning, then running to work, then running back to their house to feed the dogs and put them back in the house, then running to the hospital visiting my Mom and Dad then going home to my house and starting this all over again for weeks and months - and I never thought I would of made it thru it and WITH GODS HELP AND IN HIS PLAN I DID but I didnt know I would and I cried, screamed and complained and where am I now alive and still kicking. So my point is sometimes we never know what God plans for us, so from now on he can have all my problems because he is better resolving them then I am.

I love ya Ladies and I cant say it enough, mere words can express my gratitude and appreciation that I have in my heart and soul for you. You were put in my life from God to lift me up and you have. I thank each and everyone of u!

Have a blessed day, night and weekend -

I am off to serve my patients who did more then I do. I will serve Gods purpose to today - to share and to give love! God is love!!!!!!! Innocent

deb102307 · February 2008

Sorry but I have only been lurking lately.

Hope those that are dealing with se's are starting to bounce back.

I know that everyone calls Neulasta ...Nastylasta but does anyone have a nickname for Neupogen? The back spasms (bone not muscle) were horrible last night and I am still trying to recover today. Took an Alleve and then pain pills and have just been laying around and dozing. I now understand what everyone was talking about. I can't remember when I hurt so bad. If I have to do this again, I think I will try the Claritin and see if it helps.

Dana, I know God is there for you and I will continue to ask him to stay close by your side to get this all straightened out for you. "Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord."

Someone mentioned a cruise.....what about a river boat cruise? They go up major rivers on big paddle boats. I think the name of one of the lines is Majestic. I have been thinking of going on one when this is all over. They look cool and no worries about passports and such. Just a thought.

Well, I'm headed back to the couch. Love everyone one here and so appreciate all the encouragement and ideas.

wvgirl · February 2008

Just checking in

Dana-I am praying for you A cousin gave me a booklet on God's Creative Power for Healing On verse I repeat is That which God has not planted is dissolved and rooted out of my body in Jesus name.

Hope everyone is doing well that had treatments this week.

I had a customer call in and start yelling at me because there was a main line water leak he threantned me and said Don't make me come in there after you. I started to cry any other time I would have told him to calm down but this was a pretty bad week emotionally I told him while crying Listen I do not deserve to be talked to like this and your not being very nice. I wish I would have been able to say Listen here I have a cousin who is with the local Police Dept do I need to call him and let him know YOU are threatening me?

I talked to a nurse who works at the Midwife I see for my early She was telling me that women who have no Insurance the state will not pay for a mammogram until they are 50 that is sad. Things need to change with health Insurance companies. I was telling her with my lump is did not show up on a mammogram and the after my biop the only thing that showed was the clip they put in beside the lump. This is because I have dense breast and a lot of times your lump will not show sometimes it talked 6-8 years to show up. Had it not been for loosing my weight and doing self breast examines I would have never found it. So now I am a spokeswomen so to be telling all my girl friends if you have dense breast ask for and demand an ultrasound.

Well here is to a great week ahead of us getting chemo I myself will ge going for round 3 on Friday.

Take care and good night.

Diana63 · February 2008

Hi everyone, chemo #3 is out of the way, I really don't feel to bad tonight. Last night I had bone aches, but now I am much better. Well if I make it to Monday without anything happening, #3 wasn't as bad as everyone told me it would be.

SISKimberly · February 2008

Afternoon Jewels,

Just a quick check in before I head out to the ballet with some girlfriends. We're seeing A Streetcare Named Desire...should be fun. I used to be into theater and dance in college, so I love this theater and dance and stuff.

D1- Yes the GasX comes in pill form. I take two in the am and two in the pm with my Pepcid AC.

Hope that works for you...I'd be concerned as well about the strips. Hope you got lots of rest today,so that you're up for tomorrow's big game.

Therese- Glad to hear from you. Man, it sounds like you've got yourself a mess of se's going. How great you only have one more TC to go!!!! Then what?

Dana- I'm glad that for now you've found peace in just letting it go. You've done what you can, and the oncologist has ordered your MRI, so it's the waiting game again. Frustrating for sure, but better to know what you're dealing with or not dealing with in order to get the right treatment plan. Sounds like this new onc is a keeper.

ARDeb- I'm sorry you're having a rough go with the bone pain/spasms. I hope resting helps. (((HUGS)))

wvgirl- That is so not right for customers to be yelling you. It isn't your fault his darned water pipe broke!!!! Isn't that always the way it is...you think of the best lines after the fact. I hope he felt really badly for making you cry. (((((HUGS)))))

Diana63- You must have been posting at the same time. Glad #3 hasn't been too hard on you.

I'll check in tomorrow gals,

SIS Kimberly

vettegal · February 2008

Hello Jewels Cool

Out to dinner with friends tonight..really needed that,,then we did what we call POWER shopping looking for hats for me...started at Burlington..nothing went to JCPennys aand they were having there greentag sale 75% off..got some fleece hat/scarf/gloves set for 2.97 got purple and brown/white..can't beat it for the price and they are good nite hats for cold bald heads.... bought a few more hats and a sblouse and a big fleece poncho that hangs pass my knees nice and toasty and warm for 9.97 ..i really love shopping this way..it actually made me feel good!

On the hair front..yes, i see hair starting to fall out (OMG) not big clumps yet..if i pull it it comes out..as soon as i see hair on my pillow in the morning...buzz, buzz, buzz will post more photos! Laughing

I hope everyone is in good spirits this weekend..I am thinking about everyone!! Like i said to my dh..gotta go check on "the girls" before i hit the hay tonight!

i like the cruise idea and we can get a great rate with all the people that would be coming..do like a thur-monday..out of tampa or miami. That would be fun.... Cool Cool Breast cancer beach babes..BCBB Cool

Sorry no buttclenching stories today...I swear my life is a movie!!!

My dh did have another breakdown last night about 3am..I had a case of the sharts (thanks D1)came back into bed,,he rolls over to snuggle and he is crying again.."i wish i could do more for you and help you" take the pain away..he is such a emotional guy..he was crying in the shower this morning.."i love you soo much" he says..

all i can tell him is to keep loving me, do what you are doing..because TRUST ME I said..i can not do it without you!!! Cry

Gotto love this guy,,he is a keeper!

Hugs to all...xxooo

jkiss75 · February 2008

Hi All,

I am here and down in the dumps big time. I have been lurking but it is really hard keeping up with you ladies and this thread especially when I have a computer savvy almost 2yr who wants to play her game the minute I sit at the computer.

Anyway first treatment went fine had a bit of reaction to the Taxotere, but just needed a bit more steroids and voila! The hair is just starting to lightly fall out, I am not ready for the buzz cut...I guess I am not brave enough.

Through this I am realizing what it means to have married a man who is emotionally detatched, this is not a surprise to me, but I never thought I would need more from him then he is capable of giving. I was wrong. This year has been shit. We bought more of house then we could afford and you all know what the economy is doing and the husbands job is construction, so you can do the math. We had to put our beloved dog down that we had had since a puppy and I haven't taken a moment to realize that pain, the daughter has been chronically sick and the cancer rounded out the end of the year events.

I MISS my boob I want it back, I want my dog back...I need some love and emotional support. I have hardley even cried since the diagnosis and didn't cry durning the masectomy...I am having chemo nightmares...I am just a wreak and it is hard to breathe with a 22 month old wanting every moment of your time and a husband who has checked into the Pabst Motel.

I don't mean to bring the positive vibe down but I know you babes are the only ones who will even understand how I am feeling.

I know I just need to cry, cry and cry.

Thanks for being here.

RN2teach · February 2008

JKiss- sending warm (((HUGS))) your way. I am so sorry that your DH isn't there for you. I cannot imagine keeping up with a 22 mo in the midst of cancer treatment. As Kimberly would (and probably will) say--YOU are a SHERO, girlfriend! I'll be praying for your situation, that you will find the support you need to help you through. This is a wonderful place to come and share your troubles. I'm glad you are a Jewel--we're here for you!

Vettegal- love your posts lately. I'm glad you are having some good days and keeping your sense of humor with the sharts (LOL D1) and other oddities of this journey.

Kimberly- you are just a little bundle of energy, girl! I'm glad you're feeling well and enjoying yourself.

Therese- sorry you're having so many se with this round. Only one more to go for you, right? HANG IN THERE!

D1- I hope you bounce back quickly from round 3 and feel well enough for a big Bday celebration next week!

Deb1023- hope you have a restful pain-free night's rest tonite!

Dana- you're in my prayers!

WVgirl- (((hugs))) Sorry about your bad experience yesterday. Just remember, "what goes around comes around." Mr. Rude will get his "reward" someday!

Gee, was it just this morning that I was complaining about my stubble? I was massaging chemo shampoo into my scalp this morning and got handfuls of hair for my trouble. I am well on my way to a smooth pate. Odd that I'm happy 'bout that, huh? Innocent

My dad came by today and brought me a quilt that the ladies group at his church made for me. I grew up going to that church, so I know most of the women who worked on it. I was so touched!

Well, time to take my cold drugs and fire up the vaporizer! I have always been such a night owl, but those days seem to be a thing of the past!

Good night, Gems

Paula

golfer779 · February 2008

Well with no surprise the group was pretty chatty today. For those of you that have been lurking, thanks for checking in to let us know how your doing, and lets hope that your on the se upswing here real soon.

CHJ, doesn't even seem fair to get the full fledge flu bug on top of what we're already enduring. Boy what a rollercoaster for the ol'gut from Imodium to Senokot. Hope everything is okay for your txt to take place Mon.

Paula, sounds like you have quite the repore with your students, we'll keep our fingers crossed that all will work out for you to attend the conference with the kids.

Kimberly, boy you go from zero to sixty pretty darn quick! I'd have to say that you definitely make up for those down days with fun filled days when your free of ugly se's!

KathyL, I was thinking we kinda sound like a group of geriatics with the excitement of being able to eat and poop and think its a good day! Nice to hear you get help from Mom and the dh when your needing it.

D1, noticed you saying you we're pale and puffy. I chat with a gal on the CMF thread and she was complaining of the same se's. I had not had any problems with that and recommended to her to call the onc's office and ask what was up with that. Do you know what particular drug has caused that se?

Hey dinner sounds pretty darn good, its nice to have a dh that can cook (I would be so fortunate as well). Lets hope your tummy will want to accomodate dinner as well as that chocolate cake. Hopefully you'll get your b-day wish on Mon and your daughter will get some good quality play time. Remember that wig now!!!

Therese and Deb, isn't it nice to be able to just "lurk". Glad you we're able to fill us in on how your doing, hang in there gals. The end of txt is getting closer by the day.

wvgirl, whats up with rude people? I just cannot relate to others being unkind no matter what the circumstances. I always say that "they must be having a really bad day". If they only knew what a really bad day was!!! I guess you have to feel sorry for people who have such a lousy temperment. So sorry you had to deal with that, boy you just can't win, crappy people at work, the DH ... hopefully things are getting a little better at home in that respect. We're here for you to vent away.

Vettegal, wow, a dh that shows emotion. I'm not sure how I would respond if my dh we're to break down. How great to know your loved so much, more kudos for Vetteguy. My dh is there for my every need, always asking if I need anything, and making sure I'm doing okay when at work, he is definitely the eternal optimist and when I'm feeling a little down he makes things seem all better!!! And thank god for patience, my ol' libido has been all but non existent since my diagnosis in Oct. I'll have some making up to do!

Also, I have a size Large T-shirt that is up for the grabs as well. Fire me off a PM if you would like it and I'll get it in the mail. No I'm not giving up on the FUBC, just needed a smaller size!

Love the thought of a cruise, been on a couple and they have something for everyone!

Carol

golfer779 · February 2008

jkiss, must of been posting at the same time, sorry that I blabbed on about how great my dh is. I hope that you can find/have support from others near you as well as with the warm heartfelt words from our group. We're all here to try to ease your pain, you have definitely had more than your share.

Paula, you'll have that quilt to treasure a lifetime, how can you not get a good nights rests with that warming you!

Carol

JulieK_11_30_07 · February 2008

Late evening, Jewels! Looks like you've all been busy posting today! Sorry for all of you having to deal with those darn se's - hang in there and get your rest.

I've been a little tired today - not sure why. Guess the running around last night did me in after all. I spent most of today figuring out lesson plans for my sub for the rest of the semester. I meet with him on Tuesday to make sure he knows what he needs to do. I'm also meeting with my principal to "divvy" up my dept. chair duties - I still have some evaluatios to do, so we need to figure out who's going to do them now. It makes me sad to finalize that I'm not going back this year -- but, I know it's what I need to do, so I'll have to get through it.

Texrn - sorry you've had a rough round this time - take it easy and get your rest!

JKiss - so sorry you're also dealing with a DH who's not supportive. I hope you can find the support that you need. We Jewels are always here if you want to vent.

Sorry - kind of pooped tonight - so I'll make this one short. Hope you are all tucked in, keeping the se's under control. {{{{HUGS}}}} to everyone!

Julie

tinalee123 · February 2008

Good morning Jewels. Like others, I've been lurking, but haven't had the energy to post. Tx#3 this past Thursday wiped me out for the evening. I worked from home a little on Friday, but, had to take frequent breaks. Saturday was a bust, so stayed in bed with the tv remote and cat. Dh brought me meals and ate with me on the bed...kinda like he and I used to do years ago, only with pizza and wine, and, well, let's just say neither one of us was 'sick'... Wink

You Jewels with all the energy -- Julie and all your errands, CarolC and your caucus, Kimberly and your outings with your son -- you're all amazing! You inspire me with thoughts that staying active can improve ones' overall health -- including the mind, even when you don't feel like it! Now, if only the weather here in MN would get out of this sub-zero, -25 windchill weather pattern! It's tough to get motivated when faced with arctic air!

Speaking of the mind...Dana...I know how you (and many of us here) trust in the Lord...but, please don't forget the power of positive thinking! You're doing all the right things. Put that healthy mental image of yourself forefront in your mind and keep it there! Sending you hugs and prayers.

Wvgirl -- I'm reminded of a bumper sticker I've seen around my area..."Mean People Suck". They really do, don't they? IMO, behavior like that comes back around.

jkiss -- dealing with and facing the "big picture" is always more overwhelming and seemingly insurmountable, especially when certain things are beyond your control. Try taking smaller "pieces" and dealing with them individually. With the little one, you obviously have a priority there. But, allow yourself to mourn -- your body, your beloved pet, etc. It's exhausting, but, can be therapeutic. It also gives you the ability to move beyond and onto other things. You're among friends, here. Good wishes heading your way!

Wishing everyone a Sunday that's restful and relaxing. Hoping the se's are at a minimum! Will check in later.

Tina

Cathy-CA · February 2008

When did the rest of you decide to shave your hair? I'm 21 days out and my hair is definitely thinning, but I don't have any bald spots nor is it coming out in clumps. Can't decide whether to just get it over with or to hang in as long as it still looks okay to everyone else. A friend's 50th birthday celebration is tonight and I want to go to that with my "normal" hair, but can't decide whether to go ahead and cut everything tomorrow or keep waiting. Opinions?

sheshe48 · February 2008

Hi JJ,

I'm sorry I have not been on, you all probabley thought I died or something. I have been sick and I think feeling some depressed. Last week I went to my medical dr. and he said I was not sick, 2 days later I went to my cancer dr. and he put me on a antibiotic and sent me out for a chest X-ray. I have been running a temp of 100.5 for a week now. And my picc line was just starting to get infected. So I'm hoping the antibiotic will take care of it. I have a bad sinus infection, and I won't know about my x-ray until mon or tues. I hate cancer and that AC treatment, I think God their is a treatment. I'm really spilt by this. Sorry for being so selfish I hope everyone is well and good luck with everyone's treatment coming up this week.

D1 I'm so glad your lump was B9.

Shebas I'm so glad you don't have to travel 500 MI each way, and trust me with AC you won't be able to drive yourself home. Unless it only affects me funny, and make them run the drip very slowly at least 2 and a half hrs for Cytoxan. If you take tylenol right before the treatment it helps with the bad headache, the first time I had a headache from HELL.

See ya

vettegal · February 2008

Hello Jewels!!

I have started 4 posts and our power keeps going off..it has done it 10 times in 2 hours..high winds must be the problem..(DUH) so, I will make this short..till the winds pass..Hope everyone is well!

Hugs to all....xxooo

SISKimberly · February 2008

Good Morning Jewels,

Vettegal- I love that kind of Clearance sale shopping, too!!!! Good for you having a girl’s day, and feeling so good while doing it is just icing on the cake…chocolate cake!!!! What a sweetheart of a dh you’ve got yourself…a man who is in touch with his emotions is a rare thing.

JKiss- ((((HUGS))))) Oh, sweetie, I am so sorry you’ve had such a rough road this year and cancer on top of it all. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. I’m sorry your dh isn’t the emotional support you need right now. Like wvgirl and Dana, it doesn’t sound like it’s much of a surprise to you, but now you’re seeing that having a true equal partner is important…a shift in thinking and priorities...not always an easy realization. Do you have other people around to support you? Family or friends near by who can help you with your daughter, give you hugs, and help you with things when you’re just worn out? I wish there was more I could do for you, wvgirl, and Dana than give your virtual (((HUGS))) and tell you I’m here for you.

No need to apologize for expressing yourself here. It’s OK to have break downs and to grieve the loss of your breast, your dog, your dreams of your life in your new house, your hopes that in an extreme hardship your husband would be some emotional support… grieve it…and let it go. What can I do today to make my life what I need and want it to be? I can consider reconstructive surgery to replace my breast. I can look long and hard at our finances and create a budget we can live within. I can express to my husband how much I need him and understand this has been a rough year on him, too, but that we need to pull together rather than pushing each other away. I can reach out to friends, family, my church, or community resources for assistance. I can cry, cry, and cry some more to cleanse my spirit. Just remember…you are a survivor…a real SHERO for taking everything on that you have.

Paula- Oh, you know me so well. I had a great time at the ballet. We had dinner first, then off to the show. The Sacramento Ballet does three pieces each performance: one more traditional, the main attraction, and a more contemporary piece. They did such a fabulous job with Street Car Named Desire…sets, costumes, character development, choreography…brilliant.

How sweet of the ladies at your childhood church to make you a quilt, and for you dad to bring it by. That’s just love expressing itself all over the place, isn’t it?

You know, my wig gals had never heard anyone say their stubble hurt…when I told them mine got really stiff like I’d hair sprayed it to death, and then started to ‘hurt’ and fall out, they were surprised.

Here's to good numbers and getting to attend the competition with your kids!!!!

Carol-Yeah, I’ve always been a go go gal, so when I have a good day, I’m getting all I can out of it. I, of course, could spend more time exercising…but going to lunch, window shopping, the ballet, to school for a visit, and even doing my lab work every week is so much more fun in my book. Now that the weather is getting so nice…I have to just get out and walk every day…although I need to start doing some strength training…my muscles are practically non-existent it seems.

Me, too on the libido thing…but (OK, if you don’t want to read this…skip to the next paragraph) my dh is so wonderful about getting me into the mood if you know what I mean. Once the pump is primed, I’m ready…maybe not as athletic as before, but gets the job done…oh yeah. However, I do know that he’d like sex more often than he’s getting it.

OK, it’s safe now to continue reading ladies.

Julie- I’m not surprised you’re tired after your first big outing in days. Glad you took time to just rest and get prepared for your time off to heal. Man, isn’t getting lesson plans done for such a long time a bear? I had to divvy up my Dept. Chair duties as well, although we aren’t allowed to do evaluations in CA…our administrators have to do it. How funny that my sub is a man, too. He used to be my student 10 years ago…it was great to pass my class on to someone I know will do a great job, and at the same time so hard. I miss my kids so much.

Tina- Hey, good to hear from you. And lazing in bed with the cat and the TV sounds good to me…and how sweet your dh came in to eat with you. Hey, when you’re feeling up to it energy wise…relive one of those earlier-time moments with the dh…just because we’re older and have bc doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun now and again. He’d love it, for sure. Great words of wisdom for Dana and JKiss.

Hope you have a better se day. So, with number 3 done, you’re almost done with AC, then onto Taxotere.

CathyCA- You know, I say as long as you can live with it and it looks good, don’t worry about it. I didn’t worry about it until it started coming out in clumps.

Have a great time at your friends 50th!!!!

SheShe- Well, there you are!!!! I was wondering if you went on vacation without us or something. So sorry it wasn’t a tropical island escape, but a sinus infection.

Don’t be too hard on the regular doc…sinus infections aren’t always easy to diagnose if your mucus isn’t an awful color like yellow or green the day you go in…I’ve experienced that before, and a day later my mucus was all of a sudden a pukey color, and I was on antibiotics. With the flu going around, docs don’t want to prescribe antibiotics willy-nilly. On the other hand, being a chemo patient, he might have been a bit more diligent. Glad the onc took care of it. Take care of yourself…hope the xray comes back clean.

Well, have a wonderful day ladies. I’ll check in on you tonight.

SIS Kimberly

camazur · February 2008

Day 3 of tx 2 isn't too bad, except for the usual. Really can't complain. And I'm getting Taxotere, Adriamycin and Cytoxan all at one sitting. Some muscle pain in my thighs. Waiting for the se's to arrive. I was warned I'd be more tired after this one. Glad to see you're perking up, Kimberly. Gives me hope.

Jkiss75-we are here for you. Sorry you're having such a hard time.

To those who commented on the smoothness of my head--after using hair clippers and leaving stubble I bought one of those pen-sized grooming shavers at Rite Aid. I went over the whole head and it really helped get it shorter, though not as close as a real shave with a razor or electric shaver. I almost used up the aaa battery included.

I also have been getting flaky scalp after showering which I've been putting cocoa-butter lotion on, but want to pick up some baby oil as has been mentioned. Any other suggestions out there?

Maz

Jan 2008--Ain't it Great?

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