Best Friend Told Me He Thinks I

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited October 2007

    I meant normally two "straight" people are not usually best friends, able to go out together, be together all the time and never. So, IMHO, it is easier to be a friend to a "gay" person when the other person is "straight".

    I am certainly not trying to "blast" anybody. BTW, my friend said you (Pink Ribbon Amy) would probably be good friends because he likes your sense of humor. Surprised Go figure Laughing

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited October 2007

    Thanks Amy...that is all I was doing...just venting. Never thought I would get so many upset. Honestly, that was never my intentions at all.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    Shorbr .. Please understand that it wasn't You who got so many upset.  This board is here for you to be able to vent and you should be able to do so without your feelings being invalidate.   I'm sorry it happened.   

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  • Biker54
    Biker54 Member Posts: 1,310
    edited October 2007

    Shortbr,  Never feel bad about venting.  Your friend was an insensitive idiot and should apologize to you.  You didn't do anything here to turn the thread nasty.  Some people can't see through the psycho-babble in their brains and end up making stupid statements. It's like not being able to see the forest for the trees!  It is what it is.  Your friend made a hurtful remark to you and he owes you an apology.  I also used humor to get through treatment, but I was the butt of my own jokes.  I don't think I would have taken kindly to anyone, let alone a man, talking to me like that.

    Thanks for letting us know how you felt.  I'm giving you a big hug!  It will get better, I promise.

    Jan

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2007

    Shorbr:  I am very sensitive about having to go on all these doctor appointments.  When my life was normal - I had my pcp.  Never in my wildest imaginations would I have thought I would have a whole group of doctors watching over me.  The idea of like being fondled, makes me want to puke.  Especially since I have self esteem issues with intimacy since my diagnosis.  When I read your post, I wanted to cry and yes I would be very angry.  My journey with breast cancer hasnt been funny.  Its been the worst thing that ever happened to me - and I think good friends should understand not to joke about it.

    I do believe that laughter is the best medicine, but there sure wasnt alot of laughter in my life when I was going through chemo.  What I did find in the chemo rooms was that we supported each other alot.  Had our own little support group shall we say.  Joking around?  Did none of that, and it probably would have hurt my feelings.  At that time in my journey I thought I was going to die for Petes sake.  Nothing funny about that.

    Im confused with the issues mentioned about editing.  First of all I edit my posts all the time.  I had so many posts get lost in cyberspace that I learned to type a little bit, edit, and then go back and type somemore.  What kind of support world are we living in, when now we are being criticized for editing a post.  

    Sometimes after we have been in our journey for along time, we forget what its like when a newbie comes for help.  Sometimes posts just dont seem supportive.  If we had a way to quote, Im sure I would have seen alot of that here - as that is a favorite of some.  To quote and make us feel uncomfortable. 

    If I need counselling from a shrink, I will go to one that I know - not someone who seems to be missing one or two nuts and bolts.

    I dont think we should psychoanalyze people here.  I think its important to support peoples feelings and understand what is funny to one might not be funny to another.  

    Nicki 

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  • NoH8
    NoH8 Member Posts: 2,726
    edited October 2007

    Funny shorbr I'd probably like him too-- my closest friends and I connect over our senses of humor.

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  • Sandra1957
    Sandra1957 Member Posts: 1,701
    edited October 2007

    Well, I had my check-up today with my BS and as I was sitting in the exam room 1/2 dressed waiting for my exam, I got really angry about the whole "fondled" comment.  As my exam was being done I got even angrier.  I'm really sick of it all.

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  • 2up
    2up Member Posts: 1,358
    edited October 2007

    well .............. i for one wouldn't even know i was being fondled thanks to bilateral masts lol!

    it really IS an insensitive comment to make when there are a few of us who long for "what we used to know and feel" 

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited November 2007

    Now today I have an appointment with the gyn doc. I just had an appointment with my surgical oncologist last month and everything was good. Uggghhh...I dread having this exam today and especially since my regular ob doc is away on medical leave until January. I am tempted to wait until then. I am in no mood to be examined...besides I have an upcoming with the med oncologist this month too and that involves being "checked".

    All these appointments Yell

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  • JoelKM
    JoelKM Member Posts: 205
    edited November 2007
    Now is the time to find a real friend.
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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited April 2009

    Update...we are no longer friends. I got married 6 months ago and he actually walked me down the aisle and gave me away. He was on best behavior. He actually cried at the ceremony and reception. He really was very happy for me, but I think he is actually jealous that someone took me away from him.

    He made another off the wall remark and I decided that enough was enough. Such a long story and too much to type. Still love him as a person, but he has turned into such a miserable old man. Have decided to keep our conversations very limited and we have not spoken in a while.

    Just had a bilateral MRI on Tuesday and found out that my results showed no evidence of malignancy. You would think that after all this time, I would be less fearful, but I am still afraid

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  • jader
    jader Member Posts: 223
    edited April 2009

    Shorbr, sorry you have lost a friend ... it hurts when we lose a friend that's been in our lives a long time, even an insensitive one.  I had a gf and we are no longer friends because she was just plain rude to people and thought her kids never did anything wrong.  I still miss hanging out with her but I sure don't miss her mouth or her childrens' behavior!

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  • shorfi
    shorfi Member Posts: 791
    edited April 2009

    It does hurt...he has been in my life for over 30 years, through the good times and bad. Do I miss him...not at the moment, but I think about him often. We shared everything, no secrets, now that is what I miss.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited April 2009

    Shorfi...I am so sorry you lost what, given the length of your friendship, was such a good friend.  Who knows what the future may hold...maybe you just need some time apart.

    Hugs

    Peggy

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