please help

Ulla, I just read your posts again.  It really is amazing what you've been through in your short life.  You are truly an inspiration to me and to everyone who is blessed enough to know you.  Take care, sweetheart.  You are constantly in my thoughts today.  Post when you're able to let us know how your tx went.

Love you!

Karen

hi all lovely ladies..

i just finished late lunch with hubby,,,now and run to be here with u ,,having a nice cup of tea ,,,

i believe that all ur prayers worked with me very strongly today ,,i couldnt sleep ,but the whole treatment was really the easiest one till now my tough ,old onk, was even so nice today ,,i was not scheduled to meet her today but she came to have alook at me when i was on treatment to ask about me and how i feel..

evrything went really well,,thank u all for everything,,,

she refused even to write any antidepresent,,,no sleeping pills,,,she said that as the all pills that i took and been changed twice till now didnt make any difference so she believes that it will not be right to toxin my body with more chemicals and drugs,,she said i need to work with psychological help that she will transfere me to them soon to get proffetional help without concentrating on more chemicals and drugs,,

i feel like that i am believing her in wat she said it looked logical..

about my sadness,,i feel it is lil bit less than yesterday as it was combined with the fears of the 2nd treatment,,,

i asked her again with my tears filling my eyes about the pregnancy again and she said that be4   2 years only they were giving the females with estr+ve cancer only tamoxifin for 2 years with no chemo,,and sice short period of time they started to give them chemo..so it is possible that i can take the tamoxifin for 2.5 years then stop it to get pregnant and then i can continue with it ..but she said that there is nothing for sure at all...

today the only really sadness for me was that lady who was in the next bed in my room,,,she looked really so healthy and beautifull i thought her age was about mine ...and when she started to tell me her story i couldnt stop crying ,,she had a fibroma since about 6or 7 years they checked it and there was nothing with cancer in it...in 2003 she felt a solid edge beneath that fibroma and she asked her stupid dr..he couldnt feel it ..after months she insisted to re check it ,,,they results came with a 3cm tumor grade 4 with 1 lymph node involvement,,she had a lumpectomy ...and chemo 2 rounds and rad 33 rounds,,,and tamoxifin then she felt that its ok...

in april 2006   she felt sick suddenly and she had through up and asked her dr,,who thought its due to some food poisonning ,,but it happened again ,,then they made her a full blod check that didnt show anything then decided a ct scan which came with spread to the liver ,,lung ,,bones ...

she is now in chemo again taxol and femara,,and something else i dont remember ,,she looked so strong and she was a real inspiration for me to keep fighting no matter wat will happen after that....

she still in work ,,she works as a joniour judj and she look so young while she is in her fifties ,,,she is a real angel ,,she heared me tell ing her everything abouit my mom and family and all..she cried with me and hugged me saying that she can be my mom if i accept her as she have no family or kids ,,she promised to keep calling me ,,,

i loved her strength and hope ,,,she was so busy shecduling her next trip to scotland for a short vavction ,,she told me that she used to spent her weekends in differnt short trips here or there ,,,

ooooo did i wrote all that??????????????????

love u all girls

Oh Ulla! God has heard our prayers and has sent an angel to you! What a lovely , compasionate lady. I cried reading her story.

And see Ulla , there might be a chance for a child in the future. Never , ever give up hope. Always believe. And I'm so glad tx went well this time. And see , God even gave the mean onc a pinch to be nice and gentle with you!lol Some docs don't believe in "over" medicating , which is fine , but she needs to get you in touch with the doc she talked about to you.

We can all take a look at you and the friend you made today , and gather strengh from you both. Ulla , I am still in complete awe of you. Take care my dear sister.xxxx Melody

Thank goodness your tx went smoothly today, Ulla.  I'm so happy!!  It doesn't surprise me though--you had so many people praying and pulling for you!  What a blessing that you found that lady to be your surrogate mom.  You really needed someone there in person to talk to who can relate to what you're going through.  How wonderful!  Please keep reminding your onc to refer you to a mental health professional.  Since the meds your onc prescribed haven't worked, it may be best to talk to a specialist.

Take care sweetheart and get some good rest!

Love and hugs,

Karen

dear all lovely girls ..thank u for all ur support..

i really need to sleep..i am going to be in bed with minutes..

derest sue this pain is wat i used o have all the time since my operation,,,i used to have it all the time and it never let me a moment ,,i dont know about other ladies ,,but i hve it above and ender the scar area not in it,,,it seems to be realted to the muscles that have been damaged due to the mastectomy as my surgeon explained to me wen i asked her,,,she said it will tke a long long time be4 healing but she assured me that there is nothing dangerouse with it,,,she was so keen to make sure that i am doing as much as i can of those simple excersizez  that they gave me in the hospital after the operation ,,dear sue these r really helpfull to keep the whole sacr area movabile and active with the less stifness all around the scar,,,

i dont know if u r doing them or not but trust me they work with me,,,

now i need the bed really,,,goodnight alllllllllllllll its 9:45 pm here and i am sleepy in a very strange way ,,may be the steroids too decided to be kind with me this time added to all the nice things today????dont know and hope so,,smiles....

love u all ,,,

Oh Lisa! What a relief. I was praying that you would get a NED report and you did! Wonderful! I am so happy for you. What a fright to think that they might have cancelled your appointment and made you go through this all over again for another day. I am glad you were assertive and made them see how determined you were. Annoying that you had to do the run around to get your films but it was all worth it in the end. Now you can gear up for your recon surgery. You are so inspiring.

And Ulla...I was praying for you and thinking about you all through your treatment - just like all the other ladies here - and it was a better one for you! Your wonderful, inspiring post made me cry all over again. What a blessing to meet that sweet woman who offered to be your mom. She will be such a support to you and you will inspire and encourage her. I will pray for her too. Even your heart-of-stone onc softened a bit - amazing that she came in to see you during your treatment. I am so glad she is going to refer you onto a mental health professional - grab all the help you can get! And we will always be here for you to vent your heart out. I hope you have a long and peaceful, healing sleep. Ulla, keep believing and hoping. Listen to Mel's wise and encouraging words - many things are possible.

Sue, it's always a delight to hear from you. I'm so sorry though that your rib is giving you curry. From what I have heard, aches and pains through chemo are all part of the rotten journey. I just loved the photos of your gorgeous boys. They grow up so quickly...sigh!

Karen, Auntie Em, Sue, Ulla, Wren, Poppy, Shirlann and everyone - much love to you all and thank you for existing and being here.

gb 

Popppy - what a priceless photo of your boy in the cap - I did chuckle over it - it's so funny!

Sue, I know how busy you are and how tempting it is to just fall into bed at night or do anything rather than exercise your arm but it really will help. I am speaking ot myself here too!

Hugs,

gb 

Poppy and Karen , I meant to tell you both , your boys are soooo cute. Karen , it would be soooo easy to spoil that little guy. May he always be a Mama's boy! And Poppy , don't worry , keep the hat , in a few years he'll find it and say "hey , what a cool hat"!lol

Ok honeygirl, sending prayers your way for your sister.  I'm sure she is scared. I know I was.

Ulla!  Our prayers for you were heard, and an angel was sent for you to be your friend and support there.  So many of us want to be there, but can't so this was, I believe an answer to a prayer.  I sure hope you get some good sleep and feel even better when you awaken.

Sue, I don't know much about ribs hurting, but I was told to massage my scars so they don't 'stick' to the ribs or whatever.  I was told to move them around a bit and do some stretching every day.  What did your doctor say about it?

Lisa, I'm so glad you had a good mammogram report.  That must really feel wonderful.

I have a picture in my mind of Shirlann and Cleo the kitten taking in the shows and playing 2up in Las Vegus!

gb 

Oh Sue , you know , I just remembered , I did have a nagging pain in my breast area when I was doing chemo. I thought then , that maybe it was the chemo effecting the surgery that I had just had. After my chemo was over , It went away.

Hello to my sisters!! Love and hugs! It's funny, even when I don't get a chance to post, I find myself thinking about each and everyone of you, when I am driving to work, or doing something around the house. I find it amazing the connection that we all have!  I love it!

I must be getting a bug...I wanted to get online and view everyone's pics (since I am not able here at work) and I took my daughter to work at Subway, came home and fell asleep from 5:30pm until 9:00pm!! Woke up ate and then fell back asleep until this morning!! I still feel tired, and congested. Probably a bug coming on.

Sue, I had my mastectomy after my chemo ended.  But I, like Mel have pain in my surgical area quite often.  But mine is more of the shooting pain that goes away quickly.  Just watch it, if it continues, ask your oc.

Ulla...you sound soooo much better!! I am so happy that you found that "angel"! That is God's doing you know?! We were all praying for you and look...he brought this special angel to you when you needed her the most!  I can see how much it has helped just by your post!  God works in our lives everyday!!

Gb...thanks for all of your support.  Yes, I was very diligent..I was not going to let them tell me to reschedule..no way!  I am a very independent stubborn lady..haha!

Melody....I have already said a prayer for your dear sister.  Gosh, tears came to my eyes, reading that.  I just remembered how difficult it is WAITING!  That was the hardest part!  I pray everything goes well for her, and she gets a clean bill of health!  We are in for some warmer weather!  woohooo!

Wren, Sheila..thanks to you too for your good wishes.

Karen...thanks and just think, in a matter of just weeks...you can say..I AM DONE WITH CHEMO!  We will celebrate with you!

Val...thanks to you too!  Anyone I missed...sorry...u know I love and appreciate all of you!

xoxo

Lisa