5 NEW ANGELS

norm
norm Member Posts: 247
edited September 2014 in Prayers and Spiritual Support

My wife had breast cancer and had a masscectmy last year,after kemo we thought we had it beat.then brenda found another lump 3mths. ago.She had an appointment on dec.5th to have an ultrasound mammagram,we have been fosterparent's for the last 13yrs.we adopted 2 children,david 10 he was only 1 day old and his sister starla 12yrs. old 18mths.old when she came to us.We fostered keenan 11yrs. old and his brother dean 9yrs. old.keenan,dean and starla had an appointment in prince george on dec3rd. with their doc.,all 4 of the kid's were dinoised with F.A.S. On that horrible day dec3rd./07my wife and babies were killed in a headon crash with a semi 36km's east of vanderhoof bc. how do I go on,I not looking for pity or sympathy!!!!! I just wanna know how to get through the day/minute or even second??????? I'm really mad at god right now.

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Comments

  • 73gr
    73gr Member Posts: 459
    edited December 2007

    Dear Norm,

    i'm really sorry for your family. it's a horrible experience and i don't know what to say. Please know that you are not alone, you are in our thought and prayers, keep posting, you will find a lot of support here

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  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited March 2008



    Words defy the communal pain felt for you Norm.



    When you look to the heavens, may you see your family's five-pointed star shining down on you.



    With great sorrow,

    Tender

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited December 2007

    Norm,

    I had heard about the accident on the news.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I can't even imagine the pain that you must be feeling.  Of course you are mad - you have every right to be. 

    My experience with personal loss is nothing like what you are going through now, but from my experience, my suggestions are to take it one day (or one hour or one minute) at a time, to try to remember the good times that make you smile at the memory, and when it's most difficult, to go on because you know that's what your wife and children would have wanted you to do. 

    My thoughts are with you.

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  • SISKimberly
    SISKimberly Member Posts: 762
    edited December 2007

    Norm, I cannot even put into words my feelings at this moment...my heart hurts for you. To lose your wife and your children all at once in one tragic accident is just too much to even imagine going through...and yet you will go through it, in a fog at first, as you get through the shock of it.



    Are there friends and family nearby helping you with the things you need to do?



    Please know we are all here for you, Norm. This is a safe place to let it all out...It is OK to be angry at what has happened to you. Let it out! Don't allow that anger to fester.



    I'm sending positive energy out into the universe for you and your family and (((((HUGS))))). How you get through it is by being in the moment, whatever that moment may hold for you. If you need to just sit and cry...then do that. If you need to yell at God, then do that. If you need to go to a favorite place and think, then do that. If you need company, then call someone. You just put one foot infront of the other and walk minute by minute into whatever it is you need to experience. Trust yourself to do what you need to do...no one person handles the loss of a loved one, or loved ones, in the same way. There is no right or wrong way as long as you do not allow yourself to give up-your wife and children are with you-I believe that-and they wouldn't want you to give up on living as hard as living may be at this moment.



    Kimberly

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  • chemo072
    chemo072 Member Posts: 682
    edited December 2007

    Hugs and more hugs and words can't begin to console, but i hold you in prayers in a bed of light...in the depths of the darkness of grief may that golden light be a soothing comfort...

    I'm not Jewish but I always thought the concept of sitting shiva sounded right to me.....with such a radical change, to have a communal, tangible expression of that change....cover the mirrors, shave your head, ask the neighbors to bring food, call friends and any relatives to come be with you, and any religious group that you're part of....

    what a terrible time of year....and the funeral arrangements....oh, it's so hard to wrap one's mind/spirit around. 

    my heart is with you....

    i grew up in seattle btw, love BC 

    getting through the day with so much grief....one hour at a time, 15 minutes if need be, eat on time, drink water, breathe....

    also, maybe an escape to somewhere warm? maybe a change of scenery at some point?  I have no idea how I'd get through if I lost 5 family members at once.  Either I'd want to be where people knew what had happened, or I'd want totally the opposite....but grief is a sneaky SOB so maybe being home would be best for the time being, to seek refuge....it's such a challenge, that kind of depth of grieving is a sacred space of sorts, but yet one has to let the world back in...  but I'd be sorely tempted to go to a healing retreat, to a warm beach on Thailand or to swim in warm waters in Hawaii and just let nature be the salve that it is...

    there are grief counselors aren't there?  maybe they'd have suggestions?  or maybe a hospice worker would?  I'm totally out of my depth here....

    be really good to yourself....

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  • SISKimberly
    SISKimberly Member Posts: 762
    edited December 2007

    OZ posted this poem she found several years ago on the internet on a different thread (I altered the singular to be plural)...no author attached. I thought it might bring you some comfort...and I know tears will fall, too. Norm...one moment at a time. Your SIS(Sister In Survival) Kimberly



    'Our First Christmas In Heaven'





    We see the countless Christmas lights around the world below

    The tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow

    The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear

    For we are spending Christmas with the angels this year.

    We hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear

    But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.



    We have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,

    For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.

    We know how much you miss us, We see the pain inside your heart

    But we are not so far away, We really aren't apart.

    So be happy for us, dear ones, You know we hold you dear.

    And be glad we're spending Christmas with the angels this year.



    We sent you each a special gift, from our heavenly home above.

    We sent you each a memory of our pure undying love.

    After all, love is a gift more precious than gold.

    One that lasts an eternity just as we've been told. (Line added by me. It seemed to need it)

    Please love and keep each other, as our Maker said to do.

    We'll ask him to lift your spirits and be there when you're blue.



    So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear

    Remember, we are spending Christmas with the angels this year.

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  • JapanLynn
    JapanLynn Member Posts: 471
    edited December 2007

    Dear Norm,

    I can't even imagine the pain of loss you must be feeling.  Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers, and I'll pray for the repose of the souls of your dear family. 

    Love, Lynn

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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited December 2007

    Norm, all I can say is how Sorry I am for You!

    wish I could say more, but I am speechless right now

    and crying my eyes out wishing You Strength to go on!

    Gods Speed

    Puppy

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  • hi5
    hi5 Member Posts: 374
    edited December 2007

    Norm...my heart goes out to you and the extreme pain you must be feeling. I don't know what or who you believe in but I believe you are a loving, compassionate ma.  The love you gave to your wife and children will serve you well in your period of mourning; they will be watching over you in your time of grief and will ease your pain.  

    Please know that I care for you. 

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks,right now I don't know what else to say,but thank you

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thanks

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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited December 2007

    {{{Norm}}}

    5 NEW {{ANGELS}} are Looking Down on You, Right now

    Saying I Love You, Please do not be Sad, Plant a Tree for Each one of us, and WE Will take care of them and YOU can whatch US GROW!

    Bless You, life as You knew it will never be the same, But knowing You have 5 {{ANGELS}} Whatching Over You, is Priceless!

    I so hope I helped You!

    God Bless, Puppy 

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  • AlaskaDeb
    AlaskaDeb Member Posts: 2,601
    edited December 2007

    Prayers are going out for you.  I wish I had some advice, but I can't think of anything helpful other than saying a prayer.

    Hugs

    Deb C

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    To all that have left their comment's;thank you for your thought's and prayers.Your kind words bring on more tears for me,knowing that people are praying for us is comfort.I am soooooooo mad at god,I doubt he's listening to me right now,which maybe its good he's not. I am beleavier in him,but right now it's hard to understand why.     I wish you a merry christmas             sincerly;norm                   

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  • PuppyFive
    PuppyFive Member Posts: 2,808
    edited December 2007

    {{NORM}}

    Please know many times I have been mad at God!!

    and I think He does Listen,and hears Our Pain!

    He hears You, Dear Brother!

    and I Believe He Understands!

    Soon the Pain will Lighten,  and the Beauty of Your Memories will

    take over! It is just a very long "SOON"

    Please know, my prayers will not stop and always be with You!

    Gods Speed Dear Brother

    Debby

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  • junie
    junie Member Posts: 1,216
    edited December 2007

    Dear Norm--such devastation in your life.   I am truly sorry.  I read the tribute to Brenda--what a loving, caring person she was.  How blessed you are to have shared her life for too short a time.   I have no words of comfort, but my heart is heavy with your grief.  May you soon see sunshine instead of shadows.....

    gentle hugggssssss----junie

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  • yellowfarmhouse
    yellowfarmhouse Member Posts: 279
    edited December 2007

    I just cannot imagine what you are going through.  As a mom of five -- one adopted, I just cannot fathom the pain you are feeling.  It just seems like going through breast cancer was hard enough...  All I can say is that I'm praying for you tonight  and will continue. 

    with sadness,

    Wendy

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    thank you,junni. brenda was one of a kind to say the least!!!!!!!where did you read her tribute at?I sooooooo miss her and the kid's...if only we could turn back time,it a comfort that she phoned me 27min's before the............and the last word's we said  to each other were I loveyou and as alway's ,brenda said I love you more.             thank's         norm

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  • candie1971
    candie1971 Member Posts: 4,820
    edited December 2007

    Norm, my heart and prayers go out to you. I wish you peace.

    With heartfelt sympathy,

    Candie

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    Well christmas is over,it was hard.We alway's made christmas a great time for the kid's  .Some of the children we've fostered over the year's never had a good christmas,so brenda and I would make sure it was special for them.It won't ever be the same will it? I keep thinking brenda and the kid's are gonna walk through the door any minute and I'll wake up from this nightmare.......I'm not going crazy,I know that's not gonna happen.God please help me deal and accept what has happened,make me understand WHY???????     norm

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  • SISKimberly
    SISKimberly Member Posts: 762
    edited December 2007

    Just as Brenda survived cancer, so will you survive this tragic loss. Minute by minute, Norm.

    Thinking of you.

    Your SIS(Sister In Survival)

    Kimberly

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  • norm
    norm Member Posts: 247
    edited December 2007

    Thank you,Kimberly,as hard as christmas was it came with a blessing!We had bought some gifts for the kids before the........had happened.Keenan and Dean wanted new bikes for christmas so we got them back in nov. and put them away.In our neighborhood there's 2 little guys Peter&Sylis(9&11yrs.old)they lost their parents 3or4 yrs ago.They are staying with their aunt and uncle and he's not employed right now so I know money is tight for them.So my son Eddie and I took the bikes and other gifts we had and gave them to the boy's.their little eyes lit up and at that moment I amost felt human again........It felt so good to make their christmas alittle brighter and I know brenda and the kids would want me to do this.Brenda,and our 4 boy's and starla were very giving and loving children!!!!!!!They loved to see people happy.           Thanks for listening.........norm

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited December 2007

    Norm,

           Since I have not experienced this, I can only offer you my prayers and some much needed hugs. This is something that no-one can fathom. The fact that you are here talking about it is nothing short of a miracle. Parents that have lost children (my mother, my aunt),say its the most painful and agonizing experience ever, & have told me there is no true recovery, and only time brings the happy memories to the forefront. With time, you will be able to recall all the wonderful things your wife, you and your precious children shared without feeling such ovewhelming sadness.

         When I look up in the night sky, I talk to my baby brother and ask him to watch over all children, which I know he does. May your wife and children rest in the arms of the Lord forever and always. Gain your strength from knowing that you are doing what your wife would want you to do, keep living. What a thoughtful thing you did for those children at Christmas.. These are the things that she would want I'm sure. God Bless you..

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