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  • Lucy1234
    Lucy1234 Member Posts: 289
    edited November 2007

    Sue you must take the time off if you need it. Otherwise you are going to end up back in hospital and off for ages!

    Im sure they understand

    They are very lucky to have you

    XX

  • mastectomy
    mastectomy Member Posts: 14
    edited November 2007

      dear sue,

          i've been there.i feel not exactlybut probably close.i am a rn and was diagnosed  invasive colloid ca,i'm her2+,estrogen receptor+ and had lumpectomy5/27/07.had chemotheraphy and decided to have bilateral mastectomy after uncleared margins on lumpectomy and found dcis.i was just operated 11/16/07.i feel much better now.i feel free of cancer now!there's lot to learn abt our condition.we need to fight this ok?embayaras_rn@yahoo.com elizabeth

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Good evening everyone xxx

    I hope you are all doing 'OK'...

    You guessed it ... I stumbled to work.....lol....I don't know why I am laughing...but stumble is a good description...I always seem to see a characature in my head of this silly girl...when I am thinking about what I do.....Karen hit the nail the other day about seeiing this journey as if it is happening to somebody else....

    I had a really bad breakdown on the phone with my dad last night... don't get me wrong I just don't know what it is....everything drives me to tears and screams of frustration inside....like running up a mountain with no knees....

    My dad has offered to pay me for taking the time off of work...as he says I shouldn't have the pressure of feeling I need to....my boss told me he would be paying me in full ages ago....but I still feel guilty for finishing an hour early.....so why do I do it if I don't truly need to....well I suppose I don't like to lose...and I love my job....I have always been a workaholic ..... its quite good for my nature....and so if I fell down flat I would have lost out to bootface....maybe I am becoming obsessed with overpowering this illness...

    See me rambling here .... I am so like you describe yourself Karyll...

    So today I am tired .... and disjointed and don't know what... and my arm..especially my wrist on my bad side has been aching like mad...and is swollen...

    Am I whinging tonight here ...lol....my head keeps going blank....I need a pick me up and a kick up the backside!!

    I am certainly going to mark down my bad days....day 5 and 6 were bad with a sore throat etc...and day 10 +  I am exhausted! Hopefully I will get a few good days in soon...before I go back which I am ultimately DREADING....

    I will shurrup now Wink

    my sleep is appalling too...I am tired.... but go to bed and my eyes wont shut bcos I feel too zany ...

    Much Love xxx

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Poppy.....I have missed you ..... I hope you are still recovering well.... and getting lots of rest....I bet your boys are really looking forward to Christmas .... I wish mine were babies again .... sometimes I look at them and feel all dithery and old...LOL...which is not true of course ....hahaha  xx

    xxxxx

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited November 2007

    Hi Sweet Sue, what a lot of decisions to make. I wish you weren't so concientious! You get a lot from your work, I did too, but you need to go home when you get tired. I know this is hard, the work ethic is firmly established in your head, and I think work is good for you, BUT, when you are finished physically, you must go home. You will continue to catch things if you are too tired. So think of it this way, they are lucky to have our precious Sue at all. So you must put yourself first and when that overwhelming fatigue hits, go home.



    You are turning into a wonder child, but you must watch out for yourself.

    Take good care and they will understand, they love you just as we do.

    Oh, I have 3 sons, one is 52 and grey, one is 49 and grey and the youngest, at 46, still has brown hair, but is losing it! And, oh, how I wish I had my little sweet boys back! BUT, grandchildren will be along and they are so much fun. You will love them even more.



    Gentle hugs, Shirlann

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Shirlann xxxxx

    You have my heart ...xxx  I am going to really think about when I need to take time off work and start listening to my body xx

    What a lovely cruise you had...I would love to go to Mexico....

    Have you seen the poor ship in the Antartic...how sad...I hope it can be saved.....

    Well I am off for a hot bath and a think! think! think !...I need to find myself....  I am sure its all the medication .... I don't feel me xxx

    Much Love xxx

  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited November 2007

    Sue,

    I am the same way you are.  I have a strong work ethic, and before I got bc was NEVER out of work. But I must tell you that staying home during bc was for ME, the best thing I ever did.  It made the journey that much easier.  No germs to worry about, when I was tired I slept and I did things at my own pace.  Thats not to say when I was feeling good I didn't go a little batty .  I did get bored sometimes but like you I was in treatment during the Holidays and I kept busy shopping & decorating.  I bet your boys would love to have you home during the Christmas season.  Just something to think about!!

    Whatever you decide, you are still kicking that bootface right where he needs it!!!

    Stay strong,

    Valerie

    Shirlann - LOVE the cruise pics - I am so jealous - DH & I cruised the Caribbean a few years ago - we had a great time. I would love to do it again.

  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited November 2007

    Hi SueSmile! I'm so glad your Dad was there for you last night. Please Sue , take his advice. I know your a fighter. I know you don't want to lose. But if you don't take care of yourself through chemo , you'll be doing more harm than good. Shirlann is right. This is all about you right now. And by taking care of #1 , then you can take care of your boys , your job and the rest. Big hugs to you Sue.((((((((sue)))))))Chin up.

    Shirlann , thanks for sharing the pics with us. They are all so beautiful.xx

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited November 2007

    Hi Sue,

    My neighbour's rooster woke me up a while ago crowing his lungs out and I couldn't get back to sleep so here I am, 5am, thought I would see how you are. I really hope that you have at least one day off over the weekend because I am so concerned about you not having enough rest.

    Your sore swollen arm really should be seen by someone with up to date knowledge of LE. I am no expert but I think lymphoedma can occur any time after surgery - especially when you have had a lot of nodes removed. It may be just a bit of post surgery edema but I think you should have it checked out. Overuse makes your lymph unable to drain efficiently. Lymphatic drainage can be done by a physiotherapist who specialises in LE and it is so gentle and brings wonderful relief. Also, kinesio taping can really help after the massage as it lifts the skin slightly, allowing the lymph to drain more freely. I don't know if you have private medical insurance to claim some of the cost. I was able to claim through my private fund and when I had used all that up I was able to get on a "plan" with Medicare which gave me 6 visits for which I was able to claim. Sometimes they bind your arm, from hand to armpit to stop the lymph from pooling in your lower limb. You might also get a compression sleeve fitted. I have seen quite a few women wearing these while they work.

    In the LE topic there is a wonderful women (Binney) who knows a lot about LE so you may want to ask her opinion. I am not saying you have LE Sue but I am concerned and I would so hate to see you burdened with it.

    I hope I haven't been too bossy and opinionated.

    Love & hugs,

    gb 

  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited November 2007

    Hi Sue!  I'm sorry I haven't been by to visit with you in a couple of days.  I was in the kitchen for eight hours yesterday (boy, did my back hurt last night) and today my son insisted that we get out the Christmas decorations.  All I really WANTED to do was vegetate on the couch! 

    I'm sorry that your arm is giving you so much trouble.  I agree with gb, you should see someone about the possibility of it being lymphodema.  My friend who lives in Australia wears a compression sleeve and it helps her so much. 

    How wonderful of your dad to offer to help you out financially so you don't have to work.  He loves you so much!  I don't know what I'd do without my parents.  They've been so great through all of this.  I don't ever want to find out what it's like to see your child battle such a horrible disease.

    Take care Sue, and all you other wonderful ladies. 

    Love and hugs,

    Karen

  • Wren
    Wren Member Posts: 324
    edited November 2007

    You all are an inspiration to me.  I read all your posts every day--and keep you in my thoughts and prayers. 

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Sue,

    I haven't been on here for a few days.. I am sorry to see that you were feeling down.  How are you today??

    I am sending you lots of hugs and support!  I remember those down days..and they are all so normal.  This beast that we are fighting, can take it's toll.  You are a fighter, and you can fight on your strong days...take it easy on your weak ones!

    We love you!!

    xoxo

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Sue,

    I just read your latest posts..somehow I missed those.

    I am glad your dad has made that offer too you.  I too come from a strong family with good work ethics.  I never called off work, unless I was very sick.  But through my chemo, like you I worked, but I did let them know ahead of time, that on days 3,4 or 5, I would not be in.  It helped so much to be down, in bed on those days..you need it!! When it comes to your dad's offer with money, take it. I know for me taking any kind of financial help or just help around the house was very difficult for me to do.  I have always been self sufficient and, can do things on my own.  But when it came to this....I learned to accept the help!! I am so glad that I did.  It has been very humbling, but very beneficial.

    My family helped me financially, so did my job...they held a fund raiser in my name!! Take the help...it makes everyone who helps you feel soooo GOOD!

    Get the rest you need....remember it's part of the healing process!

    Love you!!

    Lisa

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Yoohoo xxxx

    It is only me ...lol...on a Saturday night slouched out after work....xxx

    I hope you are all having a good weekend and are resting up after your celebrations xxxx

    Well ...I feel like Missy Piggy ... I mean Miss Piggy when she is in mood mode ...with Karate chop noises....while I fight this bootface...I have her voice in my head for some reason....strange ....

    I have had a busy day at work...we get so busy on a Saturday ...making 300 sandwiches just over lunch alone...anyway I have been grinding my teeth all day long  Surprised .... really grinding them and feel hyper....whats wrong now!!! I haven't taken any tabs apart from anti d's  ....my friends have been laughing ....they tell me I will have to chew gum like a drug addict ..... I don't like how I feel...and I don't know if it's normal..

    Well two things important to me tonight...one is my other breast...it has been sore for a few weeks...my gp checked me over and said it may be a s/e to the anti d's it feels like there are lumps all over it and a couple of prominent sore ones...and it is reminding me of my other side...what to do ...what to do....she said she would keep an eye on it.....does anyone else get this soreness with drugs...it is dragging me.... 

    Secondly.... my o/h picked me up a book from the library today called fighting cancer...and the whole of the chemotherapy chapter was negative ....and it's really got to me.... I feel like I am being conned by the oncologist and that in most circumstances it doesn't work...do you think different authors/people have different views ...because I feel like I have just smacked myself in the face...I am going to throw it outside and let it go soggy in the rain!

    I will be googling it all night now.....

    Why am I grating my teeth ...lol....good grief ...it's a nightmare...

    I will do some reading..

    Much Love xxx 

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Karen....... I meant to tell you ...I saw the picture of you with your darling son the other day ....what a beautiful memory ..... You are fantastic xxx

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Sue, Sue,

    It's ok dear....relax!! I grind my teeth too!  I think it's just part of our make-up sometimes.

    Throw that book out in the trash, rain, wherever! It's upsetting you.  You will read so much with different views.  I did not, nor could not read anything about bc for the first 8 months after my diagnosis!  I went to this site back in February...and thought..no...I cant do this...it is too much right now.  So here I am now...9 months later..and I am ok  reading and learning.

    Relax and read a feel good book for now!

    xoxo

    Lisa

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    and one more question...sorry...! 

    I have been wondering if some breast cancers do not have the ability to travel .... do you think this is true in some cases....my gran havd 2 matectomies 40 years ago and both times it never went anywhere else...no chemo.... I suppose nobody knows and maybe it is my deeper wishful thinking xxx

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Lisa lol...I think I will try a feel good book....it has really annoyed me!!!! 

    I hope you are Ok its so good to see you again xxxxx

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    I am good!  I was off of work on Thursday & Friday, and my girls were home...so I was not on the computer till I got back to work today..haha.

    That would have annoyed me as well.  That is why I did not read!! haha!

  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited November 2007

    Hi Sue and Lisa. Glad to see your posts. Sue , I do know teeth grinding is a SE of certain drugs. I never had that , but a friend of mine did. Drove her crazy! My left breast would have "hormonal" type pain off and on. But since I've been on the tamoxifen , I haven't had any pain.

    Oh , I got my mail today and had a letter from my breast surgeon in it. I had all ready got the all clear on my mammogram. So , just for a split second , I thought , what if it wasn't ok and this is the letter that tells me so!?! It was from the doc that read it (mammo) , and was letting me know it was ok too. Man , we never stop worrying about this do we.Sue , I tried to read about chemo just before I started it and I put it down. I just asked questions here and of my onc if I needed to know something. Books give all aspects of the treatment and it was way to much info for me at the time. I just concentrated on me and what I needed to know. Yes , there are breast cancers that are not "invasive". Maybe your Gran had one of those. Get yourself a cup of tea and try to relax. Are you off tomorrow? I hope so. What day is your next treatment?

    Lisa , I hope you and your girls had a great Thanksgiving.

    Wren , Welcome , I'm glad you enjoy reading our posts. We help each other all we can. The ladies on here are the best sisters ever.Thanks for the thoughts and prayers and right back at ya!

    Melody xxxx

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Melody!

    Hi...glad to see you too!  How was your Thanksgiving?  I read about  all the dishes you were busily making on Thursday.

    My Thanksgiving was very nice.  All three girls together, at least for part of the day.  My middle daughter, she is always on the go...doesn't spend much time at home.  We all 4 went to a movie yesterday. We saw the new Disney film..."Enchanted"...very cute...I loved it!

    That's what you need dear Sue....go see a movie or rent one...a feel good fun one...to make you laugh!

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Hello Melody  Laughing

    I am just having a nice cuppa now...I have a day off tomorrow..thank the heavens...and my next treatment is a week on Tuesday (4th Dec)  I am going to mention my heart and my headaches and the pain in my left arm and my breathlessness and my lumps and my grinding ...lololololol.... I will have to make a list....

    I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving!

    I bet your heart dropped a thousand feet opening the letter....isn't it dreadful.... When I broke down to my dad the other night...I said to him that even though it may never come back again .... it had trashed my life anyway as I would always  be overshadowed....I just wish I could have had ten more years worry free before I had gotten it.... now I know what a 'clean bill of health' means ..... isn't that a nice phrase...clean bill ....of health....  I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!! I mean physically AND mentally!!

    Oh my .... I am freaking sick! sick!! sick!! of it ...lol

    I am so glad you are having clear mammos xxxx

    xxxx

  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited November 2007

    Hey Lisa , I had a great Thanksgiving too. My son was home , we watched movies and ate and ate and ate! He will be back on Tues. with his girlfriend. They are gonna put up the tree and help decorate. That will be so nice. He has been at college for the past four years , and I missed the fun of putting the tree up with him. I want to see Enchanted. It looks cute. Well , have a great evening.xxx Melody

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Lisa...you had a great thanksgiving.... your girls sound wonderful!!  

    I may watch a movie.... I don't think I would be able to sit still for long enough at the moment ...lolol... it's my head ...it doesn't seem to be in tune with my tired body.... xxx

  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited November 2007
    Hey SueSmile! You know , one of the ladies on the chemo thread that I post on had the racing heart. They said it was from the chemo and that it would settle down. She is ok. I got headaches. Everytime. But they were dull "just there" headaches , not like migranes. And my ex-niece in law had the breathlessness. Boy , what a motly crew we arelol. Yes , definately tell them of all your SEs. Yes , write them down. It never failed , I always forgot to ask about something , because I didn't write it down. I go Tues. for blood work at the hospital then appt with my onc Wed. I think I am gonna get a cuppa too Sue!xxx
  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited November 2007

    Oh yea Sue I second that motion , I am sick ,sick,sick of it too!!!

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Melody,

    Sorry if I asked before...chemo brain..haha.  Are you finished with your treatments?  Lumpectomy or Mastectomy?

    I am feeling so good lately...and all everyone is saying...is Wow..you look good, your color etc.  Which means, I must have really looked bad before! haha!

    I am done with all treatments.  I have my reconstruction left, and that will be hopefully early January.

    I see my onc on Monday, to check my blood, etc.  I am on tamoxifin now.  I started it 1 month ago.  So far so good with that.  We will see what the blood work shows.

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    I THIRD THAT MOTION...HAHA........VERY SICK OF ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Oh Melody  .... I am so relieved about the s/e but I am so sorry we are all freaking sick of it ...lol..... I have just counted the months up since you have had diagnosis...it is only just over 2 months for me....8 months for you...you have done so well....this nightmare I feel like I have had for years....

    Enjoy your cuppa .... I am so happy to hear about your son...I hope your Lilly kitty is not going to climb the tree ...lol.... Have a lovely afternoon xxx

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    and ...one more thing...I am duh I am...of course I can't wishful think that my bootface won't at all travel...if it was invasive....I am silly...I just can't think straight.....xxx

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