BSE and irrational fear

Eventually it does go away.  You learn over time with followups, and you don't expect to find bc every time you have a fingernail break.

but it takes a while, hope it helps you to know you are Normal.

Terry, I can understand your fears. I think you know that avoiding BSE does not equal avoiding breast cancer. Try reminding yourself that finding any lump early ups your chances of survival. Out of sight is not out of mind. After you do your first few BSEs you'll be desensitized to the mental anguish you're feeling right now. You might still feel a twinge of anxiety, but it won't rule you. 

RavDeb, Your post is exactly why I chose to get a bilateral mastectomy. I found the lump myself through regular BSE.

Don't look at a self exam with fear, look at it as empowerment. YOU found your own cancer. You know your breasts better than anyone, and can be the first to know when things aren't right.

Don't feel like you have to do a traditional SBE, where you lie down on the bed and methodically palpate each inch of your breasts. Do it in the shower, when you're touching yourself anyway. It's much less threatening. Have some nice smelling, silky soap or body wash on your hands and glide them across your breasts. The goal is not to find a lump, but to be familiar with your breasts so you are aware when there are changes.

I found both of my breast cancers in this similar way. No one knows my breasts like I do. The first was six weeks after a normal mammogram. With my most recent cancer, my oncologist could not really feel what I was feeling, but he respected me enough to get the appropriate tests right away.

Good for you for finding your cancer, rather than waiting for the next mammogram. If you hadn't been feeling your breasts, your diagnosis could have been delayed. You did good! SBE, like a clinical exam and routine tests, all have their place and are all necessary.

Please feel proud and confident. Have an empowered relationship with your breasts, not a fearful one.

Anne