please help
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Oh, poor Poppy! I hope the dr gives you the all clear and that nothing is hurt except your pride. Please post soon and let us know how you are.
Where is our sweet Sue? Working her fingers to the bone probably! Hope to hear from you soon gorgeous girl.
I agree with you Poppy - I LOVE snow too! I am sitting here sweating and having hot flushes/flashes and cursing the heat and humidity. I wish I could teleport back to Ontario where I was able to leap outside into the glorious white stuff whenever I got too hot. I was born in a much cooler climate and I don't think my body has ever adapted to heat.
Just on a serious note, on the LE thread, several women have recommended a book about preventing and/or treating this dreaded thing. I have had a bit of a scare after flying, with my arm swelling a bit and feeling achier than normal. I want to do everything possible to avoid LE and think I will try to get this book. It's called "Lymphedema: A Breast Cancer Patient's Guide to Prevention & Healing" (2nd edition) by Jeannie Burt & Gwen White. One reader said that deep breathing is hugely beneficial in stimulating the major lymphatic vessels and this helps the lymph to drain away.
Hugs,
gb
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Poppy, you poor thing! I've taken a tumble in a public place before. How embarrassed I was! I'm glad you're seeing your surgeon today. I'm sure you're fine, but it never hurts to have a professional take a look.
gb, I loved playing in the snow last weekend. I've had such horrible hot flashes lately, it felt good to be in a cold climate. My toes did get very cold at one point though--the other mom and I had to go into the ski lodge for a while to warm up.
I imagine our sweet Sue is still at work. So much for listening to the doc and taking it easy!
Melody, I hope your power is still on and that you're not snowed in! It's pouring rain here. Honestly, I'd prefer snow at this point.
Have a great day, ladies!
Love and hugs,
Karen
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Oh My Gosh my dear sisters
you have set me off crying .... I have struggled so much these past 2 days....with sad sad SAD FREAKING SAD THOUGHTS!! and it is not chemo related..I just feel really low in a hole.hooolllllllllllllleeeeeeeeee .....
I am sure it is to do with the turn of the year and all that was loaded on to the back end of 07.... I feel like I am letting or my body has let everyone down....and I am very erm erm.... out of touch with the world....theres a word for that...I had it when I had post trauma...god I hate memory loss...
Anyway ....it is the past 2 weeks also that my arm ...well I realise that it is for life....and it is a damn nuisance to be in pain when it smacks you into reality...I have one breast and a bad right side....and I am hitting the deck with the tolerance of this thing....
gb ...I wil so be buying that book...thankyou so much...isnt it a worry....a real worry....I was thinking of taking my boys to Florida in the Summer...in case...in case.....but I envisage problems with my arm...
And why should we live our lives in case ...in case....because of the control this has.... I AM SO THINKING THAT I ONLY HAVE 24 MONTHS TO LIVE....and it is the reality that I am trying to adjust to....humanely is this possible...when we are supposed to be so bloody young....
I cant deal with it ... I AM SORRY .....I have tried to put it down to chemo...buyt it feels different...it just is LIFE .....
I have been to work today....been busy ...inventory ...programming tills... doing rotas....deliveries... orders... banking ...blah blah...and I feel like all the while I have gotten this thing tapping me on the shoulder....even when I drive home....tap tap tap tap...OMG I am going mental....I am going to turn round and curse it in a minute....
Well I will go make a coffee...it is bloomin freezin out tonite...I am off tomorrow...will go and see doc for some more pills..whooppeeee..NOT....
I WANT MY MENTALITY BACK....
Much Love from a very very freaked up girl!!!
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Poppy !!!! so glad youre OK...I really thought you were out partying all night long.....I hope the pain wears off......and that you are resting!! xxxx
Do you count all your phone stock and everything at work...god I loathe stock take....absolutely...it is the bain of my job.....YAK xxx
I love ya xxx
Karen...Please post piccy of trip if you are able to...I have missed you so much...I miss everyone...what are you all doing to me!!!
Much Love xxx
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YOU ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT UNDERSTAND XXXX
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Sue, we do understand. Just keep on following the yellow brick road and you will get to the Emerald City where all will be grand.
Sheila
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Hi Sue
! Yes it is the chemo- and everything else you mention! Sue , think of it. You are a young , vivacious girl , loving life , having fun , and then BOOM-bootface sucker punches you into a life of uncertainty. And the two things that help alot , are the drugs and time. We all visit the "dark places" but you can't stay there to long. And please , one of the most important things , don't loose your sense of humor.
Then of course as you heal , there is always something to remind you of the bootface. Like , I'm starting to feel better , but theres more chemo.Sucks. Or , chemo is over , oh yeah , I'm still bald.Sucks. Or , My hair is coming in nicely. Oh yeah , I have to go visit my onc for my "just in case" test and check up. Sucks! We have to learn to cope with this. Make sure you have the drugs , always your sense of humor and unfortunately time. I say unfortunately because we can't speed it up. The more time we can get between bootface and nothing being wrong , the more secure we feel.
And yes , the passing of one year into the other sent me to a dark place. But , I'M BACK!!
And then I have to deal with all the hiccups in life that has nothing to do with bootface. Like driving in a blizzard to work , only to find out we didn't need to do inventory! I guess "someone" missed an e-mail from corporate headquarters in England saying our cycle counts were so good , no need for inventory. And as I type and look out my front window , it has stopped snowing , the sun is out
but now I see the snow plows have taken out my mail box!!
It a hap , hap , happy day , tootle oodle-oodle-oodle , oodle lay , the sunshines bright and the worlds alright its a hap , hap , happy day! Where are my happy pills!!!lol Love you Sue
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Well my surgeon was as caring as ever NOT!
She is just like a surgeon on a UK program called holby city (You know Sue, the one with the short hair)
She just said well you are prob just aching from the fall try and be more careful!!! Ow ok so I'll stop throwing myself on the floor then! Lucky you said that!
Crazy woman, but she says Im doing ok, the boobs look fine but my back is more swollen than ever! I feel so deformed! I look like Quazimodo.
Poor you Suzy remember this is the most depressing day of the year so don't fret. i have not stopped today either. Business plans for 2008 organizing staff reviews and ow yes serving customers. The joy of retail!!!! -
Yes Sue I have to do a box count every week.
I am always loosing memory cards and bluetooth headsets. Pikeys in Poole! -
Oh my gosh Poppy!lololol Thank God for your sense of humor. You definately need it with a doc like that. You should of said that to her.lol
Now , the swelling on your back , is that lymphodema? If not , what is causing it?
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Our inventory would have been me counting wip(work in process) If the "kit" of parts were not used yet , then we just check the quantity the computer shows that was left after they pulled the kit out of stock. If it doesn't "jive" then we have to count the parts. But they do regular cycle counts in the stock room all year and they fix alot then.
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Dorothy, its Aunty Em - hold on, I'm coming....................I know the storm is really brewing right now but I heard clear skies are coming, hang tight.
Love ya,
Aunty Em
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ahhhh ....you are all such reality ...hahaha...it is so good to know you understand me...I am very grateful.....xxx
Well yes Poppy ...I never actually thought that this is the worst day of the year....oh to be the worst day of the year without..this...god I wish I had counted my blessings....so thats what I need to do....plateua and count my blessings from a 12 foot storey building instead of a groundfloor....
Yes that is it...its January and cold and dark and chemo and pain and OH GOD I WISH I WISH......I need a tonic!!!
Melody ....you explain things so well....I could not have put it any better.....and of course .....I really worthy your post about time etc....it is tremendous to know ..... that you understand...
LOL..Poppy...I dont watch Holby City...but I can sure imagine your surgeon...cheeky bint...lol....I do hope youre swelling goes down...it is not a long chalk since we both came out of surgery really....and you had big surgery....xxx...oh I do so remember the warmth I had when you posted from your hospital bed....I was sat here smiling and so happy you were ok...what a way to come so far in no time at all!!!
...Pikey Poole...hahaha...its pikey everywhere....even the pikes that come in and steal half a dozen donuts...lol...I had one pike in this morning with three vouchers for money off that were out of date....I told him he couldnt use them...and he threw them at force towards me over the counter...only to have them fluttr back in his face as he stomped off....HAHAHAHA
I have decided I want recon or something put there....I cant wear any of my tiny tshirts now ...without being drawn to the damn disfiguration...it didnt bother me in the beginning....now I feel like half woman....
I guess this is the journey ....I need a different focus to hang on to...I need something ....just something....xxx
Much Love xxx
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Aunty Em.....
....I just seen you running over the mountains towards me...god it was so real...and the red shoes flashed right across in my head...and Dorothys red lips....OH MY .... If I watch that film I would cry all the way through right now...xx
I am going to look on youtube after for a clip lolol
I am so so so SO strengthened by you all xxx
It is not chemo ..I think it is a bottleneck....its all unreal....it must be the turn of the year.....I love to declutter my head....and for the first time I cant because I have a fatloaded haversack dragging me down...I am going to find a ditch to throw it in....with all my MIGHT XXX
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Maybe I will get a second job and work even harder to escape...just part time ..... or maybe a new hobby...I just dont know....I just need something to balance ...something different...yes its def that new year feeling ...lol
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/london/7168206.stm
gosh this was lucky xx
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Oh Sue what a horrible thing to have happened. Thank God no one was killed. It sounds like the staff really did a great job evacuating. And the poor people who were having surgery!
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Gosh, is that your hospital Sue?
I came by to wish you a Happy New Year!
Tender -
Sue, this is the year you finish your chemo and rads! Last week you weren't going to finish it until next year! Does that make sense?! The winter solstice has passed and the sun is headed back to you in the northern hemisphere - I will give it some pushes to get it there quicker - warmer days and healing are ahead. Each day you are getting closer to feeling well again.
Poppy - your doctor needs to have some empathy lessons! Or maybe acting lessons so even if she doesn't feel for you she can act like she does - silly woman! Most of the people I know who had a doctor for a parent say that they rarely got any sympathy for their ills as they were growing up. Their doctor parent must have been all out of that from giving it out to their patients all day. Anyway, you will get lots of it here! Hope you feeling better by now. (You should have seen me slipping and sliding on the black ice in Canada - must have looked hilarious!)
Where is beautiful Ulla? I hope you are resting and feeling ok. When is your next treatment? Thinking of you up there in the north - the sun is coming back to you too, but please feel all our warm loving thoughts beaming to you while it's still cold outside.
Karen - loved hearing about your holiday to the that beautiful Christmas card place. Doing positive, happy things like that must be good for your healing.
Much love to everyone,
gb
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Happy New Year Tender xxx...Thankyou so much for coming to see me... xxx thankyou with all my heart xxx
This isnt my hospital...I go to Christies in Manchester....Royal Marsden is huge....how very very fortunate that not all was lost ....and how very very sad ....isn't it dreadful when things like this get wiped out ...and yes Melody...didnt they do a brave job all round.....could have been tragic.... xxx
Well I am still in my uniform...I am going to have something to eat...just been watching David on one of his PC games....and I only have to watch for 10 secs ...I get motion sickness...oh my god I feel travel sick and dizzy....hahaha..I never learn....xx
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That's dreadful about the hospital Sue. So glad nobody was killed. Imagine being under an anaesthetic and being operated upon and being woken up half way through to be evacuated! It's something that you don't even think about in the moments before you lose consciousness. Poor people...
Hugs,
gb
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gb...do you know what when I got in from work earlier.....I was having a brew..lol...a cuppa....and sat in the back garden in the dark cold air....and I pictured baring all to the sun to heal...thinking how nice it would be ...to feel the warmth....I felt impelled by this...and the talk of pushing some sun and the thought of warmer weather...sounds so nice.....and yes I will finish this year....with all this...and tread warily at first...but I know you all inspire me with your thoughts and bravery ....and I god willing will come out the other side...please please....I hate slipping in that there hole...It is very dangerous sometimes...
I am going to count my blessings....I am really going to count them and live in the moment....with blinkers on if necessarry ....after I have had a one to one with bootface....by the scruff of its neck....
I am very fortunate ......xxx I know deep down I am xxx
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((((((((((Sue))))))))))
gb
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I want to go swimming in the sea on a nice hot sandy beach...the sea will heal...I love the sea xx
Well....closest I get right now is a radox bath...haha..I will go see if I have some nice bath salts.....and shut my eyes and pretend xxx
Anyway ..I had a god awful dream last night...I dreamt I was at my sons last school ...junior school...telling the teachers thankyou so much for giving them the best in life....and how I would never forget them....I went in to tell them about my illness...but they already knew.....and then they got some hair wax/cream out and started combing it through my wig...until it was a style that I liked....before I became ill.....
I HATE BAD MIXED UP DREAMS.....
I am going for my dip in the sea now.....xxxx
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Sue, You will have to check into getting the prosthesis to wear in your bra to fill out the 'flat' side. I actually have some 'rubber boobs' that I got after my first lumpectomy because I was noticably lopsided (a-cup on the left and c-cup on the right). The boobs were used to fill out the small side. I am not sure how the cost of prosthesis are handled in the UK but my insurance paid for mine as well as the bra's to wear them in. If you were any where near my size I would box up the 'rubber boobs' (I got 2 of them) and mail them to you since I don't need them anymore
. I am thinking about donating the boobs to the local wig bank for women who don't have the insurance to pay for them.
Sheila
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Oh Sue , that sounds wonderful. I have the lake here. I love being there on a nice sunny , warm breeze blowing day. Lets all lay our blankets on the warm sand and just lay there and relax and feel the sunshine heal us...watch out for the seagull!lol
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Oh Mel...I aint got up from my slouch position yet to the bath....how did ya know I was still sitting here ..hahaha...I need some sun..I am desperate for some healing rays!!!....Your lake sounds divine....so thats one thing I am going to do...look forward to warm weather and make the most of every little ray....I am right out of sorts tonight...
Sheila....I am going to speak to Claudia (I dont want to be in Claudias club...the ever so lovely b/c nurse) I am going to ask her about prothesis....I am sure they do them on the nhs....she did gauge on it before surgery...but I backed right off...and didnt even look..in denial as always...I will let you know how I get on .....do they look real etc....do they keep straight....I am getting more and more aware of nothing being there...and even when I brush on it accidently it feels sad and is indeed still tender...maybe all this turmoil is mental healing....
Do you know what ...this journey is really really hard right now ... I need to put my thoughts back in their compartments....
I am going to look up prothesis ....after I have mustered a bath....it is 930pm
I am so sorry for bombarding this all to you xxx
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Mine stayed straight but only because it was hollow on the back and my 'original' boob fit in the back to hold it straight. If you get a good fitter and match the bra and the boob to you it will work wonders. My mom will wear one only occasionally when she wants to look good, but of course she is 68 yrs old, retired and doesn't need to dress up everyday for work. I have threatened to send them with my husband in his truck to have something to play with while he is on the road (ha ha). They do look somewhat real, the ones I have have a small shaped nipple on it. They are not really rubber but a silicone that when you first put it on, it is chilly but warms up quickly. If you check out the not chose to reconstruct forum you will see others who handle this issue all the time.
cheer up Sue, It will get better, I promise!
Sheila
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Oh Sheila , thats funny.lol I can just see you sending your dh off and as hes on the road , opens his lunchbox , and wah-lah ,BOOBIES!lol
Sue , I hope you are soaking in your nice warm bath , lay back , close your eyes , and let all the negative energy flow out , deep breath(not under water) , let it out , and breath in all the positive vibes we all are sending you. And yes , try and have a relaxing evening. Just chill with the kiddles.xxxx Mel
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My DH is a long haul trucker, he usually is home Sat and Sunday only, but this weekend he came in late Friday night and did not go out again until this morning. Boy was I ready to see him leave. I am so used to sleeping alone, when he turns over in bed he wakes me up. He is headed to Pennsylvania where the snow is heavy right now. There was about 6 inches of snow just 30 miles north of me last night at the higher elevations. We had temps in the low 20s this morning and expecting around 10 the next 2 mornings here.
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