No reconstruction- Happy w/your decision?

I too was told I was too heavy to have a DIEP procedure. Something to do with the healing of the stomach incision. At 225 pounds and a 42 DDD, I hate my chest and wish I had done recon earlier.

I am thinking about having my implants taken out. If I have them taken out, I am not intersted in wearing any protheses.  how many of you go "flat" chested.  I am not quite ready yet to make a decision, but trying to sort it all out.  I was a 34B prior to BC and my implants are 300cc - supposed to be about the same size as before.  I have my bilat 3/1/06, exchange 3/23/07 and revision to exchange 7/23/07.  The two sides are not symmetrical, but not quite as bad as before the revision.  I just don't like the implants - probably more what they represent.  In clothes i look okay, but I don't like they way I look naked - these are not "boobs". I have a consult with another PS in January (the soonest I could get in).  I want to see what she thinks - are these just great or what.  I know that I have to make my own decision regardless of what the PS says. Thanks in advance.  Karen in denver

I go flat almost full time.. on rare occasions I wear soft titties sewn into a tank top.

Occasionally I get looks, and for me, that is fine. I wish that more people knew that this is what really happens when you have breast cancer. We do not feel nor look the same. We don't stare at someone with a missing arm, leg, eye... but.. for some reason.. and I know that it is because hundreds of thousands of women have either had reconstruction or wear prosthesis.

This is the face I present. I have had bc, a mastectomy.. and this is what I look like.

I am not happy that I have lost a lovely part of my body, but I have. I do not care if the world knows.

Great thread!  Thanks marlee1 for getting it started.  My decision to forgo reconstruction after bi-lat, 10/10/07 (1 necessary other prophylactic) was easy.  I was very flat-chested before surgery (never wore a bra) and am not much different, now.  (A lumpectomy wasn't even an option - the 4cm tumor was my entire breast)  The only difference now, is that I don't have any nipples, either.  Before surgery, I thought I'd have that part reconstructed eventually, but now I'm not going to.  Just no need - for me personally.

That being said, my husband of 18 years did attemp to talk me into getting the 'Dolly Parton' look.  I told him, surgery wouldn't end there bc I would need 'butt augmentation, otherwise I would be falling on my nose.  Yea, I am sure from his point of view, it'd be nice.  But in my mind, my breasts or lack-there-of, never defined me as me.  So, no thank you.

Karen1956 ~ Your post caught my eye as I see you are from Denver.  That's where I go for tx (live 3.5 hours away, though).  Do you by any chance go to the Cancer Care Center at Porter Hosp?  I am heading back for #2 on the 20th.  Oh, and I saw a great PS that I'd highly recommend.  Could maybe get you in before Jan., if you are interested??

Peace and strength to all ~ 

Hi ladies.  I am 32, married, and have 2 young boys (5 & 2).  I had a bilateral mast on 10/25/07 (1 needed, 1 prophylactic).  I was very large chested before but I opted to go without recon.  Initially 2 reasons, really-- with 2 kids, I just wanted to get rid of the cancer and get on with healing.  Recon would only prolong recovery time.  Also, in my opinion, if I had gotten recon, it would have been entirely for other people.  Reconstructed boobs would look alien to me and most likely I wouldn't even be able to feel them.  So I didn't see the point.  For these same reasons, I don't bother with prostheses either. 

At this point, closing in on a month after my surgery, I am very pleased with my decisions.  My boobs tried to kill me.  I am glad to be rid of them!  I may end up seeing a plastic surgeon to clean up the incision sometime in the future (we'll see as it continues to heal), but i do not see reconstruction or prosthetics in my future at all. 

As an aside, I have found very little info on gals like me who opt to go without recon or prosthetics.  Even the NP's I see at the breast care center all assume everyone would want one or the other.  But for me, bra-free is the way to be.   

 To my surprize, my doctor mentioned a mastecomy to me, even through I am only grade 1. I completle agree with you, chemomom. I just got diagonosed on Monday and what ever I can do to prevent my kids from having a sick mom, I will do.

I had my surgery in May 2006 and the last thing I wanted to think about at the time was have reconstructive surgery. My partner said he would like it if I did early on, but as I had a rough time with the anaesthetic, he has left the decision to me. I just did not want to put my body through more stress of surgery, even though my surgeon does an amazing job.



My boobs are not that big anyway and I am not a vain person about that sort of thing. I was just happy to get through everything and keep my health.



I only went and got my form (named marjorie) about two weeks ago and am very happy with it. I don't wear it every day as I hate wearing a bra and only wear one when going out.



Being in Australia, the majority of women prefer not to have reconstructions, and as forms are so very good these days, nobody can really tell anyway.

Hi Vicki,

I'm certainly aware that many women feel the most attractive thing to do after a mastectomy is to have reconstruction. But there are those of us who feel that it's more natural to be flat after losing a breast and, in some ways at least, more attractive. For me at least, the desire to "just get through it all as soon as possible" wasn't a major factor. Before my mastectomies, I looked at many pictures of implants and flap surgeries. I didn't want to mess with my abdomen or back or buttocks (all of which I like and all of which my husband finds sexy) and I didn't want a foreign object (implant) in my chest. So non-recon was the obvious choice for me. 

Many women who have recon say that they look great in clothes but not so great naked. I also look great in clothes--I never was into cleavage anyway. And, having had bilateral mastectomies, I can go bigger or smaller as I wish, depending on my mood and what looks good with what I'm wearing. As far as when I'm not wearing anything, I feel good about the way I look. Yes, I'm flat, but with a nice smooth chest and almost invisible scars. I look more petite than before (I was a B/C cup), which I like.

What may surprise you the most is that my husband emphatically supported my choice not to have recon. He felt he would have disliked my having fake breasts. I had my surgery a little over a year ago. At first, I was shy about having him touch my chest, but over time that has become a pleasant part of our intimate times together.

Definitely, some women can't imagine living without "breasts", so for them it's wonderful that a variety of reconstruction options exist. For me and others on this board, it's preferable to forego reconstruction. 

Sally,

I can only answer for myself that, yes, pretty much the same thing happened to me about a week or ten days after surgery. I began to feel super-sensitive (not so much painful as sensitive). I could hardly stand to wear anything against my skin.

I was told that the most helpful clothing in that situation would be silk (thin silk, like WinterSilks camisoles) or satin, since those fabrics glide over the skin. I had a couple of old WinterSilks tees and lived in them for about three weeks. The good news is that the sensitivity gradually subsided and then disappeared.

I've seen women with implant recon post about the same experience, so I think that this is something that happens whether or not you've had reconstruction, probably at least in part because of disrupted nerves that are coming back to life and regenerating. I went to a physical therapist and she gently massaged the area and encouraged me to do the same. That seemed to help. Not sure if it's okay for you to do that with expanders--you should probably check with your PS first. 

Hope this helps. 

Just thought I would send a quick update - I saw a second PS on Thursday - sure wish I would have used him from the get go. He heard what I was say - the emotional pain.  He feels that I am still healing and it would be best to do nothing for now (as far as taking out the implants).  He suggested that I think about the finishing touches.  I know that this is the NO Recon thread, but since I had asked before about going "flat" I wante to share what the PS said.  I am just as confused as before, but now I am more willing to give it time.  Even though the PS says I look porportional for my body, I still feel that the implants are too big (though they are only 300cc). I have visited ERica's site and need to go back there many more times, but for now, I guess time is the best answer.  I will keep you posted once (if) I make a decision.  Karen

Karen,

Appreciate the update. We're here for you either way and wish you the best.

- Susan

Hi. This is my first time on.  I am seeing a PS in less than a half hour.  Already had one mastectomy, will be having my second.  Debating reconstruction, but leaning more toward not doing it.  Had a pair of 32DD's.  It was weird being lopsided, although prostetics take care of that nicely.  Some part of me is actually relieved to have the opportunity to be even again, although "even" will mean being flat.  I know a lot of people have had great results with reconstruction, but like many of you, I fear the added complications that come with reconstruction.  Sure, it would be nice to look good in clothes, but I have a couple of friends that are eager to help me with dressing "flat".  Mostly, I'm tired of having to make so many huge decisions as a result of this disease.

Unless this PS can guarantee me fabulous results with no issues (which is probably not going to happen), I think I'll be basing my decision on health and not appearances.  Thanks to all you ladies who wrote of their experiences, you have helped me immensely.  Doctors are our saviors, but they rarely have the actual first-hand experience of their treatments.  Reading your accounts has given me the strength and conviction to listen to my own voice.

Please do not feel foolish for posting your concerns.  That is why we are here!  Give yourself time.  Since you are having radiation wait and see how it looks after that. 

I know its not the same but I had a right side mast a year and a half ago.  That was followed by radiation.  Anyway, except for the bathing suit I really have not needed to change what I wear.  I still wear low cut stuff.  I use fashion tape and then if I bend down no one can see anything but the clothes are still low cut.

All that being said, I think there are partial prosthetics that can be added into a bra.  Maybe someone else knows for sure....Barbara, perhaps?  Or others on this site?  You could also go to a mastectomy fitter-they have lots of solutions for things that we have never thought of.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I can understand your concerns. 

Glasslyn,

Welcome to the board. Sorry to hear you are facing more surgery. Let us know how your appointment went. I had a unilateral mast but figure it is just a matter of time before something shows up in the other breast. First diagnosed at 36, recurrence in the same breast at 42, now almost 44. What are the chances in the next 40-50 years my remaining breast will be unaffected?

Like you, I am a hard to fit 32DD and often think life would be easier had I had a bilateral. As Barbara says, when you have a bilateral you can pick your size. A perky B-cup would be nice! Also, I'm sure your choices of clothes will be much broader when you are a bilateral because there won't be the mismatch at the upper part of your breast. You should be able to use Carol's fashion tape trick and wear lower cut tops. I know for me, I can't wear anything that shows below my collar bone.

Surgery is always scary and losing your remaining breast must be very difficult. We will be here to support you.

Hugs, Susan 

lisa54,

There are many, many options that are much better than a water balloon, either lightweight, inexpensive non-silicone breast forms or silicone forms. Nowadays, silicone forms are much lighter than in the past. There are also silicone forms available with special backs that keep you cool. Amoena makes one such form (climate control) and Airway makes another (Tritex). The key is to find a good fitter and also to find a comfortable bra. It does takes some trial and error to find what works best for you, but if you read through the posts on this board, you'll find that many women have come up with good solutions. And insurance usually pays for a silicone breast form once every year or two.

You might want to check out my non-profit website, BreastFree.org. There are sections on "Breast Forms" (prostheses) and "Bras and Camisoles," also photographs and personal stories told by women who chose not to have reconstruction. Many of the contributors are women I met here at breastcancer.org. 

I would be depressed too if the only solution I'd tried was a water balloon, which of course doesn't resemble a real breast. You really can feel good and look good in clothes if you find the right breast form. Don't give up.

Barbara