Starting Chemo in May 07

Wow its been awhile for me.  I've been really busy since my last treatment on August 10th.  My hair did not completley fall out but it is still coming out.  I'm thinking about just shaving it so it all comes in at the same time.

My onc suggested it.  I had an appt on Friday and I dont have to go back for 3 months.  The receptionist looked at me funny when I told her to have a Merry Christmas.LOL  I go back in Janurary.

I have some eyelashes and eyebrows left and they are not falling out anymore. 

My fingernails look gross.  I look like I have smashed all my fingers.  The nails have seperated from the nail beds.  I'm being very careful so I dont snag them until they grow out.  I cut them regularly so they dont get to long.  Today I tried to get all the yucky looking dead skin out from under them so they look a little better and there is between 1/8 and 1/4 inch of new growth on all of them.  Hopefully it will only take a month or so for them to be back to normal.   My nails grow fast.

Well need to get to bed.  I have been substitute teaching and I have a teaching job tomorrow.  I'm staying in middle school and high school to avoid the germs of the little kids.  LOL

Have a great night, I'll try and be back soon,

CindyKS

Hi all - I love everyone's avatars!!  I'll have to have a pic taken soon, it's just that every time I do all I see is the circles under my eyes...eeks. 

Let's see - my eyebrows decided to start growing back - but just the first 1.5 inches starting with the inner half - not quite sure I explained that correctly, but I look pretty darn funny....can't wait until they grow in all along my brow line - the outside half too! Tried to explain to my mom that I had half of groucho marx's brows and lost it, laughed so hard I cried. 

And then it's so damn cold here (just the season change) that I've hauled out my winter hats.  The hair on my head is about 1/4" long, IN PLACES.  In some spots it's nonexistent.  All I can say is: good thing I have a sense of humor and no fear of going topless, because with the hot flashes those winter hats go flying (along with my sweater and whatever else I can strip off as I dive for the nearest water, open window or walk-in freezer )  So if you see a nearly bald woman in the grocery store running for the icecream section while simultaneously stripping...yep, that's me. 

Then, to add insult to injury, when that's done, I'll be freezing cold.  And every layer goes back on and I head for the hot tea.  Sheesh, who wouldda thunk that temperature regulation would be so challenging?

Started tamoxifen on Saturday, hot flashes are pretty much 1/hr.  Eeeks.

No word on the 2nd interview results yet, I hope to know by the end of the week.  And oh yeah - I went through radiation simulation (twice, long story) and start rads on Oct. 8.

Hope you all are well, keep posting! 

Amy, you're entire post except your last two sentences, had me laughing so hard I was literally crying .... again. I needed it. Thank you.

I'm copying and pasting my post from the expander thread I'm on all the time.....

Hey Ladies,

Well, what a crappy morning I have had.

My little sisters PET scan lit up something on her vertabrae's. She had BC 9 yrs ago for those of you who didn't know. I've been crying all morning.

But wait....it gets better....I was switching my insurance from group to individual..why is a long story...anyway, the hosp called to verify my ins for surgery tomorrow and Aenta told them it had been canceled effective 10/1.

It boggles my mind that my incompetent agent, may have made me un-insured and .... un-insurable!!

Needless to say....surgery canceled. My agent said I should receive paperwork within 7-10 days.

I'm so scared about my little sister. She's being all brave in emails to me because she's at work but I know....as soon as she gets in her car, she is going to lose it. She lives in Atlanta......

Anyway, I sure hope all y'alls days are going better than mine!!

: ) Traci

Kara, love the pic!! You're post made me laugh too and I'm so happy about your clean margins! Good luck with all the other stuff!

Cindy, I'm sooooo sorry about your nails. I didn't have that ....I'm so sorry you do. I hope they do grow out fast. : )

Traci, I am so, so sorry to hear about your sister. Keep us posted. i also hope that the insurance snafu is easily cleared up. I had something similar happen and the new policy kicked in to the cancel date of the old one but it took them MONTHS to get the new policy in place. Grrrrr. Hang in there girlie... sending you cyber hugs.

Kara, good to "see" you! We are all getting braver about our noggins. That's a good thing!

Liz, of course you have a right to vent about what you have going on. We all have our "stuff".  

Amanda, I'm right there with you on the temperature thing! Either freezing cold or boiling hot and very little in between. It's a JOY!!!

Cindy, glad things are going well. 

I have baby eyelashes poking out, finally! Yeah! I've taken to using too much dark eyeliner (think Joan Jett with grey hair, LOL) and not even attempting the mascara but I can see that indeed the lashes are returning. Hooray! Eyebrows are coming in randomly, but of course it will be the ones that have to be plucked anyway that will probably populate first.

Hugs to all,

LeeAnne 

Hi everyone,

Traci - I am so sorry to hear about the worry over your sister Debbi - you guys must be so scared.  I am sending out positive energy and much hope for the PET scan to have uncovered something not scary!  I am also sorry to hear about your surgery delays and the frustrating reason for it.  I'm in Canada so don't have to worry about health insurance (thankfully) but I do know how frustrating it can be to deal with insurance companies for other things like cars, houses, etc.  Quite honestly, they suck - I sure hope all gets resolved and soon for you!  Sending you hugs over the net!

Cindy - Sorry I didn't mean to imply that your hair would take 5 months to grow, I just wanted to mention that I'd heard about that so you didn't worry that it would never grow back - that was rather insensitive of me - I do apologize.

Amanda - You know the visual of you stripping clothing, hats, etc and heading to the nearest ice cream cooler would be more effective if you posted a photo of yourself!! (look how cocky and demanding I am now that I've actually uploaded an avatar hey???)  How are you doing on the Tamoxifen?  Are you bitchy?  Nauseaus?  I'll start in a couple of weeks - yeah more side effects!

Kara - cool avatar!  and CONGRATULATIONS on CLEAN MARGINS!  I am having a virtual toast to your happy news!  By the way, your career sounds really great - it must be very rewarding! 

Liz - I'm with LeeAnne - we all have our problems and they are all relative to our lives - and they are all significant to our group - vent all you like!!  Hope you're feeling better.

I have a question...the other day, a family member mentioned that once I start radiation, I cannot be around elderly people or infants and I can't sleep with my husband (I'm not sure if she meant it in the biblical sense or just laying in the same bed)  I told her that was absurd and that I wasn't told that at all.  She mentioned that a co-worker and another friend had both just gone through rads in the past year and they were both told that!  (One for sure didn't have breast cancer)  I'm quite sure this is krap but I have to ask if any of you have been told this.  I won't be radioactive for heaven's sake...will I???

Finally (sorry this is such a long post)  I had the most wonderful surprise at work today.  My co-workers threw a surprise party in my honour today to celebrate the end of my chemo treatments, the fact that I am out of the hospital and back at work and just to offer their support.  I didn't suspect a thing and nearly wet myself when they all yelled surprise because it is REALLY startling to have 30 people all yelling at you when you open a door!  They had a wonderful lunch and someone even brought angel food cake so I COULD ACTUALLY HAVE SOME CAKE!!!   They also gave me a nice 'angel of courage' figurine and a card but the best part was that they all had written a word on the white board in the board room for me and there were words such as: brave, looks good in a hat, humorous, courageous, fighter, inspirational, etc.  I was so touched.  It was really uncomfortable to be the centre of attention for that reason though...normally I have absolutley no problem with this but to have a party thrown for me because I got cancer seemed really awkward - but I know that 's not why they threw it...anyways it was very touching and I felt really special!

Well, I'll sign off now - my thoughts are with those who are going through a tough time right now and everyone else who is waiting for those hair follicles to wake up!!

Good night,

Mandy

Its ok Mandy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you didnt freak me out,,,,,,,,,,I am just freaking myself out, lol.  I soooooooo much just want to see some real progress on the head that it is driving me a craaaaaaaaazyyyyyyyyyyyyy.  lol

Things seem to be progressing for everyone.  Glad to hear that.

Traci,,,,,,,,,,my prayers are with you and your sister.  I am sending you positive vibes.

I admire all of you women for posting pics of yourself with not much hair.......and I must say you all look terrific....I am not quite there yet.  I havent had one picture taken of me with no hair,,,,,,,,,,I just cant seem to bring myself to that point.  Shit,,,,,,,,I can barely look at myself bald....more or less the family take pics of me.  lol  So I admire you all for that,,,,,,,,,wonder if someday I will get there?  lol

Radiation is going very well.  I have no skin irritations or anything.  I wonder if the bomb will drop soon,,,,,,,,,it all seems to easy to be true.  lol

Have a great week all,,,,,,,,,,,,,,and positive thoughts for everyone going out to you.

Cindy

Went to the onc yesterday.  My blood counts are the lowest ever.  I have to take neupogen and procrit.  Yuck. 

And my lung collapsed.  I never had a doctor tell me that before.  Has this ever happened to you?  He was listening with the stethoscope and he told me to cough twice.  And then he continued with the exam.  And then he told me my lung collapsed -- like it happens every day.  I apparently need to breath deeper or spend less time on couch or something.

Traci, any news on the insurance? 

I'm sorry all of you are having to go through radiation.  It sounds tough. 

Good to hear from you CindyMN.  It does sound serious doesn't it?  I thought so.  But maybe it's common after surgery because they gave me that plastic contraption to blow in after my mastectomy.  I guess you can get pneumonia if your lung stays like that so good thing I was at the doc yesterday.  Have to remember to breath and stretch out our lungs.

Good luck on the hair growth.  My eyelashes didn't take long to come back, but it was pitiful when they were gone.  My mascara is the most important part of my makeup routine I think. 

lizyeh-sounds like your doctor thinks you have atelectasis, which is just when your lung does not fully expand because you do not take deep enough breathes and pneumonia can settle in there. It is kind of like part of your lung is collapsed, but not really. A true collapsed lung would cause you to to be severe short of breath and you would be in the hospital.  As long as you use the ball sucking thing they gave you and try stay active, you should be good, so don't be scared.

I think the lung thing is exactly what Iwy described.  I coughed and it immediately reinflated.  So I just try to make an effort to breath deeply a few times an hour.

Traci, I'm glad you got some good news on your sis.  I'll go read the other thread to see what you posted there. 

Hey Cindy from Southern Cal - you said radiation is going well, which is very hopeful for me!  are you using any skin products?  any tips for getting through?

Hi, everyone.  I really enjoy keeping up with all of your lives.  I've had a discouraging day, myself, so need to sound off a bit and ask a question.  I saw both my chemo onc and rad onc today.  Had an appt for my 4th fill (tissue expanders) on Monday with my ps but he wouldn't do it.  The surgery site STILL isn't completely healed and I had a small thing that looked like a blood blister which had popped open.  Anyway, they are all concerned it hasn't healed (surgery in April, never a smoker or drinker, basically healthy before, exercised). The rad onc suggested the incision site could still have cancer cells.  So I may need biopsies, may need to remove the expander and do a flap, may need to remove all skin on that side, etc.  The chemo onc is doing the BRAC test for genes...and if it's positive said I should have my ovaries removed!  I'll still have to radiation somewhere in there.

On top of all of this, this Monday my oldest son had to leave his wife and family of 3 kids for a year tour in Iraq.  My only daughter had a miscarriage on Monday, lost a lot of blood and was in the hospital.  This was her 4th miscarriage!  They are blessed with 2 healthy children, but really wanted one more.  She's much better today.

I'm a teacher...and it sure is hard to focus on my job when I have so many concerns.  I know I just need to give them to God.  

Thanks for listening...I realize I'm not alone in this fight.  I really appreciate all of you!

Now for my stupid question...how soon can we dye our new hair?  I've never NOT dyed my hair and not sure I want the gray to show and it sure is!  I know I've read something about this before.  Does anyone know?

Thanks again and good-night! 

o my my Lorain,,,,,,,,,,,I am sending you prayers about yourself and hope all goes ok with you.  Also big prayers for you son to return home safely.  And about your daughter,,,,,,,,,,,,,sometimes we dont know the reasons for miscarriages, but they seem to happen for a reason.  All the same I know its hard for her but tell her to keep her chin up. 

As far as the dying the hair,,,,,,,,,,,omg all I can tell you is that when mine is long enough to be styled its getting dyed, no matter what.  But I dont know if we are supposed to wait a certain amount of time,,,,,,,I sure hope not.  Although I'm almost 6 weeks post last chemo and all I see is scalp,,,,,,,a few little stragglies and thats about it.  I'm getting really bummed out cause I thought it would be growing at a nice pace by now.  Im still losing eyelashes,,,,,,,go figure.  Hardly have any left,,,,,,,,,,maybe like 5 on each lid.  Talk about impatience huh?

Have a good weekend.................Cindy

Happy Thanksgiving Mandy.  I'll celebrate by having some pumpkin pie in your honor.   I plan to have just one more fill in a few weeks.  I hope that's enough because I want to get rid of these expanders and get on with it already.  I'll have taxotere number 2 on Monday.  I had very low CBC counts this week so I had to take procrit and neupogen.  I did not feel very good--mostly just tired nothing specific, but I'm feeling better today.

Lorain, I'm so sorry to hear of your complications and your son's and daughter's situations.  Please keep us posted and know that we are all with you.

Thank you for the Happy Thanksgiving wishes ladies! 

Traci - I can't believe it is HOT where you are!  I mean intellectually I know that it is warm still in other parts of the world but in my mind I always think Mexico or someplace like that!  Yes, it is getting cold here - it even snowed yesterday and the local highways were a mess!  It was -2 degrees Celsius this morning (which is about 28 degrees for you guys)  I absolutely love all of our seasons, I just wish they were really 3 months each (winter is usually closer to 6 months, 2 months of spring, 2 months of fall and 2 months of summer - where we can still get some wickedly hot days (which I love) and I also wish the cold wasn't so cold.  We always get a major cold snap every year (at least one) where it gets to -40 degrees which is -40 degrees in farenheit too, I believe for anywher form a few days to 3 weeks!  A few years ago it was so cold my dogs would step outside of the door onto the deck and just pee there on the spot (in the snow) and come straight back in and I didn't blame them one bit!  Now that's cold!

My hair is at least 50% grey ( I started to go grey at 19 ! and started dyeing my hair at 24).  I decided that I am not going to dye it anymore!  Yes, applause all around for the courage I am showing!!  I am going to have to prepare myself for the comments about how old I look, how people will be surprised that I am 42 (and not 52) but I don't care - I think silver hair will look kinda good and it will be healthier than it was when it was dyed and fried all the time! I hope I can do it.  When I was 27, I decided to stop colouring it.  'That's not me - all fake and chemically enhanced' I decided (I am really quite a hippie at heart - my mom always said I was born too late) and I did stop for a few months and the grey just came in - but then my 10-year high school reunion came up and to hell if I was going to have grey hair for that so I started colouring it again and haven't stopped - 'till now!

Also, Traci - I am with you on your views about teachers!  There is a saying I like about teaching..."Teaching is the profession that creates all others."

Finally Traci - and most importantly - I am so sorry to hear about your challenges with conceiving a child.  I can't even think of anything appropriate to say (because I have 2 children and can't pretend to know how you feel) other than I am so very sorry and that I care. 

Well, enough of my rambling - enjoy that pumpkin pie Liz, you can have my share as I don't like pies and couldn't eat it even if I wanted to (too much fat).  This 'infected gall bladder' diet I'm on is amazing.  I basically eat no fat and and continue to lose weight!  Simple plan...I am looking damn good though if I say so myself...when my hair comes back, there will be no stopping me!  Oh hey, speaking of... - my pubic hair is coming back (I know, I know, no one really wanted to know that) but you guys were all talking about your carpets and I still had hardwood - now I feel like I'm in the club too! 

It must be late, I'm getting goofy...good nite eveyrone - have a great weekend.

Mandy