Starting Chemo in JAN 2007

I keep meaning to post this... when I got back from Charleston I was so pleasantly suprised to find a pile of get well cards from so many of you. Thanks so much for thinking of me! 

Skye - Yippee! I'm so relieved that someone at your insurance company had a lucid moment. Now we're all hoping that you'll get some good results that you won't have to wait too long for!

Mel - I'm so sorry that you are in so much pain. I hope you get some releif soon. I am laughing over Tina saving lives at rehab!!!! I'm sure you are right about that!

Melia - what wonderful news! I completely understand that having your husband ill must be more difficult than going through it yourself. I'm so glad that the results were good. 

Joni - I would happily tape Monster Quest, but I no longer have a VCR, just a DVD player that doesn't record. I love the birthday cake, LOL.

I tried to make it to the chat last night, but was just too uncomfortable to sit at the computer. I watched CNN all night instead. 

jan ..... do not go back to work too soon you could end up like me man ...... I miss my afternoon naps

Take it easy girl !

Thanks for all the nice comments. I do feel tons better.

Joni, I am glad your rads are starting, and I hope they alleviate the pain. Skye and Rebecca, my hands aren't stiff, but I think every other joint is ... I start off walking kinda hunched, have to tell myself to stand up straight. It eases off as I move though. I think chemo did a real number on our joints. I do feel like it aged me.

Nice to hear from you, Sharon. And Caya, I am loving our Southern Calif weather. Sunny and 60's today. I feel badly for everyone who is cold and I really feel badly for the tornado folks.  I hope that isn't near any of you.

The race for president is really interesting, isn't it?  So different from what it looked like a couple of months ago. I am enjoying watching it all, and it's fun that no one has it locked up yet. So often it seems decided way in advance. This time I feel like my vote counts.

Melia

Oh, Nancccccccccccccccccy!  I am soooooooo sorry.  What a freaking mess.  Knock on wood, I have been so lucky to not have had any flooding where I've lived in the almost 6 years I've been here.  I heard there was a flood watch on TV yesterday.  About the only silver lining is you didn't begin your kitchen project yet.  That would have REALLY stunk.  Hang in there, girl.  Ativan!

I spent day 2, or is it 3, peeling wallpaper.  Took the kids to Barnes & Noble to get a book for good report cards and then to a local place called Max & Erma's for dinner...w/my good old $8 off coupon.  Cost us next to nothing and the kids made huge sundaes.

Got my pelvic ultra. report today.  Right side cyst is gone.  Left one has increased from roughly 2 cm to 4 cm's but she said it's "stable in appearance".  It is referred to as a complex cystic lesion in the report and she's confident it's not ovarian cancer.  She is booked through March and said to concentrate on healing my heart and we can talk more in March, but for now, all is well.  Also, my endometrial "stripe" is 12 mm now, which is the high end of normal.  It had been as high as 16 when they wanted me to do the D & C.  My onco. said a thickened lining is to be expected w/Tamoxifen, so I'm not going to stress about that.  I will not have a D & C w/out anesthesia and I won't do anesthesia, so I'm closing that book unless an emergency develops down there.  I think partly, my gyno. doesn't want to touch me w/a ten foot pole because she's scared I'll croak on the table.  I think I'll revisit these issues when I move.  DH is growing so impatient waiting for the offer.  They said by the end of this week...that leaves two days.  I hope they do it tomorrow.  He is climbing out of his skin.

Happy birthday Thor!  He gives you such joy, Joni, hope your pain goes away soon.

Great news Melia, I am so so happy for you.

Skye, you too, finally!  We are getting hit today with the storm, got to come home from work a half hour early.  I was going to go to church but decided to stay home.  It's a mess out there.  Now DS#2 at college is having car problems.  Hopefully it is just a fuse for the windshield wipers.  It is snowing so bad here that you gotta have them.  He is learning a little about cars there at college.  Have you ever tried to explain where the fuse box is in a car over the cellphone?

Mel, do you have fibromyalgia?  Why do you have so much pain?

Rebecca, now that you talk about Tamox and joint pain, you have me wondering since my hip and hip flexors have been bothering me so much lately...well I go see the onc next month, I'll add it to the list.  Hugs, and good nite

Melia,

That is such great news. I am so happy for you and Steve. That is the best news. What a sigh of relief.

Joni,

I hope you get major relief from the rads. About Ted’s support, I don’t think it hurt Obama. I am surprised it did not help him. We democrats in Ma like Ted Kennedy for the most part. I am surprised though that Kerry, Duval Patrick, our new governor, and Ted Kennedy did not endorse Hillary. I am also surprised that the Pats did not win. You never know.

Mel,

That’s strange. After you mentioned that your sheet said IIIa, I decided to look up my rating. I also thought I was stage II, and when I found it, It said stage II/III. Maybe yours was also on the line. I had no nodes but my tumor was 2.3 cm. One more thing we have in common besides age. I hope you feel better.

Rebecca,

Your bike riding excursion sounds like a lot of fun.

Caya,

I hope you are feeling better.

Lynn,

I hope you are feeling better too. Winter colds are no fun. Have a nice trip to Dr. Lee’s on Friday.

Tina,

I love DC. Meri lives there and I always enjoy visiting her and taking in some of the many sights. Last week we went to the National Portrait Gallery. That is a must. They have an unbelievable collection of historic portraits. The city is always so clean and I also love the extra wide sidewalks. I am crossing my fingers for you and Paul.

Skye,

Finally!!! At last you can get the Pet Scan. It shouldn’t have taken this long, but all’s well that ends well, I guess. I hope you are feeling better.

Jan,

How are you? I hope you are resting.

Rebecca,

I hear you on the tomaxifen and joint pain. My legs bother me when I first wake up, but subside as soon as I take a shower. The hot water running on them is quiet soothing. I also have been getting a charlie horse quite often in the morning when I first wake up,



Skye, Caya and anyone else getting lots of snow,

Do you have someone helping you shovel it away? It must be pretty and a good excuse to take a few extra days off.

Oh Nancy,

That totally sucks!!! I hope the water extraction company is there by now. I agree with Joni, you should find out if your insurance company covers a hotel stay. I am also sending lots of hugs.

Love,

Viddie

I have some happy news to share. Meri got accepted into three graduate schools, Marquette Univ, Seattle Univ, and Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU). We are so proud of her. I really thought she would have a hard time because each college only has between 25-30 seats. She chickened out of applying to Johns Hopkins, Georgetown and Columbia. She thought the competition would be too tough. I think that only applying to her match schools definitely helped.

She is now waiting to hear from her three last schools in Ma. They might be a bit tougher to get accepted to, but you never know. Right now her first choice is VCU. VCU is a state school and it is the cheapest school to attend, even as an out of stater- and the nursing school has an excellent reputation. She will be paying for this strictly through college loans, so she does need to think of the cost of attending. Our well ran dry. She is on her own now.

I just had to share the news. I am so happy for her. The only problem is that she and her bf are trying to get into the same schools or at least the same city and that might not happen. Her bf is applying to dental schools and is having a much tougher time at it. He only has had two interviews, and no acceptances yet. Most dental schools have picked their classes by now. It is much harder to get into a dental school, and Meri feels bad for him every time she gets an acceptance. If he gets waitlisted someplace, she will have to make a decision without knowing where he will end up. Oh well, they might have a long distance relationship for 3 years. Oh the woes of young love. I might delete this later.

My long awaited trip is coming up. We are going to St. Croix for two weeks, leaving on Monday. We rented a condo and I intend to have some fun in the sun. This is the first vacation we have had since this whole ordeal started, and so am so excited.



My 91 year old mother was admitted into the hospital today. Yesterday she got a bad cough and today she had a high fever. Today it spiked at 103.5. I am glad we made the decision to bring her to the ER. She has the flu and bronchitis. Apparently you can get the flu even if you have had the flu shot. Now I know she is being watch carefully and hopefully she will be able to be sent home in a few days. If they keep her longer, at least she will be in a safe place, I hope.

I did buy travel insurance, but hopefully she will fully recover or at least be on the amends before I leave on Monday and I will not have to worry about her. Oy, of all times!! I guess it is better she got sick today than the day before I plan to leave. MY dh might have had to go without me. I hope I do not sound too callous. I am very worried, especially because of her age, but I am trying to think positive- and maybe take an ativan tonight.

My sister lives near her, but they do not get along too well. Hopefully she will be able to help her out while I am gone.

Viddie, I hope your mom improves quickly. I am glad you have a vacation planned, and congrats on Meri!  Our deal with our kids was that we would pay for four years undergrad, and the two who did grad school did it with loans. And I don't even feel guilty.

Nancy, how awful!  I am so sorry. I hate disruption, and that is such a disgusting mess. Poor baby.

Jan, I would follow Viddie's advice. You are pushing yourself too hard, I just know it.

Question ... I have noticed that my hair on legs and underarms isn't growing much, after seeming back to normal after chemo. Also the hair on my head seems to have slowed down, though it is thick and healthy looking. What do you all think? 

And Joni, yes, celebrate Thor's bday. He is a hero. Our Thor is coming home over his bday weekend, and I am going to spoil him too. I think they both deserve it.

Tina, I hope tomorrow brings a generous offer and the end to your stress over the job issue. And you seem to have a very level head about your scans and what is worth surgery, what is not.

Ok, I am beat tonight. Valentine's Day in the floral industry is a trying time. I am going to take a hot shower and go to bed early.

Sweet dreams all,

Melia

well nancy ........ oh hun hope you get outa your mess . We here are shovelling out of snow ... tons of it !

I am a mad woman driving to work today . but its sooo pretty .

All of you Stay Safe .... all this weather hope no  one was hit by those nasty storms down south ....

Hugs everyone

Oh Nancy, major sympathy. I've had that happen in just the downstairs bath, can't imagine it over a whole floor. I hope the extractors came. Losing all your shoes, that is the worst! But knowing what a sweet person you are I somehow doubt God is mad at you...more like "when bad things happen to good people." These trials just come sometimes as we all know. If we could all be there with mops and buckets we would.



Viddie so sorry about your mom, hope they can manage that quickly for her at the hospital. But great news about your daughter! If she goes to Marquette she will be only an hour from me.



Tina it sounds like your exam reports all came out great! I had my d&c during my lumpectomy but I don't blame you or your docs for putting off surgery til after Herceptin effects are gone. Mine won't even let me have rotator cuff surgery til after. I get ovarian cysts all the time but I think less now that I'm post-meno.



Caya I'm glad you had someone come dig you out. We have a snowblower so Steve and DS take turns with it. I have to get out today to a pet food store or poor Grendel will starve.



I'm still wondering what made the insurance company do a turn-around. Like Rebecca said, a real person instead of desk ninny? Or did they look at the MRI again and say hmmm, she's got something there all right and she's HER2+, maybe we will get sued if we don't allow it? Guess I'll never know.



Melia hope you got that good night's sleep, and Joni, I wouldn't doubt the tamo is messing with your joints. -Skye

Viddie - Hope your mom is on the mend quickly. You need that vacation and I know you mom would want you to enjoy it! No, I don't have a home nurse. I do have a fabulous pcp literally a minute away that I know I can go in to see if I need to.

I did call the ps' office 1st thing this morning. They actually had one of the surgeons call me back which I thought was nice. They said it's fine and gave me a few tips that will hopefully get it to dry up soon. There's no sign of infection at all. It just won't stop bleeding. It's really just annoying.

On a postivie note I can ALMOST stand up straight. That's encouraging.

Rebecca - That worries me a bit about your hands trembling. It sounds like they are really bothering you. Are you taking anything for the stiffness? The sleepover party sounds like fun.

It must be birthday season. Both of my DD's have birthday's this month (just a day apart). We're having a joint birthday party for the first time. So we'll have a big group of 7 year olds and a big group of 4 year olds all in the same room. We're renting our neighborhood clubhouse because our house is way to small for that many kids (plus siblings and parents). It should be quite an event! Last year I was exhaused from chemo when we had their parties. Even with recovering from surgery this year will be so much better.

First of all, Nancy, I'm soooooo sorry about what happened to you! Poor baby, I can't imagine anything worse (except maybe more chemo, let's keep it in perspective), but of course God isn't mad at you. Nobody could be mad at you, least of all God. This is just bad luck, and as we all well know, life is NOT fair. I hope things are getting cleaned up, and that you have good insurance coverage.

I am feeling much better. You will not believe what was wrong with me this week - or maybe you will. Chemo brain strikes again. I DO have a lot of pain, and it is very complicated but there was nothing going on this week other than that I forgot to put my pain meds in my pill container (both morning and evening!), so I was getting no pain meds at all. What I was feeling was the actual pain that is there underneath the medication, which is bad enough, and a touch of withdrawal from the narcotics. I do take a very low dose, but evidently even that much can't be stopped abruptly without tapering off - so the bloodshot, tearing eyes, running nose, chills, nausea, etc. was the withdrawal, and the sudden increase in pain was the absence of any pain meds. I'll never do that again. It's awful - makes me feel like an old druggie, which I guess maybe I am, but not in that way. Thanks for all your concern. As to whether I have fibromyalgia, I've actually suspected that for years, but have never wanted to know. The rheumatologist and I talked about it, and said we could call it something else if I was more comfortable with that. He did put me on Lyrica, which is for fibromyalgia and also helps neuropathy.

Jan, glad you're standing up straight - quite an accomplishment - and that your ps didn't think the bleeding was anything to get alarmed about. The joint birthday party sounds like so much fun! Even more so since you aren't having it actually IN your house.

Skye, I doubt that the insurance company actually had a change of heart. If they had their way, we would all be dead so they wouldn't have to cover any more medical bills, scans, etc. More likely, the fact that the biopsy wasn't an option anymore put you into some new category, where they had to approve it - " No other way possible, so we have to do the Pet." That is my cynical opinion. But who cares, at least it's scheduled and approved.

Rebecca, I have the hand and finger stiffness and trembling also, and have trouble with typing the wrong keys, etc. - mostly in the morning. I thought it was med related, but perhaps not?

Sharon, glad you can appreciate the beauty of all the snow while you're driving to work. I would love it, though I'm out of practice at snow driving. Be safe.

Tina, I do agree with you that, at least in today's world, it doesn't matter where you get your nursing degree (or even what kind of a degree it is) as long as you have one. Employers don't really care, they are so desperate for warm bodies. So it makes sense to go with the less expensive option. It's might make a bit more difference with a NP degree, but they are in such demand, nobody will care whether she went to school at one place versus another. I disagree with you on the fact that nurses make good money, however. They don't around here, even with the shortage. Healthcare is squeezed too tight these days, and paying nurses well was the first thing to go when the crunch came. One of these days, maybe the tide will turn again, but for now, nursing is lots of responsibility for little compensation. If you don't love it, it's not worth it. Fortunately, I love it. Had I started earlier, I'd have been a nurse practitioner, but by the time I got out of nursing school, I had two degrees and loans from each to repay, so I went to work. Also, I hated nursing school so much that I couldn't stand the idea of going back to school. So, any word from the DC company on the job offer yet? Fingers are crossed for you.

Viddie, I'm thrilled for Meri, and hope she and the bf can find somewhere that wants them both. Long distance romances are so hard. Hope your mom is getting better, and that your trip goes off as planned. Keep us posted. You certainly deserve your time in the sun.

Joni, a belated happy birthday to Thor, and please give him a big hug for me. He is our hero, for helping you and cheering you up. Hope you're feeling better. Wish you could start your rads sooner, darn it.

Melia, Valentine's Day will soon be over. Hope you make it through and can rest up. Not much leg hair growth here these days either - I don't miss it, though.

Mary, Caya, Cindy, Lynn, Debbie...anyone else I missed, hope you are all well and staying warm.

I must go to bed.

Happy Birthday Nancy!!!!!!  The  big 50!  LOL'ing about the cane and sign.  Love it.  Are you being put up elsewhere or staying at a relatives place?  Is there anything I can do for you, bring to you?  Send to you?  I'm glad the cleanup is underway, somewhat.  You are right...compiled with Jeff's job, this is just over the top.  I sure know all about over the top.

Mel, too much about the pain meds.  I am not surprised.  When I was in FL last month my mother was sitting at the kitchen table eating cereal at 7 am and her eyes started closing, she dropped her spoon twice onto the floor, was incoherent.  I thought she was having a stroke.  My father and I were on our way out so we insisted she go over to the couch and lie down.  Not before she almost fell forward through the glass coffee table.  Guess what?  She had put Ambien 10 mgs in her pill case instead of Evista, both of which are oval.  She took an Ambien w/her breakfast and it knocked her out cold for 3 solid hours.  It was scary.  Really looked like as stroke.  So...forgetting meds, mixing up meds does happen.  And not just to seniors.  Re:  nursing salaries, you are right...they do vary across the country.  In Boston they do pretty well.  Although, pretty well is subjective.  Put it this way...well enough for a young girl to pay her rent, which many 20 somethings are unable to do in today's world.

Caya, ole Ted must have the gag order on the JFK story.  Wouldn't THAT be something.  Jackie must be rolling in her grave.

Jan, standing up is the first major milestone.  Another week and you'll be even that much better.  It so brings it all back for me, hearing your story.  Did you have extreme nausea after the surgery and did they keep you in this horrifically warm room so the "transplanted tissue" would "take"?  That, I swear was the worst part for me...being kept in an 80+ degree room after surgery when I was soooooooo severely nauseous. 

Well, today is D day.  Friday.  The DH was told he'd hear by today on the job.  Yesterday was extremely tense as we'd desperately hoped they wouldn't wait until the last day to let us know.  We are very much fearing they've changed their minds, like the last place.  If that happens, we seriously have to consider that someone is sabotaging his efforts to get a job....likely the one who sabotaged him at his last job and maligned him all over the internet.  We went to bed last night at 8 pm just to get Thursday over with, we were so on edge.  So today's Friday...  we'll see.

I am supposed to be the Mystery Reader at Jaclyn's class this am and my girlfriends want me to see Juno w/them at noon.  May be good to pass the time, but I really don't want the DH alone if things go bad...