BSE and irrational fear

TerryNY

BSE and irrational fear

TerryNY

I discovered my lump myself, accidentally, after having a mammo 9 months before that showed nothing. 

I finished treatment on 9/26 and am in the process of deciding hormonal therapy.

My fear, as crazy as it sounds, is that I can't touch my breasts for what I might find.  Is this normal??  I know I should be doing self exams but I just can't..will this feeling ever go away? 

iodine

Eventually it does go away.  You learn over time with followups, and you don't expect to find bc every time you have a fingernail break.

but it takes a while, hope it helps you to know you are Normal.

ravdeb

I had the opposite problem and was checking my breasts every day in the shower. My onc told me to calm down and make myself do it once a month only. I have relaxed and sometimes forget to check now. It's funny how that happens after a while. Give yourself time. I also found my lump myself...

NoH8

Terry, I can understand your fears. I think you know that avoiding BSE does not equal avoiding breast cancer. Try reminding yourself that finding any lump early ups your chances of survival. Out of sight is not out of mind. After you do your first few BSEs you'll be desensitized to the mental anguish you're feeling right now. You might still feel a twinge of anxiety, but it won't rule you. 

RavDeb, Your post is exactly why I chose to get a bilateral mastectomy. I found the lump myself through regular BSE.

Bliz

I checked my breasts on an irregular basis and had mammograms every one to two years.  I was looking at my breasts last Spring, thinking that the right one looked longer than the left.  I could find no lump. 

A couple of months later the tumor was found, by mammogram, in the right breast.  The doctor could not even find it on physical examination.  Still somehow I think I knew when the one breast looked longer.  Listen to our guts!!

I think we change dramatically and a lot of stuff we used to do we cant.  Here is my weird one.  Used to love to read the horoscope.  Just for fun.  Cant read it anymore.  Not sure what that is about.

AnneW

Don't look at a self exam with fear, look at it as empowerment. YOU found your own cancer. You know your breasts better than anyone, and can be the first to know when things aren't right.

Don't feel like you have to do a traditional SBE, where you lie down on the bed and methodically palpate each inch of your breasts. Do it in the shower, when you're touching yourself anyway. It's much less threatening. Have some nice smelling, silky soap or body wash on your hands and glide them across your breasts. The goal is not to find a lump, but to be familiar with your breasts so you are aware when there are changes.

I found both of my breast cancers in this similar way. No one knows my breasts like I do. The first was six weeks after a normal mammogram. With my most recent cancer, my oncologist could not really feel what I was feeling, but he respected me enough to get the appropriate tests right away.

Good for you for finding your cancer, rather than waiting for the next mammogram. If you hadn't been feeling your breasts, your diagnosis could have been delayed. You did good! SBE, like a clinical exam and routine tests, all have their place and are all necessary.

Please feel proud and confident. Have an empowered relationship with your breasts, not a fearful one.

Anne

Fitztwins

I am constantly feeling myself up. We all have some many rituals or phobias that creep into our minds.

I got rid of all my bras? WTH?

Janis