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  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

     Hello Everyone xxx

    Today has been Yell ..........  Cry......Yell....lol

    I went to bed last night at midnight feeling rubbish...and I had loads of dreams...then my alarm goes off at 7am.....and I oversleep for an hour!!!  So I texty work and tell them I might be late...I could have made it to work for 9am ..but I felt so lethargic....and laid back...and in no rush Surprised  so it was almost 10am before I gotten to the shop... bad morning...but guess what today.... well the early hours I got a period...grrrrrr.... its only 2 weeks since I had one...and my onc said I would have a menopause...so whats all this about...It hacked me off ...lol

     Anyway I had a busy day at work....and felt energy...but driving home tonight and getting through the door I am extremely exhausted like drowsy tired and I am yawn yawn yawn all the time!

    Also my heart has been pounding today on and off.... My body is all messed with....

    So I am off to have a bath...or I might just make a shower...but I tell ya ... I feel unusually zzzzzzzzzzzzz.... it is day 8 since treatment

    Thank heavens I have a day off tomorrow! The world is stopping and the roundabout is almost still...but guess what....I don't care.. lol.... Well I do.. but there you go...I don't know anything these days...whether I am coming... or going....lol

    Anyway .... I do hope you are all having a good day .... BIG HUGS

    Much Love xxx

  • Ulla
    Ulla Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2007

    oh poppy ,,congragulations from the bottom of my heart....

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Hugs to you Sue!

    It's normal to have down, sluggish type days...even without bc.  Don't worry to much about it...just listen to your body and get rest if that is what it's telling you.

    After your shower, relax and put your feet up...remember take care of yourself!

    Tomorrow is another day...and maybe you will feel energized.

    xoxo

    Lisa

  • omyoga
    omyoga Member Posts: 12
    edited November 2007

    Try to have a sentinel node biopsy instead.  All they take are a few significant nodes and the surgery is much less traumatic.  I got lymphedema after having most nodes removed and found out afterwards that progressive hospitals only take the sentinel nodes first - if they are positive then more can be removed.  The lymph node dissection was much more traumatic and invasive than mastectomy.  You have time so check around for sentinel node dissection. 

    omyoga

  • Ulla
    Ulla Member Posts: 840
    edited November 2007

    daer sue

    dont be worry about the period thing ,,i have experienced the same with mione and the onk said that it can come and go and be irregular or just dissappear ..no one of us is going to have the same side effect as the other,,so dont worry,,plz keep happy as u were yeasterday as u made me feel better when i read ur posts ..hang up there while i cant..smiles..kisses and big hugs

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Ohhh Ulla xxxx I love you ! lol

    I wish I could give you a great big hug...I know how much you are suffering with the treatment.... please know that I sincerely care and you are in my thoughts throughtout the day... all of you !! in a different way ..... oh my xxxx One day I will come over to Sweden to see you...I think the insurance isn't as high if I fly europe in the first year xxxx

    Well I had my bath... and my 2 platefuls of food....lololol then in an hour I will have my 2 bowlfuls of cereal...followed by 2 apples and 2 bags of crisps ...that is what I have been eating every evening for a week....golly gosh....hahahaha

    I am very drowsy...bit like kidney infection drowsy....and I have a temp ...so I am wary... I have also just had an emotional meltdown about dying...and full of that I love my boys too much...I can't possible be allowed to die ...type of feeling..... it is horrible!

    But I am still shiny happy..... thank goodness for the pills....I should have took them years ago ...lol

    England are losing the football tonight

    Please all of you have a great thanksgiving ..... and give your family extra extra EXTRA hugs ....xxxxxx

    Much Love xxx

  • lvtwoqlt
    lvtwoqlt Member Posts: 6,162
    edited November 2007

    Poppy, I liked the great news about no more DCIS. I also after my mastectomy got the same news. I am not taking chemo or rads because no lymph involvment.

    Sue, I hope that you stay upbeat. I do so enjoy reading your posts. When the doctor put me on Tamoxifin last fall my periods were crazy, sometimes 2 weeks between sometimes 2 months. Remember the boy scout motto 'be prepared!'

    I hope that all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

    Sheila

  • Lucy1234
    Lucy1234 Member Posts: 289
    edited November 2007

    Thanks guys



    I feel like I have cheated a bit.....

    You are all great and of course I will stay in touch Sue. You guy have been my life line.

    X

  • my3girls
    my3girls Member Posts: 3,766
    edited November 2007

    Poppy....cheated...?? please do not feel like that at all!! You had to give up a part of you with your surgery...that my dear is not at all cheating!  We are all sooooo happy with your news!!

    Sue darling, keep eating!! I hope you don't have any infection.

    Stay strong...we love you!

    xoxo

    Lisa

  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited November 2007

    Poppy - doing the happy dance for you!!! YIPPEE!!!Smile

    Sue - Sounds like you have chemo fatigue.  I had it bad.  Everyday I would have to take a nap.  Sometimes climbing the stairs exhausted me.  Ulla is right, we all have different side effects.  You will get to know yours soon enough.  Just listen to your body.

    Hope all my homies have a great Thanksgiving - you all deserve it!!!

    Love & Hugs,

    Valerie

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Poppy ...YOU DID NOT CHEAT .....YOU DID BRILLIANT....

    I am so inspired by your spirit and the fact that you are so much younger than me.... and I am so relieved that you will stay in touch....there will always be a bond between us all here...and I so enjoy reading how everyone is and about our lives....

    I could squeeze you so hard ...lol....I am over the moon for you....now carry on recovering....physically and emotionally ...and always know we will be here for you ..... xxxxxx

    ....one last thought as usual.... I am so pleased for your O/H and your boys .....  your family and friends .... they must be delighted xxx God bless you all xxx

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Valerie. xxx...I love staring at your scenic picture and your name...it brings me great warmth  .....  xxx

    Sheila....hello xxx I am so happy to see you....there is such warmth and kindness from you every time you give me advice.....I will be prepared ...lol...I wasn't this morning...I hope you are recovering well from your surgery ...... xxx

    Much Love xxxx

  • honeygirl
    honeygirl Member Posts: 1,718
    edited November 2007

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!! I am cooking like a maniac. So I can't stay long. My son will be here in the morning. And I am trying to get a lot of stuff cooked ahead of time so I can spend more time with him. We will watch our favorite Thanksgiving movies (Trains,Planes and Automobiles and Charlie Browns Thanksgiving) and Macys parade while eating pumpkin pie.So far I made Minnesota wild rice stuffing , chocolate pie , hamberger and bake beans dish , and am about to make pineapple casserole and pumpkin chocolate chip bars.But I don't mind. Cooking is my passion. And then I won't have to cook for days!lol Hope you're all having a great evening and may God bless you all this Thanksgiving day and everyday. Peace and love to you all.xxxx

    SueSmile! Yoo-hoo and Boo! I know you are fast asleep now , but don't get discouraged , you will have highs and lows , but remember , we are right beside you.Weather it is handing you a tissue or laughing till we cry , we are all in this together , and together we shall always be.xxxxx

    Tomorrows another day , we're thirsty anyway , so bring on the rain!

    And by the way , my onc said after my second tx of chemo , my periods would stop. Guess what? I had a period every month! So , it just depends on you. They can say what they THINK will happen , but everyone is an individual and what happens for one may not for the other.

    Go Poppy , go Poppy , go Poppy! You go girl. We love hearing news like this. Happiness to you always and stay in touch!xxxx

    Melody

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited November 2007

    Checking in on our Sue tonight, it is 1:30am, I think, in England right now, so hopefully, sleep has got our girl.

    OH POPPY!  What wonderful news, I feel like my girl just graduated from college!  This is such good news.  We are all so happy.  But you are always our sister, can't change that! 

    So Fumi is going to get my pix of the cruise on as soon as she can.  She has a very difficult job, very busy.

    Anyway, hi to all, and see you tommorow

    Love, Shirlann 

  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited November 2007

    Woo hoo Poppy!!!! This is exciting news indeed. Congratulations.

    I just posted in another thread bout my new found continual period.....same thing two weeks apart.. now spotting all the time and hot flashes.... good grief, I am an estrogen nightmare waiting to explode!

    Happy TUrkey Day you American types... and that food sounds soooooo good, I think you should email us all some... lol

    Karyll

  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited November 2007

    Pix from Shirley on the cruise

    Hugs,

    Fumi

  • mrs_X_Sunneedazee
    mrs_X_Sunneedazee Member Posts: 541
    edited November 2007

    Hi to everyone.

    Great pictures, shirlann, sounds like you had a wonderful time.  

    Poppy- congrats on your great news!

    Melody, that all sounds so yummy, can you send me some??

    Happy thanksgiving to all, whether from the US or not.  We can all take a day to be thankful for all of the blessings in our lives.

  • portiasproudmom
    portiasproudmom Member Posts: 2,125
    edited November 2007

    The photos are great, Shirlann!  I'm determined to go on a cruise someday.  I get horribly seasick, so I've been scared to go up until now.  I'm sure I'd be fine if my doc prescribed a patch, don't you think? 

    Sue, I was prepared not to have periods while on Chemo, but I had mine right on schedule.  And it was even heavier than usual!  I was pretty ticked off too!

    Poppy, you'd better keep in touch with us.  Just because you're lucky enough to be "done" doesn't make you any less of a sister!  I'm so thrilled for you.

    Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  I'm so thankul for you all!

    Love and hugs,

    Karen

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited November 2007

    Poppy - that is such wonderful news! Congratulations! You are a very valued part of the team here.

    Sue - no wonder you are exhausted - you couldn't stay on the hyped-up high you were on the other night! I really agree with the others that it is your body telling you to take it easy. So glad you have a day off. Please pamper yourself!

    I have always loved the idea of Thanksgiving. We don't have it in Australia. I just like the idea of expressing gratitude - I think it's an emotionally healthy thing to do. And all the cooking and celebrating with family - it's really wonderful. Melody - you made me hungry when you described all your yummy dishes.

    Shirlann - your photos are beautiful! What a great time you must have had. The closest I have been to a cruise is a whale watching outing for an afternoon this last winter! The waves were huge but I was too excited to get sea sick!

    I had a massage today and also had my compression sleeve fitted. It wasn't as uncomfortable as I thought it would be and I'm going to wear it every day for several hours before I fly next week, just to get used to it. 

    Wishing everyone a very happy Thanksgiving,

    gb 

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Hello Everyone xxx

    Shirlann....your pictures are beautiful, next time you go on a ship like that pack me in you suitcase ..... thankyou so much for posting them xxx

    I wanted  to say hello and wish you all a wondeful thanksgiving...I love you all xxx

    I do hope I have the right time difference xxx

    Today I am feeling very tired in a strange way.. I haven't stopped breaking down and my heart won't stop beating with sad thoughts. The whole world is crashing to bits and I am a tiny wreck clinging to the rocks. I am losing my head and the emotional havoc leaves my inner strength vunerable.

    I can't see for the fog and I have got very bad amnesia..

    What is wrong with me . I don't want to die but I think I will...I am too weak...I don't deserve to live I have brought a big burden upon the universe being with this here stupid thing of a stupid illness

    I don't even know how I will get through work tomorrow ....I know nothing ... it is day 10 but I feel like it has been 10 years

    xxxx

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    What is that Rosie ... I will go and look ..thankyou xxx

  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited November 2007

    No Sue, don't go there.

    Here's the tip to enjoy the internet safely.

    When you are on the message board like here and see someone post the link, look how many posts they have made. If that's their first post or they have only posted the same link over and over (you can see that on their profile page, just click on their name), they are most likely spammers/trolls. You may get infected by viruses there or be added on the mailing list that you would never wish to be listed.

    Hugs,

    Fumi

  • nowheregirl
    nowheregirl Member Posts: 894
    edited November 2007

    Dearest Sue,

    You ain't gonna die anytime soon. Period. And no, nothing is wrong with you at all. You're just tired and you have every right to feel exhausted. Who wouldn't when going through such an ordeal? You are not a superwoman are you? Don't be silly sweetie. You do deserve better. You do deserve to live a long life with your precious kids. Just take a deep breath. Look at the mirror and say "I'm not gonna die soon!" and eat chocolate. I bet it makes you feel better. Geez, I so wish I could just squeeze you.

    Believe me, there was a number of times when I felt exact the same way as you feel right now. I even felt suicidal from time to time, like when I got divorced, when I was dx'd with this stupid disease, when I was told that I wasn't a woman anymore after I had a lumpectomy. But hey, I am still here, alive and kicking. Sue, you're going through the most difficult time right now. Trust me, it will get better. Just allow yourself to be sad, angry or tired but never ever blame yourself one bit. You have done nothing wrong. Remember, we are all here for you 24/7. You can't be alone even if you wish. We will not let that happen!

    {{{{{Sue}}}}}

    Fumi

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    I want to be a million miles away but here...the pressure of working a stressful tiring job... the long rush hour traffic tomorrow ...the thought of getting out of this chair to do anything is.... I can't remember the words in my head.... what shall I do pack a bag... get to the airport and fly to a desert island ....... I will send you all a message in a bottle... 

    Fumi ....  people like  rosie are diabolical... in fact he's probably not even called rosie ....

    Thankyou for explaining xxx

  • sueps
    sueps Member Posts: 2,266
    edited November 2007

    Shirlann..I hope you are having a good day. Where did you cruise to..your pictures are great....I wish I was well enough to go on holiday xxx

  • TenderIsOurMight
    TenderIsOurMight Member Posts: 4,493
    edited March 2008



    It's true what Fumi says, Sue, we all have our moments of grief with this disease. With you both Mothering, and working and chemoing, you're doing a lot. It's hard to be on top when your in public feeling nauseated or weak. And when you're off, you play catch up both in mind and body....



    You're doing a yoamans job Sue, letting that chemo into your body to do it's work. It's hard... we understand your insight...we care.



    It's a day of Thanksgiving here in the US, and I have said my prayers of thanks as well as my prayer for my Sisters and Brothers and Families touched by breast cancer. And that included you, Sue, and yours.



    Tender

  • geebung
    geebung Member Posts: 1,851
    edited November 2007

    Sue, Fumi has given you such wonderful advice. Please be gentle with yourself. I haven't been where you are now but I do feel for you and this exhausting and confusing time you are going through.

    Fumi, thank you so much for your advice regarding the troll. I made a false accusation against a long standing member and I feel terrible. From now on I will check my facts before shooting my mouth off.

    Sue, if you still feel exhausted tomorrow, could you possibly take the day off from work? It sounds as though they value you so highly there and I am sure they would prefer you to take it easy rather than working. So many people say that the first round of chemo is the worst because they don't know exactly how your body will react. Hopefully, next time they will make adjustments and you won't have such a rough time.

    hugs,

    gb 

  • Karyll
    Karyll Member Posts: 235
    edited November 2007

    Figure out which were your roughest days Sue (physically I mean) and be sure to take those days off as your days off next time if you have to.

    I work like a mean machine on my better feeling days and then have no guilt or shame or fear over taking what for me are the 5th and 6th days off after chemo. On those days, I give in to the chemo. They are my, sleep, cry, rest, do nothing, pout, laugh, visit, type days.. whatever I want to do when I want to do it. If the kids are here, they get TV dinners as do I because my taste buds are usually gone well before then.

    I have to work - but if you don't have to - don't. In my case, work keeps me sane because I know  I could very easily succumb to a self pity party (I Have dealt with depression all my life and know the triggers and signs and symptoms) So for those two days, I allow myself the luxury of not even getting out of my jammies if I don't want to. The rest of the time I just go on "function" mode, until I start to feel human again (at least partly).People are amazed, awestruck, humbled that I am working through this... I think well yeah, I still gotta pay the mortgage and buy food so it is not so amazing really - it is neccessity. I would like to have the luxury of taking 7 or 8 days off during the chemo thing but it just ain't gonna happen for me....I wouldn't want to not work mind you - just would like a bit more rest in between. Its a choice only you can really make given your circumstances. I hope right now though that your choice is to be tucked in and sleeping away the fatigue. (((((Hugs))))

  • Shirlann
    Shirlann Member Posts: 3,302
    edited November 2007

    Hi Sweet Sue, we just took a short cruise to Mexico. San Diego is only 12 miles away, and the ship left from here and returned here, so it was quite easy with no flights. The Mexicans are wonderful neighbors and we are very lucky they are close to us and willing to share their lovely country.



    Sue, you will have days like this. When things seem so overwhelming it just seems too much. But you just need to remember to take one HOUR at a time. Baby steps. Try not to jump ahead and solve the world's problems. This journey is so different from most things we face, long, you feel sick, I can't think of anything worse except a prison term with no end in sight!



    But you will have an end. You will get well, it is a series of ups and downs, a rocky road, but keep coming back to us. Dear Fumi had a hard, lonely journey too. And look at her! A solid rock of a woman and beautiful too. This will be you one day. Oh, Fumi is entirely correct, that post is a "troll". Or, a person who is either selling snake oil, or just a nut, or a person who gets their jollies with people with cancer. Don't go near that site. Fumi hit it head on, only one post, always beware. Just stay away from those people.



    It is hard, honey, but keep on keeping on. You are loved.



    XXXOOO Shirlann

  • livesstrong
    livesstrong Member Posts: 1,799
    edited November 2007

    Sweet Sue, I hope you decided to stay home today and rest.  But somehow I think you headed to work.  I don't know how you do it.  You are soooo tough.  I wish you could see it.

    Fumi words were spot on.  I don't think I have to add anything more.

    Stay strong, keep following the yellow brick road, you WILL make it to OZ!

    Love & Hugs,

    Valerie

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