5 NEW ANGELS

faithandfifty

Adventure day today, Angel Watchers.......

So we've been walking the beach, reading at the beach, soaking up the beach.... I am always so newly amazed at how the waves come splashing over one another. So unrelenting. So powerful.

Yesterday a small plastic red barn roof washed up at my feet. Carried it home. Does that have any meaning to anyone? Should we invest in the Red Roof Inn? Visit the nearest farm? Made me giggle for no reason what-so-ever.

Today I'm going to meet "pgiglio" (from this chat-line) and she's invited the recent widow of our beloved "ctg" (also from chat) to join us as well. I'm not sure if you angel watchers 'knew' ctg, as I haven't run into you in chat. She was brilliant, kind, and such an optomist -- and so dreadfully young to be a fatality of this disease.

I feel very blessed to have the opportunity to meet her husband.

Wouldn't it be fun if we all met in person some day?

Norm: I can't wait to hear about your appointment. Are you considering your return to a smoke-free lifestyle? I think right now, just 'think' about returning to a healthier outlook. And I just realized that you sold your Harley. What's that all about? I bought my husband a new motorcycle when he turned 50..... couldn't afford the Harley, but he was pretty thrilled.

Kimberly: keep your spirit wrapped in those tres chic scarves.... you are a role model for so many. Attitude is so much of success in any venture. Your's shines with enthusiasm. Blessings to you today, SIS.

Puppy Love: The unrelenting nature (like my beach waves) of getting wrapped up in other people's stories is that we become involved, opening ourselves to the risk of losing some of our sisters. What a joy that we can support them in their journey.... savor the joy. Know that we are here for you as you experience loss.

Now off to the beach!! What will wash up today?

PuppyFive

I am soooo Happy for You Sweet Faithand fifty!

WOW I wonder if maybe {{{CTG}}} Liked to eat at the redroof

I have known many Sister Loved Sweet Ctg! I pray Your visit

is a wonderful time! Please lt Ctg's DH we are praying for Him

and will Angel watch for a New Angel for Him!!

Norm, giving up cigs, is very hard, not gonna lie to ya

But You can do it, My Dh quit also, we used God, Prayer, and

Chantix, Believe me it took them All!!!

{{Sis}} Praying for Your Treatments to fly by, HMMM Maybe

 we have someone to Help You with that xoxoxo

Gods Speed

Puppy

SISKimberly

Good Morning Angel Watchers,



FaithandFifty-Hmmm....a red roof...maybe a reminder to always take time out to play!!!! ....which I can sense you have no problem doing Faith...I love your lightness of being.



Have a wonderful day with pgiglio and ctg's dh...I agree that it is such a blessing to be able to meet and encourage eachother online...but how spectacular to meet in person.



Puppy- Thanks for the prayers...I have no doubt that time will fly by...I can't believe I've already made it through 2 treatments.



Norm- I'm with Faith...think about quitting...trying to do too much at once can be sabotaging. Counseling first...and as you start to feel emotionally stronger...then start cutting back until you quit.



I'm off to get the wig trimmed. Have a good day, all.



SIS Kimberly

faithandfifty

Windy day @ the beach, angel watchers.

Just a quick update. We were able to meet & have dinner with PGIGLIO and Mr. Ctg last night. Incredible opportunity. Fun times.

Great meal.

Norm: this site has given you the opportunity to realize that there are folks across our planet, reaching out and sending you healing support. Be kind to yourself today.  Have a cup of hot chocolate on me and fill it to the brim with marshmellows.

PuppyLove: told Mr. CTG you were sending him continued prayers. He's so grateful for everyone's support and concern.

Kimberly: "This too shall pass." Sing it loud, sing it proud. We're counting on your continued word dexterity to brighten our days.

norm

Hello every one,the weather here has warmed up(-4) which feel's like a spring day,sunny and bright!I guess to you folk's in the USA,-4 send's a shiver down your back but,here in northern B.C. it's a welcome treat!!!!!!!  I went to my appointment Monday.We just got to know each other alittle,it was awkward telling a stranger my life history,but not as hard as I thought.I'm sure that's because of my fellow angelwatcher's.I'm a very private person,before I came to this site the only person I ever let know what was really going on in my head was Brenda.We were like ONE,no secret's,we alway's just knew how the other one felt and what to say or do to make thing's right!I miss her and the kid's more & more each day,but I feel TRULY BLESSED to have had the time with them that I was given....It was a gift that I''ll cherish for EVER!! I talk to them daily,when I'm driving,at 3pm. and every night before I sleep.That might sound crazy,but it's all I got right now,talk and memories.               Today for some reason I feel a little more alive,more hopeful of what's to come,maybe it's accepting where I'm at in life,I don't.My dad used to say never look a gift horse in the mouth,so I'm not going to try and figure it out,just enjoy the moment!! Now on to something not so joyful (smoking)I know I have to quit and SOOOOONNNNN.I was a heavy smoker for 30yrs. until I had a stroke 4yrs. ago.It was a bad one (left side)Brenda and my son had to carry me out to the van and take me the hospital,couldn't walk or talk(scarred the SH#T out of me)lucky we got there in time,got a shot and it brought me out of it.They shipped me off to Prince George where I had surgery to unblock my arteries in my right side of my neck.I fully recovered with no lasting effect's from the stroke,other than swearing I'd never smoke again.I went 4yrs.smoke free until the accident.So believe me, I know it's just a matter of time what will happen if I continue smoking,I try telling myself Brenda would understand,but I know she'd kick my butt!!So I have to quit.          My next appointment is on Tuesday(with the counselor)I don't if it's going to help me,but unless I give it a try.       I hope today is a wonderful day for all of you.!!!!!!  Know that you are in my PRAYER"S &THOUGHT"S.  T.F.L.norm                    ps.FaithandFifty;as to what's that all about(selling my harley)I can understand how that could shock anyone that loves harley's.The one I sold was one that I bought to resell,not my ride.David and I would spend hour's working on harley's,people were amazed how a 10yr.old could know so much about bikes.He and Starla had thier own mini-chopper's.David lived and breathed harley davidson from his HD boots to his leather HD cap.I went to Vanderhouf yesterday to buy the monument's for their grave,and I thought it was approiate to have a harley put on his,I KNOW HE IS SMILING RIGHT NOW!!   T/C enjoy the waves, norm

norm

Hello,just thought I'd check in on the ANGELWATCHER"S.With all the people that have helped me through my time of need.I wish there was a way that I could show you how much you really helped,but I guess still being here is a good ideal of what you mean to me.I gotta be honest with you,head shrinker's were never on top of my list(pay the money-find the cure)I felt like an asshole talking to the@#* the other day,it  was very depressing.I said what I thought she wanted to hear,just to make thing's go well.I'm not that kind of person,I call a spade a spade,and to hell with what people say or think.I'm what I am,and no head doctor or anyone else is gonna change that!!I think the best medicine for me is your support,no string's,no false hopes,I'm so tired of the bull s*#@*.Iknow each and every one of us are going through a struggle, and I can relate to that.....I can't relate to a payed listener.(hmmmmmmm let me check my book's)I'll be dammed if I'll fall for that crap.I will understand if anyone has a problem with this,but it won't change the way I feel......isn't it about being true full to yourself?If not,what do we have?Everything else is gone.I keep thinking there's a cure for this,but there isn't.That's okay though,because if I didn't have something or someone to pick on,I don't know where I'd be. May God answer your Prayer's;;norm

norm

Hello,just thought I'd check in on the ANGELWATCHER"S.With all the people that have helped me through my time of need.I wish there was a way that I could show you how much you really helped,but I guess still being here is a good ideal of what you mean to me.I gotta be honest with you,head shrinker's were never on top of my list(pay the money-find the cure)I felt like an asshole talking to the@#* the other day,it  was very depressing.I said what I thought she wanted to hear,just to make thing's go well.I'm not that kind of person,I call a spade a spade,and to hell with what people say or think.I'm what I am,and no head doctor or anyone else is gonna change that!!I think the best medicine for me is your support,no string's,no false hopes,I'm so tired of the bull s*#@*.Iknow each and every one of us are going through a struggle, and I can relate to that.....I can't relate to a payed listener.(hmmmmmmm let me check my book's)I'll be dammed if I'll fall for that crap.I will understand if anyone has a problem with this,but it won't change the way I feel......isn't it about being true full to yourself?If not,what do we have?Everything else is gone.I keep thinking there's a cure for this,but there isn't.That's okay though,because if I didn't have something or someone to pick on,I don't know where I'd be. May God answer your Prayer's;;norm

norm

I didn't mean any bad inttention's on anyone,I am what I am!! ;norm

SISKimberly

2/7/08

Hey Norm,

OK, it's because I care I'm going to be a little tough on you right now.



So, if you really are about just being who you are...saying it like it is and letting the chips fall where they may...why give the counselor a bunch of c#&p? Think she can't handle who you really are? Think she's going to judge you? She can and she won't. A paid listener...interesting. How about thinking of it as paying for someone's services like a mechanic? When your Harley needs something, you have the skills to fix it. If I had a Harley, I'd have to hire someone to fix it. Right now, you've so much as admitted you don't have the tools to do this yourself. The counselor has tools to share with you that you don't have right now. It takes time to develop a rapport with a counselor, and it helps if you can be as honest from the get go as you can. It takes longer to get to where you want to go if you and your counselor are avoiding all the roadblocks you are throwing down. Also know that it is so normal to want to 'run' because things are getting too real and too painful...but once you allow yourself to sit through that and feel those feelings...the easier it gets, the more tools you integrate, and the faster you get to the goal. OK, off the soap box.



I hope you kept your appt. and that you give this a chance, Norm. We can certainly all support you and be a sounding board...like I'm doing right now...but you owe it to yourself and to Brenda and the kids to do whatever it takes...easy or not... to heal and move on.



Speaking of Brenda...which leads to the kids...how great that you had that bond with David...Harleys. What a perfect headstone choice for him...a Harley. And it isn't weird at all that you talk to Brenda and the kids. I still talk to my mom and my grandfather, and it has been years since their passing. I'm also pleased that you had a good day on that day...feeling good is how we are meant to feel in our lives...and those good feeling days will come more and more...and do not in any way diminish your love or feelings for your angels. They are looking down on you and rooting for you to keep moving forward in your life and to find the positives and the blessings.



About smoking....like I said, get through this first...and once you feel more emotionally strong...start weaning yourself off the cigs. We do not want you experiencing another stroke!!!!!



FaithandFifty- I'm so glad you had a good time with your breastcancer.org friends...and I do know that this too shall pass...a temporary bump in the road. Hope you continue to have a wonderful R&R in Florida.



Hey Puppy...thinking of you.



Hope today was a better day, Norm.

SIS KImberly



PS- Got the wig trimmed, then decided to try on a red wig...WOW, I loved it, so I bought it and got it trimmed up, too. My hubby hasn't seen it yet. I'm waiting for Valentines Day to suprise him with his red head...he's always teased me about red heads.

PuppyFive

{{{{{Kimberly}}}}}

Norm, I was lost for words! so happy SIS came along!

Faithandfifty, Shine on, Sweet Sister! You "Rock"

XOXOXOXO

Puppy

SISKimberly

2/8/08

Checking in on you, Norm!!!!



Hi Puppy...thanks for the hug...always good to get those.



SIS Kimberly

faithandfifty

Norm. What a treasure we have in our KimberlyWolf. Her insight is so keen and kind. I LOVE the analogy for the vehicle maintenance and the counselor. We all have different skills and life experiences.

I pay my doctor to help me get better..... just a slim variation on paying for counseling/support. I bet you don't look down your nose at me for going to my oncologist later this month. He has skills I don't. Hang in there. Give yourself a lot of credit for reaching out.

Kimberly: continue your brilliance. We're all learning as you encourage Norm.

PuppyLove: where else but here can we always count on your continued hugs? Let's bottle them and the docs & counselors could pass out PuppyHugs with the other meds. Gotta love it!

SISKimberly

2/9/08



Hi Angel Watchers,



I had a great day yesterday. Went to school to have lunch with my fellow staff members...so good to see them...then took myself to a movie- Bee Movie...pretty cute, then walked the Mall for awhile for exerercise and to kill some time before meeting my son, his girlfriend, my two sisters, and darling husband for Sushi at our favorite place.



My son and I have been going since he was little. I taught the owner's son, his now wife (went to their wedding), and other family members English when I taught Adult Night School oh so long ago. They started with just one restaurant in one suite of a strip mall building. They now have taken over most of that building and have another for offices on that site plus 5 more restaurants all over the local area and one in Vegas. Anyway, my son says, " Mom, you know you helped Taro and his family to live the American Dream."...Hmmm, I guess in a very small way, I did. Made me smile.



FaithandFifty- Thanks for your compliment and confidence in my insight. And I love the PuppyHugs idea. I'm with you on loving her hugs.



Here's a big one from me to all of us (((((Angel Watchers)))))



So, how is going, Norm? Thinking of you.



SIS KImberly

PuppyFive

{{{SIS}}} What a wonderful thing You did for this Family!

Sounds like You had a Busy BEE Day(hehe)! You Truley are an Inspiratrion to All of US! just remember Sweety, Its ok to "Rest"!

and Thank You and Sweet {{{Faithandfifty}}} for Your Love!

Norm, hope Your Journey is a little less stressful today, know we are here for You, Brother! But know Your life as You knew it is no more!

But Your memories are "Forever"!

Gods Speed Angel Watchers( I Love You)

Puppy

PuppyFive

Good Sunday Angel Watchers, hope Yours is a good one!

xoxoxoxo

Puppy

PuppyFive

SISKimberly

Just checkin' in angels. Norm, where are you????



Hi Puppy!!!



Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend.



SIS Kimberly

norm

Hello every one,I just got home from Prince George.I find it help's to get away from town and melt into a bigger city where I'm not confronted by friend's and family.They all mean well,I know but you can only say that your doing okay so many times and not feel over whelmed.I hope that I'm expressing it right!!!!In a small town like this,ever-body know's one another,and being a person that mostly stay's to them-self,I just get so uncomfortable.Brenda was alway's the one out there,I preferred to stay in the wing's,since I was a kid I've been like this.That's problay why I said what I did about counsoler's Kimberley.I know I need help dealing with my life right now and I'm thankful for a friend like you that won't let me aviod it.I'm going to my appiontment Tuesday and the next one and the one after that etc.Maybe it will help,maybe not,but if I don't give it a try,I'm not going to get any-where...I hope today is a good day for all ANGEL WATCHER"S,take care and may GOD BLESS!  T.F.L. norm                  Ps./ Thank's Kimberley

faithandfifty

AngelWatchers-from-the-beach.....................

Oh dear. I've started the 'count-down' to the time when I'll have to leave paradise. Another three days. What a lift to the spirit. Healing.

Norm. I think it's brilliant that you get-away to the big city, where you can melt into the crowd -- and not feel like you are on stage and further vulnerable. I'm most thrilled that you tell us that you intend to continue with your appointments!!! One week at a time. As hard as it is at times, know that it will add deposits to your mental health bank account with each visit.

Kimberly: thanks for sharing your story of giving a 'boost' to the family who is living the dream. We can each help to carry the other and at times contribute beyond our own understanding. It's such a blessing to look over your shoulder and see the results of your effort. A real treasure when our own children are aware of our unique legacy.

PuppyLove: It's great to see your name and hugs on other threads around this site. Don't you love the new beach thread? It's so funny to me, that I found that thread -- while here, at the real beach!

It's been a day of astounding grace and goodness. So glad to hear the bounce in your post, Norm. You're the one who brought us together, after all.

SISKimberly

Hey Angel Watchers-

Norm, I'm so glad to hear from you.You are welcome...that is what friends are for...to hold up the mirror and push us to do the hard stuff when we don't want to...and knowing they'll be there with us the entire way.



What an interesting twist to the usual getaway. Most want to escape the fast pace of the city and get to somewhere slower to relax...and you living in a small town want to get lost in the city. Isn't perspective interesting? I agree with the word FaithandFifty used...brilliant!!!!



It so warms my heart to know that you will keep your appts and really give this a chance. Know we're here to help you out and be a sounding board when things get rough...cause they will be no fun at times...but the payout at the end...Jackpot!!!!!



FaithandFifty- Oh, the countdown is so sad/hopeful...knowing that the R&R is almost over, but still knowing you have three days to savor. I'm so glad you've had such a wonderful time and feel rejuvinated...so needed in a life as busy as yours seems to be.



Take care all,

SIS KImberly

faithandfifty

beach blessings to our little clan of angel-watchers..................

Norm: just before I left home for this paradise, I found some "wisdom literature" on the web. I had just enough time to track down a book and CD lecture by this Buddhist nun named, Pema Chodron. (not absolutely sure on the spelling.)

Anyhow, she suggestions focusing on the four words: "Other people feel this." Say it to yourself in a chant, on each breath -- if you get really fancy. It has been the missing key/puzzle piece that I've needed. I'm not sure why it's been so helpful to me, but it has.

My life has come in very distinct chapters. I would never compare my "loss" to yours, but to me at the time it was devastating and overwhelming. My first husband (father of my 2 daughters) was an ordained minister. We lived in the parsonage next to the church......

It turns out that he was not a moral man, nor ethical. We could have been featured on some morning reality show. My life was over as I knew it, once I understood the gravity of the situation.

That was well over 15 years ago now.... when all came apart at the seams. Soap opera extravaganza, to be sure. I am still healing from the sense of betrayal and the devastation that it caused the girls.

And then there was a custody battle over the children. I truly nearly lost it at that point. I lost my oldest daughter to a process that was heinous and unbelievable to even those who were involved and knew the story. I went to counseling, believe me. I sat in the counselor's parking lot and cried before I went in and cried after I'd come out.

[BC side note: my oncologist told me that my cancer, DCIS, is VERY slow growing and that he'd estimate it to be approx 8 to 10 years old in nature...... exactly corrolating to all of the custody nonsense. Which makes perfect 'sense' to me.]

Back to the happy ending part of my story. My new husband and I are about to celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary, next month. We met after I'd moved the girls and I into our own digs in a delightful new condo development. They thought it was pretty sweet to have a tennis court for a back yard! Not to mention a swimming pool. I was delirious to have a lock on the door, as things had become quite melodramatic by that point.

So back to "Other people feel this." I think the reason that this site is so therapeutic, so helpful, so encouraging -- is that it links us to each other. That we realize we are not alone, that we are in good company. That others have the same fears and longings, side effects, worries and joys. That we can hold each other up thru the tests and surgeries and consults. That we can encourage each other as we face loss of body image, hair, or the next door neighbor's friendship.

I hope that these four words will bring you some modicum of peace.

Norm, you are not alone. Other people feel this. Other people are at a loss for where to turn next. Other people feel betrayed by an unjust situation. Other people wonder what on earth they 'did' to deserve the hand that they've been dealt. Other people feel bone numbing silence surrounding them.

We hold you up, Norm. We celebrate with you.... your strength and resolve to share Brenda's memory and the sweet lives of the children will be your salvation from this tradgedy. Your willingness to heal in spite of your harrowing loss will be Brenda's legacy. We are here to cheer for you Norm.

Now I must go savor some more beach time. The sands are literally falling thru the hourglass.

Kimberly & PuppyLove: hugs to each of you for today's journey. I hope that this new quote will bring you strength and solace -- in the face of it all.

PuppyFive

WOW!!!

I Really needed You today {{faithandfifty}}

Gods Speed to All of You and know I Feel Your Love!

I only Pray You Feel Mine!

{{Norm}}

"Brenda's legacy" Now that would be a Great Place to be! Fight

Dear Brother, and We will Fight with You! and For You!

Sweet {{Sis}} Your Love Shines!

Puppy

SISKimberly

WOW is right!!!! FaithandFifty, I knew you were an enlightened soul...I commented in an earlier post how I enjoyed your lightness of being...Other People Feel This goes even beyond others have had experiences that have caused them to feel what I'm feeling...I'm not alone. Other People Feel This also fits the idea of positive intention/positive attraction. What we put out into the universe, we get back. Other people feel/are effected by what we put out there....and people like you, Puppy, Norm, and I are doing such good things with our loving and positive outlook and way of being...even on the tough days. Thank you for sharing your story and for reminding us of our connectedness to humanity beyond this thread.



Another beautiful sunny day today...I will so be taking advantage of that.



SIS Kimberly

norm

Hello Kimberley,Puppy and Faithandfifty,thank you so much for the word's of comfort and advise!Other peolpe feel this,how sad,but true!!!! I want to say more about this but my mind is reeling and I want to say it properly so for now I'll just say thank's.Knowing I'm not alone,having friend's like you to talk with is what keep's me going,makes each day a little brighter!! T.F.L.norm                                       Lord take care of my five Angels and thank you for the three new Angels you sent to me!

faithandfifty

Norm: I hope that you know me well enough by now, that I was not in any way trying to 'diminish' the scope of your loss. I'd hesitated to tell you those four words until you knew me a little bit.

The main thing, is that you are not alone in your sorrow. Other people feel this. Your story is uniquely your own, but "other people feel this" as in loss, sorrow, anger, frustration, speechlessness.

We are here for you..... day in and day out.

SISKimberly

Good Morning Angel Watchers,

Norm, good to hear from you...I agree that the whole idea "Other People Feel This" is huge...I understand your need to let that soak in and settle before putting your thoughts into words.



Hope today goes well with the counselor. I'm thinking of you.



FaithandFifty, I certainly didn't hear you diminshing Norm's loss in what you said...and I'm certain Norm didn't feel you were diminishing his feelings either... Your words rang true...he is not alone and nor are we.



Love and (((HUGS))) to all,

SIS KImberly

norm

Good morning everyone,just a quick comment before I'm off to my appt. Faithandfifty,I didn't think you were diminishing my loss at all!!!!!I found(other people feel this)both comforting and disturbing at the same time.On one hand it's comforting to know your not the only one that is suffering,but on the other hand,I don't want anyone to have to go through this nightmare!!! I really don't think I'm saying this right,that's why I wanted to think(how to put it into word's correctly)We are all dealing with a loss of some kind and that's what brought us together,that's what makes it easier for me,knowing I'm talking with people that can relate to one another's pain and struggles.Looking at the time,I gotta get going to Houston or I'll be late.I don't what to bring my conlsor,an apple or a tylenol haha(she'll problay need both)T.F.L. norm 

faithandfifty

Norm: so eager to hear about your appointment. So glad that you took those four words in the manner that I'd hoped you would. Typing is such a poor comparison to having an actual conversation with a person. Thank heavens and all our angel supervision that you understood the intention of my sharing.

We started my last day @ the beach with a rainbow this morning. You never get to see the brilliance of the rainbow without the storm. It was a HUGE storm last night and threatens more for the day.... but in the midst of all the darkness there were beautiful colors to begin the day.

Love to you SIS and Puppylove. May your day be filled with grace too. Mercy and kindness for our whole thread of supporters-of-norm.

I fly to DC tomorrow and on to Houston early on Sun. don't know how much cyber connectivity i'll have. know that I will hold each of you close to my heart, until I get home -- about a week from now.

it's challenging to realize that the time to return to "the real world" has arrived. how can i bottle all of this warmth? relaxation? wonder?

SISKimberly

Good Morning Angelwatchers-

So Norm, hope your appt went well yesterday-Tuesday. You sound good...even had a little joking at the end of your post. ;-)



It is comforting to know we aren't alone...and sad that others are feeling pain...but without the trials and tribulations...how can we truly appreciate the blessings? It truly does suck to have to live through such things, but on the other side of the storm, there's a beautiful rainbow...thanks for the lovely image FaithandFifty.



Take care all...and safe flight home FaithandFifty.



SIS Kimberly

norm

Hi,Angelwatcher's,good to hear from you.Sorry your R&R is coming to the end Faithandfifty,sure hope you enjoyed it,kinda fitting to end with a rainbow don't you think?Enjoy your last day in the warmth....

  Kimberley,I made it to my appt.(13min's late)It went okay I guess.She told me that she was surprised that I came back.I explained that I wouldn't have if a FRIEND didn't give me the kick that I needed!Thank's again Kimberley,at this point whether it going to help or not,I'm not sure but it won't hurt.   Well back to the lawyer's again.I sold my towing business last night(man,that was sure quick)I hadn't even advertised it yet.a local guy called yesterday afternoon,came by and talked,gave me a cheque and it was over just like that.We have to finalize it this afternoon. As much as I'm going to miss it,it's also a relief,one less thing to worry about.I guess I'd better start figuring out what to do next.I'm not a spring chicken any-more(53 next month)so my option's are limited.Ed keeps telling me to retire,but I need to be doing something to keep busy.Oh well there's time to figure thing's out,I don't want to jump in to something that isn't going to work for me.I've made too many quick decisions as of late. Well I'd better get my butt in gear,I have alot to do today,take care and I hope you all have a GREAT DAY!!! T.F.L.norm