Talking

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phoenix9873
phoenix9873 Member Posts: 35

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  • phoenix9873
    phoenix9873 Member Posts: 35
    edited January 2008

    Do you ladies think people want to here our stories or does it make them weird around you? Plus, do you talk about it or do you pretend to be normal..and say nothing. I personally don't mind talking about it to someone who understands but people who think they know and really don't, who then try to minimize what we go through everyday, make me just want to keep my mouth shut. Personally, I am proud just to get through the day with a shower, lol, so for those ladies who are back at work and life, I would like to say hooray for you. I am looking forward to the days when I don't have to explain why I look like death warmed over from just grocery shopping or cooking dinner.

  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited January 2008

    Yes, I talk about it but not as much as I did at first.  But...I am incredibly verbal and being diagnosed with bc did not change that.  All my true friends know me well enough to know that I NEEDED to talk about it.  I process things verbally.

    And, yes, sometimes I weird people out but I figure that's their issue, not mine. 

  • Hattie
    Hattie Member Posts: 414
    edited January 2008

    Some people want to hear and help, and some run the other way or are weird.  It took me a while to figure out who was who.  I found ways to tell my story and people to tell, and left the others alone. 

    Congrats on the showers and moving forward.  I'm impressed. It gets easier, but not fast as others think it should or as we hope.

    Take care,

    --Hattie 

  • iodine
    iodine Member Posts: 4,289
    edited January 2008

    I'm with the above great women, you learn after a while who will or won't listen and when they Want to hear what you have to share.

    I had my best friend who promised that when she had heard enough, she'd tell me.  It took a while since I had recon twice, but she listened every time--and finally I talke on here only.l

    If someone asks, I'll talk and sometimes I'll drop it in a conversation about feeling better off Tamox or since dx, but I leave it there unless they ask questions.

    Only things I really DO; remind women to do SBE and mammo.  I'v tried to convince one very intelligent woman to decrease her HRT, but she is certain that she could "only get breast cancer".  I was too shocked to ans. her. 

  • djd
    djd Member Posts: 866
    edited January 2008

    I have never been shy about my experience, but I have often worried that I would make the "listener" uncomfortable.   I have reached the point of being totally comfortable talking about BC - my dx and my experiences with others. 

    What I have found is that people I associate with are "ready" to hear about the journey in bits and pieces.  Young women seem to be drawn to the "how I found out" aspect, while people who have experience with other types of cancer are interested in engaging in the discussion of treatment, prognosis, etc.,

  • ginger2345
    ginger2345 Member Posts: 517
    edited January 2008

    At first I just told people on a need to know basis...my family, people I work with who would or could be affected. But an actual discussion wasn't the norm--my sis called every week. Bless her and she supported me by phone. Step 1.

    I work for my husband in an internal medicine office and I have placed a protocol for handling abnormal mammos, etc., that I think is helpful to our women dxed with bc or benign conditions. Occasionally, I speak with one of them sometimes revealing I had bc, other times not. That was step 2.

    I have been in PT for my back-- disc problem--for some time and didn't reveal to the PT my whole health history, but I felt nervous about that because he's really working with me. So I told him one day. I actually felt relief that I had been honest. That was about the time that Hoda (?) from one of the morning shows revealed she had bc and had kept it to herself. She said she met someone on a plane trip who told her "Don't hog your journey." That really stuck with me. I have that phrase at my office computer. I likened it to hiding my talents under the bushes. I've learned a lot and do have a lot to share. So I'm more open when it seems appropriate, but I don't bring up the topic. Step 3.

    BC is a journey.

  • ravdeb
    ravdeb Member Posts: 3,116
    edited January 2008

    I found that if I was open about it, then others would feel more comfortable. Most people around you want to know what is going on with you. I had friends call me while I was in treatment and asked me questions. If I didn't respond, some would pry a bit more.

    I also sent a medical update via e-mail to those who were interested..family, good friends and some friends who helped me find the right doctors, etc... This was helpful, too.

    And some friends would tell me..."today we won't talk about breast cancer" and so we don't. Truth is, I still talk about it. It is still on my mind. And well..my good friends have to realize that...it's the new me.

  • abbadoodles
    abbadoodles Member Posts: 2,618
    edited January 2008

    I guess I've said this on other threads several times, but I tell no one and I've found that works perfectly for me.  I really hate, hate, hate people knowing my business.

    OTOH, it's nice to have these boards to compare notes and get information which might otherwise be so hard to find.

    Tina

  • LoriFL
    LoriFL Member Posts: 1,557
    edited January 2008

    This is the beginning of my 3rd year with breast cancer. At first I talked about it but now I keep most info to myself. I don't think people really want to know the ins and outs of this disease.

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