My Sister My Friend & Cancer

I don't have a sister but I can offer this advice--Listen to her.  Be supportive, don't judge her choices and decisions, Listen, call and ask how she is, and be ready to hear things that are tough, but continue to call on a regular basis.  Listen.

My best to both of you.  I had my best friend and she Listened.  No one else would, except the women here.  Please offer her a link to this site for her information and to allow us to support her, too.

Please come as often as you like and hopefully, we won't take so long to respond.

You are also welcome to post in the newly diagnosed section--lots more traffic there and we can ans. more of your questions.

Hugs.

Hi Lilsista, great gift, it will mean the world to her--consider throwing in a massage, too!  LOL

Hi Colleen,

My younger sister is 3 years out of active treatment for IDC.

June 13 ,2005. You took me back to that awful , uncertain scary time when she was first dx'd. I am very lucky I live within a mile of her. We are very close also, she is my best friend. Today she is doing good . Please continue to come back, we walked where you are about to go. I promise once there is a plan for battle you will feel a

little better,  something is being done . Send her cards, call her , you will know what to do . listen , listen, listen. Let her be fearful, angry what ever she needs. When you are sad afraid angry feel useless

(and you will) dump it here. We will be here for you.

Hugs to you and your Sister,

deese's sister Carrie

There are many ways to show support. I have 4 sisters and it is amazing how each reacted differently to me. One has ignored me, the other has called me daily, another calls every Friday at 8pm and the other just looks me and tears up!!!  They have all agreed to join a study called the "Sister Study". It is something that they can do to support me and the cause. If any one is interested the web site is info@sisterstudy.org or call 1-877-4sister. The study sounds very interesting and if the shoes were on the other foot I would definately join the study. Not too much time involved but might really show something someday.  Quinnie

Colleen, After I was diagnosed I found 2 of my sisters (each very different) would not talk about BC. My oldest sister calls frequently to talk about how I feel, what is going on, how my doctor visits were etc. I personally like to talk about it and welcome any of my sisters to call and ask about the details. I feel better when  can talk about it even though I hate it and wish I weren't in this place. So it is OK not to keep it together. That shows how much you care and when My sister cried I felt the love and support from her.

Take care, Quinnie

Colleen,



Thank you from all of us with breast cancers who have sisters. While mine are not engaged, it gives me hope and strength to see someone like yourself who is wih her dear sister.



Personal time, listening, touching in life is a gift given for eternity.



Thank you,

Tender

Losing a sister is very hard.... I know.  My 46 year old sister went suddenly two years ago (from an asthma attack).  I can't imagine watching one of my sisters losing her fight with this awful disease.. that would be very tough.  I have no words for you sissy other than to say that being there for your sister at this time in her life has to be one of the most important things a sister can do... just being there with her.  The chemo may help her... hang in there.

My sister was just diagnosed with breast cancer; I am not sure in what stage, as I just learned of this last night. They did a biopsy and she will find out the results next week.  I am devastated and feel very, very helpless and very afraid.  She is my only sister and even though we live very far apart, she in Pennsylvania and myself in Arizona, I want to help her. I called her last night and left a long voice mail msg that I would always be here for her.

What now?

Hi,

am a west indian that resides in USA ,my one and only sister is in the west indies and is going through chemo. it hurts so bad that i cannot be with her to give support .though ,i call very often i still feel empty and helpless.  i cannot hug her, and comb her hair and simply just be with her.please advise as to how to handle a situation like this

Thanks Colleen for the kinds words and encouragment. We just found out yesterday that the breast cancer was confirmed and my sister has to have a lumpectomy (not sure if that is spelled correctly), as well as radiation and chemo.  The good news, if you can call it that, is the docs think they found it early and she has stage 1.  I sent her flowers today and a card.  We are all devastated, but have hope. I say a lot of prayers and think of my sister constantly, wishing I could be with her.

You hang in there as well.  I know your sister will be looking forward to your upcoming visit.

Tender,

You are so nice.

Sisters.....go ahead and cry!!! It's o.k. to cry! She needs to cry....you get her started with your tears! It feels good to cry and let it out....especially when you first find out, or when your hair falls out, etc., etc.

My little sis had bc 9yrs ago. I went to Texas from Florida to be with her after her last three chemo treatments. The first time she pulled off her wig and I saw her bald head, I just burst into tears and so did she.

Then, 9 years later....she is here for Christmas ('07). I wasn't home when she got here but, when I got home and went into my bedroom where she was wrapping presents on the floor, she looked up at me and saw my bandana head and just started crying. So did I! We hugged, shook it off and carried on.

Listening is good advice. When she wants to talk about it, talk about it and when she doesn't, don't.

Hugs girls,

Traci

my sister was diagnosed with lobular cancer in september 2007.she went through 4 months of chemo(every 2 wks)and now will be getting mastectomy next week.she was doing great with the chemo till the last treatment.she stopped sleeping and became very anxious.we took her to dr who gave her anti anxiety and sleep meds.helped a little bit but shes still in a fog and worried  and stressed about minor issues.i cant describe it,shes just not herself mentally and my brother in law and i dont think shes mentally capable of having surgery right now.we are going for pre surgical tues at sloan and someone is going to talk to her.we try so hard to keep her up and tell her that all she needs to worry about is herself,but i know shes just totlly freaking out cause she feels like shes losing control of everything.i just pray that we can snap her out of it and get her to feel that she will be ok.what a nightmare this has been

thank you for responding.ive tried since the beginning to have my sister speak to someone.ive given her phone #s of people who have been in her situation.she was doing well,but now shes mentally not stable,hopefully tomorrow someone can help her when we go for pre surgical testing.how scary is this, she had mammography in jan and in sept ,8 months later ,she finds this 9 cm tumor in her breast.hope your sister is doing ok

Well ladies, the time has come.  My sister is having surgery tomorrow and I cannot be there.  Thankfully, my parents will be, so that helps.  This disease is so devastating for everyone.  I have all of these crazy thoughts going through my head and had a terrible dream last night that my sister was misdiagnosed and it was more serious than the doctors originally thought and that I lost her. 

I pride myself on being strong and being able to get through anything, but this thing has taken the wind out of my sails; I just want to make it better and make it all go away.  It's like a bad dream that you cannot wake up from. 

For those of you that believe in God or a higher power, please keep my sister in your prayers tomorrow; her name is Lori.  I pray for all of you going through the same thing with your sisters, friends and mothers.  This website has been such a source of strength for me.