Chemo in Nov 07

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  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited December 2007

    Update: They want me to take medical leave or resign. Of course it is unpaid and the government package sucks - can't live on it. Guess I don't have much choice though. They say I am unable to make my comittments and obligations due to missing a week last week. I suspect they will delete my position in my absence..... sucks to be me today.

    Karyll

  • georgias_mommy
    georgias_mommy Member Posts: 87
    edited December 2007

    Dammit. I am so mad and frustrated at the lack of understanding and compassion that employers show their DEDICATED employees at a time when they need a little support.

    Karyll, I am so sorry. I hate it that you have this stress on top of everything else. I sure hope that they stay healthy!

    I started a conversation to see how many others felt forced out on leave. I'm curious to see just how many have. Feel free to add your story when you have a minute. I think everyone who is diagnosed needs to know that this could happen so that they can prepare. I didn't see it coming at ALL. 

    Hang in there! (((hugs)))

    Sharon 

  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited December 2007

    Hey Sharon, I can honestly say I didn't see it coming either until I had to miss that week - then I suspected due to the response I got.

    I am trying to get my head around everything too and am trying to see this as a new opportunity to 1- get well and heal, and 2- to find something else that is more suitable for someone dedicated and committed. I think, I have felt taken advantage of for some time, it's just hard to leave what you created, ya know, the vision, dream the dream etc. However, perhaps this is just what I needed to have another door open. I am okay for a couple months financially and that will give me the time to find out about other things, consolidations of loans and credit cards (OMG) and whatever other things I can tap into to make it work. No benefits really sucks though - I am not sure how I will manage the drugs I need. I guess somehow that will come about too.

    Ill go visit your other conversation too.
    Thanks and (((((Hugs))))) right backatcha

    Karyll

  • crystal1
    crystal1 Member Posts: 41
    edited December 2007

    Karyll, I don't even know what to say to you...I am so sorry that you have been put into this position! That just SUCKS! I can't believe in this day and age people can still be such asses. I often wish that I was a 'big' person, but I'm not...I'm a little vengeful person & I hope that they find themselves in your position and see how it feels. Sorry, I'm venting and that probably doesn't make you feel any better. But I am a big believer in things happening for a reason, and I pray that this is just the beginning of bigger, better things for you. Please, take care and know that we're all pulling for you!

    Crystal

  • roxygirl64
    roxygirl64 Member Posts: 32
    edited December 2007

    Karyll,  I am so sorry you are going through that along with everything else.  People don't understand what we are going through and my heart goes out to you.

    Can anyone tell me how long does it take for them to drip the adriamycin in.  On my 3rd treatment it was done in less than 10 minutes and by the time I left I was sick and have been feeling terrible ever since.  They told me it does not matter, but when I went for my blood work the nurse told me that it can and to let the Dr. know so they can slow it down.  On my treatments before it was at least 30-45 minutes.  I am glad I only have one more to go and that is on December 27. 

    Jodi

  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited December 2007

    hey roxy, we have epirubicin which is the Canadian red devil. They did not drip it in at all, but instead injected it into the IV via syringe. It took approximately 15 mins for the nurse to do that. She did that with one of the other drugs, and then I had one go in via drip. Our cocktail is called FEC and there are three chemicals they use.

    HEY - I go for my second Taxotere on the 27th... Maybe I can wave at ya when all hooked up!!!!!!

    Karyll

  • jay66
    jay66 Member Posts: 112
    edited December 2007

    Karyll so sorry to hear what has happened to you. Makes me so mad the way companies can just treat you like a object, don't they know we are human, haven't they got families, wheres the understanding? What Bull sh*t. Hope things work out for you. Sorry to go off but I know how hard it is just to get through this, with out the extra troubles on top. Take care.

  • 3boys4me
    3boys4me Member Posts: 319
    edited December 2007

    Karyll, I, too, am sorry to see you go through work issues on top of dealing with BC.  It just seems so unfair.  I chose not to work during treatment, which was the right choice for me, but have the utmost respect for those who either chose or need to work during treatment.  I read on the other thread about fighting for your job, but is there a point where you think that maybe the fight isn't worth it and like someone else said, when God shuts a door on us, he usually opens a window...  Best of luck to you during this hard time. 

    Merry Christmas to all my BC sisters.  Here's wishing everyone an SE free Christmas and New Year!

    love to all,

    Lisa (in CA)

  • crystal1
    crystal1 Member Posts: 41
    edited December 2007

    Hello everyone, hope all of you are well. I am really feeling low today...my energy just hasn't bounced  back this time, and I naturally have lots I'd like to do to prepare for Christmas. I try to do a little bit, and then need to take a nap...and usually just end up in tears! My darling husband keeps assuring me it'll be alright, but I watch him trying to do it all & just feel worse. How are the rest of you getting by? Any good hints on how to just let it go, because I don't seem to be able to accept where I'm at right now! Just feeling sorry for myself, I guess...

    Crystal

  • georgias_mommy
    georgias_mommy Member Posts: 87
    edited December 2007

    Oh, Crystal. I am so sorry to hear that you're feeling low today. Frown I'm two days out from my 2nd tx and definitely lacking the holiday energy that is normally required at this time of year. I was really surprised how emotional I get after my tx's, too. I end up in tears over holiday commercials or for no really good reason. It's better than getting angry though! Wink

    My entire family decided that we were going to "skip" the gift giving this year. It's made all the difference in the world. We've decorated a tree, done a little baking and mailed the cards, but besides buying a few developmental toys for our daughter, we've avoided the holiday hustle and bustle. Our friends understand why we have to decline invitations and if the house isn't up to Martha Stewart's standards, well...we've just learned to let it go. Dust and clutter never killed anyone that we know of.

    I don't know how I got to this point...being able to let it go...but I have. Normally, I'd be freaking out if an ornament was out of place. I suppose cancer has taught me about what is really important and what to let go. Being able to spend another Christmas with my family, my daughters first steps, learning to accept help from others, and giving myself time to heal.  

    I know this probably hasn't helped you at all. I sure wish I could give you a ((((hug))))...hang in there.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Be good to yourself!

    Sharon 

  • my2girls
    my2girls Member Posts: 54
    edited December 2007

    Hey there everyone.

    Crystal,

    Sounds like you may be going through what I do.  On day 6 or 7 after my treatment, I hit these emotional lows.  I cry, feel overwhelmed by the smallest of tasks.  I mean small.  Just very teary.  I finally talked to my onc about it and he gave me some ativan.  I was also having this really bad nausau leading up to my tx.  The iv and just the whole thing would bring on this sick sick feeling.  Still does, but I am learning to push it out of my mind.  Anyway, I got the ativan.  I only took it one day though b/c I am such a lightweight but the low does go away after about 4 days.  Those 4 days can be excruitiating though.  I just explain as best as I can to my family what I am feeling like and that it is a effect of the chemo and then try to stay alone to sleep or distract myself somehow.  I hope you feel better by tomorrow.

    Karyll,

    Do you have a Labor Board or something like that in Canada?  Some place that protects people from their employers?  I just can't believe that they can legally get away with that.  You sound like a very hard worker and dedicated to whatever task is before you so I am sure you will get something good when you are ready.  I am so sorry for the stress it has to be causing though. 

    I am hoping for a peaceful easy feeling for all of you this day.

    Merry  Christmas Eve!

    Lisa in VA

  • georgias_mommy
    georgias_mommy Member Posts: 87
    edited December 2007

    Merry Christmas to all you BEAUTIFUL and STRONG women! I wanted to take this time to thank you for being there for me, and for everyone who joins us. You have been my inspiration and I feel truly blessed to share this journey with all of you.

    I wish everyone peace, love, joy and HEALTH in the coming year.

    Sharon

  • sue_blue
    sue_blue Member Posts: 416
    edited December 2007

    I hope all had a Merry Christmas and health and Joy for the coming new year. I am really looking forward to some joy. It's hard to stay up and looking outward going through this.



    My experience must be similar to everyone else, as I am very teary and depressed at times. These time are especially hard at night. My dear husband has to be my strength when I think sometimes he would need someone to be his strength.



    Karyll - I am so sorry about the job and the financial situation. You are really in my thoughts and prayers that God would provide a way for you. I know I feel not so effective at my job, if the cancer ends up being in my hip also, I'll be in the same situation. We just have to take this one day at a time.



    You are all wonderful women and a definite source of strength. It's hard for others to know exactly what we are experiencing, and we know you know and care. Bless each and every one of you. Susan

  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited December 2007

    I feel like there will just "be" a way to get through this. That's not to say it will be easy, but I have learned very early on in life that has been really thrown right up front in my face in the past months - Nothing is easy, if you want to win/get through challenges/survive/make do - there IS a way to manage that part of it. Where I used to work had a silent auction on my behalf and they raised enough money to assist me through the first month - so there ya go - 1 month down. I feel quite assured that along the way there will be ways that come around that will help - I just have to keep my eyes and heart open.

    Peace and Blessings everyone.

    Karyll

  • georgias_mommy
    georgias_mommy Member Posts: 87
    edited December 2007

    OK....it's FAR too quiet on this thread. How is everyone????? I think we need a roll call...Cindy? Ginnyintx? Cheryl? Are you out there? I'm worried. We haven't heard from you in a while. I hope you're all OK. I hope that it's just because everyone is traveling and not because of chemo.

    I'm just now beginning to emerge from the fog from TC tx #2.  I had my bloodwork done this morning and haven't heard anything yet, so I'm hoping that my wbc count is OK. I managed to give myself all five Neupogen injections and was OH, so happy when I finished the last one! Laughing Fingers crossed that they worked.

    I've been REALLY emotional this go around. I'm sure it's just the added stress of the holidays, but it's almost like I cry every time a needle falls off the Christmas tree. I could also remove someone's head with a lash of my tongue sometimes! What a rollercoaster. My oncology nurse told me that I could take an extra day of steroids so that I wouldn't crash on Christmas day (day 5 after tx) and, while it sort-of worked, I think the crash was harder this time. I guess we'll figure out how to handle/combat all of the side effects just as we're all finished with chemo. Wink

    (((hugs))) and prayers to everyone!

    Sharon 

  • 3boys4me
    3boys4me Member Posts: 319
    edited December 2007

    Hope everyone enjoyed Christmas.  All I can say is I'm so glad 2007 is almost over as 2008 looks much better (at least health wise).

    Crystal - I feel the same way - very tired.  I'm just not bouncing back as quickly after the 3rd tx and am so dreading my 4th (and last).  I asked my Onc today if I could just quit now ;-)  It was a no go, so I'll be back at the bar getting my cocktail on the 7th.  At least I can see there is light at the end of the tunnel.

    Sharon - I'm with you on the cleaning.  Not that I've ever been a great housekeeper, but if comes down to spending time with my friends or family or vacuuming, well I know I've got my priorities straight and it's all about friends and family (and me) at this point.  Though a little dusting might be in order soon...  I'm trying to discover our tolerance level for dirt!

    Everyone else, hang in there.  We will get through.  If I don't pop on the board, have a safe and happy New Year!

    love to all,

    Lisa (in CA)

  • crystal1
    crystal1 Member Posts: 41
    edited December 2007

    Hello everyone,

    As if chemo isn't enough to deal with, I came down with a killer flu and have been down & out for a couple days....I just hate this! First the UTI, and now the flu. I know that my body is weak from all of the drugs being pumped into it, and makes me vulnerable to every litttle bug going around!! This isn't the usual me...

    I am glad to hear that I'm not the only one feeling the crying jags...although I AM sorry that others are feeling it. It sucks and I wouldn't wish it on anyone!!! I just pray that 2008 is better than 2007!! Sorry to be so negative. Maybe I should just keep my thoughts to myself if I can't be more upbeat..but this has just been such a difficult holiday for me this year. As it's been for all of us...ok, enough whining now, right?!!

    Crystal

  • sue_blue
    sue_blue Member Posts: 416
    edited December 2007

    Hello all,



    I agree, this third tx was very difficult. The nausea, constipation, and tiredness are about to due me in. I am really dreading the next tx. The onc did say that many tolerate the taxol better than this A/C, although the case manager told me to get some glutamin to begin right after the last A/C. She said it helps to combat the neuropathy. That was a new concept. The fun never ends with this disease. Are many of you on the A/C and taxol regimen?



    Christmas was okay; I set my expectations lower for myself than Thanksgiving, as if I had a choice. I agree with the crying jags and the emotional roller coaster. Just keep looking at this one day at a time and trying to be thankful for the support that I have around me.



    I really am thankful for all of you bc sisters out there that understand what this is like. When I'm down I come here to gain strength from all of you and to try to be a source of strength in return. I am always encouraged when I see a new post and someone has come through another tx and is ready to face the beast again and fight. We have to fight for ourselves and those around us that need us and care for us.

    Blessings and health to all in the coming year!

    Susan

  • jay66
    jay66 Member Posts: 112
    edited December 2007

    HI all, Merry Xmas just to let you know I'm still here 3rd round of a/c got me. Next week start herceptin and taxol muga scan first. Not looking forward to a new mix don't know how I'll react. Sorry to hear about you crystal it must be hard also being sick. Karyl I'm a great believer that when one door closes another one opens, hang in there. Not easy at home at the moment, if I have any sort of mood swing it comes back in my face. So hard to be in a perfect mood all the time, wish hubby would reliaze than I'm only human things can mount up. He takes everything to heart wish he would just say oh well its all right. Sorry to whinge but don't know where else to.

    Hope every one has a good new years eve. Hugs all round.

  • mrs7148
    mrs7148 Member Posts: 225
    edited December 2007

    Hi ladies, Happy New Year

    We cancelled Christmas in my house this year. I usually get a houseful of relatives and everyone agreed I did not need the exposure to germs and disease and I sure didnt have the oomph to entertain.  My 3 kids & their sig others will be here on New Years day for the traditional Pork & Sauerkraut dinner, we will exchange presents then.  It will be a few days before my 4th tx so I will be the best I can be during these cycles.  I have to do 6 rounds of taxotere/carboplatin/herceptin so I will still be doing chemo thru February. Herceptin is not bad at all, not even considered a chemo drug, it does give a bit of a feeling like you are coming down with a virus for a day or so...but then it is gone. Taxol/taxotere comes with some major side effects; watery eyes that sometimes feel goooey, muscle aches and pains, I am sure your onc nurse will give you the drug sheet with all the side effects.

    I am working part time now to help out my department. My manager was overwhelmed with the workload and no one has touched the statistical part of my job since October! I dont think I will be worrying about those deadlines anymore!  Even though I don't post much, I do try to read the posts every couple of days, thanks for thinking of me!

    again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!

    Cheryl 

  • crystal1
    crystal1 Member Posts: 41
    edited December 2007

    OK..I'm alive again. Flu is pretty much over. Actually have a little energy (hmmm...what should I use it on?) Hope every one else is feeling better today, both in body & spirit. Anybody have any big plans for New Years? We usually just spend it "partying" with our younger children (dancing in the living room,sparkling apple juice, movie marathon) anyway, but this year I'm sure I won't see midnight!! (9:00 pm is the new midnight for me!!) How 'bout the rest of you?!  Crystal 

  • georgias_mommy
    georgias_mommy Member Posts: 87
    edited December 2007

    Hi Crystal...I thought we were the only one's in the world that celebrated like that! I'm so happy to hear that we're not alone. Laughing I'm with you on the "new midnight". I'm heading off to bed in just a few myself!

    Jay66, you just whine ALL you want. I'm having a similar time at home myself. One of my hubby's professor's (who's wife was diagnosed a couple of years ago) filled his head with all kinds of gloom and doom about horrible mood swings. Evidently his wife has had a really rough time. Anyway, my dh now thinks that I'll be just the same. The minute I get the least bit upset, he gets this look on his face that says "oh, boy...here she goes...". Ugh. Makes me even MORE upset. Good luck next week with the muga scan and herceptin/taxol. Check in when you can! 

    Cheryl, I'm so happy that you feel well enough to go back to work! I hope you have a wonderful New Year's day with your family. We had a wonderful UN-Christmas this year. No stress. No hustle and I didn't have enough energy to even THINK about bustle. It went over so well we might just try it again next year.

    I'm worried about Ginnyintx, Cindy and Sharont68. Has anyone heard from them?

    (((hugs))) for everyone...

    Sharon 

  • jay66
    jay66 Member Posts: 112
    edited December 2007

    Well just posting to say HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. All you ladies take care and I will be thinking of all of you at midnight here in aussie land. Best wishes for the new year.

    ONWARD AND UPWARD.

  • my2girls
    my2girls Member Posts: 54
    edited December 2007

    Hi ladies.  Hope everyone is having a good weekend or as good as it can be for you.  As for my extra week off b4 starting taxol - I am catching a cold or something nasty and I have either one of the worse cases of pms ever, am withdrawing from the chemo schedule, or I'm just in some sort of hormone downward spiral.  I am foul.  Wretched.  Irritable without cause and just plain nasty.  What a way to enjoy the time off, huh?  Makes me wonder what is it God wants me to get from this?  Am I being punished or what exactly. 

    It is raining here today and very chilly.  Back to work tomorrow.  Seems like I should be doing something.  What are the rest of you up to?  Church on Sundays?  Movies during the day and veggin on the sofa?  Is everyone ok?  Is anyone having a particurlary hard week?  Or good week?  I need to concentrate on someone other than myself.  I know we haven't heard from some in a while, myself included.  It is really hard sometimes to write.  Most times I just read. 

    Christmas was good for me.  I felt pretty good.  My boyfriend was wonderful.  Some family came in town and I made everyone slow down and enjoy some things.  Of course there were some down parts, always is with family hahaha but overall it was good.   Looking forward to Spring now.  Four taxols, then reconstruction and hair.  Yahoo.  I am stressing very hard about losing my eyelashes and brows.  I feel so ugly anyway and that is going to put me over the top I think.  I really hate being bald.  Looks really bad on me. 

    Susan,  I am on the AC / Taxol trip.  I am so afraid of the taxol.  Are you? I have mentioned b4 but even going in for the iv has me sick.  I have been reading up on the glutamine.  I will take that for sure.  There was another supplement that I can't recall at the moment that I read about too that I wanted to take.  I will get back to you on that.  I hope you feel better soon.

    I will also be celebrating with my kids unless they get a better offer for New Years.  No way will I make it to midnight and I don't really care to.  My New Year will start the day after my last taxol.  Of course, I will fake it for them.  Sparkling grape juice and times square on tv.  I already have a reservation for Memorial Day to go to the gulf side in Florida.  Looking so forward to it. It is good to look forward to something.

    Well, I have been babbling.  I hope you all are taking good care of yourselves and are good.

    Love,

    Lisa in VA

  • Jen44
    Jen44 Member Posts: 631
    edited December 2007

    I haven't heard anything from Ginnyintx or Sharont68, but I did see Cindy posting on the Dec. 2007 chemo thread.

    Hope everyone has a great New Year's.  Will be having my third TAC treatment on New Year's Eve.

    Jenny

  • Jen44
    Jen44 Member Posts: 631
    edited December 2007

    Hey Lisa,

    I think the rain mixed with the cold makes everything worse.  I was doing pretty good as far as my mood, but it seems like the more rain we get the worse my mood seems to get.  I don't usually feel too sorry for myself, but have noticed it somewhat this past week.  I am hoping that the yuckies will leave when the rain does.  Christmas Eve was great.  Just stayed home with my husband, kids, and my brother.  Roasted marshmallows, watched movies, wrapped presents to take to other family, made cookies, and just enjoyed being together.  Christmas Day was busy.  We were the ones that ended up visiting everyone.  I usually have everyone over to eat, but my cousin offered to host it this year.  That was the only place we were suppose to go.  When other family members found out we would be out of the house we were asked to come by.  We ended up going to four different houses before coming back home.  It was fun, but very tiring.  Went to bed as soon as we got home.  My brother, he lives in Myrtle Beach, spent four days with us.  It was a good visit.  He and I have never gotten along very well, we are like night and day as far our personalities.  It was actually enjoyable to have him with us for the holidays.  It was the first time my kids had seen him in over a year, so they really enjoyed it.  I am glad that your Christmas was good.

    Take care everyone.

    Keep laughing,

    Jenny

  • georgias_mommy
    georgias_mommy Member Posts: 87
    edited December 2007

    Hi Jenny! It's so good to hear from you again. I'm glad that you enjoyed your Christmas so much.

    Good luck tomorrow with your treatment! I'll keep you in my prayers. Check back in when you feel up to it.

    Happy New Year everyone!

    Sharon 

  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited January 2008

    Blessings to each and everyone in the New Year. May you have food, shelter, family, friends and love for today, tonight and many years to come... oh yeah... kill the C... hehehe....

    Love and hugs and thank you all for being here throughout this past 2007.

    Karyll

  • ginnyintx
    ginnyintx Member Posts: 44
    edited January 2008

    Hi Ladies I hope you all had a wondrful Christmas and a Happy New Year. I have been out of commision since my 3rd treatment

    the chemo head and headache lasted a good 12 days now I feel

    better but tire very easily. Sorry I have not checked in. I also have

    the mood swings,hot flashes. the flu symptoms a couple of days after the ac and tax and whatever the hell the other one is. man drains me and makes me mean! lol but i got a lotta love left in between for my family and all you beautiful ladies. May we all keep strong, damn we sure have to be strong to deal with this.

    God Bless and I pray for us all to have it  alot easier on our next dose. Hugs ginnyintx

  • Jen44
    Jen44 Member Posts: 631
    edited January 2008

    Happy New Year everyone!

    Sorry I haven't been keeping up as much as I should.  Besides all the fun stuff that comes with the treatments my daughter got strep throat.  Then my husband got sick and my son followed.  My husband slept in my son's room and my son slept on a cot to help keep the germs away from me.  I wasn't glad that my family was sick, but it was nice for a change not to be the sick one in the

    houseLaughing  I enjoyed being the one taking care of them for a change.

    My treatment went okay yesterday.  However when I got home I was aching like crazy.  It was the first time it has hit me the day of the treatment.  I slept, or at least tried to, most of the day.  I was able to get up and lay on the couch to watch the ball drop with my family.  I am feeling better today.  Stomach is still somewhat upset so I am not eating much but most of the aches in my legs have gone.  I will make sure to do better about checking in more often.  Thanks for not giving up on me.

    Keep laughing,

    Jenny

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