please help

lisa..sheila..Valerie..and all wonderful ladies in here thank u so so much for every word in ur encouraging posts ,,i dont know what woud i do if i didnt find u all...i was with the socila supporting lady in here and i felt really better to tell her evry thing i am passing through or feeling ,,she was a bless ,,,i felt gtreat that the system in here having such type of assistance it was possible for them to arrange a weekly appointments with her with a translator to swedish language so i can feel better and express myslef easier,,how wonderfull was that,,??she gave me a cd of soft relaxing music to help me with insomnia she told me where i can have a good walking as i am new in this town and dont know anything in it,,she also promised me to ask for that special lymph masaging in the hospital as she felt my pain and my feeling so lost not knowing where or wat to do to ease this pain and swelling,,she will call me bak to tell me about when and where they will take care of that,,,

dear sweet sue i feel so worried about u,,how do u feel today ???plz did u have rest ??did u went to the work today??plz listen to ur dady and accept his offer ,,u cant imagine the reliefe that i felt after my onk,said that i am not allowed to go to school any more i never thought that i will feel like that at all as going to school was my own decisison and no one inforced me to go,,,she was talking about all that stress that i was burdening myself with waking up early in the mornning ,,dressing up having the heavy prosthesis in my bra,,putting on this hot wig,,trying to be as normal as i can while i am so sick,,running to catch my buss,,trying not to fall asleep in the classroom ,,coming back home trying to make lunch for myslef and hubby be4 he come from work,,,,lab lab lab da da da,,,running all the day and having a sleepless night after all that,,,i was so crazy,,today i have another time table,,,,i wake uo late,,having light breakfast...start to think about how to furnish our new flat in this new small swedish city,,,i spent the time in bed relaxing then dressed to meet this wonderfull lady,,i found a new way ,,,i wish that u can make use of all what i have been passing through,,,

i know that my posts are so long ,,it is just i want to be as usefull as i can for u and for other ladies,,,and that i feel that i am talking to my sisters and my family (who i do really miss like hell),,,we used to talk and tell everything to each other about what happened in our days at the end of the day when we come back home (specially our mother who is an excellent listener)now i just feel the same with u,,,,

i love u all...

I miss so much when I'm not here for half a day!  Sorry for not checking in last night.  We actually went out for the evening.  My daughter's 5th grade teacher recently passed away and they were having a fundraiser in her memory at a local restaurant.  She was diagnosed with bc in 2005 (stage 3), did the mast, chemo, and rads, and at her one year checkup, discovered that she had leukemia.  It's very rare to develop leukemia as a result of chemo--1 out of 100,000 patients my onc told me--but she was the one.  Her onc is actially my doc as well.  Anyway, she had a bone marrow transplant and everyone was hopeful that she'd be cured, but she developed a staph infection and died in October.  It's a tragic story--she was a wonderful teacher and an exceptional person. 

Sue, I'm so sorry that yesterday was a horrible day for you.  I had to giggle at the thought of your endless protests while in the dreaded chemo chair.  I seriously hope that you're home today.  I will yell at you later if you went to work!!  Everyone is right about the need for rest.  You are being a very naughty cancer patient, Sue!!  I'm sending positive healing thoughts your way that today is a better day!

Ulla, you sweet girl, I can't believe your onc had the nerve to blow you off that way.  I realize she's busy, but there's no excuse for that.  I am glad though that you were referred to that wonderful social worker.  I'm so relieved that you finally have someone to talk to about your concerns who actually listens and is doing things to help you. 

Love and hugs to everyone,

Karen

Lisa, I still can't believe what a jack@#s your ex was during your bc ordeal.  Why are men such idiots sometimes?  My DH (when in all caps it stands for dick head rather than dear husband ) is being so incredibly insensitive through all of this.  I guess that my illness is creating a financial strain on him.  We have good insurance, but the surgeries and whatnot were only covered at 90%, so there have been bills trickling in for the past couple of months.  He makes really good money, but has nothing to show for it, he says.  All the while he's implying that it's all my fault and that he had SO much more when he was single.  Grrrrrrrrrr!  Like I asked to get sick!!!  He actually made a comment a while back that he couldn't wait for my f#$king overhaul to be done.  Overhaul??  Like I'm a frickin "lemon" and need major work and it's such a STRAIN on him!!!  POOR man, saddled with a LEMON!!  Sorry to vent, but you guys are such a great support.  I can't really talk to my family or other friends about this.  I don't want them to dislike him.  It's all such a touchy thing.  You want to voice your "stuff" and get it out so you'll feel better, but then everyone thinks your husband is a DH!!  Sigh......

Thanks for listening to my rant, everyone.

Love and hugs,

Karen

dear karen ...plz never let those silly words of ur husband affect ur healing at alll..act like u never heared them,,,u have all the right to be rest ,,relax,,and feel better with all wat u r passing through ,,we need to be treated as soft as can be ,,tey cant imagine how painfull to lose ur healthy self image suddenly...i think that they dont mean to be such insensative but it is just there nature ,,,they r so selfish ,,in nature ,,it all our fault as we raise them to be like that when we take care so much about them as they r our kids ,,and once we gte sick and dont feel able any more to give them the same level of care they turn against us,,,it is so sad,,,,

dear lisa ,,thank god that u get rid of ur crazy exx,,at end this is wat really matters ,,,it is better to be all alone without the stress of such an a#ss with u,,this is the last thing that we need through our long hard juorney,,,,i feel happy for u to have such a supportive family and friends around u ,,u r blessed,,trust me as i am telling u that when i am living alone with my husband so far away from our families,,,god bless u,,,

dear ladies i just recieved now 2 christmas cards from gb and sue ,,,i felt like i have my family again ..they made me so so happy ,,i loved the crads ,,u made my day really,,,thank u so so so much ,,

dear sue i hope that u r sleeping now like an angel ,,i dont want to thionk that u went to work today ,,i loved the christma s card so much i love red ..how u guessed that??

dear gb the card is so so nice,,i will wiat till that santaklose who is sitting at the end will reach here in sweden giving me my presents...

laughing ,,,hopping u all feel as good as it can be....

kisses ..hugs with much love 

Thank you so much for the kind words, Ulla.  You're right, we do deserve to be treated kindly and with extra gentle care during times like these.  I guess men just aren't "wired" for that.  I'm hoping to raise my son to be a little more sensitive.  I do pamper him though.  You're right.  They're taken care of so well by their mothers and then they marry and expect the same from their wives.  Then when we have the NERVE to get sick and can't provide that level of care any longer, they turn on us.  It's pathetic!!

Take care, Ulla, you sweet girl.  I sure hope your dh is treating you better than mine and Lisa's.

Love and hugs,

Karen

Ulla, I'm sure you weren't like that before the cancer.  Your dh must understand that it's the stress and physical discomfort that's making you irritable.  He sounds like a wonderful man and I'm sure he realizes that you'll be back to your old self soon.  This is not really who you are--it's this darn disease!!

Sue, I'm envisioning you with ranch dressing covering your face!  I'm sorry, but I'm laughing again.  Not at you--with you!!  You are in such trouble for going to work, young lady!!!  You could have chopped your finger off working in that condition!! 

Take care all you lovely ladies.  Sorry for the rant earlier.

Love and hugs,

karen

Sue....did the wicked witch come to visit you yet?? I sent her...your punishment for going into work!  I have said it before...and I will continue too...you really, really need rest!! That is a HUGE part of the treatment for beating bootface!! Darn you!! ok...done disciplining!

Karen...girl, I can relate!!!!!!!!!!!

Ulla...you are fortunate to have a patient loving man!  It's ok to get testy...hard not too.

Sue...your story about the ranch dressing is funny!  Everyone thought my wig was real too!  TODAY IS MY LAST DAY TO WEAR IT!!!!!! COLOR TOMORROW...AND NO WIG AFTER THAT! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO HAPPY!

LOVE U ALL!

XOXO

LISA

dear sweet sue ,,i am still thinking about the right way to punish u...what to do with u naughty ,naughty young lady,,,,

plz try to think about all what i said about the importance of rest,,i am just understanding how wroung was i am now,,,

i even had the same dark thoughts that u r speaking about now,,everything starting from the (what the benifit of having all those treatments ??till the horrable question of what if i have recurrence .???so many dark thoughts and q??? i even thought that it would help to go to school and keep myself busy with something ,,but now i know that i was completely wroung  i must rest,,i must give myself enough time to overcome this stupid bootface ,,,,and u must listen to ur body ,,,i know that it is hard to be sitting home with nothing to do ,,no work to keep u away from those dark thoughts ,,i was in the same place be4 u...trust me honey ,,,u will start to feel as i do after ur third traetment ,,,i just started to understand the importance of being sitting at home ,,not doing anything and not to be stressed about working and dong everything in the right way,,,or to study and having tests or or or...

i think i am repeating wat i have said in my previous posts but i just cant help it seeing u doing all my mistakes again without trying to tell u that is wroung,,,

i am sorry sue ,,u must rest. 

Sheila...I am not familiar with your bc.  You did not have to have chemo or rads.  What surgery did you have done?

You certainly have had allot of cancer in your life..and have seen allot.  You do have allot of wisdom, so thanks for giving it to our Sue!!

xoxo

Lisa

sorry..not trying to be nosey..just trying to familiarize myself with everyone on this thread.

I was dx with DCIS in the right after 2 previous dx of ADH in each breast. I opted for bilat mast and am going through recon. I had clear nodes and that got me out of the chemo.

You are not nosey, I just want to help anyone I can.  One month after my surgery, I was going into my PS office and saw a woman walking with two pillows under each arm coming out and I asked her in the parking lot if she had bilat. She got this strange look on her face and I told her that I had it done June 1. She then asked me if it got easier, her drains were just removed that day. I told her that if her drains were out, she was on the road to recovery. I have not seen her since but felt good to lift her up.

Sheila

Sheila...I may need you to lift me up later.  I am having my left breast reconstructed, hopefully next month.  I am planning on a pedicle (sp) tram flap.  What did you have done?  I am excited and nervous at the same time.

What is ADH..sorry, I am bad with all the abreviations of this dreaded disease.

Lisa

Ulla...I envy your relationship!! To find a man that truly loves you and most of all CHERISHES YOU!!

Sue..you and I both enjoy our independance!! It's tough sometimes...and lonely...but I am happy. Sue...your worst days are 5/6 then 10 & 11?  That's odd.

shower...shower..I smell Subway...haha

Love to you all!

Lisa